The Secret Life of Kardis Aka Evil Lesbian Demon Goddess of Madness and
Destruction
Disclaimer: I don't own Lodoss or Marmo or Kardis or Narse, but I have lots
of chigger bites right now :(
Day 439,746
Death has gotten too complex. I'm going to spend a couple days living like
my ancestors did thousands of years ago. All–out backyard camping!!!!!
Check list:
Food (can't forget that)
Tent
Sleeping bag
Matches (ooo fire!)
More food (what I like to eat)
Soda (I'm a coke addict, what can I say?)
Off (bye bye buggy!)
Clothes
TV
Really long extension cord
A short while later
I realized that my camping list wasn't exactly old-fashion... so I fixed it!
Revised check list
Seasonings to cook game
Rope to help fix lean-to
Gunny sack to sleep in
Flint
Off (no way I'm leaving that at home!)
Leaves/vines to wear
Song Book
Later on
I made an outfit out of leaves and vines. I wrapped myself up and it's
starting to itch. And these clothes are terribly out of fashion. Green is
totally not 'in' right now. And the leaves, ohh they're horrible! They make
me look fat. I will never pick up some cute chick wearing this utter
fashion folly!
After a time
I tried to use makealeanto.com's helpful instructions on how to make a lean
to, but it doesn't lean. It doesn't even stand up. Need new dwelling.
After another but not quite so long time
Look at my creation! Makealeanto.com wasn't very helpful, so I went to
easycampingdwellings.com and now I have a lovely... I have no clue what
you'd call it but it's my dwelling and I'm proud of it!
Even Later
I'm settled in. Just me and nature.
After 6 marks of the candle
DIE MOSQUITOES!!!!! I have a can of Off and I'm not afraid to use it!
Mwahahaha!!!!
Later-er
I tried to catch some game for dinner. I tried to use my Magic Purple
Bubbles of Death!! (dun dun dun dun!) but that only succeeded in
disintegrating them leaving very little to eat. Must try new approach...
Alas, even later
I have triumphed! I caught my dinner. It took two hours, a large pointy
stick, three pieces of gum, and the help of a friendly snake. (The snake
caught the rabbit and strangled it. Then it graciously allowed me to
disintegrate it with my Magic Purple Bubbles of Death! (dun dun dun dun)
Then I took the rabbit skewered it and called myself triumphant.)
Later that day
How does flint work?
Believe it or not even later
Well that took forever. I had no clue what I was doing, I guess back in the
good old Hell Scouts I didn't pay very much attention. First I tried
gathering some wood. That was the easy part. (If you exclude my 14
splinters and sore back. Some of those pieces were heavy!) Then I tried
putting the sticks in some building type shape. I couldn't remember what
they taught us so I improvised and tried making a stick Coliseum, but I
think all the empty space inside it was a problem. Then I tried to make the
Leaning Tower of Pisa. That one lit fire, but fell over and went out. So
then I took great pains and make an exact replica of my house using sticks.
It took lots of time, but at least I have a wonderful fire! Now to start
cooking. How do you cook rabbit?
Still later
Roast Rabbit is DISGUSTING!!!
After a time
What did ancient people do for fun? I am so incredibly bored!!!!
A while later
Kumbaya, my Lord! (ME!!!)
After a bit
There is a bee in my... dwelling and I am perfectly content to sit out here
while until it decides to leave. Who am I to kick out a mean, stinging
monster?
Shortly after dark
Ouch the ground is hard, how's a person supposed to sleep like this? I must
have built my... dwelling on a rather large patch of rocks.
That evening
Waaaaa!!!! Waaaa!!! There's ants in my gunny sack.
Later-er-er
How did my ancestors deal with this: Boredom, bad food, bugs, and Byzantine
rocks?
The last later
Screw ancestors, I'm going inside.
Destruction
Disclaimer: I don't own Lodoss or Marmo or Kardis or Narse, but I have lots
of chigger bites right now :(
Day 439,746
Death has gotten too complex. I'm going to spend a couple days living like
my ancestors did thousands of years ago. All–out backyard camping!!!!!
Check list:
Food (can't forget that)
Tent
Sleeping bag
Matches (ooo fire!)
More food (what I like to eat)
Soda (I'm a coke addict, what can I say?)
Off (bye bye buggy!)
Clothes
TV
Really long extension cord
A short while later
I realized that my camping list wasn't exactly old-fashion... so I fixed it!
Revised check list
Seasonings to cook game
Rope to help fix lean-to
Gunny sack to sleep in
Flint
Off (no way I'm leaving that at home!)
Leaves/vines to wear
Song Book
Later on
I made an outfit out of leaves and vines. I wrapped myself up and it's
starting to itch. And these clothes are terribly out of fashion. Green is
totally not 'in' right now. And the leaves, ohh they're horrible! They make
me look fat. I will never pick up some cute chick wearing this utter
fashion folly!
After a time
I tried to use makealeanto.com's helpful instructions on how to make a lean
to, but it doesn't lean. It doesn't even stand up. Need new dwelling.
After another but not quite so long time
Look at my creation! Makealeanto.com wasn't very helpful, so I went to
easycampingdwellings.com and now I have a lovely... I have no clue what
you'd call it but it's my dwelling and I'm proud of it!
Even Later
I'm settled in. Just me and nature.
After 6 marks of the candle
DIE MOSQUITOES!!!!! I have a can of Off and I'm not afraid to use it!
Mwahahaha!!!!
Later-er
I tried to catch some game for dinner. I tried to use my Magic Purple
Bubbles of Death!! (dun dun dun dun!) but that only succeeded in
disintegrating them leaving very little to eat. Must try new approach...
Alas, even later
I have triumphed! I caught my dinner. It took two hours, a large pointy
stick, three pieces of gum, and the help of a friendly snake. (The snake
caught the rabbit and strangled it. Then it graciously allowed me to
disintegrate it with my Magic Purple Bubbles of Death! (dun dun dun dun)
Then I took the rabbit skewered it and called myself triumphant.)
Later that day
How does flint work?
Believe it or not even later
Well that took forever. I had no clue what I was doing, I guess back in the
good old Hell Scouts I didn't pay very much attention. First I tried
gathering some wood. That was the easy part. (If you exclude my 14
splinters and sore back. Some of those pieces were heavy!) Then I tried
putting the sticks in some building type shape. I couldn't remember what
they taught us so I improvised and tried making a stick Coliseum, but I
think all the empty space inside it was a problem. Then I tried to make the
Leaning Tower of Pisa. That one lit fire, but fell over and went out. So
then I took great pains and make an exact replica of my house using sticks.
It took lots of time, but at least I have a wonderful fire! Now to start
cooking. How do you cook rabbit?
Still later
Roast Rabbit is DISGUSTING!!!
After a time
What did ancient people do for fun? I am so incredibly bored!!!!
A while later
Kumbaya, my Lord! (ME!!!)
After a bit
There is a bee in my... dwelling and I am perfectly content to sit out here
while until it decides to leave. Who am I to kick out a mean, stinging
monster?
Shortly after dark
Ouch the ground is hard, how's a person supposed to sleep like this? I must
have built my... dwelling on a rather large patch of rocks.
That evening
Waaaaa!!!! Waaaa!!! There's ants in my gunny sack.
Later-er-er
How did my ancestors deal with this: Boredom, bad food, bugs, and Byzantine
rocks?
The last later
Screw ancestors, I'm going inside.