"Ryan, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?"
The voice is distant, like the person is standing miles away, and I struggle to find the source of it as I slowly walk around the darkness. If I go straight, the voice seems to fade, but if I turn slightly, it seems that the voice is all around me, like it's consuming me.
"Ryan honey, I need you to open your eyes for me to let me know that you're okay."
I turn sharply to the left as the voice speaks up again, but it fades quickly and I'm lost again. I want to give up, I want the pain to just go away and give up, but the voices won't let me. They won't let me slip away from them, out of their grasps.
"I don't think this is normal Sandy, he's been unconscious for two days. His eyelids flutter like he's trying to wake up, but he never does. I'm really worried."
"The doctor said his body's going through shock, trying to adjust and fight off any infection. I'm sure the doctor would tell us if there were anything seriously wrong with him. Just give him a little bit more time."
The voices are familiar, like I've heard them before, but they're all still so distant, out of reach. No matter how much I try to get to them, they keep distancing themselves from me, pulling back so that I'm constantly out of arms reach of them.
"I'm going to get the doctor, I just don't think this is normal."
"Kirsten…"
There's a soft clicking noise, like the sound of a door quietly closing, and then the voices are gone. I plead with them to come back, to help me find my way out of the darkness, but all I hear is the quiet sound of air being taken in and pushed out like someone's standing over me, breathing heavily.
I push everything out of my mind and try to focus on that sound, trying to follow it out of the darkness, and just as I feel that I've got it in my grasp, I hear faint sounds and footsteps again, approaching me at a seemingly rapid speed but not quite coming close enough for me to reach out to.
"Mrs. Cohen, I'm sure Ryan will wake up when he's ready. If you've seen his eyelids flutter, then that's definitely a good sign. He's trying to find his way out, his way back to you. Just keep talking to him, let him know that everything's going to be okay, that he's going to be safe. If he believes he's going to be safe when he opens his eyes, then he should be able to come to us a little easier."
Everything goes silent for a moment, and I feel something cold and round press against my chest. It disappears for a brief second before moving over to my side, and I feel my fingers twitch from the pain as it shoots throughout my body.
"His breathing sounds seem to be steadying out, returning to normal, which is a very good sign. The wound is healing pretty quickly, and if he's awake by then, I'll consider letting him go in a few days. Am I safe to assume that he will be retuning home, instead of a cold jail cell?"
The last three words seem to trigger something in my mind, and the image of someone standing over me flashes in front of my eyes and my body jerks as I try to get away from it.
"Ryan, calm down, everything's going to be okay. You're in a safe place, no one can hurt you here."
I relinquish my fight to get nearer to the voices and try to push them away as a plethora of horrible images plagues my mind, and my body begins to shake ever so slightly as a few tears escape the corners of my eyes.
I want to scream, to tell them to go away, but nothing but air comes out of my mouth as I open and close it again, trying to find the words to make them go away.
I feel hands on my skin, on my face, and I start to quiver as my mind becomes paralyzed with fear and my eyes shoot open as I'm blinded by a bright light.
My lungs are screaming for air as they burn painfully, and I gasp loudly as I finally get enough strength to push the prying hands away as I sit up and grip my chest, like it's going to help the air enter my lungs any faster.
Something covers my mouth, sending short puffs of air into my lungs, and I greedily inhale it as I feel hands on my back, remaining there even when I try to push them away.
My body suddenly feels weak, like it's weightless, and trying to fight with the prying hands seems to become an impossible task as arms wrap around me and I'm pulled against someone's body.
As my breathing begins to smooth out again, I try to focus my eyes on my surroundings as I see the source of the voices standing around me with worried expressions on each of their faces. I don't want to go back to the darkness, I don't want to be kept at arms length from the source of the voices anymore.
I shakily look up at the person holding me, and Kirsten gives me a reassuring smile as she whispers something quietly to me and begins to rock me back and forth like a small child who just woke up from a bad nightmare.
Sandy's sitting next to Kirsten on the edge of the bed, grasping one of my hands tightly, and on the other side of them the doctor's got her eyes fixed on the object in her hands as she writes something on the clipboard.
My eyes become heavy with sleep as I look between the three of them, but I struggle to keep them open in fear that I will get lost in the darkness again. I don't think I ever want to close my eyes again, other than a quick blink.
"Ryan, are you feeling better? Can you breathe okay now?"
It takes a minute for the doctor's words to register in my mind, and as they do, I slowly nod my head up and down, wincing as a sharp pain surges through my aching body.
"I want you to really take it easy for the next couple of days, don't try to make any sudden movement or push your body to the limit. You just had a mild panic attack, and I just want to make sure it's the last one.."
The doctor smiles at me reassuringly, but it doesn't make any of the pain go away as I push myself further into Kirsten's grasp, finally becoming tired of running, from trying to escape everything when nothing seems to be going right.
Kirsten seems pleased at my actions and tightens her arms around me, being careful of my side as she does so and kisses the top of my head. The doctor gives me a quick look over before telling me to get some rest, and Sandy and Kirsten thank her as she gives me another reassuring grin and leaves the room. The Cohen's sit quietly with me, and I let my gaze fall onto random spot in the room as I attempt to stay awake.