Haley was sitting home alone for the third weekend in a row. Nathan had been really distant the past few weeks and it was starting to annoy Haley. She had tried to call him earlier that afternoon and he said he was busy but he would call her back later... that was 6 hours ago. She rolled over on to her stomach and grabbed her phone off the night stand, "Hey Luke it's Haley call me when you get this." Rolling her eyes she hung up her phone and put on her shoes.

When she got to the pool hall she saw Brooke and Peyton shooting pool together.

"Hey tutor girl." Brooke said, waving. She had obviously had a few drinks.

Peyton looked up from the shot she was lining up and waved, "Haley."

Haley walked over to them, "Hey."

Brooke looked around confused, "Where's Nathan?"

Haley shrugged, "Not sure."

Peyton raised her eyebrows, that sounded like Nathan when she was with him but she thought he had really cared for Haley, "Have you called him?"

"I talked to him a few hours ago but he said he was busy and he would call me back." Haley said, trying to not sound whiney.

"What a jerk." Brooke said before taking another sip of her beer.

Peyton took the beer out of her hand, "You've had enough." She turned to Haley, "Why don't you hang with us tonight? We're about to go to my house and watch movies and stuff."

Haley thought for a second and nodded, "Okay why not."

They were half way through Nightmare On Elm Street when Haley's cell phone rang, "Hello."

"Hey babe, watcha up to?"

"Watching a movie."

"Want some company?"

"Actually I'm at Peyton's."

"Oh, well okay." She could hear the disappointment in Nathan's voice.

"You never called me back this afternoon so I made other plans, sorry." She was sick of playing by his rules, it was always what was convenient for him. He would only call when he didn't have anything better to do and she didn't feel like a priority anymore.

"Yeah after practice some of the guys went and hung out at the arcade for a while and we just lost track of time, sorry."

She nodded, "Alright."

"Are you mad?"

"I'm fine, I just wondered why you never called me back."

"Sorry mom." He said in a sarcastic tone.

"I'll talk to you later Nathan." She said before flipping her phone closed.

"Haley?" Nathan still had his phone up to his ear, "Hello?" He looked at the screen and saw that the line had been disconnected, "Geez." He put his phone back in his pocket and took another sip of the beer sitting in front of him.

The next morning Haley headed to Karen's for her shift at the café.

"Hey Hales sorry I didn't call you last night, I didn't get your message until about 10 minutes ago." Lucas said when he walked in.

"It's okay, I hung out with Brooke and Peyton."

He nodded, he didn't know they were friends, ' I guess a lot has changed in the past few months.'

She put her apron on and started wiping off tables when Lucas started following her, "What's wrong?"

She plastered on a fake smile, "Nothing, I'm fine."

Lucas looked at her in a 'I've known you forever, give it up' look, "C'mon Hales."

She dropped the rag on the table and looked up at Luke, "It's Nathan, It's like he's avoiding me lately."

Lucas sat down at the table, "What do you mean?"

Haley sat down across from him and started fidgeting with the rag, "I hardly see him and he doesn't ever call when he says he will, I always end up with his leftover time."

"Tell him, he's a guy, we're stupid. I bet he doesn't even realize he's doing it." Lucas had let her down on this one, normally he has really good advice but this time she didn't think it was all that good. She wanted to know WHY he was acting so weird.

"I mean, I really thinks he cares a lot about you, he wouldn't do this to you on purpose, I bet he's just having a balancing problem."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well the basketball guys always give him a hard time for spending so much time with you and ditching them, so my guess is he's just trying to get them off his back, he's probably just overcompensating." Lucas explained.

"We'll he's ditched me three weekends in a row Lucas, I don't feel like I'm his girlfriend." Haley was tired of excuses, "If you care about someone you show it, he's not showing it."

"Talk to him about it."

Haley sighed and stood back up, "I have to go make a fresh pot of decaf."

Luke nodded, "I'm heading down to the river court." he said, tucking his basketball under his arm and grabbing his CD player, "See ya' Hales."

Haley waved and went back to work. When the bell above the door chimed she had her back to the door, "Good morning." She said before turning around to see Jake with a worried look on his face, "Jake are you okay?"

He just shook his head, he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Is it Jenny?"

He shook his head again, "It's Nathan."

"Is he okay? Where is he? Jake?" She asked, a wave of panic hitting her.

Jake took a deep breath, "He's in the hospital."

She sat down in the nearest chair, "Oh my gosh... What happened?" Her eyes were welling up with tears.

"He had been drinking, a lot of the guys had, and I guess he thought he could still drive..." He sat down and looked right into her teary eyes, his own starting to tear up, "Haley I thought somebody was giving him a ride or I would have given him a ride when I left. I left earlier than they did but I..."

"Will you take me to see him?"

Jake nodded and stood up.

The ride to the hospital was silent, Haley just sat there in shock, "How bad is it?" she finally asked.

"I don't know, Tim called me and I came to find you."

They walked in and Haley asked the lady at the desk for his room number and they told her he was in a room in the ER, she pointed them in the direction of the waiting room everyone was in. When they got to the waiting room she saw Tim sitting in a chair next to Whitey and Deb standing across the room with a cup of coffee. "Is he okay?" She asked, walking over to Deb.

She nodded, "I think their going to send him home in a few hours, he's just banged up a little, he's getting stitches right now. Dan's down at the police station talking to somebody about dropping charges."

Haley nodded, "Have you seen him?"

Deb nodded, "When I got here he was sitting in a room, he looked pretty rough, but they cleaned him up a little."

Talking to Deb and seeing that she didn't seem very worried made Haley feel better, "I'm gonna go check on Jake." She said before walking across the room to sit next to Jake, "You alright?"

He nodded, "I just feel responsible."

"You didn't do anything wrong Jake. You were smart to take yourself out of the situation, you have a daughter to think of, she's your priority." Haley assured him.

"I'm suppose to be their friend though."

After a while a nurse walked in causing everyone to tense up a bit..."Nathan Scott."

Deb and Haley stood up and went over to her, "How is he?" Deb asked.

"He's getting ready to head home now, you can go back and see him if you want Mrs. Scott."

Deb went back to Nathan's room where he was putting on his shoes, "How you doing?"

"I'm fine." He said, not looking up.

"You want me to drive you home or do you want Haley to?"

He looked up at her, "Haley's here?" worry written on his face.

She looked at him shocked, "Well yeah, she was worried. Tim and Whitey were here but they left a little while ago, Jake's here too."

"Who told her?" He asked, still stuck on Haley being there.

"I think Jake went by the café."

"Does she know why?" He asked.

"I would imagine Jake told her."

"How long has she been here?" He asked, trying to stand up.

Deb reached out and helped him up, "Carful... She's been here about an hour."

Lucas walked into the ER waiting room and saw his best friend, "Haley."

"Lucas." Haley greeted him with a hug.

"Is he okay?" He asked, pulling away from her embrace.

She tucked her hair behind her ears, "I don't know, I haven't seen him yet. Deb just went in, their sending him home."

"You okay?" He asked, worried about her.

She nodded, "I just can't believe he would do something like this."

"Lucas." Deb said when she walked back into the waiting room, "It was nice of you to come." She said patting him on the arm.

"Yeah well mom called me a little while ago."

"Nathan will be out in a few minutes."

"Is he okay?" Lucas asked.

Deb nodded, "He got a few stitches and he hurt his knee, they said he'll be sore for a little while but hopefully he'll be good as new in a few weeks."

After about five minutes Nathan entered the waiting room, "Nathan." Haley walked over to him and put an arm around him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Haley." A hint of annoyance in his voice.

Haley backed off a bit, hurt showing on her face, "I was worried about you."

"Yeah man, we all were." Lucas told him.

"Glad you're okay." Jake said.

"I'm fine, mom's gonna take me back to my apartment, I'll see you all at school Monday."

Haley's eyes filled with tears before she walked out of the waiting room.

Lucas looked at Nathan disapprovingly before following after Haley, "Hales wait up."

Haley stopped in the parking lot and turned around, looking at Luke with tear filled eyes, "What is going on with him? It's like I'm nobody. It didn't use to be like this. It's like he's a totally different person, like when he was on those steroids."

Lucas shook his head and hugged her, "I don't know Hales, maybe he just needs space."

"How much more space does he need? I never see him anymore, it's Saturday and he's saying 'I'll see you Monday.' What was that all about?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

"I just miss the old Nathan."

"Just wait until Monday and see how he acts."

"Whatever." She said, turning around only to remember that she had ridden with Jake.

"Want me to drive you home?" Lucas asked.

"I'll be fine." She said, a little annoyed at him.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later." He said before turning around and heading to his car.

Haley sat on the hood of Jake's car for a minute until he got there, "Need a ride?" He asked.

She nodded, "Do you mind?"

He shook his head, "Always willing to be the knight in shining armor." He said with a smile, "Where did Luke go?"

She shrugged, "To take another retard pill."

Jake chuckled for a second and then got serous, "You alright?"

She shook her head, "What's going on with him?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

They got into his car and he drove her back to Karen's, "I'm back." she said when she walked in.

Karen looked up from what she was doing and smiled sadly, "Hey how is he?"

"He's home now."

"Why aren't you with him? I can handle it here."

"I think he just wants to be alone for now, you know, get some rest." Haley said, putting her apron back on.

Karen nodded, "Well they need a coffee refill over there."

Nathan was sitting in his living room watching TV when someone knocked on the door, he got up to answer it and saw Tim and a few of the other guys standing there, "Hey man how ya feelin?" Tim asked as he shoved past Nathan.

"Like I ran into a pole last night."

"Well we brought stuff to lift your spirits." Randy said, holding up a bag of weed and some Acid strips.

"I brought mushrooms." Another guy said.

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Guys I'm on pain meds."

"Sweet where are they?" Tim asked.

"I can't do this stuff with you right now."

"You didn't mind last night." Randy chimed in.

"Well last night I was drunk and not fresh out of the ER Einstein."

"Lighten up man."

"Did They take your license away?" Tim asked.

Nathan nodded, "Until I turn 21."

"Guess you'll have to have princess perfect drive you everywhere." Randy said sarcastically.

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Knock it off you guys."

"Can I use this?" the guy with the mushrooms asked, holding up a pot.

Nathan grabbed the pot, "No man, will you get out of my kitchen."

"Geez Nate, we're just here to lift your spirits." Tim said.

Nathan slammed the pot on the counter, "WILL YOU GUYS STOP IT!"

All the guys looked at him shocked, "What the..." Tim started but stopped mid sentence, "Whatever dude."

"WAS THAT NOT A WAKE UP CALL FOR YOU LAST NIGHT? I've screwed up so much already, what if I can't play in the finals? What if I can't play at all? I mean have you seen my knee?" He pointed to his right knee which was in a brace, "What if I had hit another car and killed someone? Plus Haley, the only good thing I had going for me, Yeah I screwed that up. I wouldn't be surprised if she never want's to see me again."

"Man chill."

Nathan shook his head, "I don't know what the hell I was thinking." He shook his head, "We like to think we're so tough... I'm done." He said before walking out of the apartment.

Haley was sitting on her bed reading when she saw someone standing at her door, she looked up and saw Nathan, looking awful, "Nathan..."

"I'm sorry Hales, I'm so sorry." He said, burring his face in her shoulder.

She wrapped her arms around him and led him to the bed to sit down, "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, "I messed up Hales."

She put a hand on his face, "It's okay, you're alright, everything's fine."

He shook his head, "No I'm not alright, it's not alright." He looked at her for a second, "I'm more messed up than you think Haley."

It scared Haley that he was so upset, "Nathan what is it?"

"I wasn't just drinking last night..." He paused for a second and took a shaky breath, "I was using."

Haley sighed and closed her eyes, trying not to cry, "Why?"

"Because I'm stupid Haley, I'm just..." He sighed, "stupid."

She shook her head, "Nathan you're not..."

"No Hales I'm stupid, it was stupid. I knew better... I've known better all along but I didn't care."

"How long?" She asked, knowing that this had to be part of the reason he was acting so different.

"About a month, maybe a little longer... Tim and some of the guys were giving me grief about being whipped and never hanging out with them anymore so one night after a game I went with them to a party at Cory's and they had a lot of stuff there... I knew it was stupid then but I thought 'Oh I'll be fine, no harm in trying it once.' But once turned into twice and pretty soon I was doing it all the time." He looked at Haley, who was just taking it all in, she looked so shocked. The thought of hurting her was killing him but he hated keeping it from her, "I'm so sorry Haley."

She didn't say anything for a while, she was trying to gather her thoughts, when she did speak it was a soft, calm tone, "So why are you telling me now?"

"Because it wasn't fair to you, you deserve the truth, you deserve better than me. I've hated lying to you, I was scared if you saw that side of me you would hate me. But last night... that was a reality check for me. I'm not doing it anymore."

"You lied to me." She paused for a second, "More than once." She looked right into his eyes, "You made me feel like I wasn't important to you. I tried so hard to be understanding every time you didn't call or you would cancel a date on me. But you made me feel like crap if I had other plans when you would call out of the blue and want to do something, like last night."

Nathan looked confused, "Last night?"

"When you called me last night while I was at Peyton's watching a movie, you wanted to do something at 11:30 at night." Then it hit her... He didn't remember calling her, "Oh my gosh... You have no idea what I'm talking about."

Nathan tried to remember the events of the night before, He had been at the arcade and then went to Tim's brother's place with Tim, Randy, and Chris... He remembered getting drunk... "Hales I..."

She shook her head, "No Nathan save it."

"Haley please listen to me, I love you so much." That was the first time he had said that and he really did mean it, he wasn't just saying it to keep her from being mad at him, he knew that wouldn't work, but he wanted her to know that he did love her just in case she would never talk to him again.

"I think you should go." She said, standing up and walking to the door.

Nathan closed his eyes, trying to fight the tears, he stood up and made his way to the door. He paused in front of Haley and opened his mouth to say something but stopped, he sighed and silently walked out of the room.

Nathan sat in his apartment alone wondering what he could do to prove to Haley that he really was sorry and he really did love her. He grabbed a note pad and a pen and started writing...

Haley woke up the next morning with swollen eyes from crying all night. She got ready and headed out to her car for work, when she got outside she saw a bouquet of white roses and a note sitting on the hood of her car, she picked up the note, it was folded in half and her name was written on the outside, she opened it up and started reading...

Haley,

I don't know what to say to let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting you. I want you to know I didn't keep it from you to be all secretive I kept it from you because I kept it from everyone. But that's no excuse, there is no excuse. I'm telling you this because I want you to know how ashamed I am. I know I've lost every bit of your trust and I know I deserve it, I don't deserve you. But I want you to know I'm going to do everything I can to prove to you that I love you and I'll never do anything to hurt you again. Seeing the tears in your eyes, knowing I put them there, it ripped my heart out. Haley I swear to you I'll never make you cry again, I don't want you to ever feel the hurt that I've caused you. I'm going to prove to you that I love you Haley, I promise.

Nathan

Haley folded up the note and put it in her pocket, she scooped up the flowers and took them inside, hoping everything he had said in his note was true.

Nathan shifted uncomfortably in his seat in the waiting room, he had been sitting there for about fifteen minutes and was already uneasy, "Scott." A lady with a clipboard said at the doorway to the doctor's office.

Nathan stood up and followed her to an office. He waited there for a few minutes, looking around at plaques and pictures on the walls.

"Mr. Scott." The thirty something doctor said when he entered the office, closing the door behind him.

When Haley got to the café Jake was sitting at a table looking less than chipper, "You look like somebody killed your dog." She said, sitting down at the table.

"Nathan quit the team this morning." Jake said solemnly.

Haley sighed, "Maybe it's for the best, it may not be forever."

Jake put his face in his hands and sighed, "I should have been a better friend for him."

Haley shook her head, "Quit blaming yourself, his mistakes are not your fault. Everyone makes their own decisions. There was nothing anybody could do, he's so darn stubborn." She tried to comfort him, "You're Jenny's dad, not the team's. You can't look after everybody."

Lucas walked into the café and headed for the counter, not noticing Haley sitting at the table with the Jake, "Mom can I get a coffee and a muffin to go please? I have to go pick Nathan up at the doctor."

"Already trying to get ready for the playoffs?" Karen asked with a smile, "Go easy on him Lucas." She handed him a bag and a cup of coffee.

Lucas shook his head, "No he quit the team, he wouldn't tell me why he was going to the clinic, I think his knee was bothering him pretty bad last night though because he was walking funny this morning."

"Well tell him to take it easy."

Lucas nodded and turned to walk out, but not before noticing Haley staring at him, "I'm calling you later." He said pointing at her.

Nathan walked out of the office and slid into the front seat of Luke's truck, "hey man, he give you something for the knee?" Luke asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Nathan didn't say anything for a second, "I uh... I didn't go for that."

Lucas looked at him, worried, "You okay?"

Nathan kept his eyes glued to the road in front of him, "I will be."

Lucas pulled over and turned to face Nathan, "Okay what is going on with you? You've been slacking off at practice, you practically ignore Haley, what's the deal?"

Nathan, eyes still glued to the road, took a deep breath, "Drugs, alcohol... I'm screwed up Luke." He said, finally looking at his big brother.

Lucas sighed and put a comforting hand on Nathan's shoulder, "How long?"

Nathan looked down at his hands, "About 5 or 6 weeks... I quit drinking when I started dating Hales but a few weeks ago I went to an after party Chris threw after a game and they had coke and weed everywhere... They kept offering and I guess I got drunk enough to say 'sure what the hell.' and then a few nights later at Tim's... same thing until pretty soon it was almost every night. I started ditching Hales because they would always be like 'You're so whipped, are you married yet?' and... I don't know, I'm a coward." He looked up at Lucas, "I screwed it up with her. But it's my own fault! I'm a Jack Ass for treating her like that."

Lucas sat there trying to process all the information he had just gotten from his little brother, it was weird for Lucas to think of how easy it was to throw everything away so fast, "So what are you doing?"

"I talked to Dr. Perry about A.A. programs around here, I quit the team, Now all I have to do is win Haley back."

"Any ideas?"

you knew it would hurt me

to know that you lied

it felt like at that moment

a part of me died

it's one thirty A.M.

I can't seem to sleep

part of me wants

to just sit here and weep

it hurts me to think you have secrets from me

I thought in relationships

communicating was key

there are so many things that need to be said

But I can't think of what

and I can't clear my head

you knew how I felt about lying and such

and I think that's what makes it hurt so much

(Someone I know wrote that when something like this happened to her)

Haley clicked SAVE and closed her computer, she took the piece of paper from the printer and folded it up. Looking down at a picture of her and Nathan in a frame on her desk she sighed and walked out of her room.

When she got to Nathan's apartment complex she saw Luke's car, rolling her eyes she thought about turning around and going home, did he really need yo read her note anyway?

AN: Well what do you think?? I'll be updating again soon! REVIEW PLEASE!!!