Disclaimer: Fox owns the O.C., I'm merely distorting the story line to fit my twisted thoughts.

I'm so sorry for kind of abandoning this fic. I had severe writer's block, and then it just kinda faded to the back of my mind (the fic), but I promise it will pick up now. I have a few ideas for at least the next few chapters, and I'll probably start with the next chapter after I type this other update I have written for one of my other fics.

I didn't proof this, as usual, so you'll probably find plenty of mistakes. ENJOY!

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"Come on man, quicken your pace we're going to be late."

Seth's obnoxious attitude continues to make me nauseous as I hold onto my side, fearing that I'll end up hurting myself once again as I slowly walk behind Seth. I've barely been out of the hospital for two weeks and he's got me running around, pretending like nothing ever happened. I guess this is better than going back to a cold jail cell though where the threat of death always lingers over me, not for who I am or what I've done, but because of the person I came from. Sometimes I wonder why I bother caring about her, why I waste all of my strength and energy trying to figure out what I ever did so wrong to make her hate me so much as to abandon me the way she did after all I've done for her.

As my thoughts begin to wonder down the same path they have so many times before, I see a stone bench a few feet away, begging me to claim it so that my stitches wont bust from too much strenuous activity so soon in this game of life. Seth continues to skateboard on without me, not noticing that I have stopped until he reaches the end of the pier and turns around, staring at me slightly worried as I lean forward so that my elbows are resting on my knees and my fingers are laced behind my neck while my head is down.

The same thoughts seem to constantly plague my mind, no matter where I am, and I just can't seem to get them to stop and leave me alone. I still feel like a plague on this town, a disease that won't go away, but it's not something I can share with the Cohen's, or anyone else for that matter. I've done my best to rebuild the façade I had before, make it so they think I'm perfectly fine with no negative thoughts going on in my head, but at times they seem to look right past it. They know I'm keeping things in, trying to deal with them on my own, and I can tell by the expression in their eyes that they know I'm failing miserably at it.

"Are you okay Ryan, you're starting to look a little pale again. Maybe I should call mom or dad to come pick us up. We can go to the crab shack some other time."

I wave my hand at Seth, dismissing his comment as he stands over me, and I take in a deep breath before carefully pushing myself back onto my feet, trying to reassure Seth that I'm okay although we both know I'm really not.

"It's cool, I just needed a little breather. Let's go."

The look in his eyes seem to flash 'Liar' in big letters at me, but I ignore it as I walk past him and start walking in the direction of the restaurant, still unsure if I can keep any solid food in my stomach at the moment; the task his become seemingly impossible since I was almost gutted in Chino. The police decided it might be best in their situation to drop any and all charges against me, considering the fact that Sandy threatened to sue the city for allowing what happened to happen.

"Ryan man, seriously, at least let me call my parents and have them drive us the rest of the way. They're going to kill me if you get hurt anymore because of me."

Seth's pleading goes unheard as I continue walking in the direction of the crab shack, but I stop short when I see the familiar Range Rover pull up into a close by parking lot and Kirsten steps out, a slightly annoyed and angry look on her face as she starts walking towards me.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen her look that pissed. I wonder what happened."

"I have a feeling I might know."

Seth looks at me confused, and just as I open my mouth to explain, Kirsten cuts me off and stands in front of us, glaring between the two of us.

"I turn my back for one second, one second and you vanish into thin air. You know the doctor said you need to stay put and rest until she gives you a good bill of health. If you needed to go somewhere that badly, you could have simply asked me and I would have taken you. Where are you two off to anyways?"

I open my mouth again to speak, but nothing seems to come out except the breath I began holding the second she started talking. Seth looks at me expectantly from my side, his eyebrows knitted in confusion when I don't say anything, and Kirsten frustrated turns to her son in an attempt to get an answer.

"It's no big deal mom, we were just going to the Crab Shack for some lunch. We should have told you, I admit it, but all we do all day is sit in the house, trying to keep from dying from boredom. Besides, Ryan's never really going to get his strength back just sitting around like a couch potato."

I feel a wave of nausea pass over me as Kirsten begins scolding her son, and I grip my side as my vision becomes slightly distorted and blurry. There's another bench nearby, and as the two begin arguing with each other, I stumble over to it and sit down, squeezing my eyes closed as the pain begins to burn in my side.

"Ryan honey, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

She kneels down in front of me, grabbing my chin and trying to get me to look at her, and I push her away before I grab my stomach and throw up on the ground in front of me, keeping my eyes closed so that I don't have to see what little food I had in my stomach splattered all over the cement.

"Come on, I'm taking you to the doctor. This is exactly why I didn't want you leaving the house."

Kirsten grabs my arm and helps me stand up as I wipe my mouth off, and I put half my weight against the woman while trying to convince her that I don't need to see the doctor. As she tries to help me into the car, I stop at the door and lean against it, holding myself up against it weakly.

"Ryan, quit messing around, we need to get you checked out. You've probably pulled some stitches or something."

"I don't want to go to the doctor. Just take my back to the pool house, I'll be okay. I just need to lay down and catch my breath."

She nods her head, telling me no, and she looks at me angrily as I stay in my spot against the door so that she can't open it.

"Ryan Atwood, get into the car right now, you don't have a say in this. If you wouldn't have got in a stupid fight at the cemetery, we wouldn't be in this position. All we ever do is try to help you, and you keep pushing us away, so get into the damn car right this minute before I have to force you into it."

Everything around me seems to stop as Kirsten yells, something I've never really heard her do before, and Seth seems just as taken back as she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, rubbing her hands over her face in an attempt to calm herself.

Seth looks over at me, a shocked look on his face, and I quickly look away as I pull myself away from the car door and open it, climbing in without saying a word. I feel tears stinging at the corner of my eyes as Kirsten and Seth stand outside looking at me, and I stare down at my hands in my lap, wishing I could just get back to the pool house so I can lock myself in.

After a few minutes, the Cohen's take their place in the car and Kirsten quietly starts it up, not saying anything as she pulls onto the road and starts driving in the direction of the house instead of the doctor. When we pull up into the driveway next to Sandy's car, Seth quickly jumps out, leaving Kirsten and I in a very unsettling silence.

"Ryan-"

Before she can get any further than my name, I open the car door and quickly get out, ignoring the pain in my side as I run to the pool house and slam the door closed behind me. I slow my pace as I walk to the bathroom, and as soon as I get in, I lock the door and slam my back against it, sliding down until I'm sitting on the floor with my knees pulled to my chest.

I never thought I would ever be scared of Kirsten, I always thought she'd be like the mother I always wanted. She deserves to be congratulated though, because in that split second that she yelled at me, I felt like I was back in Chino at home, about to get the shit beat out of me. For that split second, Dawn was still alive and standing right in front of me.

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I was going to end the fic in this chapter, but I decided to pull it out a little further, conflict Ryan's life a little more since we have to endure with no O.C. for the rest of the summer.

More Soon. Don't forget to review.