The dark lord Sauron sat upon his throne, brooding over his misfortune at the hands of Men, Elves and those pesky little Dwarves. An old copy of the Orc Quarterly lay forgotten on his lap.
How can I ensnare them? he wondered to himself. I know! I'll send them a gift, make it enticing to them, maybe even giving them some sort of power! Yes, yes, they'll love that. He chuckled to himself as he thought, And within that gift, I'll leave a back door. One that I can hack into at any time, and take control of them! Sheer genius, Sauron! Night school is really paying off!
But what form should this gift take? He sat for a few moments, paging through the Orc Quarterly, not really reading it. So many damn Ads in this thing these days, he thought. No good articles anymore. But he stopped paging when he came across a full page advertisement from Gruck's Gold and Jewels. That was it!, he thought. Jewellery! No-one can resist jewellery!
He smiled to himself as he pondered what kind of jewellery it should be. Maybe a nice necklace? How about arm-bands? Bangles? Tiaras? No, no, that's just silly.
"I've got it!" he said aloud, his voice echoing about the empty chamber. "Toe-rings!"
But he hesitated. Something didn't quite ring true. 'Ring true', he thought, laughing at his own joke. No, Toe-rings isn't quite right. Perhaps if I remove the 'toe' from that...
He leapt up from his throne, realizing he was on a winner.
All I need now is a good poem. Something catchy that'll keep 'em guessing for centuries...
He went to his desk and started writing in large, bold letters, the ink of his quill etching into the thick paper he liked to use. His tongue poked out the side of his mouth, as he smiled to himself, scribbling. Occasionally his lips would move as he re-read the passages to himself.
But a dark, disturbing odour permeated the chamber, distracting him from his evil purpose. Oh damn, he thought, I forgot to flush. And he rushed over to his throne, pulling the chain dangling overhead. Sauron watched the bubbling water swirl down, his mind lost in the spectacle and his current task forgotten.
Over on his desk, the parchment read, "One Earring to Rule Them All, One Earring to Find Them..."