Disclaimers: The same. It's always the same. Until the movie, that is.

Notes: I told you guys I wasn't done with this. I figured while it was an interesting challenge to take the majority of the story from Kenshin's point of view, the thought of Kaoru's reactions began to grow on me and I couldn't resist. So please enjoy this updated version with the thoughts of our favorite dojo instructor!

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Contemplation

by Sean Montgomery

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Her body was tingling.

That was the only way she could really describe it. When she returned to her room a blush appeared that refused to leave. She could still feel the warmth of his hand on her face. Even when she tried to calm down and go to sleep, her mind refused to give in.

It was one of the rare moments when Kaoru felt like squealing.

It was uncharacteristic of her. She knew that. Then again, she had never felt this way before, not since she had told herself that she always wanted to be by Kenshin's side, never mind the fact that he had fallen into her arms moments later from his wounds. The care that had taken place was with something different than a hidden crush.

There was that feeling again...

Kaoru rolled over on her futon and stared at the ceiling. He had called her 'Kaoru'. Just Kaoru. No Miss. No 'I-know-you're-still-young-but-I'm-going-to-honor-you-anyway.' He said her name. As if they were courting or something. The blush intensified. They weren't courting. No point in making a big deal out of something that wasn't. The feeling refused to leave, though.

Why had he been so bold, anyway? Never before had he made such a gesture to her, besides the night he left for Kyoto. He was always so reserved, so quiet, so dense. What made him suddenly feel as though he needed to touch her?

Not like he violated her or anything...

She retraced the path from her hand to her arm, over her shoulder and to her cheek. Her body shivered with the memory, her face, arm and hand warming. He had been so gentle, too. Nothing in his eyes told her that he was the same person. He needed to know for himself that she was there. He wasn't timid, but placed his hand firmly, yet gently, on her cheek. He looked into her eyes, almost searching like a man dying of thirst.

She pushed the thought of dying out of her head quickly. There was no need to think of such things while he remained two rooms away fighting to recover from his wounds. She needed to be positive. She needed to be ready for him when he needed something tomorrow.

She needed to breathe.

Tightening her yukata, she stood and opened her door, walking out to the awning and sitting on the steps. She took a few deeps breaths, trying to calm herself and remind her body that it was evening and time to sleep. She observed the crickets chirping in the night, the gentle wind that blew every now and then. Anything to get herself to sleep. She had to cancel classes tomorrow, she realized suddenly. She needed to take care of Kenshin while he was injured.

So much for keeping calm.

"This is pathetic!" she thought, her hand covering her face. "I've had an exhausting week! I should be tired enough to fall asleep immediately!"

She stubbornly turned to the room where Kenshin was sleeping.

"Kenshin no baka. Making me stay up all night just because he chose now of all times to acknowledge my feelings."

Her heart fluttered at the thought. He was acknowledging her feelings, maybe because he had feelings of his own?

"Argh!"

Her face fell in her hands. With a frustrated sigh, she resolved that she needed to think things through so that everything would seem in place. Maybe then her body would give in to her weariness. She took a deep breath of the chilled night air. She slowly let it out.

Kaoru knew she had felt something for Kenshin when he brought justice to Gohei. Admiration was the first thing that came to mind. She knew it was that. After all, she had only known him for a few hours at that point. A sudden crush or love at first sight was always ridiculous to her. Attraction came next. That he could move so swiftly at his age and be willing to help a defenseless person as young as she was could be nothing short of attraction. Not in the romantic sense, but of how valiant he was. Nobility was third. Fighting for a cause that he would willingly give his life for, not backing down but finding an alternative to death... few people could accomplish that in their lifetimes. Selfless was fourth. He never did complain about his chores, nor did he ever ask her to cook dinner for a change. Either because he was selfless or because he believed the rumors that her cooking was deadly...

The night he said goodbye came to mind. She remembered how devastated she was when he held her in his arms, whispering a final 'Sayonara' before turning in the darkness, his form slowly fading to nothing as he continued to move forward, never looking back. If Megumi hadn't of brought her back she might have stayed in bed for days. But why would she have?

"I didn't want him to leave. The thought was too painful. Because I..."

Her eyes widened as the thought dawned on her.

"Was I in love with him then? It couldn't be. He was only here for a few months!"

"Love works in strange ways." her mother had once told her. Could it be that she hadn't realized that she was in love with him then?

"Of course I didn't! I thought it was admiration! But that can't be. I didn't know him well enough then. I couldn't have been in love. It had to be attraction, then. Something about who he was that made me want to discover more."

Well, at least that was done with.

She continued to think harder, resolved to get her thoughts sorted out before she tried to sleep again. Then attraction must have been what lead her to Kyoto. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted him to stay. She wanted to learn more about who he was. Why he was so quiet, so reserved.

"It is time I told you the tale... of Hitokiri Battousai... and of Himura Tomoe... the person I killed... with my own hands."

Her thoughts had been so jumbled that evening. He poured his heart and soul out to people who had been there in his hardest times. His past, written in blood and stained through eternity, made her wonder what he would think of remarrying. He had been so committed to Tomoe, genuinely falling in love with her and proposing to her and marrying her. Her death was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

He was only fifteen at the time.

Maybe how she felt when he left was how he felt when Tomoe died. Helpless, alone, and full of fear that more could go wrong. Only, she got to see him again.

Tomoe would never been seen again on this earth.

Part of his heart would forever be closed to whomever would claim the rest.

She remembered the day on Enishi's island. The assured look on his face to know that she was there before him had warmed her. He had willingly fallen into her arms.

Then again, he was fainting from the fight...

But hadn't he touched her face so boldly just a few hours ago? Willingly? Even affectionately?

Something was there. Something had to be. He wouldn't just go and touch her face like that without permission. Unless Enishi's revenge was deeper than she knew, she was sure of it.

So then was she in love with him, or not?

"Kaoru?"

Her head perked up at the sound of his voice. She looked around, expecting to find him stubbornly standing beside her, face pail and ready to faint. Instead she was alone on the awning, just as she always had been. Maybe she imagined it then.

"Kaoru?"

She heard it that time. It was louder. She stood and walked over to his room, sliding the door open. He hadn't moved, but he was intently staring at the door.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

"Are you not able to sleep?"

She smiled slightly. There was that selfless nature again. "I wasn't able to for a while, but I think I can now."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can get out of my thoughts for a while so I can sleep." she thought. "The only thing you can do is get to sleep yourself. You need to get better."

"You were sighing."

"I was calming myself down. I needed to get over the last few weeks."

Kenshin's eyes darkened momentarily. He raised his uninjured arm. "Could you come here for a moment?"

Kaoru stepped closer, seeing the look in his eyes and wondering what it meant. When she kneeled next to the futon, he took her hand from its place on her knee. He held it gently, its coolness melting in his warm hands. "I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I just needed to be sure... sometimes it's too real..."

"What's too real?"

His mouth opened and closed, trying to find the words while he stared at her hand. He closed his eyes, then sighed. "Maybe I'll tell you one day. For now I think we both need rest." He let go of her hand.

"Kenshin?"

His eyes opened and looked at her. All she could do for a moment was look back. "I hope you feel better soon."

He gave her the slightest of smiles. She felt her heart flip. "I'm already beginning to. Good-night, Kaoru."

"Good-night." she said. She stood and walked back to the shoji door, sliding it open, then shut. Outside, she took another deep breath before going to her room. Once inside, she laid down on her futon, letting her mind wander with its last few thoughts. He had called her 'Kaoru', again. He had touched her hand again, effectively heating it. The answer to her question came back when she rolled over and made herself ready to sleep.

The moment Kamiya Kaoru knew for sure she was in love with Himura Kenshin was the moment when he called her by her name.

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Fluff. Fluff. Dear Lord, I hope this is in character. These are all the thoughts that have stemmed from a mind that has never known romance. I tried to put myself in Kaoru's situation and went from there, and ended up with a mere three pages that is kinda close to four. It's a start, though. Expect more of these in the near future.

Also, I am going to get the next chapter of 'Reflections' out soon, I swear. The chapter actually took a new turn, so now I'm exploring the possibilities with the added characters... oops! Said too much already. :)

See you next chapter!