Chapter 5: Depths of a Soul

I wander around the halls. I know these halls so well from my days as a student here that it is impossible for someone to find me without use of the marauders map. It's an added bonus that it's late so no students are up and wandering about to interrupt my thoughts.

'Wonderful birthday this is', I think angrily. 'First the news of and impending attack on Hogwarts then I find out the greasy git has a crush on me'. I wonder how that happened. I'd never been particularly nice to him, that had always been Gen, and sometimes Lily had tried. But then I'd never been mean to him either, I'd always been the bystander laughing at whatever James and Sirius did to him. Truthfully the first time I'd attacked him (not including when I was apprehending him as a death eater) was this past summer. Also I'd never really called him names before that, just Snivellus, and just about everyone had called him Snivellus.

My musings are interrupted as I turn a corner and run into someone in the pitch-black corridors. We both fall to the floor with a crash.

I grab my wand, "Lumos."

Someone else says it as well and seconds later I find myself looking into the eyes of Snape who is illuminated in the light of both of our wands.

I scramble to my feet trying to maintain my dignity and he gets up as well.

"I'm surprised to see you here," he sneers. "I thought you'd still be with Black."

"Well I'd much rather be with him then you," I snap.

For a moment he looks like he's going to reply then he turns on his heel and walks away muttering "nox." Quickly he and his black clothing blend into the night.

More irritated then I had been moments before I head for my office. Not surprisingly Sirius is waiting there for me, slightly more surprising is Dumbledore is also sitting there waiting.

I give the Headmaster an irritated look. "What?"
He stands up and I immediately regret snapping at him. "It is imperative that you get along with Severus."

"Sure," I say sarcasm filling my voice. "Because that greasy git is just so easy to get along with."

Dumbledore looks angry and I'm surprised to find that I don't care.

"Snivellus isn't worth my time," I say angrily.

"INSULTING HIM WILL NOT BRING JAMES BACK," Dumbledore roars.

I'm speechless, I've never heard Dumbledore raise his voice let alone yell. Then the full impact of his words hits me, but before I can say anything Dumbeldore continues.

"I heard what was said between the two of you 15 years ago after his trial, and while I understand your anger Severus couldn't have known that Peter was the spy any more then you or I could have. He hated James thus he didn't really care that he was dead but that does not mean it was at all his fault."

I'm silent, how does Dumbledore know the thoughts I had hidden deep and almost consciously forgotten?

"You are familiar with a death eater who was often referred to as Marauder?"

I'm startled by the sudden change of topic. "Yes." Marauder was what the Ministry had called him because they didn't know his name (it had always irked me that they called him by the name that James and Sirius had called their group). The Marauder was an Auror killer, he'd murdered 12 in total, and I'd almost been the 13th. Though I don't know if I would have counted because it was only my second mission as Mad-Eye's apprentice. We'd been with three other Aurors; the first two had been destroyed so that even all the pieces left of both couldn't fill the palm of my hand. He'd used the Avada Kedavra on the third, then turned to me, laughing. The explosion that he'd caused when he destroyed the first two had caused a large chunk of a building to fall on my legs trapping me there. I'd been as good as dead then Mad-Eye had used Avada Kedavra on him. He was the first and last death eater Mad-Eye killed, he always captured, never killed but he'd changed that to save my life. Thinking of the man known as Marauder always made me feel both guilty and angry, guilty that I'd been the reason that Mad-Eye had had to compromise his own code of behaviour and angry that Marauder had made him do it. So to say I was familiar with the death eater Marauder was a bit of an understatement.

"He was Severus' father."

I stare at Dumbledore in shock.

"Severus came to Hogwarts knowing so many curses because his father had used them on him as a form of punishment. I'm not quite sure what happened to his mother outside of the fact that she died when he was four, though I suspect that her death had been at his father's hands. I tried to get him removed from his fathers custody but the Ministry wouldn't have it, they said that they were too busy with Voldemort to deal with a domestic case."

I feel like I'm going to be sick. Suddenly I feel guilty for every time I ever laughed at Snape, and any time I'd ever made fun of him.

"I'm not asking for you to love him," says Dumbledore gently. "I'm just asking that you don't hate him."

Then the Headmaster leaves leaving me feeling guilty instead of angry.

A/N: k, I had to add that twist to Snape's character after all they have to work together later on so she can't keep hating him. Takes all the fun out of it though. Review people.