Scene XI
Still riding in an aimless direction
Note: Gandalf's...erm..."accessories" are derived from a particularly interesting Math class in which my math teacher wore (and carried) the same thing. Please don't ask me why...
(Legolas and Gimli approach)
Aragorn (waving)- greetings comrades!
Legolas (with Western accent)- Howdy Aragorn; Arwen! Where y'all headed?
Arwen- what's with the accent?
Gimli- Sudden obsession with Western movies and country music...
Arwen- Ah ha...
Aragorn- So, How's it going? What's been going on? I don't know much about the news, as we've been rather, erm, shielded by her overprotective father...
Legolas- Well, Frodo has the One Ring, and he's going with Sam Gamgee on a dangerous and probably fatal quest to destroy it for the good of Middle Earth!
Arwen (to herself)- Hey! I thought this was after the War of the Ring!
Aragorn- But-but, we have to go after them, and help them!
Arwen (to herself, again)- Even though they have supposedly done it before and succeeded fine!
Legolas- You cannot go after Frodo and Sam! Sauron thinks Pippin has the ring! I don't know why, but...
Gimli- Hey, we were in Gondor a couple days ago, and we saw that freakish white tree! It's looking rather sickly. You know, you should water it or something!
Aragorn- Yeah, well, it's in Gondor, and we are not! And plus, Gondor is currently under attack by Saruman's Orcs!
(Freakish white tree suddenly appears, looking wilted and sickly)
Arwen- How convenient! Now you should go get some water from that well over there!
Gimli- A well! How convenient!
Aragorn- That's my line!
Aragorn- A well! How convenient!
(Runs up onto the hill to the conveniently located well)
(Enter Gandalf, wearing a pink bucket on his head and carrying a neon orange, plastic baseball bat)
Aragorn- Hello Gandalf! I am choosing to ignore the fact that you are wearing a pink bucket on your head, and carrying a plastic, neon orange baseball bat, and am just going quietly back to getting water from this conveniently located well!
Gandalf (in a bored tone)- so I see.
(Enter Balrog)
Gandalf- Aah!!!!!!!
(Balrog grabs Gandalf in his fist and proceeds to carry him away)
Balrog- Friend!!!!!!!!!
Gandalf- Aah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aragorn- Gandalf! Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!
(Aragorn runs down the hill to his fellow comrades)
Aragorn- Gandalf has been taken to be a Balrog's friend!
Arwen- Gasp!
Gimli- Gasp!
Legolas- Hot gasp!
All- We must save him!
Scene XII
In various places
Note: The basic plot for this chapter was based on an odd dream that I had, and felt like including in this manuscript. I basically just substituted the LotR characters for the actual people in my dream, so any freakish, unrealistic things are the product of my overly active imagination during the dreaming process.
Legolas (no longer with a western accent)- What a strange sensation I'm feeling!
Gimli- How odd! The air seems to have gone cold!
Arwen- I feel all tingly!
Aragorn- I'm confused!
(The four are suddenly transported to a large cliff, where several boats are waiting at the top of a series of waterfalls)
(Enter Boromir)
Boromir- Greetings, my friends! (Suddenly in excessively happy game-show host voice) And welcome to "Let's Find Gandalf"! The rules are simple folks: You find Gandalf, and you could win- A NEW CAAAAR!!!!!!! Now, it's time to play-
Studio audience (?)- LET'S-FIND-GAAAAAANDAAAAAALF!!!!!!!!
Arwen- Well, uh, I guess we get into these boats.
(Aragorn, Arwen, and Legolas get into one boat)
(They go to push off into the mini-waterfalls)
Legolas- Wait! Where's Hagrid?!?!
Everyone else- OH, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(They all jump out of the boats and run to the edge of the cliff for some telepathic reason)
Aragorn- Look!
(They look over the edge of the cliff and see Hagrid driving by in a white pick-up truck)
Arwen- Don't worry, I'll get him!
(She jumps off the cliff and safely lands on the roof of Hagrid's truck)
(A few moments later, she appears out of thin air with Hagrid in tow)
Gimli- What are you doing with that poor man?
Arwen (shrugging)- I dunno!
(She lets him go, and he falls over the edge of the cliff)
(Suddenly, Arwen falls back into a deep abyss filled with chocolate syrup)
Legolas- Don't worry Arwen, I'll save you!
(He pulls a long jelly doughnut, and casts it into the abyss)
(He pulls out Arwen)
Aragorn- Oh, Arwen! You're okay!
(Arwen glares and turns away)
Aragorn- What's the matter?
Arwen- You didn't save me!
Aragorn (frantically)- I was, uh...being held captive by hostile bush babies in the Amazon Rain Forest!
Arwen- And you escaped?!?!
Aragorn (Proudly)- Yup!
Arwen- You're my hero!
(She hugs him)
(Suddenly, they are transported back to where they were before)
Aragorn (poutily)- Hey! I never got my new car!