[In death...]
[An X and Yami no Matsuei Crossover fic]Disclaimer: Not mine... as usual... X belongs to the ever ingenious and sadistic Clamp whom i hope will get interested in it again and complete it... ok bad sentence structure there... anw YnM belongs to Matsushita Yoko-sensei... yup
Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Ten years. Well seventeen actually, if one wanted to count the damn day under the Sakura when those inverted pentagrams had been marked onto his hands. But that was not the point. The point was that it had been that long, and he was still here, lying on the bed, alone.
There was a full-length mirror in the apartment. But except for the first day that he had moved in, it was never used. He could not bear to see his reflection, for it reminded him of the one thing – person – he wanted to forget. The one person he held dearest to him in the world. The one person he could not have. The one person that had left him forever. All these years, while he had hoped that person would disappear, a secret part of him also hoped fervently that they could be together. It was a part of him closer to his heart than any other. In fact, it was his heart.
But he knew he would never smash the mirror. Nor would he destroy that which he escaped from. It was the last thing he wanted to protect. The last thing that tethered him to the world and linked him to that person. For now, even the inverted pentagrams were gone. He could no longer see their faint silver light on his hands. They were gone.
Just like Seishirou.
How long had it been since that fateful day on Rainbow Bridge, he did not know. Time was no longer of any significance to him. The events that occurred later happened in a blur. All he knew was that he was suddenly the Sakurazukamori as well as the 13th Head of the Sumeragi Clan. Both sides of the coin.
He did not know why he still lived. Two months ago he could delude himself in thinking it was his responsibilities as an Angel, or a Seal. He did not even know which to refer to himself as. But once again, that was unimportant. The Final Day had passed. Kamui had died. But the world had been saved. He had outlived his importance.
With each breath he drew, he could not forgive himself for taking on the role he so spurned. It was this role that had cost Hokuto her life, and separated him from Seishirou. But he could not bring himself to end his life. What Fuuma had said the day Nataku died refused to leave his head, though he had scoffed at it at the time.
'Doesn't he still exist? Here?' Fuuma pointed to Subaru's right eye.
No. He did not want to live. But neither could he bring himself to destroy the last trace of Seishirou left in the world. He remembered Seishirou had said all those years ago that donating an organ to a living person helped make sure a part of the donor was still alive, in the recipient of the organ. But then again, that Seishirou-san had been a lie, so what he said...
Lighting a cigarette, he rose from his bed and moved toward the window. There wasn't really a need to smoke anymore, but old habits died hard. He took a puff and looked out of the window.
The cigarette fell.
His mismatched eyes widened as he looked at the impossible. It had to be a hallucination, he thought as he blinked and stared again.
It was a hallucination.
His heart plummeted as the face he thought he saw vanished. Then, he inwardly kicked himself for being so stupid. For letting Seishirou get to him even in death. Seishirou was dead. He had punched the hole through his heart himself. God, he was an idiot.
Subaru closed the window and went back inside Seishirou's apartment, where he sat till it was time for the next assignment.
A/N: yes i know... my chapters are really short... don't really know how to write long chapters... gonna try out with another one-shot i'm doing... anw this is my first fic... fgt to mention it last chapt... so R&R k? thx...