Disclaimer: Fox owns the show and everyhing involved.
Last chapter. Sorry it took so long to post, but I was waiting for it to be proofed and the person never responded, so I did what I could with fixing any errors.
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Ryan sits emotionless in the corner of the room, his piercing blue eyes following the older man that moves around, gathering clothes from the temporary dresser and stuffing them into the small duffel bag that's sitting on the end of the bed, it's contents minimal and the possessions not his own. He can feel Ryan watching him from the spot on the floor, his eyes burning holes into the skin, and he can't help but smile to himself, feeling and hoping that the teens life might actually begin to get better with the new arrangement that's been set up for him.
It was a big decision that was made amongst all of them, and the only one that seemed to fit the teens needs most outside of the hospital. He won't have to deal with being in the confining institution anymore, eyes constantly watching his every move and waiting for something to happen, and he won't have to deal with the stresses of going back to Newport and dealing with all the 'snobs' that inhabit the town. That alone is a hard thing to handle, coupled with what he's currently going through, and a horrible disaster would be sure to ensue, so keeping him away from that seems to be the best option at the moment. At the same time, he'll constantly be around someone that he knows, and will hopefully learn to trust more with time.
The older man's line of thought is side tracked when the door to the room opens, and Ryan's gaze slowly drift's to the older woman standing just inside the doorway, a small smile gracing her face as she holds some papers in her hands and walks over to Jimmy just as he zips up the duffel bag, picking it up and throwing it over his shoulder.
"So are we clear to go? Did the doctor sign the discharge papers?"
Kirsten's smile falters ever so slightly and Jimmy knows right away what the answer is to his question without her even needing to open her mouth. The doctor is highly opposed to releasing Ryan from his care, saying that he's a danger to himself and to the community, something that no person wants to hear regarding one of their children, adoptive or not.
Kirsten hands the other man the papers that she's been holding in her hand, and Jimmy pulls her into a hug without bothering to look at them, knowing that she didn't want to have to sign Ryan out of the hospital 'AMA', against medical advice. If anything were to ever happen, the courts can very easily see that Ryan wasn't well when they took him out of the hospital, and they could lose custody of him in an instant. They would be blamed for letting him back into the community even though they were specifically told that he's a danger to everyone.
"I know you wanted the doctor to give you the thumbs up to take him out of here, but sometimes a mother's instincts are more in tune than some doctor's opinions on who's mentally stable and who's not. The doctor said it himself that Ryan may never get better after all of this, so what's the point in keeping him locked up like a caged animal? We both know that it would take a lot to make Ryan snap again, at least he'll have some sort of normalcy in his life outside of these walls."
Kirsten reluctantly nods before turning her head slightly in Ryan's direction, catching his eyes just before he casts them to the ground, a flicker of emotion burning deep within his orbs that she's only able to see in the split second that she sees his eyes. The emotion isn't known right away, but it doesn't matter to the other woman. All she knows is that when she first came here a few days ago, there was no sign of life in the blue eyes, now there's something that's slowly beginning to spark within them ever so lightly.
The smile that died away before returns when she realizes that he's trying to hide the unknown emotion from other eyes like a game of hide and seek, and she pulls away from Jimmy before walking over to the corner that Ryan is sitting in and kneeling down in front of him, gently grabbing his chin and forcing him to look up at her, his eyes staring blankly at a spot somewhere behind the older woman. The emotion that was there before has disappeared for now, but she feels that with time it will come back, make it's presence known when Ryan is ready to display it to the world.
"How about we get you out of this place before you really become crazy from having to deal with such strange people… and that's just the staff. I can think of at least one person that's obviously giddy over your return. I think Sandy's about ready to choke the life out of Seth from rambling non stop about things we stopped trying to figure out long ago. You seem to understand him a lot more than we do these days."
She lightly kisses Ryan on the forehead before grabbing his hands and pulling him to his feet, and Jimmy wraps his arm around the teens shoulder as Kirsten opens the door and they walk out of the room, the doctor looking at them in a disapproving manner as Ryan focuses his eyes on the tiled floor below him, allowing himself to be taken outside where Sandy's waiting next to a rental car, the trunk open and three duffel bags occupying the space while the fourth is taken from Jimmy and fit in right next to them. After closing the trunk, Sandy walks over to Ryan and wraps his arms around the thin teen, kissing the top of his head before releasing his grip and following everyone as they get into the car, Ryan sitting in the back seat with Kirsten, his hand grasped firmly between hers in her lap.
"Is everyone settled in?"
Sandy waits for everyone's silent replies before putting the car in gear and driving towards the airport, glancing back at the teen in the rear view mirror every few minutes, the blue eyes staring out the window like he's really deep in though about something unknown.
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The short flight back to California and the ride to the apartment just outside of Newport seems longer then what it really is, and the three adults let out a silent sigh of relief when they finally get to the apartment building, their nerves building up inside awaiting to see how Ryan reacts to being out of the hospital, and more specific, being back in California where all of his problems first began. They thought that getting him not only from Newport and Chino, but away from the state in general would help him get through things, but it's evident that something as simple as that wouldn't make much of a difference on the things that are going through Ryan's mind.
He follows Kirsten like an attached puppy up to the apartment door while Sandy and Jimmy stay behind to get the duffel bags, and the older woman notices Ryan step behind her as she slides the key into the lock, turning it slowly before pushing the door open and stepping inside, Ryan following cautiously when he sees Seth standing just inside the door, a smile on his face.
The two brothers stare at each other for a brief moment before Seth gets around his mom and wraps his arms around Ryan, pulling him into a tight hug. The disappointment in Seth's face is evident as Ryan's arms stay limp at his side, but he tries to act unphased as he grabs the silent teen by the wrist and pulls him from behind Kirsten, hearing the door close behind them when Jimmy and Sandy finally reach the apartment door, Ryan and Jimmy's duffel bags being carried over their shoulder's.
"Seth honey, why don't you take Ryan upstairs and help him get settled into his room, your father and I will come to get you when it's time to go."
Seth nods his head before taking off up the stairs two at a time, Ryan glancing at the adults for a split second before slowly making his way up the steps, following the sound of his name until he comes to a room at the end of the hallway that Seth is standing in.
The walls lack any sort of decoration other than the light blue paint and a shelf that sits on one side, and Ryan slowly walks over to it and stares at the multiple picture frames that are sitting on it, the smile of his past encased in the glass that's protecting the short lived memories. Pictures of random charity evens reflect the slight smile that Ryan held at them, the teen wishing that he could escape back to the pool house where it was quiet and he could be alone.
Seth sits on the edge of the bed watching his adopted brother, his mind reeling with thoughts of what to say to the other man. Coming up with things to say has never been a hard task for him to accomplish, but at this moment in time, after everything his parents have told him about the "new" Ryan, he isn't sure what not to say to prevent the teen from going off on him. The last time he had seen Ryan, he wasn't so sure he wanted the other boy to be part of his family anymore after seeing him hit Sandy, the hatred in his eyes shining above everything else as he watched the other teen storm out of the house.
His insides kept yelling at him to go after Ryan, to keep him from doing anything stupid after the things he had been dealing with, but all he could do was stare at the open door, his fists clinched unconsciously at his side. He knew if he did go after Ryan, he would regret something that would definitely be said or done, and he didn't want to have to put either of them through that with their current situation.
"So Ryan… do you want to play some video games or something? Jimmy put a whole set-up in here for you."
The sudden voice in the room catches Ryan off guard, causing him to drop the picture that he had picked up from off the shelf, the glass cracking right across Ryan's face in the picture. Seth reaches down to pick up the picture, examining the broken glass before trying to hand it back to Ryan, but the teen backs away from Seth's outstretched hand, looking at the picture frame like it's going to burn him if he gets too close to it.
"Hey man, it's only a little crack, no big deal."
When Seth realizes that Ryan's not going to take the picture, he sets it back on the shelf where it was before, watching out of the corner of his eye as Ryan cautiously walks over to the bed and sits down, his eyes staring blankly at the large entertainment center in front of him that's equipped with a TV, DVD Player, and multiple game systems. After a few seconds of just watching him, Seth walks over to the bed and sits next to his brother, still wondering what he could possibly say to a person he feels that he doesn't really even know anymore.
Seeing all of the stages Ryan has gone through since he first came to Newport, it all seems like his life was suddenly put in fast forward when he found out that his mom died, and someone decided to play a cruel joke on him and hit the pause button now, locking him in a world of silence and mistrust. On the rare chance that he does actually talk now, it's only to Jimmy, which is why he is now living with the older man. In staying on the outskirts of town, he won't have to deal with being thrust back into the Newport life and all the stress it causes.
"Do you want me to just go Ryan? I'm sure you're tired from the flight and stuff. I'll just lea-"
"I'm sorry."
Seth looks at Ryan a bit confused, caught off by hearing Ryan's voice so broken and empty, and before he can ask what the other is sorry for, Ryan continues just above a whisper, causing Seth to lean in a bit closer so that he's able to hear him properly.
"I shouldn't have hit Sandy, you have every right to hate me."
"Ryan man, that's in the past. We're starting over, clean slate. Everything bad that ever happened before today, forgotten; it doesn't matter anymore."
Ryan doesn't say anything else, just sits motionless on the bed, and Seth shifts around next to him uncomfortably knowing deep inside that Ryan doesn't agree with his statement. The past can never be forgotten, not for Ryan, and it will always matter to the teen. His past has made him who he is today, the empty shell that's afraid of everyone and everything, and he'll always blame the people from his past for it.
"Seth, we've got to get going, it's starting to get late and you've got school in the morning."
Seth turns his head at the sound of Kirsten's voice, and Ryan does the same just as the adults walk into the room, Kirsten in the lead with Sandy and Jimmy behind her. She goes straight for Ryan and pulls him up off the bed to his feet, hugging him tight enough so he's unable to breathe for a minute before Sandy pulls her away and takes over, hugging lighter than his wife.
"If you ever need anything, you can call us day or night and we'll be here. You have both of our cell phone numbers, and you can call them anytime, at least one of them will always be on. We'll come by to check on you and you can come by the house anytime you want to just hang out or spend the night, you're always welcome."
Sandy pulls away mid sentence and Ryan stares anywhere but his eyes, listening to the man's ramblings before his body is crushed against Seth's, the teens arms wrapping around the thin body as if he were his lifeline. Jimmy notices the panicked look etching across Ryan's face when Seth doesn't let go after a moment, and he lightly pulls the two away from each other, laughing and patting Seth on the back as he quietly apologizes to Ryan.
"Okay, so I think Ryan's had enough hugging for one day. Maybe we'll come over for dinner or something next week if he's feeling up to it."
Ryan stands near Jimmy, his eyes now cast to the ground, and Jimmy rests his hand on his shoulder squeezing it gently to try and reassure the tense teen as the Cohen's agree and say 'goodbye' one last time before leaving the room, the apartment door down stairs closing moments later.
The second the door closes downstairs, Ryan falls back onto the bed, catching Jimmy off guard for a moment and causing him to jump. Ryan doesn't notice the other man's reaction as he pulls himself up the bed until his head lands on the pillow, laying on his side with his back to the shelve of pictures and Jimmy.
"Tomorrow we'll worry about getting you unpacked and buying some stuff for your room. Sandy brought over the stuff from the pool house, and Kirsten brought over some pictures that she found in a photo album she's been working on."
Ryan listens to the movement of Jimmy walking around behind him, and he struggles to keep his eyes open. This will be the first time in weeks that he'll be able to fall asleep without the aid of medication, and he can't help but wonder why he was ever given sleeping pills in the first place. He never had a problem going to sleep, in fact he wished he could do nothing but sleep, but it seems that the doctor got things backwards.
"We'll try to take this week slow to kind of get you settled in. You've got an appointment scheduled with Sarah Johnson on Wednesday, she's one of the highest rated psychologist in California. She's already been filled in on the basics, but she said she wants to figure everything else out by meeting with you. She's really good, and I hope you give her a chance."
Ryan averts his eyes from the wall across the room to the man sitting on the edge of the bed when he feels the mattress dip down suddenly, and he closes his eyes when he sees the broken picture in Jimmy's hand. His fight to stay conscious is becoming a losing battle, and he struggles to open his eyes a slit when Jimmy quietly talks again.
"What happened to the picture?"
Ryan stares at the picture through blurred vision, tears beginning to sting at the corners of his eyes, and he turns his head and buries his face in the pillow, feeling a hand resting on his back as he does so.
"Ryan-"
"I'll always be broken."
Jimmy stares down at Ryan, his heart jumping into his throat at the muffled words coming from the teens mouth, and he struggles with his own tears as he leans down so their heads are touching, listening to the sound of Ryan sniffling into the pillow. The body under his hand begins to shake as muffled sobs begin to fill the room, and Jimmy pulls Ryan closer to him, whispering in his ear.
"We're going to do everything we can to fix whatever you feel is broken. And I promise, things will get better from here."
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El Fin.
There will be a sequel, but I'm not sure when. The whole reason I'm ending it right now is because I can't seem to keep up with it, so I figured I'd end it for the time being so I can get caught up with other things. Believe me, I've got over twenty current unfinished fics, and I'm trying to end them all right now. Not an easy task. Hope you enjoyed, thx for all the reviews (although it seems that all my reviewers have disappeared by now).