Title: Broken.
Harry Potter.
Rating: PG-13, just in case
Genre: Angst.
Secondary Genre: Romance/Drama.
Soundtrack to Chapter: (Broken: Seether and Amy Lee.) Enigma: Trapt.
Summary: He's happy. Or content at least. Or so it seems. What happens to him when he's alone? What torture does he put himself through after the life he's had to live? What does he tell himself? Is he all he seems to be, or is he someone else when he's alone?
Kid (7/1/04): Well, looks like I've actually got ideas for what I want to happen in this chapter, but I only know a little bit. I actually came up with these ideas after I'd went to bed. I was talking to a friend and I kept trying to figure out what should happen in this chapter, and he, some howmade me think of the Dursleys and Malfoys. Scary huh? Well, that's how I came up with this. It will hopefully end up being longer (by maybe1000 words) than the first chapter, but if it isn't, I'm sorry! Really I am! -".Anyway, Fushigi is still out; somehow, and for some reason, she's gone into a comatose state and I, of course, can't wake her, and neither can
Fuyu, so we are stuck doing this. Which, that isn't really a bad thing. We do write better than her sometimes. Eh.. She'll be up soon probably.
Fuyu: Maybe. I've tried everything! I've even... Well, I guess the ways don't need to be said. I say shes dead.
Kid: starts backing away from Fuyu Umm.. Yeah. Anyway, let's go on to the story.
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Chapter two: Quidditch Accidents, Confessions, and Realization.
The scars on his arms were getting worse with every night, where once there was none. The words coming from his mouth were getting harsher with every sentence, where they were once almost sadened. His eyes were becoming more and more languid with every day, where once they would light up the darkests of shadows. His mind was becoming more inapt with every trickle of blood, where once it was clear and sharp. His voice was turning shy and doubtful, where he once spoke with confidence and determination. The ruptures and rifts in his spirit created a new person. Everyone knew it, and some thought it was for the best, but others saw it as disterbing, especially his fellow house mates.But no one knew, so how could they help repair the breaks in him? No one cared enough. No one cared enough to help, even if they did know. They'd just laugh. They'd just break him faster.
"Deeper. Go deeper, dammit!" He cries. This time, he needed to feel. He'd become to numb; his nerves too dead. He'd wanted to feel the pain of his body to stop feeling the pain from in his chest, in his mind. Suddenly, the knife in his hands slips, going under his kneecap, tearing it off from his leg entirely. He doubles over and grits his teeth, trying not to make a sound. "That's better." He whispers to himself as sobs wreck his frame. "That's much better." He unfolds his body and tries to stand, pushing himself up with the wall. And slowly, with tears falling down from his eyes, he makes his way back to the common room, biting his tounge to keep from crying out.
"Let's see..." Hermione pauses in her scribbling to look over a book. "Tookaje?" She looks up at Ron and Harry. This had been a once in a lifetime opportunity. In Muggle Studies, the Professor had declaired it Ethics Week, and assigned each of them a diffrent country. Harry was blessed with Russia, Ron got Africa, and Hermione got Japan. It hadn't been that bad..... Until they were assigned their homework. They had to go through the alphabet and name an animal that's name began with each letter, then find it's translation for their country's language. It hadn't seemed to hard at the time, but now, it was just plain confusing to poor Hermione, and somehow, Ron and Harry seemed to be experts on this country. Especially the language.
Both Harry and Ron laugh at her pronuciation. "Iie! Iie, 'Myni (No! No, 'Mione).Tokage. To-Ka-Ge." Ron says. Hermione shakes her head then trys again. "Toukage." Ron and Harry look at each other. "Close enough. Next?" "Uh.." Hermione looks at her paper, "M. Mouse!" She flips though the English-Japanese dictionary at her side. "Neisumi." "Matta iie (Again, no.) Nezumi." "Nesumi." Harry shakes his head while Ron holds his head in his hands. "'Myni, why don't we go through and come up with the animals, and then, tomorrow night, we can work more on your pronunciation. Okay?" Harry says, smiling sympathetically at her. She crosses her arms and raises her head higher. "What was wrong with my pronuciation?! Huh?" "Well let's see." Ron says as he begins to count off his fingers. "Instead of kirin, you say keren, which has no meaning, you say kingio instead of kingyo, which has no meaning, you say teika instead of taka, which has no meaning, you say kaneko instead of kon-" Hermione slaps him. "ITAI!!! (OWW!!!)" He rubs his cheek, narrowing his eyes at Hermione. "What the bloody hell was that for?" He demands. "You don't have to put everything I've pronounced wrong in my face, Ronald!" "You do it to us!" "I do not! I simply point out your mistakes!" "And think that you can't make any! It's a taste of your own medicine Hermione!" Hermione gets up and, not looking back at either one of them, walks out of the common room.
"I think you may have went a bit far Ron." Harry says, furrowing his brows at his friend. "No, she deserved it." Ron looks over at her work, then at the fire. He sighs, leaning back in the chair. "I'm going to go look for her, alright Ron?" Ron nods as Harry gets up, pushing the portrait door open.
It didn't take long to find the girl, hunched over the sink in Myrtle's restroom. Harry furrows his eyebrows, but walks over to her anyway. "Are you alright Hermione?" He asks, then thinks of the scene he witnessed, and Hermione's position, deciding that that was a stupid question. "I'm sure Ron was just joking when he said that, Hermione. He wouldn't purposely hurt you like that, you know." Hermione sniffles before looking up at him. "Yes he would. You heard his voice! He meant every word of it." She says, never directly looking at Harry. Harry grins and shakes his head. "What I meant Hermione is, he couldn't help it. Sure he meant it. You know it and I know it, but he only said it before he thought about it. He didn't purposely hurt you. He only said the first thing that came to mind." Hermione sighs then nods, knowing he was, at the least, partially right. She slowly walks up to him and puts her arms around him, surprising him. "Thank you, Harry." She says, then leaves.
Harry shivers, wrapping his arms around himself and vigorously rubbing his arms. Someone was watching him, it felt like, but whom? Who would be watching him at this hour?
He shakes his head and dismisses it as he heads back out to the halls. He wasn't going to go back to the common room, not with what just happened between Ron and Hermione, so he decides to take his chances of getting caught without the Invisibility Cloak, but luckily he had the map with him. But it seemed, as he wandered around the halls, that no one, not even Filch was out. It was clear outside, he saw to his delight, and begins to head down to the quidditch field, grabbing his broom on the way. But it seemed he wasn't the only one who fancied flying after hours.
Draco Malfoy sped around the field, diving toward the ground and pulling up just as his feet grazed the dew wet grass. He seemed so at peace now, knowing he didn't have to please anyone, but was still doing just that, even if it was the Gryffindor he was supposidely still enimies with. It went unnoticed that Harry was there until Draco finally set his feet on the ground, the sun beginning to rise. He was wiping his forehead, releaving it of the sweat that was running and didn't notice the raven haired boy until he felt their shoulders hit. Emerald green meets metalic silver for a few brief, electric moments before:
"Potter, what the bloody hell are you-" He stops, noticing the Firebolt in Harry's white knuckled grip. "Oh. Well then," Draco does a sort of nod before continuing on his way. "Wait!" Harry calls out from behind him, making the Slytherin stop dead in his track and look back at the boy now jogging to catch up with him. "What?" Draco says venomously, trying to hide his nervousness behind sheilded eyes. "Uhmm.." Harry starts, showing Draco the very emotion he was trying to hide. Finally, Harry sighs, saying "I noticed that you were limping. Is everything alright?" Draco's eyes widen. Had the Gryffindor really just say that? And he seemed so genuinly honest. "I..." Draco begins, his voice catching in his throat. "Quidditch accident." He says simply, shrugging. "Nothing for a silly little Gryffindor to worry about." Harry laughs at the "silly little Gryffindor" comment, then narrow his eyes playfully at the other boy. "Come on. We'll be late for breakfist if we don't hurry." He tells Draco, walking on in front of him, hearing the hurried steps behind him. Soon enough, Draco catches up with Harry, but never looks at him.
What the hell are you doing? You're being fooled! Run now while you can! His mind screams at him, and he knew he should listen to it, but he felt like the other boy truely was concerned, and that had been what he'd wanted all this time. Someone to be concerned and be honest about it, not testing thier acting skills on him.
And he wanted to tell him all that had happened to him. Show him the scars, not only on his body, but on his mind, on his heart. The boy would listen. It was undeniable, he realized that now, but the question would always be the same: Would he care? Or would he tell him he should keep acting and not try to bring the others down with him. Maybe though, he'd laugh, telling him what an idiot he was. Could he take that chance?
Yes, he could, and he would. He'd tell the other boy.
It was unusual for the two hottest guys in Hogwarts to be late for breakfist on a week day, but rumors would be known to everyone by the end of the day when they were late and came in the Great Hall together. They were talking to each other, so fully engrossed in their conversation that Draco mistakenly followed Harry to the Gryffindor table and sat down beside him. Only when he turned to ask Hermione to hand over the Pumpkin Juice did he realize his mistake. Quickly getting up, he goes to sit with his own house mates, feeling everyone's eyes on him, especially Professor Snapes.
Immediantly, the platnium blonde is questioned, mainly by Pansy, whom he easily ignores. But Blaise was the one Slytherin that Draco Malfoy couldn't ignore, simply because he was his best friend. "What happened?" He asks simply, an undertone of amusement mixed with confusion lining his words. "Nothing. Nothing serious."
Obviously Draco didn't understand just how serious this was. He never sat with Gryffindors, much less Harry Potter. No one sat with anyone outside of their house mates, especially Slytherins. Blaise knew something was up. Draco looked... Happy? Yeah, that was it. He looked happy. An emotion Blaise hadn't seem on his face in over a year and it be the real thing. Draco was lieing to him about something, or at least not telling him something that, even if they were both Slytherins, Draco needed to talk about. But he -Blaise- had also noticed a few things that he knew no one else saw: like the way he would sit was watch Harry like a hawk after a dying rabbit, or the way his insults had turned into something one might arguably call playfull. Which, as everyone knew, wasn't like Draco at all. So, obviously something was up with the Slytherin sitting beside Blaise, and even though Draco wouldn't come right out and say it, Blaise knew what it was.
Draco had finally fallen in love, even if it was with The Boy Who Lived.
The day had went slowly for Harry after the scene with Draco. Every time he turned around, he was being questioned about it, leaving him ready to not only walk out of the school, but pull a "Weasly Twins" on the school. Luckily though, Ron and Hermione had seen this and were able to stop most of the more recent "reporters" from even getting close to Harry. Hermione had even, at one point, agreed with Harry about leaving the school for a little while. Harry and Ron had nearly fell out of their seats when Hermione admited this, but even she had to also admit that she was overflowing with curiosity about this morning. So, Harry told them. He told them everything, except his feelings for the blonde and that he didn't believe the whole "quidditch accident" jitz for his limp. They looked at each other then burst out laughing until they both had tears in their eyes.
"Haven't you heard the rumors?" Ron finally asks. Harry shakes his head. "What rumors?" Hermione wipes the tears from her eyes. "Harry, even the Hufflepuffs know about the rumors. It's said that you and Malfoy are often found snogging in the corner of the library now." "We figured them to be wrong though, mate, so we straightened them out." Ron smiles. "They were straightened out for sure." He says, more to himself then to the others. Harry, being afraid to ask, kept quiet.
Suddenly, he jumps up, throwing some excuse to his friends about needing to go to the library. He rushes out of the portrait door, not bothering to answer the Fat Lady when she yelled at him for pushing her open. He passes by the library, not even looking inside, but still skidding to a stop when the shock of platnium hair caught his attention in the corner of his eyes. There, sitting with (shock!) his, very beautiful, nose stuck in a book, was the one person Harry had been trying to find: Draco Malfoy.
Listening to his friends had made Harry realize a few things. One, this was their last year. If he was ever going to tell Draco of his feelings, now would be a more that perfect time to do so, and two, maybe he had been wrong. After all the things that had been happening here lately, maybe, just maybe his feelings hadn't been one-sided. But, there was the more probable theroy that Draco would just use this against him. Harry had to take that chance. But what would he say? "Hey Draco! How are ya? Me, I'm great, I just came by to tell you that I love you." No. Definently not! "Let's say I have a friend that has a friend that has a major crush on you. What would you do if they, oh.. I don't know, came out and told you?" No, to obvious. And he didn't have anymore time to think about it. He was already standing at the very desk that Draco Malfoy was currently occupying. And just so happened to be stareing up at him.
"Malfoy?" Draco raises an eyebrow. "What?" "Uhmm.." Harry clears his throat. "Could we possibly go somewhere else to talk?" Draco's eyes search Harry's momentarily before shruging nonchalauntly and following Harry.
What did he think he was doing? Harry asks him to talk. No problem. It was probably just to say something along the lines of "We really need to straighten out this rumor." Or "I don't know what's been said, but you do, I'm sure. Could you please deny all of it?". But either way, he did realize that Harry was leading him out to the quidditch feild. Which was probably the best... Suddenly, Harry takes a sharp turn, going up to a picture and pushing in a stone in the wall and floor at the same time. Beside Draco a small handle appears, giving Draco a few doubts and curious thoughts about what Harry wanted to talk to him about. "Come on." Harry whispers, followed by "Lumos." Draco follows the Gryffindor, dispite his mind telling him he should shut the door and lock Harry in it. But either way, he wouldn't have had time, because as soon as their feet touch the ground, candles light and Harry stood in front of him, worrying his lip to the point of almost bleeding.
"Well?" Draco says, ignoring the look in Harry's eyes the best he could. Harry starts walking toward him, timid like. He stops not three steps from Draco, sighs then inhales deeply. "I... I have a slight... confession to make Mal... Draco." Draco? Uh oh. Draco thinks, watching Harry still battle with himself. "Potter, I don't know-" "Harry. It's Harry. And, Draco, you might want to sit down." Draco does so, but keeps his face blank. "I..." the boy starts. Finally, after pacing in front of the Slytherin, Harry comes to stand before him. He sighs, beginning to walk closer to the other. He stops just enough to have to lean over and place his hands on the arms of the chair, closing the space between his and Draco's lips. It was a small kiss, but not so small that Draco couldn't tell what Harry was trying to tell him.
The kiss breaks, and Harry blushes. The Gryffindor doesn't move from over Draco, and at that point he didn't entend to either. He was just happy with the fact that Draco didn't push him away in discust. And, actually, Draco was pushing himself up from the chair. Harry moves, getting out of his way, but instead is pulled closer to Draco, who brings the stunned boy in for another, more passionate kiss. Draco's hands move to explore more of Harry, running over his shoulder and down his arms, pulling them even closer then that of what he already had. Harry breaks the kiss, taking one of Draco's roaming hands and bringing it up to his mouth, kissing it and letting his tounge roll over the scar. Harry looks down in confusion. The scar? On Draco's hand? The raven haired boy moves his eyes from the scar to Draco's face, seeing the pain in his eyes. Harry seperates their bodies, but only enough to push Draco's sleeve up his arm, revealing even more, though smaller, scars littering the seemingly flawless skin. He lets his fingers run over each and every scar, trying to think of what would cause Draco so much pain that he would do this. Finally, after thinking about it and tracing the last scar, he trys to fight the tears that come to his eyes, fogging the boy's vision. Harry looks up at Draco, but find's Draco's eyes are wandering the walls beside him.
"Why?" Harry asks, making Draco look at the boy before him. "Why would you do this, Draco?"
Kid(8/2/04)- That sure took long enough, eh? Well, the next chapter will be the last, that has been confermed. I just hope this is good. I really worked on this one. And with TIOO in a block too, I think I done OK on this. But, anyway, R&R, please!!! Oh, and I know I said something about the Dursleys and Malfoys, but I went in a diffrent direction that didn't need them.
Fuyu: Anyway, we hope you've liked this, and as Kid said, the next is the last chapter.
In Japanese, O and OU make two diffrent sounds. O is like the o in "fort", and ou is pronounced like the "ow" in snow. That could be the diffrence between "I love you" and "I have another girl/boy friend". Major difference.
tbc.