Scene V
In some eating place in the castle thing in Gondor
Arwen- Hey! Where's all the roast pork?
Éomer- Pork? The king asked specifically for turkey!
Aragorn- I, uh, just remembered someplace I have to be!
(Edges out of room)
Arwen (hyperventilating)- I...WANT...PORK!!!!!!!! Ahem...please.
(Enter Faramir)
Faramir- Hello all! It's great to back in good old Gondor! I haven't been here since just after the Siege of Gondor when I was nearly burned to death
by my insane father! Rather depressing day that was...
Éomer- Greetings, brother. Please have a seat! Enjoy our feast and rejoice! For Arwen of Rivendell and Aragorn son of Arthorn have come to
wed!
Faramir- Hey! That's great news! I would have a seat, but I've been
riding all day, and it's a real pain in the-
(Enter Aragorn)
Aragorn- Is Arwen-I mean everybody settled down?
(Notices Faramir)
Aragorn- oh! Didn't see you there! How's it going?
Faramir- Pretty good. We lost a couple horses the other day...Oh yeah, and
we kind of, well, lost Éowyn too...Have you seen her?
Aragorn- Actually-
Arwen (interrupting)- Nope! No siree! Not the blink of an eye in ages!
Definitely did not see her on the way here! Too bad, huh?
Faramir (looking at Arwen as though she is insane, which is not far from
the truth in this story.)- Uh, yeah...sure...
Scene VI
Outside of the castle
Person- Attack! Attack! We're under attack!
Aragorn- What's going on?
Éomer- Hello? Don't you see the Orcs swarming the countryside?
Aragorn- Orcs? I thought those were bushes! (Sheepishly) I'm near-
sighted...
Arwen- What's happening? I hear screams of terror!
Éomer- We're being attacked by Orcs!
Arwen- Where? I can't see anything!
Aragorn- Are you near-sighted too?
Arwen- Aragorn, you idiot! I'm an elf! Elves are not near-sighted!
Éomer- Arwen's right! What happened to all the Orcs in the past few
seconds?
(Enter Faramir)
Faramir (dusting his hands off)- Well, that was easy!
Aragorn (staring)- What-what did you do?
Faramir (nervously)- I, erm, killed the Orcs?
Aragorn- But-but that's my job!
Faramir- (clears throat guiltily)
In some eating place in the castle thing in Gondor
Arwen- Hey! Where's all the roast pork?
Éomer- Pork? The king asked specifically for turkey!
Aragorn- I, uh, just remembered someplace I have to be!
(Edges out of room)
Arwen (hyperventilating)- I...WANT...PORK!!!!!!!! Ahem...please.
(Enter Faramir)
Faramir- Hello all! It's great to back in good old Gondor! I haven't been here since just after the Siege of Gondor when I was nearly burned to death
by my insane father! Rather depressing day that was...
Éomer- Greetings, brother. Please have a seat! Enjoy our feast and rejoice! For Arwen of Rivendell and Aragorn son of Arthorn have come to
wed!
Faramir- Hey! That's great news! I would have a seat, but I've been
riding all day, and it's a real pain in the-
(Enter Aragorn)
Aragorn- Is Arwen-I mean everybody settled down?
(Notices Faramir)
Aragorn- oh! Didn't see you there! How's it going?
Faramir- Pretty good. We lost a couple horses the other day...Oh yeah, and
we kind of, well, lost Éowyn too...Have you seen her?
Aragorn- Actually-
Arwen (interrupting)- Nope! No siree! Not the blink of an eye in ages!
Definitely did not see her on the way here! Too bad, huh?
Faramir (looking at Arwen as though she is insane, which is not far from
the truth in this story.)- Uh, yeah...sure...
Scene VI
Outside of the castle
Person- Attack! Attack! We're under attack!
Aragorn- What's going on?
Éomer- Hello? Don't you see the Orcs swarming the countryside?
Aragorn- Orcs? I thought those were bushes! (Sheepishly) I'm near-
sighted...
Arwen- What's happening? I hear screams of terror!
Éomer- We're being attacked by Orcs!
Arwen- Where? I can't see anything!
Aragorn- Are you near-sighted too?
Arwen- Aragorn, you idiot! I'm an elf! Elves are not near-sighted!
Éomer- Arwen's right! What happened to all the Orcs in the past few
seconds?
(Enter Faramir)
Faramir (dusting his hands off)- Well, that was easy!
Aragorn (staring)- What-what did you do?
Faramir (nervously)- I, erm, killed the Orcs?
Aragorn- But-but that's my job!
Faramir- (clears throat guiltily)