Disclaimer: No, I don't own a thing. And the lyric belongs to Britney Spears 'Shadow'
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Thanks to:
kitty: H/I is your favourite pair? Great, because it's mine too And thank you for your words, I hope you like this chapter. Ja ne!
Estelle Stafford: Is this soon enough?
Ikhny87: Stalk me? Oh no, you don't! And I'm not going to quit on you, if I started this fic; I'm going to finish it. Just...don't leave me here, writing for nothing, ok? H/I 4ever, right? hehe
JS: Personally, I don't like yaoi fics so, don't get any ideas, ok? Hope you continue to like it.
GetHika: Thank you for your words and I know Kizna/Zero fics are rare to find but as you can see, I'm wrtting one You may not find lost of Zero/Kizna stuff now, but just wait, I think you'll like the next chapters «wink»
Important note: Before any of you thinks I've forgotten: FELIZ NATAL...I mean...HAPPY X-MAS!
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Chapter 2: Memories & Tears
"You know, I'm scared." Kizna whispered while Zero laid over the green grass, his arms crossed behind his neck.
"Hum...why?" the brown haired boy asked, raising his eyebrow
"Haven't you thought about the reason Azuma made us fight against the others, so sudden? I mean it was our hour to relax."
Zero shrugged before gazing up:
"Who cares, I showed him I could beat those guys anytime, anywhere."
"Baka!" Kizna exclaimed suddenly, hitting him on the stomach
"Ouch! What's your idea!" Zero asked, sitting next to her
"Haven't you thought about what could have happened, if we hadn't called Ikhny and Hiead?" the pink haired girl asked annoyed
"Hum...no, why? I don't give a damn about what Hiead does." Zero replied, once again crossing his arms behind his neck.
"Well, I do." Kizna replies, softly "What could have happened if he missed training?"
Zero stared oddly at the pink haired girl:
"Curse until the end of time?"
"Baka!" Kizna exclaimed, smacking him on the top oh his his head "He could have done something to
Ikhny!"
"Iknhy? Why should he do something to her? It's not like she knew." Zero commented, scratching the top of his head.
"Oh, Zero!" Kizna exclaimed, "You know how he likes to abuse her! Sometimes I don't understand how she puts up with him."
"Maybe..." Zero trailed off.
"What?" Kizna inquired as she flicked her ears towards him, and Zero shrugged:
"I don't know, maybe she's scared of him. Maybe it's because of that she doesn't quit. Besides, it's not like she has a choice, is it?"
Kizna looked down, and shook her head:
"No, she's stuck with him...forever."
Both stood in silence for a second until Zero puts his arm around Kizna shoulders:
"Lets go, the lights are almost out."
Nodding Kizna got up, close followed by Zero, and still in silence, both start to walk towards their rooms.
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Afraid, sad, hurt...lost. Those feelings...he knew them to well...he knew what they did, he knew what caused them...he knew he could never escape from them, if there wasn't a single person to help.
Everything was strange for him; he was feeling guilty, and he didn't know why...he was feeling sorry, though he didn't want to. What the hell was going wrong with him?
'Nothing is wrong with me; it's the weakling who's making me feel this. Oh, she's going to pay. She's weak, that needs my help for everything, but she has to be a stupid little girl that makes me feel sorry! Oh, she's going to pay! Oh yes, she will.'
Closing his eyes Hiead took a deep breath, and before he knew it he was dreaming. It was the same dream, again. For the last couple of months, he would always have the same dream. And it was a strange one...
He was running again; running for something that scared him more than anything in his life. He knew he had to keep running, or he would be killed. But no matter how hard he tried, the same people would always catch him and almost torture him, if it wasn't for the weapon he had in his hand.
He would always point the revolver towards the men in front of him, and when all of them were prepared to attack him, he would shot them. One of them, though he had been shot right on his chest, was still able to approach the scary child and grab him, before falling limp on the ground.
Blood was all over his face, and some had even fallen on his clothes, but that did not matter. His hand was trembling...he was trembling not only because he was scared and afraid, but because he had also been hurt and now he was lost. Four feelings he hated to feel on his chest, but that were the only feelings he was allowed to feel on that moment.
He could feel his feet walking somewhere he didn't knew, some place where he wanted to hide and forever cry because of the hard and horrible time he had been through. But when he last expected a brown haired girl appeared in front of him. He had never seen her before yet she would always appear in his dreams and even when he was awake. She had a small smile on her face, pity all over her eyes yet she also had a loving look:
"Hiead..." she whispered, extending her hand "Let me help you..."
He did not know what to do; he wanted to accept her help, but at the same time he knew he did not need anyone...no one would be able to help him. Suddenly, he was he again...seventeen-years older, black outfit...cold eyes. Looking down to her hand, he sneered:
"I don't need your help!" he snapped, throwing her hand away from him "I'm not weak, I don't need anyone!"
The girl looked at him:
"Don't try to forget your past, Hiead." she started "You know you need to face it to turn into a better person."
"I don't want to become a better person!" he exclaimed angrily "I'm happy for being who I am."
Suddenly the girl looked right into his eyes, and though he did not want to, he felt himself tremble:
"Are you sure?" she asked softly "There are people out there who care for you Hiead, why do you run from them? You know you need help, and I can help you."
Once again, she extended her hand, and once again he sneered:
"No!" he exclaimed this time throwing her backwards "I don't need help, especially yours!"
The girl licked her lips before looking towards him:
"Or you change, or you'll be forever alone." she says, before disappearing.
Hiead opened his eyes, but when he was about to sit on his bed, he heard a yawn:
"I'm so tired." a voice mumbled, and Hiead rolled his eyes:.
'Enna will be forever a baka.' he thought
"Well, better get some sleep or Azuma will get to my nerves."
Some minutes later, when Zero's snores filled the room, Hiead sit on his bed, and looked up:
"I'm fine alone..." he whispered "And that's how I want to be."
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'Zero is a baka most of the times but, now, he said something right. I mean, maybe Ikhny is too scared of Hiead to ask to change partners. Wait, Azuma said we couldn't. Damn, I feel so sorry for Ikhny, she doesn't deserve an idiot like Hiead. No, Hiead is the one that doesn't deserve Ikhny; she's always trying so hard to be a good repairer and Hiead has never said a simple 'thank you'. How can a person be so cold?' Kizna asked herself, while she walks inside the room she shared with Ikhny.
Everything was dark and Kizna could almost swear her roommate was asleep, if it hadn't been for the hiccup she had heard right after she gave the first step inside the room:
"Ikhny?" she asked, trying to see her roommate in the middle of the dark
"Hai?" a soft and tremble voice asked back, and Kizna flicked her ears towards the voice:
"Are you ok?"
"Hai." the brunette replied still in the dark
"Then is it ok if I turn some light on?" and before Ikhny could answer, Kizna touched the switch on, and opened her eyes wide when she noticed Ikhny's pale face, red eyes and tears still falling down her cheeks "Ikhny, what happened?" she asked, running towards her friend
"Nothing." Ikhny replied
"Hiead did something he shouldn't, didn't he?"
"Iie!" Ikhny exclaimed, "This doesn't have to do with Hiead."
Kizna rose and eyebrow, and sit beside her friend:
"So, why are you crying?"
Ikhny shook her head:
"I don't know." she whispered "I...I was thinking if I'm..."
"What?" Kizna inquired right after her friend had fallen in silence, and Ikhny shook her head again:
"I...I just miss my parents." she self-whispered
"Oh." Kizna replied "Did something happened?"
For the third time, Ikhny shook her head:
"No, I just...miss home."
"I know what you mean." Kizna agreed before resting a hand over her friend's shoulder "But there's no need to cry; if you need to talk, I'm here."
"Arigatou." Ikhny replied, the corner of her lips curling up into a small smile "You're a great friend, Kizna."
"You too, Ikhny." Kizna replied before getting up "Well, I'm going to take a bath, and when I come out I want to see you smiling, ok?"
Ikhny nodded:
"Hai."
Smiling Kizna grabbed her towel from inside of one of the drawers of a closet, on the opposite side of the door that lead to the room, and entered inside the bathroom.
When she's finally alone, Ikhny took her spectacles off, and wiped her tears before taking a deep breath:
'Am I a good partner?' she asks, at the same time she heard water running 'I mustn't be, or Hiead wouldn't treat me like he does. But, if he wants me to change, he could say in what, couldn't he?' looking towards her side Ikhny saw a picture of her parents 'Mum, Dad, what should I do?'
Taking a deep breath, Ikhny started singing:
"Your body's warm
But you are not
You give a little
Not a lot
You coup your love
Until we kiss
You're all I want
But not like this
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon
And leaving too soon"
Without Ikhny noticing Kizna opened the bathroom door slightly, and stared towards her friend with her ears up in the air, trying to catch the song.
"Your body gives
But then holds back
The sun is bright
The sky is black
Can only be another sign
I cannot keep what isn't mine
You left and it lingers on
But you, you were almost gone
It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon
And leaving too soon"
Kizna bite her lip at the lyric.
'No, it has to be my imagination.' she thought before continuing to hear her friend.
"How can I tell if you mean what you say?
You say it so loud, but you sound far away
Maybe I had just a glimpse of your soul
Or was that your shadow
I saw on the wall?
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving too late
No, no, no
It's only your shadow
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon, ooh
It's only your shadow..."
Slowly Kizna closed the door of the bathroom, and tapped a finger on her chin:
"It has to be my imagination. I mean, how's that possible?"
Inside the room Ikhny gazed once more to her parents' picture, and laid her head against her pillow, and closes her eyes.
'I'll try to be a better partner, Hiead, I swear.' With that last though, the brunette fell asleep.
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Everyone was having lunch, while chatting happily. Just like everyday, the food was everything except...well, food and no one had much of an appetite to eat it, except the starving ones like Zero:
"Baka, slow down!" Kizna exclaimed, looking at her partner "You're acting like you haven't eat for weeks."
"Well I..." Zero started coughing, and with a role of her eyes, Kizna started hitting him on his back.
"Drink this." Roose said, handing a glass of water towards his friend.
"Thanks..." Zero managed to say through Kizna's hits and coughs.
"You're such a baka!" Kizna exclaimed without stopping her movements "Couldn't you have ate slower?"
"But I...was hungry!" Zero whined through a cough, and everyone else sweatdropped:
"You're a strange person, Zero." Tsukasa commented, shaking her head
"I agree." Wrecka nodded
"Well, thank you." Zero replied, finally feeling better, and Clay raised his index finger, and pushed his spectacles back to its place:
"Interesting..."
Saki rolled her eyes:
"Can't you say anything besides that?" she asked annoyed
"His brain doesn't allow other words." Yamagi commented
"Hey!" Clay exclaimed indignantly
"Well, I agree with Yamagi." Roose spoke-up, and Clay's mouth dropped in shock and surprise.
"And close your mouth Clay or flies will fly in." Wrecka instructed.
"Hey, weren't we supposed to be talking about Zero?" Clay asked, and suddenly Ikhny started giggling.
"Why are you laughing?" Kizna asked, turning to her friend with an eyebrow raised
"You're so funny..." the brunette replied, still giggling, and everyone shared a look:
"We're supposed to be funny?" Zero asked while Clay pushed his glasses up with his finger again:
"Interesting..." he said, and Saki rolled her eyes:
"Here we go again." she mumbled, and this time everyone started laughing.
However, the laugh died immediately when everyone saw Hiead walking towards them, with his hands on his pockets and a cold look on his face:
"Allecto, I want to talk with you." he growled "Now."
Ikhny gulped, but stood up:
"Doshta no?" she asked
"Alone." Hiead added coldly, and without any warning, he grabbed the brown-eyed girl by the arm, and started pushing her towards the desert hall.
"What do you think he wants from her?" Wrecka asked
"Something bad, I'm sure." Clay replied
"Yeah, he's creepy." Roose agreed.
"And so cold." Tsukasa whispered before shivering "He scares me."
"And me." Saki added, "I don't know how Ikhny stands him."
"Maybe because she's scared." Kizna said suddenly, and Zero nodded:
"But ya know, it would be good if she could change him." the brown haired boy commented, and Kizna looked at him as if he was crazy:
"Huh?"
Zero chuckled:
"I mean, he's cold and she's emotional, they're perfect for each other."
"Baka!" Kizna exclaimed, hitting him on his head "How can you say something like that? Hiead is a jerk, and Ikhny deserves much more than that!"
"Ouch! Gomen ne, it was only an idea!" Zero muttered, rubbing his head
Kizna sighed, and looked at the front door:
'And, though it's stupid and strange, I can't help but agreed with you, Zero.' she said mentally 'Maybe Ikhny can change Hiead, but I think that's too much to ask. Besides that can be good, or terrible.'
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Ikhny couldn't help but tremble as Hiead continued to push her towards a dark corner in the hall: no one was there, but it seemed like Hiead wanted to be sure no one could heard or see them. Finally, he stopped pushing her, and without warning, he slammed the brunette against the wall:
"Listen, and listen carefully." he started in a very icy tone of voice "I don't know how you do it, but I want you to stop it, right now."
Ikhny blinked in confusion:
"Nani?" she asked, but that only seemed to make Hiead angrier:
"I want to know how you do it, and I order you to stop it!"
"What are you talking about?" Ikhny asked, not feeling scared but confused "I haven't done anything."
"Hanash'te!" Hiead almost yelled, and Ikhny winced:
"I...I don't know of what you're talking about." she replied, with her voice trembling as she watched Hiead bent his face forward, towards hers: while brown eyes were confused, scared and hurt, ruby eyes were cold and lifeless:
"Listen to me, you're going to stop right now, because you're playing with fire. I'm a very dangerous person Allecto, and if you don't stop this shit right now I'm going to kill you."
Ikhny gulped, and her eyes start to tear:
"I...I don't know...what are you talking about?" she managed to ask, while she tried hard to ignore the hot breath she was feeling coming from Hiead:
"I'll say this one last time: stay out of my head and my life. I don't need your help, and never will. I only need you to turn into a pilot, then you can die for all I care." with that he took his hands off her arms, and with one last glare he walked away while Ikhny fell on the floor, with tears falling down her cheeks:
"I...I didn't do anything..." she whispered through a tremble voice
To Be Continued…
A/N: Well, while you wait for the next chapter, can you please review? Thank you!