Author's Note: Why not just make it an even twenty chapters is what I say. Actually, I just got a bit too chatty and yet again, I had to split this chapter into two separate ones. So there's one more on the way waiting in my document manager to be edited. I apologize for the long wait but I'm blaming the delay on a particularly evil bottle of wine and the fact that I just got cable.
lol--'General' is one of Sami's old nicknames for Lucas from when they were younger. I think that's what she called Lucas because he was always in his military school uniform. She still calls him that every once in a while which is always a treat.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Lucas was alternating his glare between the menu in front of him and the door to the restaurant. He tapped his finger impatiently on his water glass and finally dropped his menu on the table. He leaned back in his chair with a dramatic sigh and looked at his watch for the fiftieth time in the last two minutes. Sami simply watched him calmly as she stirred her coffee. She took periodic sips between Lucas' rants.
"If they don't get here in the next thirty seconds, I'm just going to order without them. This is ridiculous!" He looked at his watch yet again and crossed his arms in a huff.
Sami couldn't help but grin at his impatience. That was supposed to be her signature character trait. "Lucas, they're only a few minutes late. Remember, we got here early." She was totally unperturbed when he directed his restless glare at her. She decided to ignore him and took another sip of her coffee.
"I thought Little Ms. Perfect and the Boy Scout would have no problem arriving on time." At the sound of the door opening, he quickly turned towards the front of the restaurant and scowled in disappointment. "Sami, I'm starving!" he whined. "I can't even explain to you the levels of hunger pulsing through my body right now."
Sami made a face at his grouchy tirade. Now she knew where Will got his whining from. "And you call me a drama queen? You had a bowl of cereal not even half an hour ago. Stop exaggerating. They'll be here soon."
"I'm a big, strong guy. It takes a lot to sustain my energy levels—especially trying to keep up with you," Lucas replied with a wink.
"Don't you dare blame this on me. If I remember correctly, my playing around wasn't what kept us in the shower until the hot water ran out."
Lucas grinned and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Maybe not, but you were certainly the one screaming for more—over and over again if I recall correctly." He made sure to squeeze her thigh meaningfully under the table. His grin widened when he felt her shiver at the memory and his touch.
"You got me there," she replied and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "But stop trying to change the subject. The point is that you're acting like a child. Maybe Philip and Belle were getting reacquainted with their bodies too and they're running a little late." Sami laughed thinking about those two bumbling around with their raging hormones.
Maybe it was the hunger talking but Lucas wasn't feeling particularly accommodating of their siblings' initiation into the funhouse of fornication. "What the hell do they have to get reacquainted with? Belle's still technically a virgin and as far as I know, Philip hasn't gotten so much as an accidental grope. It should take all of ten minutes for them to get reacquainted. And let us not forget that he even has a full tank of gas to get here on too."
"Stop pouting, Lucas. You're worse than Will. If you're so hungry why don't you just order something and shut the hell up. You're seriously working a nerve over here. If we're going to see Will at camp today, I don't want you spoiling things with your bad attitude." Lucas thought that was rich coming from her but kept quiet about that point. It was strange to him how much he had changed since falling in love with Sami. The old Lucas would have called her out about her bad attitude and the numerous occasions where she had wreaked havoc with it. But loving her as he did meant that he had to act above that kind of pettiness--especially when he knew she was so much better than that.
Plus, she did have a point that he didn't want anything to spoil their day with Will. They were too excited about their good news to keep it from Will so they had decided to tell their son the news in person. The fact that it would take them away from Salem for a little while was a perk of the whole deal.
"I was just trying to be nice so we could order together. You don't have to get all bitchy about it." He tried to playfully peek around her menu but she snapped it back in place before he could pull it down. "Maybe we should order you something right now. It sounds like the hunger is getting to you too," he said grinning.
Sami finally dropped her menu and rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You are impossible. It's a good thing you're cute or you'd be out the door."
"I thought it was my winning personality and excellent genes. But now that you mention it, I am pretty cute aren't I?"
Sami snickered at his assessment. "I forgot to mention your modesty too. In deference to certain siblings of yours and the truce I made with your mother, I'll refrain from commenting on the value of your gene pool. But I will say, that it's a good thing that Will takes after me."
Lucas was about to protest when a third voice entered the conversation. "What were saying about Lucas' siblings Sami?" Philip asked from behind her. While the two of them had been bickering, he and Belle had finally arrived and were about to sit down. Philip leaned down to give Sami a kiss on the cheek but thought better of it when he felt the flesh-melting glare Lucas sent him. However, both Sami and Lucas were breathing a sigh of relief at their arrival albeit for different reasons.
"Well, Philip, while Lucas was telling me about his more redeeming qualities, I was saying how it was such a shame certain members of his gene pool couldn't be as punctual as he is." Lucas grinned at Sami and shoved menus in Philip and Belle's direction. "It's a good thing you got here when you did. I was afraid Lucas was going to chew off a digit."
As if to prove the point, Lucas grabbed Sami's hand and playfully nibbled on her ring finger making her giggle in response. "Tell me about it," he replied. He pulled Sami's finger from his lips but kept their hands intertwined on the table top. "Seriously, guys, I'm starving. What took you two so long?" He gave them a sly, knowing look. "Or do I even want to know?"
Belle turned slightly red with embarassment. "It wasn't anything like that. We were just running late—"
"—what she means," Philip interrupted, "is that she took five years to get ready and we ended up running late. She was in the bathroom forever checking herself out."
"Philip!" Belle exclaimed imploring him to keep his observations to himself.
Philip wouldn't be censored though. "You should have seen her. She kept standing there looking at herself and brushing her hair. You'd think she had just switched bodies with her sister or something." He laughed lightly at his stupid joke but stopped pretty quickly when he saw that no one else was amused.
Belle gave his arm a girlish push looking even more embarrassed. "I was just happy to be back in my own body. I wanted to make sure that it was real. Besides, you're the one who went back to sleep after you got off the phone with them." She looked back across at Sami and Lucas to explain. "He's the one who you talked to and he didn't bother to make sure I was fully awake when he told me we were having brunch. So of course, he goes back to sleep for another half an hour and then blames me when we're late." She shook her head at Philip and gave him a disapproving look.
"Whatever," Philip said picking up his menu. "Anyway, I'm sure you two wasted no time doing the nasty this morning. You probably jumped each others' bones the second you realized you were both in your own bodies." He concentrated on the menu seeming uninterested in hearing about his brother's sex life.
"Well, we don't have to answer that seeing as how we weren't the ones who were late. Besides, we're engaged. We can have sex whenever and wherever we want." Sami said.
"Not according to the Catholic church," Belle added helpfully and casually perused her menu.
Sami grimaced at her sister's accurate, nonetheless irritating comment. "Details, details," she said under her breath. She snapped her menu closed and stared at Lucas. "Since you're SO hungry, what are you having?"
Lucas chose to ignore her sharp tone since he knew she was annoyed by Belle's comment and not by him—for a change. "I'm having the steak sandwich with fries and a salad," he answered quickly having had a lot of time to think about it. He focused his attention on Philip and Belle thinking about their bizarre switcharoo. "I don't know about you guys but because of our unfortunate adventure of the past few hours, I think, for a while, I'm going to be making sure it's Sami I'm kissing before I let things get too far." Lucas motioned the server over to their table, anxious to get his order in.
Belle put her menu down and laughed in Lucas' direction. "That might be a problem at your wedding when the priest says, 'you may kiss the bride.' I can just imagine you at the alter trying to figure out if the woman standing next to you is really Sami." Philip and Sami joined in her laughter at the mental picture.
"Yeah, the woman in the gorgeous wedding dress, right Belle," Sami added.
"Right. I wonder how much I should charge, Daddy for my creation." Belle said while doing the calculations in her head. Both women laughed at the idea while the men ignored their 'girl talk.'
"Oh good, you're all here," the server said cheerfully. She pulled out her notepad and pointed her pen at Lucas. "I was a little worried about this one." Sami laughed even harder giving Lucas an 'I told you so' look.
"Hey, as long as we're all clear how hungry I am right now." He gave his order to the server and leaned back in his chair to wait for his meal.
"What's the soup of the day?" Philip asked.
"Minestrone. It's made from scratch and delicious!"
"Does that have celery in it because I hate celery?" Philip said scowling. "Could I have mine without celery?"
"I don't think so, sweetie." The server gave Philip the look she reserved for picky customers who were intent on giving her problems.
"Okay. Do you have a special low-carb menu?" he asked hopefully. Everyone else groaned at Philip's ridiculous obsession with nutrition.
The server began tapping her pencil on her notepad. "What you see is what you get, hon."
"Alright then," Philip answered clearly annoyed. What kind of establishment was this? Who didn't have low-carb these days? "I'll have the chicken breast sandwich on a whole wheat roll with a side of sprouts, no mayonnaise. Instead of the fries I'd like the soup of the day—with celery, I guess—and with that I'd like a small side of cheese and a few crackers. Oh, and can I have some water with no ice please." Philip said handing her his menu.
The server wrote everything down and turned to Belle clearly happy to be done with Philip. "What can I get for you, little lady."
Belle pretended to look over her menu again. "I'll have a cheeseburger," she replied. She then stole a look towards Philip and changed her mind. "On second thought, I think I'll have the garden salad with low-fat dressing and water please."
Philip gawked at Belle like she had grown two heads. "A salad? Please, Belle, don't get all girly on my account. I've seen you slurp down a whole cow without a second thought."
"Well, maybe I'm just trying to be healthy," Belle said.
"We've known each other all our lives! Not only have I seen you free-base various chocolate products on a daily basis, but over the course of our platonic relationship, I've seen you eat everything from dirt to those horrible vending machine pastry snacks. Trust me, there's nothing that would surprise or disgust me at this point. Just because we're 'dating,'" he said finger-quoting and glancing meaningfully over at Sami, "doesn't mean you have to go all cliché on me."
"Sooorrrryyyy," Belle mocked. "Fine, I'll have the cheeseburger, medium rare. Are you satisfied?"
"Yes, thank you." He leaned over and kissed her quickly on the lips.
Sami and Lucas just ignored the two showing little interest in their tiff. "Aren't you glad we skipped all that dating stuff," Lucas said.
"Yeah," Sami responded. "Having sex when we were friends, being teenage parents, and acting like a divorced couple before falling in love and getting hitched seemed to work for us."
"Exactly." Lucas said. "Now what are you having?" he asked pointing towards their server who was waiting on her with professional interest.
"Mmmmm, I think I'll have a short stack of pancakes, two eggs scrambled with bacon and fruit and a side-order of home fries. And I would also like a glass of orange juice, please—and when you get the chance, could I get more coffee?"
"Certainly," their server answered scribbling down the order before reaching for their menus.
Sami grabbed her menu back and glanced quickly at the breakfast items again. "Oh, I almost forgot. Could you bring me a couple of those homemade biscuits and maybe a half-order of cornbread?"
"Sure!" the server exclaimed. "Now that's what I call breakfast."
Three sets of eyes stared at Sami in disbelief. "Are you sure that's enough food for you Sami?" Philip joked.
Sami shrugged. "Like Lucas said, we're hungry and you guys were late." She downed the last of her coffee and leaned back in her chair. "And to answer your question, I'm sure that's enough. If it's not, I'll just eat Lucas' coleslaw since it comes with his sandwich and I know he doesn't like it."
"You're going to be sick, Sami," Belle said. "I'm glad you're not ingesting that in my body."
"You're not the only one," Sami threw back.
"Speaking of which, you two could have picked a more comfortable place to camp out," Philip said rubbing his neck. "My neck is killing me from sleeping on that couch."
"You'll get over it," Lucas replied. "Besides, I think you're hardly one to complain about what I was doing in your body."
Philip threw his hands up, clearly annoyed. "I knew it wouldn't take long before you brought that up. I've got three words for you bro—Let. It. Go."
Lucas waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "What I want to know is why me and you switched first both times."
Philip appeared to be deep in thought as he tried to come up with an answer. "Maybe it was some kind of genetic locator thing and it only works for two people at a time."
"Or there might have been some kind of time lag with whatever it was that caused us to switch," Lucas added.
"I don't know about all that guys but maybe it was the universe at work like Celeste said," Belle jumped in.
They all sat at the table pondering their various theories. However, Sami wasn't in the least bit interested in dissecting their experience. "Maybe it was aliens, or maybe Stefano DiMera is alive and came up with a device that switches bodies." She lowered her voice as if her next words were of the utmost importance. "Maybe we're all being manipulated by higher beings who dictate our very existence through the magic of glorified word processing." No one at the table appeared to appreciate her sarcasm. "Excuse me if I'm the only sane person here but, the whole situation defies logic. We aren't some kind of science fiction think tank. I don't think any amount of brainstorming is going to adequately explain what happened to us."
Lucas sighed to himself. "I guess you're right but I can't help wanting to know why."
"Who knows why anything happens in our lives, darling," a voice answered behind him. The four occupants of the table looked up to see their ally Celeste standing by them looking refreshed and striking, as usual. "I take it things are back to normal for the four of you, no?"
They all looked around a little uncomfortable and embarrassed about their predicament. They had been understandably panicked when they last spoke to her and in the light of day it all seemed rather silly. "We're doing great," Belle stammered out.
"We're definitely feeling more like ourselves," Philip added. They all snickered uneasily at his bad choice of words.
Celeste simply smiled at them. "So you followed my instructions last night?" All four looked at each other guiltily as they tried to find the least offensive way to answer her truthfully. They all began speaking at once attempting to give their enthusiastic assent. Celeste was no fool though. To her, their answers indicated that they hadn't done what she asked at all. That was alright, since she kind of gave them the advice off the top of her head anyway. She briefly closed her eyes as if concentrating on something really hard. When she re-opened them, she seemed relaxed and convinced of something. "Now all is balanced with the forces around you. The Universe has been made right."
They didn't really know what Celeste was talking about or what kind of instrument you used to measure the balance of 'the forces' but they felt better hearing from her that all was right in the world again. "That sounds like a good thing," Lucas said tentatively.
"Uh, yeah. Thanks for your help Celeste. We really appreciate it. Right guys?" Sami hinted to the others at the table. Celeste was then accosted with various words of thanks and appreciation. She was a bit taken aback at first but she composed herself quickly.
"It was my pleasure. Well, I'll leave you to your meal." They said their words of goodbye and she glided away gracefully.
"Do you think she caught on that we didn't really do anything she asked us to last night?" Not in least bit experienced at lying but very conscious of her reputation, Belle looked a little worried.
"What makes you think we didn't hold up our end of the bargain? For all you know, we're the ones who picked up the slack for your sorry asses. Come on, unless aligning the forces involved playing peek-a-boo with your genitals, we all know what you two were actually concentrating on last night." Both Sami and Lucas snickered at her comment.
Belle and Philip were extremely annoyed at Sami and Lucas' constant ribbing about their having sex in their bodies. If they hadn't felt so guilty about the whole thing, they would have said more to defend themselves. "Hasn't the line of humor gotten old yet?" Philip asked.
"No," Lucas replied.
"Not at all," added Sami. "In fact, I think I have a few more left for later." Lucas and Sami continued to laugh at their siblings. Philip looked like he had something to say about that but Belle just ignored them.
Their food arrived a few minutes later and not a moment too soon judging by Lucas' suspicious eyeing of the sugar packets. Sami had to stop him from inhaling his food and choking. "Lucas, slow down, you're going to choke. Geez, it's like I've got two children."
"For the umpteenth time, I am really hungry." The expression on her face showed that she didn't appreciate him answering her with his mouth full. "Sorry," he said wiping his mouth with his napkin.
Philip, on the other hand, was busy picking the celery out of his soup. "So Belle, how's the burger?"
"Delicious, thanks." She took another big bite thankful that he had talked her out of getting the salad. She was about to ask him if he was finished fixing his soup but when she glanced over at him, she saw that he had moved to dressing his sandwich. Of course, he had made the poor server bring him more onions and some low-fat dressing, which he was applying at the moment.
"Would you just eat the damn thing, Philip. We're all going to be done with our meals and happily digesting by the time you take your first bite." Lucas, for his part, was completely done with his salad and was trying to ease his pace on the sandwich and fries.
"I have to have it just right or it'll be gross. If you want to worry about something why don't you keep an eye on that woman of yours. She's in for a world of heartburn eating all that food in front of her. It'll take at least a week to digest all that." He looked over at Sami's buttery eggs and pancakes drenched in syrup and cringed thinking about what it was doing to her arteries. Sami returned his stare and shoved a forkful of food in her mouth making a show of how good it was and how much she was enjoying it.
Lucas and Belle laughed at the two. They were all obviously enjoying their brunch and were glad that they had decided to get together. The constant bickering between the four of them was lighthearted and comfortable—a dynamic they hadn't experienced in a while given the sad times they had lived through recently. It just proved that when times got rough, it really did help to be close to family. But then again . . .
"Well isn't this cozy," came a snarky, grating voice from behind Philip and Belle. They all looked up to see Kate hovering over their meal looking like death warmed over.