Never Been Forgiven
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: All but this storyline, Anne, Karen and all from Sirius' new school belongs to J.K.Rowling.
I actually found this chapter really hard to write, so forgive me for taking so long, I really have tried.
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Sirius' mind raced as he cried away the fears from his mind, the fears being little more than memories. Though one thought bothered him, James. Why had James brought back the memories? He didn't understand. Could it have been because James had come so close to stopping it, to stopping everything? Maybe he just blamed him, for not coming all the way down...for not being there when he was needed. Not that he would have, they weren't talking at the time.
Sirius shook his head slightly. He couldn't think any further, if he did he knew he would blame James. But that wasn't fair, it was his fault, and he had to live with his weakness. He felt a sob build up
As his old friends approached from behind he stood up, and wiped his eyes dejectedly. He sighed, took a deep breath, and went to walk away, when...
"Sirius? Can we talk?"
Sirius spun around before James had even finished his sentence. For a second their eyes connected, before Sirius submitted, lowering his eyes. A sad habit of his, showing the weak and emotional boy he had become. James looked a bit uncomfortable, for the Sirius he knew would probably have laughed or glared at him.
"What's the problem?" Sirius kept his head down and his voice merely above a whisper, so they had to strain to hear it.
"Sirius..." Said Lily stepping forward, "there's no problem, we just want to talk...To you." She added as an afterthought.
He looked up, stunned. "I...I...I" He stuttered, unsure of what to say. Remus smiled sympathetically, urging him on with a light smile. Sirius stopped, closing his mouth almost instantly. His eyes widen with fear as he began to back away, taking small steps.
"Sirius!....Wait....please? We just want to talk. Please?" Remus looked alarmed, but Sirius didn't look convinced. Eyes still wide, breathing slightly laboured, he slowly nodded, but didn't make a move forwards. "Look, Sirius, I'm sorry...I didn't mean for you to leave. I was just upset-"
Sirius cut him off, "It was my fault. I shouldn't have told Snape anything," He flinched at the use of Snape's name. "But...erm...I... er..." Sirius trailed off.
"Let's just talk for a while ok," James moved forward, looking back for support from his friends, "We've forgiven you...if you've forgiven us."
Sirius gasped, "erm...er...I..."his voice wavered, "I'm not mad...er...I'm...erm...very happy here." He smiled nervously. The group stared at him. Panic raised in him as he felt their eyes drilling into him. In a split second his brain seemed to split in half, one half wanted to run, the other wanted to give them a chance. "Er...I have to go..." The first half won, as he turned and ran from them, directly into the headmistress...
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I hope you like it, took me ages to write. I'm really sorry, I'm stuck on this really bad writers block, and I've got exams next week, so you'll have to wait.
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: All but this storyline, Anne, Karen and all from Sirius' new school belongs to J.K.Rowling.
I actually found this chapter really hard to write, so forgive me for taking so long, I really have tried.
________-------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------________
Sirius' mind raced as he cried away the fears from his mind, the fears being little more than memories. Though one thought bothered him, James. Why had James brought back the memories? He didn't understand. Could it have been because James had come so close to stopping it, to stopping everything? Maybe he just blamed him, for not coming all the way down...for not being there when he was needed. Not that he would have, they weren't talking at the time.
Sirius shook his head slightly. He couldn't think any further, if he did he knew he would blame James. But that wasn't fair, it was his fault, and he had to live with his weakness. He felt a sob build up
As his old friends approached from behind he stood up, and wiped his eyes dejectedly. He sighed, took a deep breath, and went to walk away, when...
"Sirius? Can we talk?"
Sirius spun around before James had even finished his sentence. For a second their eyes connected, before Sirius submitted, lowering his eyes. A sad habit of his, showing the weak and emotional boy he had become. James looked a bit uncomfortable, for the Sirius he knew would probably have laughed or glared at him.
"What's the problem?" Sirius kept his head down and his voice merely above a whisper, so they had to strain to hear it.
"Sirius..." Said Lily stepping forward, "there's no problem, we just want to talk...To you." She added as an afterthought.
He looked up, stunned. "I...I...I" He stuttered, unsure of what to say. Remus smiled sympathetically, urging him on with a light smile. Sirius stopped, closing his mouth almost instantly. His eyes widen with fear as he began to back away, taking small steps.
"Sirius!....Wait....please? We just want to talk. Please?" Remus looked alarmed, but Sirius didn't look convinced. Eyes still wide, breathing slightly laboured, he slowly nodded, but didn't make a move forwards. "Look, Sirius, I'm sorry...I didn't mean for you to leave. I was just upset-"
Sirius cut him off, "It was my fault. I shouldn't have told Snape anything," He flinched at the use of Snape's name. "But...erm...I... er..." Sirius trailed off.
"Let's just talk for a while ok," James moved forward, looking back for support from his friends, "We've forgiven you...if you've forgiven us."
Sirius gasped, "erm...er...I..."his voice wavered, "I'm not mad...er...I'm...erm...very happy here." He smiled nervously. The group stared at him. Panic raised in him as he felt their eyes drilling into him. In a split second his brain seemed to split in half, one half wanted to run, the other wanted to give them a chance. "Er...I have to go..." The first half won, as he turned and ran from them, directly into the headmistress...
________-------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------________
I hope you like it, took me ages to write. I'm really sorry, I'm stuck on this really bad writers block, and I've got exams next week, so you'll have to wait.