A/N: Okay, I decided that I should explain some things to you before I
write anymore. The whole dream thing was just done out of boredom and more
as a joke to a friend than intended to be part of the story, but my
reviewers liked it so we decided to keep it. My cowriter thought it was an
interesting twist. It was meant to just be more of a 'that's fuckin
stupid' thing than as part of the story. We wrote it for the laughs.
Forgive me if you think it was retarded or whatever. And your sense of
humor probably isn't anywhere like mine, so just ignore those parts.
Nothing is depressing me anymore so I may not upload very often.
(Depression helps me write, so I suffer when I'm happy!) So enjoy the
uploads. Please review ya'll! I feel like hardly anyone is reading it.
If I don't get at least three review alerts for this chapter, this will be
it, and I'm not joking this time. I write it for you people, and even
though some parts are stupid, I try to entertain you. And for the ebonics
I use, I'm from the South. Ya'll is as common as grass. The whole 'lata'
thing is just what a friend says, and I don't mean to sound like I'm trying
to be into r&b or rap. I'll try to watch it. This is my therapy, so just
humor me and review, please!! Okay, I'll shut up now. For those of you
that asked, my msn account is the same as my address except instead of juno
it's hotmail. DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters you recognize
and if I owned Gordo, I'd be busy with him, so don't sue me. Unless you're
calling me Sue Ellen!
Life As We Know It
Chapter 10
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
(IN PARENTS' BEDROOM) "Lizzie, I want to talk to you about what I heard."
"That depends on what you heard. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm talking about Matt and Miranda's baby. Is that the truth? Is he really the father of her child?"
"Yes, he is the father of her child. I don't want to go into details, because that would be beyond gag-worthy for me. But he really is the father. As much as he loves Miranda, I'm surprised at him crying. I figured that he would be beyond thrilled at the thought of being a father and sharing a baby with Miranda. I'm just glad that there's only one pregnant teenager in this house, and that it's not me. I'm not saying that I'm having sex, I'm just saying that babies are so sweet, but not for me as a mother, just an aunt."
"Good. We've already established that. So I guess I'm going to get to be a grandmother after all. I always wanted to be one since you two became so independent and were gone all the time with your friends. That doesn't mean that I'm giving you permission to have sex, just that Miranda's having a baby isn't the worst thing I could think of."
"Now that that's over with, do you know when it's due?"
"No, when I heard you and Miranda talking and her saying Matt was the dad, I lost it and have been crying in my room since then. I just came out when I heard Matt crying, and when one of my babies cry, I have to hide my crying. That's when you almost ran me over and here we are now," her mother said, finally quitting her crying spell.
"What are you going to do now? I mean, after you tell Dad? You know he'll throw a huge fit when he finds out. If he's anything like the Dad I know, then he'll really blow a fuse."
"I'll tell him when he comes home, but first I have to talk to Matt and Miranda. We have to figure out what we're gonna do. When I talked to her mother, she talked like she was going to kick her out. Once she finds out that Matt is the father, she'll make her move in with us. I have no problem with it, but it's just her making Miranda feel unwanted. She talked like she hated her. I just don't know why she has to be so mean to her. It was a dumb mistake, but that doesn't mean that she can't be forgiven. She should be there for her, not pushing her away. If it was you, God forbid, I'd be very mad, but I'd still love you. It's not like you wouldn't still be my daughter. I'd be there for you, and you know that, don't you?"
"Yes, mom. But I'm worried that Matt is going to have to grow up too quickly. I know he made a mistake, but that doesn't mean that he has to completely lose whatever he has that resembles a life. He can be mature when he needs to be, but that doesn't mean that he always does. He needs to be able to have a completely irresponsible day one more time before he becomes a dad. And you know that once she has the baby, she'll be living here. Her mom has as good as kicked her out and Matt isn't ready to be left alone with a child, let alone one he fathered. I love both of them, but I think that they are going to need some time with just them and the baby, without any of us. I don't know what yours and dad's policy is on raising babies is, but I think that they should live on their own some. It would get them out of expecting you and dad to raise them and their baby. Matt is too much of a Mama's boy to live away from you very long."
"Lizzie, I know you don't like your brother, but you're talking about kicking them out, which is something we can't do. That's not gonna happen. We will make them stay here with your grandmother or someone while we go on our yearly family vacation. And we will let you bring Gordo along, but ya'll can't stay in the same room. We wanted to surprise you, but under the circumstances, I guess you can know now. If I open the bag, I might as well let the cat out. Our family vacation this year is in the Bahamas. I just wish that your brother wasn't the father, because if he wasn't, he wouldn't have to have as much responsibility for the baby. This just changes everything! We planned the vacation the beginning of May, and we finished planning two weeks ago. I just got off the phone with the travel agency and we're leaving next Tuesday. I was planning on taking you shopping for some new clothes and a few new bathing suits. We're staying for two weeks. And I wish your brother was able to go, but I know that our father would agree that he should be grounded."
"Like I said, he made a mistake, and he shouldn't have to live under house- arrest just because he got Miranda pregnant. It isn't fair to make him miss a sure-to-be-wonderful trip to the Bahamas. Please don't make him stay home!"
"I'm going to have to talk to your father, but I don't really see that we have any choice. Nothing's set in stone yet, but we're definitely going to have to punish him somehow."
"That's not fair! If it was me, would you make me stay home from the Bahamas?"
"We'd treat you and Matt the same. Whatever we do to him would be the same as whatever I'd do to you. It's not like we treat you two any differently. We are as fair as we can be."
"Yeah, whatever. I better go and see if Miranda and Matt are still talking. Maybe they're done crying."
LIZZIE'S POV
(OUTSIDE MATT'S ROOM)
They've finally quit crying! Now we all can talk to Mom. I better knock first.
"Come in," came the voice from inside the room. Matt came to the door, wiping his tear-stained face. Miranda was sitting on the bed, still quietly crying. When I came in, she wiped her eyes, got up, and hugged me.
"Mom knows. She heard. And she wants to talk to you now. She's not too happy. I wouldn't keep her waiting."
"Shit!" Matt said under his breath. He followed that up with a string of barely understandable curse words.
"Shh!" Miranda said, putting her hands on his lips. She put his hands in hers and kissed him on the lips. "We better go talk to her. And then we'll have to talk to your dad. This isn't going to be easy," she said, pulling him out of the room. I followed slowly behind.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"I wish you would, but you don't have to," Matt said, turning around to talk to me.
"Thanks for being there. It really means a lot. I love you, big sis."
"I love you too, lil bro. I'll go with you for moral support."
(IN PARENT'S ROOM)
"Matt, Miranda, we need to talk. I heard you two and I heard Miranda and Lizzie," she said, and Miranda almost fainted.
"What exactly did you hear, Mrs. McGuire?"
"I heard you two talk about her being pregnant by Matt and I left the room after that. I was crying for a while, and then I heard you and Matt talking. When Lizzie left the room, she almost plowed me over. Then she and I talked for a while and she came and got you two. Matt, I'm going to have to talk to you privately with your father and you, but right now, I just want you to know that I know you two are having a baby and I'm not too happy about it. But I'm not kicking you out. I still love you, but I think it's fair to say that I'm very pissed. And that's not going to change anytime soon. And I also want you to know that this is going to change a lot of things. So don't expect this to be like you getting home late or something. It's a whole lot worse, so just keep that in mind."
"Yes, Mom. I know. And we're sorry for what we did." "You'll have plenty of time to apologize later. Right now we need to make arrangements for our new family member."
"The baby isn't due for another eight months."
"I was talking about Miranda, Matt. Her mother has pretty much kicked her out, so she is going to be living with us for now. We've got to figure out whose room she's going to be in, and Matt, don't you even open your mouth," she said, and Matt closed his mouth as soon as he opened it, making him look like a fish.
"Mom, she can stay in my room and I can bring in the air mattress for me. Then she won't be in Matt's room and I won't have to live on the couch. Is that okay with you, Miranda?"
"Of course! Then you and I can stay up all night talking like we always do. And no one has to sleep on the couch. You don't mind sleeping on the air mattress do you? I mean your bed is like a king size, and we both could fit in it with room to spare."
"I think I'll stick with the air mattress. You kick too much in your sleep. If Mom doesn't mind, I guess that's what we'll do. Do you think that's okay, Mom?"
"It sounds perfect to me. I love the idea, and you all are coming together so well! I knew this would change our relationships, but I didn't expect it to change us this soon! Now we have to figure out where all of everyone's stuff is going to go. I mean, the guest room is the computer room right now, so the only way we can use it is if we keep everyone's clothes in it or put some of Matt's stuff in there and put your stuff in his room."
"No offense anyone, but I think that the first idea was better. They can put some of Lizzie's less important crap in the computer room. You know, the computer that's in the office can go in yours and Dad's room. Or the fax machine and copier can go in your room, Miranda can use Lizzie's room, and you two can keep your computer in there. Then I can move my futon into Lizzie's room and the bed can go into the guest room."
"Matt, I don't think Lizzie would like sleeping on your futon, and you probably can figure out why, but I don't have a problem with sleeping on it. But other than that, I couldn't love your plan more."
"Nice try, Matt, but you're not going to keep your sister on your futon and Miranda on her bed. We'll just have to bring Miranda's bed from her house and follow through with your plan. We'll move the computer, copier, and fax machine into our room. She can put her clothes into Lizzie's room somewhere, and then when the baby comes, the room will have her bed and the baby's furniture. Plus, her room is by Lizzie's, so she won't have to walk far if she needs her. But there will be no sneaking out of the house together, do you understand?
"Of course," Matt and Miranda said together. She'll never know if I sneak out and see Gordo, because she'll be so busy with the baby or the expecting couple that she won't have time to bother me. Right now, I've got a spotless image in their eyes. I mean, their other child is the father of a teenager's baby, and he's fifteen. There's just something wrong about that. So now, they think I'm obedient.
She just doesn't know that tonight I'm meeting Gordo at midnight in the hot tub. Things just might get a little hot! And I'm wearing my new bikini. It's a hot-pink Brazilian, and I know he's going to enjoy that. But he hinted that he might 'forget his trunks'. I know he's always wanted to do that. (A/N: Skinny-dip for the ignurt ppl out there.) Anyway, my parents don't know that we're going to sneak out. And it's on the opposite of the house than their room, so it's not like they're going to see us. They wouldn't see us if we got in the pool, either, which we just might. Gordo has no idea what he's getting himself into. But he's gonna like it.
"Ya'll its noon, and I'm hungry, so I'm going to meet Gordo at the DB for lunch, unless you have plans."
"No, that's fine."
"Thanks mom, do you want me to bring anything back for you to eat?"
"No. I'm not hungry, and I figure we'll be here for a while. Thanks anyway. Have fun!"
"Okay. I'll see you later. Love ya'll, bye!"
"Bye!" they said in unison, as I walked out the door.
(IN PARENTS' BEDROOM) "Lizzie, I want to talk to you about what I heard."
"That depends on what you heard. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm talking about Matt and Miranda's baby. Is that the truth? Is he really the father of her child?"
"Yes, he is the father of her child. I don't want to go into details, because that would be beyond gag-worthy for me. But he really is the father. As much as he loves Miranda, I'm surprised at him crying. I figured that he would be beyond thrilled at the thought of being a father and sharing a baby with Miranda. I'm just glad that there's only one pregnant teenager in this house, and that it's not me. I'm not saying that I'm having sex, I'm just saying that babies are so sweet, but not for me as a mother, just an aunt."
"Good. We've already established that. So I guess I'm going to get to be a grandmother after all. I always wanted to be one since you two became so independent and were gone all the time with your friends. That doesn't mean that I'm giving you permission to have sex, just that Miranda's having a baby isn't the worst thing I could think of."
"Now that that's over with, do you know when it's due?"
"No, when I heard you and Miranda talking and her saying Matt was the dad, I lost it and have been crying in my room since then. I just came out when I heard Matt crying, and when one of my babies cry, I have to hide my crying. That's when you almost ran me over and here we are now," her mother said, finally quitting her crying spell.
"What are you going to do now? I mean, after you tell Dad? You know he'll throw a huge fit when he finds out. If he's anything like the Dad I know, then he'll really blow a fuse."
"I'll tell him when he comes home, but first I have to talk to Matt and Miranda. We have to figure out what we're gonna do. When I talked to her mother, she talked like she was going to kick her out. Once she finds out that Matt is the father, she'll make her move in with us. I have no problem with it, but it's just her making Miranda feel unwanted. She talked like she hated her. I just don't know why she has to be so mean to her. It was a dumb mistake, but that doesn't mean that she can't be forgiven. She should be there for her, not pushing her away. If it was you, God forbid, I'd be very mad, but I'd still love you. It's not like you wouldn't still be my daughter. I'd be there for you, and you know that, don't you?"
"Yes, mom. But I'm worried that Matt is going to have to grow up too quickly. I know he made a mistake, but that doesn't mean that he has to completely lose whatever he has that resembles a life. He can be mature when he needs to be, but that doesn't mean that he always does. He needs to be able to have a completely irresponsible day one more time before he becomes a dad. And you know that once she has the baby, she'll be living here. Her mom has as good as kicked her out and Matt isn't ready to be left alone with a child, let alone one he fathered. I love both of them, but I think that they are going to need some time with just them and the baby, without any of us. I don't know what yours and dad's policy is on raising babies is, but I think that they should live on their own some. It would get them out of expecting you and dad to raise them and their baby. Matt is too much of a Mama's boy to live away from you very long."
"Lizzie, I know you don't like your brother, but you're talking about kicking them out, which is something we can't do. That's not gonna happen. We will make them stay here with your grandmother or someone while we go on our yearly family vacation. And we will let you bring Gordo along, but ya'll can't stay in the same room. We wanted to surprise you, but under the circumstances, I guess you can know now. If I open the bag, I might as well let the cat out. Our family vacation this year is in the Bahamas. I just wish that your brother wasn't the father, because if he wasn't, he wouldn't have to have as much responsibility for the baby. This just changes everything! We planned the vacation the beginning of May, and we finished planning two weeks ago. I just got off the phone with the travel agency and we're leaving next Tuesday. I was planning on taking you shopping for some new clothes and a few new bathing suits. We're staying for two weeks. And I wish your brother was able to go, but I know that our father would agree that he should be grounded."
"Like I said, he made a mistake, and he shouldn't have to live under house- arrest just because he got Miranda pregnant. It isn't fair to make him miss a sure-to-be-wonderful trip to the Bahamas. Please don't make him stay home!"
"I'm going to have to talk to your father, but I don't really see that we have any choice. Nothing's set in stone yet, but we're definitely going to have to punish him somehow."
"That's not fair! If it was me, would you make me stay home from the Bahamas?"
"We'd treat you and Matt the same. Whatever we do to him would be the same as whatever I'd do to you. It's not like we treat you two any differently. We are as fair as we can be."
"Yeah, whatever. I better go and see if Miranda and Matt are still talking. Maybe they're done crying."
LIZZIE'S POV
(OUTSIDE MATT'S ROOM)
They've finally quit crying! Now we all can talk to Mom. I better knock first.
"Come in," came the voice from inside the room. Matt came to the door, wiping his tear-stained face. Miranda was sitting on the bed, still quietly crying. When I came in, she wiped her eyes, got up, and hugged me.
"Mom knows. She heard. And she wants to talk to you now. She's not too happy. I wouldn't keep her waiting."
"Shit!" Matt said under his breath. He followed that up with a string of barely understandable curse words.
"Shh!" Miranda said, putting her hands on his lips. She put his hands in hers and kissed him on the lips. "We better go talk to her. And then we'll have to talk to your dad. This isn't going to be easy," she said, pulling him out of the room. I followed slowly behind.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"I wish you would, but you don't have to," Matt said, turning around to talk to me.
"Thanks for being there. It really means a lot. I love you, big sis."
"I love you too, lil bro. I'll go with you for moral support."
(IN PARENT'S ROOM)
"Matt, Miranda, we need to talk. I heard you two and I heard Miranda and Lizzie," she said, and Miranda almost fainted.
"What exactly did you hear, Mrs. McGuire?"
"I heard you two talk about her being pregnant by Matt and I left the room after that. I was crying for a while, and then I heard you and Matt talking. When Lizzie left the room, she almost plowed me over. Then she and I talked for a while and she came and got you two. Matt, I'm going to have to talk to you privately with your father and you, but right now, I just want you to know that I know you two are having a baby and I'm not too happy about it. But I'm not kicking you out. I still love you, but I think it's fair to say that I'm very pissed. And that's not going to change anytime soon. And I also want you to know that this is going to change a lot of things. So don't expect this to be like you getting home late or something. It's a whole lot worse, so just keep that in mind."
"Yes, Mom. I know. And we're sorry for what we did." "You'll have plenty of time to apologize later. Right now we need to make arrangements for our new family member."
"The baby isn't due for another eight months."
"I was talking about Miranda, Matt. Her mother has pretty much kicked her out, so she is going to be living with us for now. We've got to figure out whose room she's going to be in, and Matt, don't you even open your mouth," she said, and Matt closed his mouth as soon as he opened it, making him look like a fish.
"Mom, she can stay in my room and I can bring in the air mattress for me. Then she won't be in Matt's room and I won't have to live on the couch. Is that okay with you, Miranda?"
"Of course! Then you and I can stay up all night talking like we always do. And no one has to sleep on the couch. You don't mind sleeping on the air mattress do you? I mean your bed is like a king size, and we both could fit in it with room to spare."
"I think I'll stick with the air mattress. You kick too much in your sleep. If Mom doesn't mind, I guess that's what we'll do. Do you think that's okay, Mom?"
"It sounds perfect to me. I love the idea, and you all are coming together so well! I knew this would change our relationships, but I didn't expect it to change us this soon! Now we have to figure out where all of everyone's stuff is going to go. I mean, the guest room is the computer room right now, so the only way we can use it is if we keep everyone's clothes in it or put some of Matt's stuff in there and put your stuff in his room."
"No offense anyone, but I think that the first idea was better. They can put some of Lizzie's less important crap in the computer room. You know, the computer that's in the office can go in yours and Dad's room. Or the fax machine and copier can go in your room, Miranda can use Lizzie's room, and you two can keep your computer in there. Then I can move my futon into Lizzie's room and the bed can go into the guest room."
"Matt, I don't think Lizzie would like sleeping on your futon, and you probably can figure out why, but I don't have a problem with sleeping on it. But other than that, I couldn't love your plan more."
"Nice try, Matt, but you're not going to keep your sister on your futon and Miranda on her bed. We'll just have to bring Miranda's bed from her house and follow through with your plan. We'll move the computer, copier, and fax machine into our room. She can put her clothes into Lizzie's room somewhere, and then when the baby comes, the room will have her bed and the baby's furniture. Plus, her room is by Lizzie's, so she won't have to walk far if she needs her. But there will be no sneaking out of the house together, do you understand?
"Of course," Matt and Miranda said together. She'll never know if I sneak out and see Gordo, because she'll be so busy with the baby or the expecting couple that she won't have time to bother me. Right now, I've got a spotless image in their eyes. I mean, their other child is the father of a teenager's baby, and he's fifteen. There's just something wrong about that. So now, they think I'm obedient.
She just doesn't know that tonight I'm meeting Gordo at midnight in the hot tub. Things just might get a little hot! And I'm wearing my new bikini. It's a hot-pink Brazilian, and I know he's going to enjoy that. But he hinted that he might 'forget his trunks'. I know he's always wanted to do that. (A/N: Skinny-dip for the ignurt ppl out there.) Anyway, my parents don't know that we're going to sneak out. And it's on the opposite of the house than their room, so it's not like they're going to see us. They wouldn't see us if we got in the pool, either, which we just might. Gordo has no idea what he's getting himself into. But he's gonna like it.
"Ya'll its noon, and I'm hungry, so I'm going to meet Gordo at the DB for lunch, unless you have plans."
"No, that's fine."
"Thanks mom, do you want me to bring anything back for you to eat?"
"No. I'm not hungry, and I figure we'll be here for a while. Thanks anyway. Have fun!"
"Okay. I'll see you later. Love ya'll, bye!"
"Bye!" they said in unison, as I walked out the door.