Darry's POV
It was almost 11:00, and Pony still wasn't home yet. Where in the almighty universe was he? It wasn't really that late, but Pony had been gone for a long time, and I felt like history was repeating itself. I wouldn't let it go any farther than this though. I would never hit him again. Not Soda either. I still couldn't believe I had hit him. I guess Soda had forgotten about it, and we never did tell Pony. There was too much commotion that day for us to think about that one small part of it.
"Darry..." A voice cut into my thoughts, and I shook my head to clear it.
"Darry, will you relax? You're getting too tense. Pony's probably fine." Twobit said.
I sighed and grinned at him. He was right. I looked over at Soda, and he was staring out the window with worry in his eyes.
"Soda, you need to relax too." I said.
"I know, but I just keep thinking 'what if?' I wish he would hurry up and get home. Where is he?" He said.
"Oh, glory! Soda's sounding just like Darry." Twobit said.
Soda had to smile at that. Twobit was just trying to lighten the mood.
"I know, little buddy. My thoughts exactly." I said
As soon as those words came out of my mouth, the front door opened and in walked Ponyboy with that frightened look in his eyes. Soda immediately ran over to him and hugged him.
"Where have you been?" I said trying to stay calm.
"I...I fell asleep at the drive in, and I just woke up a few minutes ago." Pony said quickly.
"What? How do you fall asleep at a drive in?" I was starting to get angry now.
"I was tired, and I just fell asleep."
"You said you were going to the park." Soda said.
"I did go to the park, but then I went to the Dingo, and after that I went to the drive in."
I couldn't believe how calm I was, but that wasn't going to last long. This had really scared me.
"Ponyboy Michael Curtis, we were worried sick about you. You were gone for six hours!" I said angrily.
"I'm sorry. I just..."
"What if you had gotten sick or hurt? Why are you so tired?"
"There you go with that again! I wondered what you would say the next time I was in trouble. Not too long ago, you would have been yelling about curfews or how I can't use my head. Now everything revolves around cancer."
"We're scared, Pony, and you going off and making us worry more doesn't help."
"What are you scared of? Are you scared it's going to come back? Guess what? I am too, but if it wants to come back, I can't stop it, and neither can you! It doesn't matter what you do!" Tears were welling up in Pony's eyes as he said this.
Soda was now on the couch with his head in his hands, and Steve and Twobit were leaning up against the wall. Pony was right. None of us could stop it. I have to admit, I wasn't angry this time because of curfews, falling asleep at the wrong time, or being just plain worried sick. I was angry strictly because I was afraid of losing my little brother. That was the only reason. I wasn't afraid of socs jumping Pony when he was out late either. I was afraid because I couldn't protect him from cancer. That was why I wanted him where I could see him all the time, why I was always asking if he was okay, why I wanted to know how he could be so tired as to fall asleep at the drive in. Normally, I would have been yelling and wanting to know what the heck was wrong with him.
"Pony, listen..." I said.
"No, you listen. Stop treating me like I'm going to break! Yell at me like you would have before I got cancer." He was crying now.
I didn't want to yell at him. I wanted to tell him how I felt.
"No, Pony. Let's go to your room and talk. Okay? You too, Soda."
They both followed me to their room. I asked Soda to come because I knew he was feeling this too. We were so afraid of losing Pony. All three of us sat down on the bed, and I started talking first.
"Pony, I don't even know how to say this. I'm afraid that we're going to lose you." I said.
"What does that have to do with my being gone so long?" Pony asked.
"It's like what you said a minute ago about how we can't stop the cancer from coming back. I was worried and angry because I can't protect you when you're out. That's why I want you home. I'm not mad because you fell asleep. I'm scared because of the cancer. I realized I can't protect you from it no matter what I do."
"You're mad because you're scared?"
"Yeah. I know I've been nagging you a lot too, and I'm sorry."
"Me too, Pony. I want to protect you from it, but I can't either." Soda said.
"I'm sorry I didn't yell at you too like you said you wanted." I said smiling.
"I didn't really want you too. I just want you to treat me normally. Don't be so scared of this disease that you can't treat me like a regular kid." Pony said.
"I'll try, but..."
"And, Darry, don't ever feel guilty for yelling at me or grounding me. If I get sick again, those things won't matter. I'll never think you don't care about me. Especially after tonight."
He had read my mind. I put my arms around my baby brother and held him tight. Soda did the same, and I knew this talk had made him feel better too.
It was almost 11:00, and Pony still wasn't home yet. Where in the almighty universe was he? It wasn't really that late, but Pony had been gone for a long time, and I felt like history was repeating itself. I wouldn't let it go any farther than this though. I would never hit him again. Not Soda either. I still couldn't believe I had hit him. I guess Soda had forgotten about it, and we never did tell Pony. There was too much commotion that day for us to think about that one small part of it.
"Darry..." A voice cut into my thoughts, and I shook my head to clear it.
"Darry, will you relax? You're getting too tense. Pony's probably fine." Twobit said.
I sighed and grinned at him. He was right. I looked over at Soda, and he was staring out the window with worry in his eyes.
"Soda, you need to relax too." I said.
"I know, but I just keep thinking 'what if?' I wish he would hurry up and get home. Where is he?" He said.
"Oh, glory! Soda's sounding just like Darry." Twobit said.
Soda had to smile at that. Twobit was just trying to lighten the mood.
"I know, little buddy. My thoughts exactly." I said
As soon as those words came out of my mouth, the front door opened and in walked Ponyboy with that frightened look in his eyes. Soda immediately ran over to him and hugged him.
"Where have you been?" I said trying to stay calm.
"I...I fell asleep at the drive in, and I just woke up a few minutes ago." Pony said quickly.
"What? How do you fall asleep at a drive in?" I was starting to get angry now.
"I was tired, and I just fell asleep."
"You said you were going to the park." Soda said.
"I did go to the park, but then I went to the Dingo, and after that I went to the drive in."
I couldn't believe how calm I was, but that wasn't going to last long. This had really scared me.
"Ponyboy Michael Curtis, we were worried sick about you. You were gone for six hours!" I said angrily.
"I'm sorry. I just..."
"What if you had gotten sick or hurt? Why are you so tired?"
"There you go with that again! I wondered what you would say the next time I was in trouble. Not too long ago, you would have been yelling about curfews or how I can't use my head. Now everything revolves around cancer."
"We're scared, Pony, and you going off and making us worry more doesn't help."
"What are you scared of? Are you scared it's going to come back? Guess what? I am too, but if it wants to come back, I can't stop it, and neither can you! It doesn't matter what you do!" Tears were welling up in Pony's eyes as he said this.
Soda was now on the couch with his head in his hands, and Steve and Twobit were leaning up against the wall. Pony was right. None of us could stop it. I have to admit, I wasn't angry this time because of curfews, falling asleep at the wrong time, or being just plain worried sick. I was angry strictly because I was afraid of losing my little brother. That was the only reason. I wasn't afraid of socs jumping Pony when he was out late either. I was afraid because I couldn't protect him from cancer. That was why I wanted him where I could see him all the time, why I was always asking if he was okay, why I wanted to know how he could be so tired as to fall asleep at the drive in. Normally, I would have been yelling and wanting to know what the heck was wrong with him.
"Pony, listen..." I said.
"No, you listen. Stop treating me like I'm going to break! Yell at me like you would have before I got cancer." He was crying now.
I didn't want to yell at him. I wanted to tell him how I felt.
"No, Pony. Let's go to your room and talk. Okay? You too, Soda."
They both followed me to their room. I asked Soda to come because I knew he was feeling this too. We were so afraid of losing Pony. All three of us sat down on the bed, and I started talking first.
"Pony, I don't even know how to say this. I'm afraid that we're going to lose you." I said.
"What does that have to do with my being gone so long?" Pony asked.
"It's like what you said a minute ago about how we can't stop the cancer from coming back. I was worried and angry because I can't protect you when you're out. That's why I want you home. I'm not mad because you fell asleep. I'm scared because of the cancer. I realized I can't protect you from it no matter what I do."
"You're mad because you're scared?"
"Yeah. I know I've been nagging you a lot too, and I'm sorry."
"Me too, Pony. I want to protect you from it, but I can't either." Soda said.
"I'm sorry I didn't yell at you too like you said you wanted." I said smiling.
"I didn't really want you too. I just want you to treat me normally. Don't be so scared of this disease that you can't treat me like a regular kid." Pony said.
"I'll try, but..."
"And, Darry, don't ever feel guilty for yelling at me or grounding me. If I get sick again, those things won't matter. I'll never think you don't care about me. Especially after tonight."
He had read my mind. I put my arms around my baby brother and held him tight. Soda did the same, and I knew this talk had made him feel better too.