A/N: Greetings once again, my dear friends! I must add a quick note, giving mucho credit to my friend Beq aka Rosemary Parkinsons, as I have just remembered that she did indeed practically co-write much of this play with me during LA when we were suppposed to be working on our poetry project! Joy of joys! Credit to Beq! Down with trucks!
Scene IX
Edoras
Arwen- Why did you have to drag me here of all places?
Aragorn- Arwen, we can still get married in Edoras!
Arwen (looking shocked that he would even consider the idea)- No, we most certainly cannot! I will get married in Gondor, or nowhere!
(Enter Éowyn)
Éowyn- Greetings Master Aragorn!
Arwen- Hey, pony girl, he happens to have become a king I the past few months!
(Éowyn looks surprised)
Arwen- Yeah, that's right, and by the way, you better have pork! Mmmm...pork.
(Aragorn shoves her aside)
Aragorn- My dear Éowyn! How are you m'lady?
(Arwen scowls murderously once again, as she does often in the presence of Éowyn)
Éowyn (ignoring Arwen's previous comment about Aragorn's recent kingship)- Lovely Master Aragorn! I trust you had a safe journey?
(They walk off, chatting, into another room)
Arwen (sighing)- Oh well, I suppose I shouldn't be so jealous... Wait! What am I saying? I must be going insane! It's my job to be jealous!
(Stalks off screaming Aragorn's name)
Scene X
Riding away from Edoras
Note: The dialogue that Saruman speaks as he is lying in the road is taken from a play that Bec wrote on some computer program she has.
Aragorn- Why did you have to drag me off in the middle of the main course?!?!
Arwen- Well, I'm sorry, but that goody-goody, girly-girl was making me sick! And plus, they didn't have any pork!
Aragorn- Well, you could have been a little nicer!
Arwen- I didn't feel like it!
(Conversation cut short by the view of Saruman lying in the middle of the road, with an Orc next to him)
Saruman- Cough, cough, I think I may die. I feel cold, and every bone in my body is broken in at least 27 places. (Long pause) Hark! I am healed!
Arwen- Oh joy!
(Gets off her horse and does a jolly dance at Saruman's feet)
Saruman- This jigging girl must be my miracle healer!
Aragorn- I'm confused!
Saruman- Cough, cough. How about that cough drop now, minion!
Orc (frustrated)- I thought you were trying to be "dignified"!
Saruman- No, you fool! I'm dying!
Orc- oh. Ahem...(fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a bag of Hall's Cough Drops)
Saruman- Thank you, minion!
(Pops it into his mouth)
Arwen- Well, congratulations on your cure, but we really must be going!
(They trot off)
A/N: Quite short, quite pointless, quite amusing. I enjoyed it, how about you? Oh dear, I can't hear you, as for all I know you could be on the other side of the world in relation to me, or, then again, you could be one or two houses away from me. Either way, it doesn't matter, REVIEW! And once again, thanx to Beq who will kill me if I don't emphasise her credit. THANK YOU BEQ!!!!! Happy now, my dear friend? Good. Ciao!