Author's Notes: Um, not really a lemon. This chapter has sexual content. This is more of a lime, at least in my book. All of this is consensual. I will never, ever, EVER write a rape scene in my life. More angst, unhappiness, drama, and mixed emotions. This story will be coming to a close sooner than you think. I told you it wouldn't be long! Oh yeah, eventually he'll find about his kid, but with what consequences? Oh yeah My 19th Birthday is coming up August 22nd! Wish me a happy birthday.
An Exile's Stone Heart
Chapter Six: Say goodbye- Go back to your man,
Mai was back in the city again, sad she was once again forced to leave her family. She could always just quit her job, but she still had money to make. Besides, she had already signed the contract for the Myers account and was onboard for at least a month and a half. She had heard nothing from Joey, and although this surprised her, she still expected to see something from him. It had been a good four weeks since they last had sex. She refused to call anything they did together, 'making love' when there was no love involved whatsoever. As a woman, she could control sexual urges way better than he, and even still, she wouldn't give in to lust and call him. Fuck him, fuck his dick, and fuck associating with him altogether. Maybe she should just forget about him all together.
When she arrived at her apartment, she had been shocked to find him standing at her door, drenched in sweat, smelling like crap, and looking like shit. She brushed past him, watching hi9m. If he thought he was coming in her apartment, he could write it off, and forget it. She glared at him, tears stinging at her eyes at his stench. The man smelled like a dump, sewage, and all that other nasty crap she smelled when passing the downtown area. She pinched her nose, and fanned his smell away from her delicate nostrils.
"What the hell are you doing here? God, you look like shit! Did you just run around in dog shit? Ugh! It's burning my eyes."
Joey's eyes were red like win, burning, and he looked as if he had been crying. Mai swept aside, and went into her apartment, and much to her disappointment, Joey entered. She led him to her ki9tchen, gesturing for him to sit down at the kitchen table, away from the finer things in her apartment. She didn't know how he had found her place, but whoever told him where she lived, would pay with their job. She began to brew some coffee, taking his clothes with salad tongs, and putting them in the washer. He stood before her naked, and haggard. She went into her bedroom, returning with a terrycloth bathrobe.
"Do you know where I've been Mai? I visited Rachel's grave yesterday. I brought her flowers, and kissed her tombstone. I miss her, you know? She's gone now, but still… Why weren't you there Mai? Why weren't you at the cemetery?!"
Joey yelled, tears flowing from his face freely. Mai sighed, sitting down on her plush couch in silence. He came here, drunk, smelly, and angry with her?! She had the right to be angry, to throw things, to yell to scream, not him. How could he event think to try to pull this shit with her?! She stood, walking to him, gripping his shirt tightly; her own tears tarnishing her face. She slapped him harshly, her own hand stinging. She drew back, sli8ghtly fearful, and even a little bitter.
"How dare you?! How fucking dare you! You fucking bastard! I have paid my debt to Rachel. Don't you fucking try to lecture me on this. She was my best friend. I was there for her. Unlike you who knocked her up, then abandoned her. You two were my best friends, and you were running around two timing me with her! How the hell do you think I feel about that?! Huh?!"
Joey stepped back, the sting of her words, and palm hurt, but the words cut at his heart. Never in all the time that he was fooling around did he think about how it would affect Mai. She was just supposed to be there for him, no questions asked. If he were hurting, he should have been able to call on her, with no problems, nothing should have been wrong with the picture here. But something was wrong. She was hurting, probably even more than him. Something was wrong, very wrong with the picture. This wasn't supposed to be how things were. Mai stood before him, a beautiful broken, jaded woman.
Her saltine tears illuminated her face, and he wondered if she how beautiful she looked. What was he supposed to do? He had come to her apartment for reassurance, for comfort, and here she, the comfort bringer. The wiper of eyes, the kissers of cheeks, was in need of compassion. So Joey did the thing that came natural to him. He reached out for her hands, not bothering to pay attention to the pain he felt while as she beat on his chest. None of that mattered. What mattered was Mai wasn't supposed to cry. She was the strong one here. In the codependent tryst, she was the one who patted his shoulder, who whispered sweet nothings in his ear.
Deep down, he knew they had an unhealthy relationship. It was right to seek solace in the arms of the person you were manipulating. They pulled each others strings. She was his marionette, a toy to play with when he got bored. But lately, when he wasn't bored, when he felt that his life was- what was the right word? When his life was eventual, things felt in place. Everything was in syncopation. His job, his esteem, his happiness, everything had fallen into place, right? Or did he want more? Eventually, things would get better right? Things would be happier, and one day he'd look back on his life and realize that although every rose had its thorn, every thorn had its rose.
"Don't cry Mai. Please? I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were free from the past, but we aren't. You and me, we'll never be able to not feel that malice. The hate that dwells in our hearts for one another- sometimes I wonder if it will ever die. I don't want to need you, to want you, to be with you like this. It's wrong. We're wrong."
"You hurt me Joey. I am hurting. My heart is hurting. I don't want to see you, when I know that I'll die hurting because of the past."
Mai said pulling away from him. He kissed her tears, wiping her face dry. She held his hand, squeezing it gently. Could she end things like this? Was it even right?! What about her plans? What about her revenge? She was supposed to be cold, and distant, why was she opening up to him so he could hurt her again?! She didn't like being confused, especially when Joseph Wheeler was confusing her. She couldn't let residual feelings prevent her from following through with her goals. The things he did- he left her dammit! Mai felt as if there were a void everywhere around her, with black holes waiting for her to spiral down into oblivion.
"What do you want me to do to make things better? I-I"
"There's nothing Joey?! You'll just end up hurting me and everyone else. You're like poison Joey. You resemble something harmless, but you are just waiting to destroy me in the end. It's not paranoia Joey. You despise me, and guess what? I don't think so damn highly of you either! There's nothing you can do to get me to change my mind. So forget it."
Sarah deserves better and so do I. She thought silently to herself.
"That's not true! I-I care."
Mai looked at him dubiously.
"Alright! Fine, I cared. Just what is it you are saying anyway? What do you want me to do Mai? I'm just tired. I'm so fucking tired of hurting. Everyday I get up, go to work, party, sleep with a few women, and come home. I want something more. I can't keep doing this. I want more. I'm sure you do as well."
"You and I had a better time than most, but this- We're over. Nothing is going to change the past. You and I can't keep doing this. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to play the game anymore. I don't think a bit of pleading form you will change anything between us. I'm sorry Joey."
Mai said looking at the floor. Somehow she felt conflicted. She loved the sex, but she wanted more than that. She deserved to have it, and so did Sarah. What was best for her? What was best for them? She exhaled loudly, embarrassed at where her thoughts had taken her, yet again. Mai's shoulders slumped, and her eyes were downcast. She didn't cringe in fear or pain when he reached out to hold her, she didn't back away in anger. She just bit her lip, and said nothing as the tears fell down her eyes.
"J-just, hold me Joey. Stay here with me tonight, just for an evening."
She pleaded softly. He did just that. He held her, not moving a muscle, his body rigid against her shaking form. Once again he was reminded of how the tables had turned. He had come seeking solace, but now he was soothing her. He gently nipped at her neck, leaving tiny bites against her. He heard her gasp, but since she made no signs of protest, he continued. She sighed in contentment, and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing the space between them. She brought his face from her neck, and cradled his head in her hands. She kissed him gently on the lips, savoring his taste. She always enjoyed kissing him, lapping at his neck, or spreading butterfly kissing across his chest.
"You taste like honey."
She remarked, kissing his cheek. He smiled genuinely. As if his mind and brain were separate, he spoke the words that had been lingering in his mind. Without any thought to what he was thinking, the words just popped out.
"Can I be your honey?"
Mai remained silent. Truthfully, she had no idea how to answer the question. Could he be something more to her? Sid she feel more than just a flutter of love for him. It had to be something, something that was festering in the recesses of her mind. Whatever she was feeling had been yearning, begging, pleading to come out. This sentiment was gnawing at her, eating away at her soul. Think about Sarah, her mind commanded, repeating the mantra.
Although she was not her daughter's biological mother, Sarah would always be her child. Her grandmother had warned her about her way of dealing with Joey. Would Sarah one day grow to resent her for denying her father her entire life? Mai was willing to put her initial hate, for him aside for the sake of their daughter. Even if she felt the tiniest, miniscule bit of affection for him, hell even love, she would try to work something out. Mai owed it to Sarah to do the right thing. What was the right thing?
"Tonight, let's be lovers. Let's strip down, jump out of these clothes. Tomorrow-"
"We'll go back to being enemies."
"I was going to say friends. Tomorrow I'll go back to my work, and you'll be back to your world, and we'll be back to being friends. Maybe, we'll turn this angry, sad thing to the best. Tonight, you and I are as the way we were. You are just Joey, and I am just Mai."
Joey could feel his grin spread upon his face. He had no idea of what brought about the change of opinion, but he liked it. He knew when to not question a good thing. He hugged her, breathing in her scent. She smelled like loganberry. He rubbed his chin against her rosy cheeks. It felt like a primitive way of marking her, making her an extension him. He hoped she'd do the same. He lifted her chin, and kissed her deeply, reveling in the feel of her knees shaking. He too, was jittery, and he'd have collapsed as well.
He looked deeply into her violet eyes, seeing the lust etched on her face. There was also a tad bit more-affection, perhaps? Dare he hope? They hadn't slept together in so long. His body needed hers. He needed to caress her, rub her, kiss her, blow, suck, and slurp and all the other fun things they once did. Whenever they were together like this his body went on auto pilot. He needed to feel that wholeness, that awesome nirvana of reaching heaven. It was the most wonderful feeling he ever remembered feeling. Usually they'd have a little foreplay, the gentle caresses, the nibbles, and the licks. But not now.
He ripped at her clothes, yanking off the offending objects that were preventing him from seeing her in all her goddess like beauty. She was Venus, his Venus, and she lay beneath, tugging at his pants, yanking at his tie. In his haste he had forgotten to remove his own clothing, which had obviously become a nuisance to her. She moaned as he stripped down, standing before an erect Adonis. He knew she wouldn't swoon, she wouldn't moan, and giggle.
Mai was a woman who had experienced his gifts and pleasures before. No, she would not blush beet red, or turn away. Her eyes, hidden by deep lashes, urged him forward. Mai stood now, her hands stationed on her hips provocatively. Her long blonde tresses hid her breast from view, but despite the heat of the room, he could plainly see her nipples were erect. He smirked in amusement, following her to the bedroom. His eyes lingered over her backside, watching her hips sway. He grimaced at his painful erection. If anything, he was not a patient when it came to gratification. He moaned with frustration as Mai bent down to pick up stray items off her floor.
Mai turned and grinned evilly. She was enjoying this game of sexual cat and mouse. He was so close- this wasn't fair! Damn, she was good though. She gestured for him to sit at her futon, as she lounged on the bed. Her legs were spread, and her tongue ran around her rolled against her pouting lips. They were so red, and so soft. He bit his in own in a desperate attempt at self control. Then Mai did the cruelest thing possible. She started playing with herself. Damn her! God, he couldn't take much more.
He wanted to stop her immediately, but like the horny bastard he as he just watched as she played with herself. He watched as she rubbed her breasts and twisted her pink nipples waiting to be- Ahhh! No, it wasn't supposed to be her doing that! It was supposed to be him! He was supposed to be fucking the living daylights out of her so she couldn't walk straight for weeks. He couldn't take it anymore. Joey pounced on her kissing, and sucking, and licking in every orifice, opening, and tantalizing piece of skin his tongue roamed. Her body was a work of art, and he had done enough admiring.
"Mai consider yourself, an active piece of art."
He said dryly. She giggled joyously. He liked giggles. Giggling made Mai bounce, and when Mai bounced he could have some real fun. She wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling his arousal against her thigh. He entered, a smile on his face as he remembered the first time they had sex. They were both young, and it was awkward at first, but then they cracked jokes through the entire ordeal. Mai's first joke had been for him to watch out when entering, because the valley between her legs was slippery when wet. Although it was corny, it helped relieve the tension they had both felt, and they could relax with one another.
He went through the motions feeling that safe warmth of her womb once again. This was where he belonged, with her, in her, around her. As one. They belonged together whether she wanted to believe it or not. This felt so right, it felt like dew after the rain, like Christmas in fucking July. Whatever this feeling was he didn't want to let go, and since Mai was the cause, he never would. Mai toyed with his hair, to keep from screaming his name aloud. This was definitely a reason why she didn't want to let go. She wanted this, and she didn't give a damn about the consequences. Not now, maybe not ever.
FN: That was it. I give you a very lame attempt at lime/lemon or whatever the hell that was. I suck at writing lime. At least it wasn't PWP, even if it was pity sex. I wanted to go all graphic, and descriptive on you, but no-FF.net has prudes. Did that suck? I tried here, but there is that sense of fear of having your story deleted. "Unleash your imagination and free your soul" my ass! How can we free our souls, if they determine that anything that is NC-17 is wrong? (Xing, my soul would feel freer if this wasn't so hypocritical.) How dare they still have that banner after the NC-17 ruling?! No worries. I've always got Mediaminer. So whatcha think? I think this fic is coming to a close soon. I'm still debating the happy vs. sad case.