CHAPTER SEVEN- Showdown
MIDDLE OF NOWHERE- 2:35 A.M.
Sly, Andy, Casey and Veronica were now in a white sedan from either the 70's or 80's heading for their destination. "It's good to see that you've finally got your own set of wheels," Andy, who was driving the car, says to Sly.
"Yeah," says Sly. "I got tired of having to get that fat ass Murray to take me everywhere."
"What kind of car is this?" Andy asks.
"An '82 Plymouth Mariner," Sly replies. "Rides great, doesn't she?"
"Yep," said Andy. "I've never heard of a Mariner."
"That's because they were only sold in France, Uruguay and Zimbabwe," says Sly. "The reason they call it a Mariner is because it can also be used as a boat. That's part of what attracted me to it."
"Wow," says Andy. "That's cool. Maybe some day, you can show me how this baby handles in water."
"Sure thing," says Sly.
Meanwhile, both Casey and Veronica were asleep in the back seat.
CLEARWATER, FLORIDA- 3:08 A.M.
Oliver and Todd now arrive at the International Diamond building... or so they think. As the two get out of their car, they are surprised to find the place lit up bright and filled with people.
They look at each other, confused. Over the door was a large neon sign reading "Pizza Pete's 24-Hour Bar and Restaurant."
"I sure hope we have the right place," said the swan.
A couple emerges from the building. Oliver approaches the two. "Excuse me, but I may require your assistance," the swan says to the two in his polite English manner.
"Yes?" said the male of the couple, a rabbit.
"Is this 3696 Ulmerton Road?" he asks, pointing at the building.
"Yes it is," replies the stranger.
"I don't understand," Oliver then said, puzzled. "Isn't this supposed to be the location of the International Diamond Center?"
"Oh, that closed up months ago," responded the female, a squirrel. "The moved some place in Europe, I believe."
"I see...." Oliver said. "Thank you for your help, kind strangers."
"No problem," said the rabbit. The two now leave.
"What now?" asked his turtle companion.
"We're going inside," the swan said.
"But why?" Todd asked. "This isn't the place. Our plan is shot."
"You are wrong, my friend," Oliver said, his eyes widening. "This situation is perfect. Our little thieves will be in such a state of shock over the fact that their precious diamond center is now a restaurant, it should be child's play to nab them."
"I don't know about this," said Todd.
"Trust me, Todd," said the swan. "This plan is fool-proof. Now come." The bird starts for the door.
"But I'm not even hungry," the turtle says. He then shrugs and follows his friend inside.
Sly, Andy and company soon arrive at the site of what they thought would be a bonanza of jewel-encrusted riches. However, their dreams of thieving glory would soon be deflated when they exit Sly's car to find the International Diamond building lit up bright with colorful neon signs.
"What the hell?" said Andy, staring up at the "Pizza Pete's" flashing sign.
"Are you sure we're at the right place?" Sly said.
"Yeah," Andy replied. "I've been here millions of times."
"And when was the last one?" Sly asked.
"Two months ago," Andy said.
"So, in the space of two months, this place has gone from being a diamond center to a pizza bar?" asked Sly. "I wonder what happened."
"Yeah," said Andy. "Let's go inside. I'm starving."
"But all our thieving plans have been ruined," Casey said disappointedly.
"Don't worry about that, kid," Andy said reassuringly. "We'll come up with something."
"OK," said the bird. The four thieves now walk into the brightly-lit restaurant.
The place was colorful, bright and filled with young, good-looking animals. Rock-and-roll music filled the restaurant.
Sly and friends were greeted by the hostess, a beautiful young kangaroo.
"So, how many will it be?" she asked.
"Four, please," Andy answered.
"OK. Follow me," the kangaroo said cheerfully, grabbing four menus. They would be led to a table toward the back.
Meanwhile, our two heroes Todd and Oliver had been watching them come in. "They're here," the swan said softly.
"Now what?" asked the turtle after finishing off a slice of pizza.
"I'm going to go confront them," Oliver says. "You stay here in case I need backup."
"OK," said the turtle. "Hope you know what you're doing."
Oliver ignores that comment, gets up and heads toward the table of thieves.
The kangaroo hostess hands Sly and each of his friends a menu. "Someone will be with you shortly," she says. She then leaves.
"Sure glad we didn't bring Murray along," Sly said, opening his menu.
"Yeah," said Andy, reading from his menu. Just then, a tall, long-necked shadow forms behind him. "I don't think believe we're quite ready to order yet," he says, thinking it's a waiter. Andy goes back to reading the menu, but the figure remains behind him. "I said, we're not quite ready to-"
"Andy Clark, so we meet at last," the swan says, placing a feathery hand on the shoulder of the raccoon. Andy suddenly turns around. He actually recognizes the large avian.
"Oh my gosh," he says. "It's you. Sandra's new boyfriend."
"Yes, that would be I," the swan says, grinning.
"I still can't believe Sandra left me for a SWAN," Andy says, looking at the huge bird.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Oliver asked.
"Oh nothing," Andy said casually. "So, what brings you here?"
"I've come to put you and your little friends here behind bars," the swan announced.
"Huh?" Andy said, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were a cop. I thought you were a musician."
"Well, I used to write songs for a living, but now I'm in the crime-busting business, and I'm going to bring you and all your filthy, thieving friends to justice," Oliver says.
"Who the fuck is this?" Sly asks.
"I'm glad you asked, Cooper," said the swan. "I am Oliver Featherstone, the world-famous crime fighter."
"Ooh, I'm so afraid," Andy said, mockingly. "A swan is going to bring me in. You going to stop me with your magic swan powers?" He takes a piece of bread out of a basket on the table and tosses it at the bird.
"I'd be careful, Andy," Casey says. "Swans have been known to be quite aggressive."
"Where did you hear that one?" Andy asked, chuckling.
Oliver's eyes narrow and he lets out an angry hiss. The swan then lifts Andy up by the shirt and effortlessly hurls him into the table, knocking it to the floor, spilling and shattering the glasses of ice water that were placed on it, and knocking down Sly and his friends.
"You're asking for trouble now, swan," said Sly as he rose angrily to his feet and picked up his cane.
"You're no match for me, Cooper," the swan snapped. "I could kill you with one blow of my wing."
The kangaroo hostess now returns to the table. "I'm going to have to ask you folks to leave," she says.
Andy gets up and brushes himself off. "I'm terribly sorry about all this, ma'am."
"Let's get out of here," says Sly.
The four thieves then run for the door. Oliver takes a small radio out of his pocket and speaks into it. "Todd, block the front door!"
"Sure thing," the turtle responds. He goes over to the main entrance of the restaurant, lays down on the floor, and tucks his arms, legs and head into his shell.
As Andy is running out of the restaurant, he trips over the turtle's shell, crashing into the heaving glass door and falling to the floor, his muzzle smashed and bloody. "Son of a bitch...." he says, coughing up some blood and a couple of teeth.
"Andy!" Casey says as he helps the raccoon to his feet.
"Don't worry about me, kid," he says, wiping some of the blood from his face.
"There's no place to run now," Oliver says, approaching them.
"You're going to pay for hurting my big brother!" Casey says angrily.
"What are you going to do about it, little birdie?" The swan said as he grabbed the cardinal by his shirt and lifted him to his feet.
The smaller bird struggles to get free, eventually slipping out of his shirt. He then starts to run.
"We'd better get lost," said Sly.
Andy nods his head in agreement, his face still bloody. He, Sly and Casey all race outside, heading for Sly's car. However, Veronica stays behind, staring admiringly at Oliver.
Sly runs back in to get her. "Come on!" he yells to the blue jay.
"That swan can really fill out a pair of Levis," Veronica says breathlessly. "And those boots, and that accent...." She sighs.
"Can't you ever think about anything besided your hormones?" Sly asks, grabbing her and pulling her out the door. Veronica blows the swan a kiss as they exit.
Inspector Carmelita Fox, who had been in the restaurant the whole time, now approaches Oliver, enranged.
"You just stood there and let them get away!" she shouted.
"Excuse me?" he says, puzzled.
"I was told you were a top-notch crime-buster, but it appears you're nothing but a bain, self-centered idiot!"
"And you are?" Oliver asks.
"Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox, of Interpol Paris division," the fox responds. "I've been trailing after you this whole time."
"Really?" said Oliver. "And why didn't you try and contact me? I have no problem working with law enforcement."
"Because, well...." says Carmelita. "That Cooper has been eluding me for years, and I had hoped that you would be able to bring him down."
"And then you would swoop in and take all the credit for the bust?" the swan said, irritated.
"Uh...." Carmelita said nervously.
"Never mind," Oliver said. "There is still a chance we can catch them. They're going to have to go to a hospital to take care of their friend's injured snout, and we'll be there waiting when they get there."
"That doesn't sound like a bad plan," Carmelita said. "We'd better hurry."
"Uh, Oliver," Todd, his turtle assistant, says.
"Yes," says the swan.
"I think you'd better look down," said the turtle.
"Huh? I don't have time for this foolishness."
"Look down at your feet," Todd demanded.
The swan looks down. The toes of his black leather boots are covered with large, white, foul-smelling globs. "Bloody hell!" he says. "That little fuck decided to relieve himself while I was holding him. These are finest English leather crime-fighting boots! He's going to pay to have these cleaned!"
"Enough of this idiocy!" Carmelita says, heading out the door. "I'm going to get that Cooper and his friends."
Carmelita gets in her car and starts it up. She drives out of the parking lot- and into the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic. This traffic jam stretched for miles. It would be pretty much impossible to catch up with Cooper and company.
"Fuck!" she screams. "We'll never be able to catch them now, all because of those two idiots."
"Hey, it wasn't my idea to follow those two," says her partner, who had been in the car the whole time.
Carmelita just glares at her angrily as they sit helplessly in traffic.
Meanwhile, Sly and friends had already made it to the hospital and had gotten Andy's injury tended to.
Casey was giggling uncontrollably as they made their way back to Sly's car. "What?" asked Sly.
"Nothing," said the cardinal.
"There must be something," the raccoon says.
"No," says Casey.
"You crapped on that swan's shoes, didn't you?" said Andy. "I thought I told you about that."
The bird nodded, continuing to laugh.
"Crude yet affective," Sly said as they all got in the car. "I think I'm going to enjoy having you around, Casey." The car starts and they drive off for home, a little hurt, yet still happy.
THE END
MIDDLE OF NOWHERE- 2:35 A.M.
Sly, Andy, Casey and Veronica were now in a white sedan from either the 70's or 80's heading for their destination. "It's good to see that you've finally got your own set of wheels," Andy, who was driving the car, says to Sly.
"Yeah," says Sly. "I got tired of having to get that fat ass Murray to take me everywhere."
"What kind of car is this?" Andy asks.
"An '82 Plymouth Mariner," Sly replies. "Rides great, doesn't she?"
"Yep," said Andy. "I've never heard of a Mariner."
"That's because they were only sold in France, Uruguay and Zimbabwe," says Sly. "The reason they call it a Mariner is because it can also be used as a boat. That's part of what attracted me to it."
"Wow," says Andy. "That's cool. Maybe some day, you can show me how this baby handles in water."
"Sure thing," says Sly.
Meanwhile, both Casey and Veronica were asleep in the back seat.
CLEARWATER, FLORIDA- 3:08 A.M.
Oliver and Todd now arrive at the International Diamond building... or so they think. As the two get out of their car, they are surprised to find the place lit up bright and filled with people.
They look at each other, confused. Over the door was a large neon sign reading "Pizza Pete's 24-Hour Bar and Restaurant."
"I sure hope we have the right place," said the swan.
A couple emerges from the building. Oliver approaches the two. "Excuse me, but I may require your assistance," the swan says to the two in his polite English manner.
"Yes?" said the male of the couple, a rabbit.
"Is this 3696 Ulmerton Road?" he asks, pointing at the building.
"Yes it is," replies the stranger.
"I don't understand," Oliver then said, puzzled. "Isn't this supposed to be the location of the International Diamond Center?"
"Oh, that closed up months ago," responded the female, a squirrel. "The moved some place in Europe, I believe."
"I see...." Oliver said. "Thank you for your help, kind strangers."
"No problem," said the rabbit. The two now leave.
"What now?" asked his turtle companion.
"We're going inside," the swan said.
"But why?" Todd asked. "This isn't the place. Our plan is shot."
"You are wrong, my friend," Oliver said, his eyes widening. "This situation is perfect. Our little thieves will be in such a state of shock over the fact that their precious diamond center is now a restaurant, it should be child's play to nab them."
"I don't know about this," said Todd.
"Trust me, Todd," said the swan. "This plan is fool-proof. Now come." The bird starts for the door.
"But I'm not even hungry," the turtle says. He then shrugs and follows his friend inside.
Sly, Andy and company soon arrive at the site of what they thought would be a bonanza of jewel-encrusted riches. However, their dreams of thieving glory would soon be deflated when they exit Sly's car to find the International Diamond building lit up bright with colorful neon signs.
"What the hell?" said Andy, staring up at the "Pizza Pete's" flashing sign.
"Are you sure we're at the right place?" Sly said.
"Yeah," Andy replied. "I've been here millions of times."
"And when was the last one?" Sly asked.
"Two months ago," Andy said.
"So, in the space of two months, this place has gone from being a diamond center to a pizza bar?" asked Sly. "I wonder what happened."
"Yeah," said Andy. "Let's go inside. I'm starving."
"But all our thieving plans have been ruined," Casey said disappointedly.
"Don't worry about that, kid," Andy said reassuringly. "We'll come up with something."
"OK," said the bird. The four thieves now walk into the brightly-lit restaurant.
The place was colorful, bright and filled with young, good-looking animals. Rock-and-roll music filled the restaurant.
Sly and friends were greeted by the hostess, a beautiful young kangaroo.
"So, how many will it be?" she asked.
"Four, please," Andy answered.
"OK. Follow me," the kangaroo said cheerfully, grabbing four menus. They would be led to a table toward the back.
Meanwhile, our two heroes Todd and Oliver had been watching them come in. "They're here," the swan said softly.
"Now what?" asked the turtle after finishing off a slice of pizza.
"I'm going to go confront them," Oliver says. "You stay here in case I need backup."
"OK," said the turtle. "Hope you know what you're doing."
Oliver ignores that comment, gets up and heads toward the table of thieves.
The kangaroo hostess hands Sly and each of his friends a menu. "Someone will be with you shortly," she says. She then leaves.
"Sure glad we didn't bring Murray along," Sly said, opening his menu.
"Yeah," said Andy, reading from his menu. Just then, a tall, long-necked shadow forms behind him. "I don't think believe we're quite ready to order yet," he says, thinking it's a waiter. Andy goes back to reading the menu, but the figure remains behind him. "I said, we're not quite ready to-"
"Andy Clark, so we meet at last," the swan says, placing a feathery hand on the shoulder of the raccoon. Andy suddenly turns around. He actually recognizes the large avian.
"Oh my gosh," he says. "It's you. Sandra's new boyfriend."
"Yes, that would be I," the swan says, grinning.
"I still can't believe Sandra left me for a SWAN," Andy says, looking at the huge bird.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Oliver asked.
"Oh nothing," Andy said casually. "So, what brings you here?"
"I've come to put you and your little friends here behind bars," the swan announced.
"Huh?" Andy said, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were a cop. I thought you were a musician."
"Well, I used to write songs for a living, but now I'm in the crime-busting business, and I'm going to bring you and all your filthy, thieving friends to justice," Oliver says.
"Who the fuck is this?" Sly asks.
"I'm glad you asked, Cooper," said the swan. "I am Oliver Featherstone, the world-famous crime fighter."
"Ooh, I'm so afraid," Andy said, mockingly. "A swan is going to bring me in. You going to stop me with your magic swan powers?" He takes a piece of bread out of a basket on the table and tosses it at the bird.
"I'd be careful, Andy," Casey says. "Swans have been known to be quite aggressive."
"Where did you hear that one?" Andy asked, chuckling.
Oliver's eyes narrow and he lets out an angry hiss. The swan then lifts Andy up by the shirt and effortlessly hurls him into the table, knocking it to the floor, spilling and shattering the glasses of ice water that were placed on it, and knocking down Sly and his friends.
"You're asking for trouble now, swan," said Sly as he rose angrily to his feet and picked up his cane.
"You're no match for me, Cooper," the swan snapped. "I could kill you with one blow of my wing."
The kangaroo hostess now returns to the table. "I'm going to have to ask you folks to leave," she says.
Andy gets up and brushes himself off. "I'm terribly sorry about all this, ma'am."
"Let's get out of here," says Sly.
The four thieves then run for the door. Oliver takes a small radio out of his pocket and speaks into it. "Todd, block the front door!"
"Sure thing," the turtle responds. He goes over to the main entrance of the restaurant, lays down on the floor, and tucks his arms, legs and head into his shell.
As Andy is running out of the restaurant, he trips over the turtle's shell, crashing into the heaving glass door and falling to the floor, his muzzle smashed and bloody. "Son of a bitch...." he says, coughing up some blood and a couple of teeth.
"Andy!" Casey says as he helps the raccoon to his feet.
"Don't worry about me, kid," he says, wiping some of the blood from his face.
"There's no place to run now," Oliver says, approaching them.
"You're going to pay for hurting my big brother!" Casey says angrily.
"What are you going to do about it, little birdie?" The swan said as he grabbed the cardinal by his shirt and lifted him to his feet.
The smaller bird struggles to get free, eventually slipping out of his shirt. He then starts to run.
"We'd better get lost," said Sly.
Andy nods his head in agreement, his face still bloody. He, Sly and Casey all race outside, heading for Sly's car. However, Veronica stays behind, staring admiringly at Oliver.
Sly runs back in to get her. "Come on!" he yells to the blue jay.
"That swan can really fill out a pair of Levis," Veronica says breathlessly. "And those boots, and that accent...." She sighs.
"Can't you ever think about anything besided your hormones?" Sly asks, grabbing her and pulling her out the door. Veronica blows the swan a kiss as they exit.
Inspector Carmelita Fox, who had been in the restaurant the whole time, now approaches Oliver, enranged.
"You just stood there and let them get away!" she shouted.
"Excuse me?" he says, puzzled.
"I was told you were a top-notch crime-buster, but it appears you're nothing but a bain, self-centered idiot!"
"And you are?" Oliver asks.
"Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox, of Interpol Paris division," the fox responds. "I've been trailing after you this whole time."
"Really?" said Oliver. "And why didn't you try and contact me? I have no problem working with law enforcement."
"Because, well...." says Carmelita. "That Cooper has been eluding me for years, and I had hoped that you would be able to bring him down."
"And then you would swoop in and take all the credit for the bust?" the swan said, irritated.
"Uh...." Carmelita said nervously.
"Never mind," Oliver said. "There is still a chance we can catch them. They're going to have to go to a hospital to take care of their friend's injured snout, and we'll be there waiting when they get there."
"That doesn't sound like a bad plan," Carmelita said. "We'd better hurry."
"Uh, Oliver," Todd, his turtle assistant, says.
"Yes," says the swan.
"I think you'd better look down," said the turtle.
"Huh? I don't have time for this foolishness."
"Look down at your feet," Todd demanded.
The swan looks down. The toes of his black leather boots are covered with large, white, foul-smelling globs. "Bloody hell!" he says. "That little fuck decided to relieve himself while I was holding him. These are finest English leather crime-fighting boots! He's going to pay to have these cleaned!"
"Enough of this idiocy!" Carmelita says, heading out the door. "I'm going to get that Cooper and his friends."
Carmelita gets in her car and starts it up. She drives out of the parking lot- and into the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic. This traffic jam stretched for miles. It would be pretty much impossible to catch up with Cooper and company.
"Fuck!" she screams. "We'll never be able to catch them now, all because of those two idiots."
"Hey, it wasn't my idea to follow those two," says her partner, who had been in the car the whole time.
Carmelita just glares at her angrily as they sit helplessly in traffic.
Meanwhile, Sly and friends had already made it to the hospital and had gotten Andy's injury tended to.
Casey was giggling uncontrollably as they made their way back to Sly's car. "What?" asked Sly.
"Nothing," said the cardinal.
"There must be something," the raccoon says.
"No," says Casey.
"You crapped on that swan's shoes, didn't you?" said Andy. "I thought I told you about that."
The bird nodded, continuing to laugh.
"Crude yet affective," Sly said as they all got in the car. "I think I'm going to enjoy having you around, Casey." The car starts and they drive off for home, a little hurt, yet still happy.
THE END