Chapter 2
First off, I still don't have a Nazgul, and I don't own LOTR darnit
The nine gallop dramatically through the black gate, and Larry seems about to fall out of his saddle.
"Don't worry Larry, the dramatic part is over" the Witch King said. "Whew, bout time" replied Larry, "Its not easy being the fifth Nazgul ya know". "See, the first Nazgul is the first one you see, so you don't notice him as much, the second you see, but not all that detailed, the third Nazgul has it a bit tougher, they watch him a little bit longer, and notice a bit more about him, by the fourth Nazgul, they are starting to notice the little things, and by the FIFTH Nazgul, me, they notice EVERY last little flaw, by the sixth Nazgul, they have lost interest and so on." The Witch King looked rather annoyed and said "Just be quiet Larry, no ones making fun of you". This remark was followed by an awkward pause. "Well then what are you doing?" asked Larry. "Well... No ones making fun of you ANYMORE" replied the Witch King.
After they had passed the dead marshes they stopped for a bit. "Well, Ive got some good news, and some bad news..." the Witch King said. "The bad news is that we are about to pass right through Rohan, we managed to bypass Gondor though". "Whats the good news?" asked Nazgul#2. "Oh, I brought a picnic basket!" replied the Witch King cheerfully. The other Nazgul thought this was a little weird, but they were all hungry, so they didn't say anything.
"I brought steaks!" said the Witch King. "Are they cooked?" asked Nazgul#7. "No but I brought a portable grill" replied the Witch King. "No you didn't" said Nazgul#2. "Sure I did" replied the Witch King. "No, you really didn't" the second Nazgul said again. The Witch King replied indignantly "Sure its right here... uhh maybe here... oh shut up."
"Ok, I guess that's all then for the picnic" the Witch King said. "Well, we better get going, we need to get to the shire asap!" said Nazgul#2. "Right, we don't need to gallop I guess, Larry, but we need to ride fast" the Witch King declared.
As they rode past Isenguard, Larry could have sworn that he saw a crazy old man on top of the tower of Orthanc, being attacked by eagles. Who knows, maybe it was Sauroman, he is kinda weird, and crazy after all.
They finally passed by (but not close to) Rivendell, they were almost to the Shire. "Hey, lets ask one of these farmers if they know where Baggins is. Just remember to ask in a raspy evil voice" said the Witch King. "shIRE bAGGINS" muttered Nazgul#3 to the farmer, and the farmer pointed, and said there weren't any Baggins there, they were in Hobbiton. So they went to Hobbiton, it was dark when they got there, and they looked even more evil and sinister at night. "Here we go, Bag End" hissed the Witch King, trying to get into the evil and sinister mindset.
Knock knock knock. "Who is it?" came a voice from inside. "Uhh, Pizza Hut!" replied the Witch King, thinking quickly. "OOOH Pizza!" came the voice from inside again. The door opened and the Nazgul saw a very small and surprised looking hobbit. "Wheres the pizza?" asked Frodo, a little confused. "Oh right, we decided to bring big swords instead of pizza" replied the Witch King. "Ahh, LOOK, IT'S A HERD OF RABID HAMSTERS (or guinea pigs, doesn't matter)" shouted Frodo. "Where!?!?" the Nazgul asked as they looked around frantically. "All I see is four hobbits running down the street" said Larry. "AHH THEY GOT AWAY!" shouted the Witch King. "Hurry, catch up to them before the hamsters get here!! (or guinea pigs)"shouted the Witch King.
The Nazgul began chasing after them on evil black horseback, and several hobbits along the road couldn't tell weather they were chasing the hobbits, or running from the annual hamster parade. "Ok, they got into the woods, lets split up so we can find them easier" said the Witch King. "Sounds good, Ill go along the road, in case they think they can out wit us by going the most obvious way" replied Larry. "Hey" said the Witch King "If you think they are close, start sniffing or something to freak em out, they might start running, or something like that".
Larry began to ride along the road, and continued to do so until he thought he heard some voices talking about surprising someone, cause they deserved it. He reached a spot along the road, and thought he saw footprints in the dirt, and got off his horse. "Sniff sniff, sniff sniff". "Suddenly four freaked out hobbits ran from under small ledge that Larry didn't know was there, he was about to give chase that would have certainly brought the ringbearers quest to an early end, when suddenly... he was mobbed by a parade of thousands of hamsters. "AAAUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" shouted Larry, but it came out as a shrill cry that terrified the four Hobbits.
After the hamsters passed over Larry, he got back on his horse intending to chase down the hamsters and kill them one by one, but as he went down the road, he saw four hobbits crossing the river in a boat. He decided the best thing to do was use the motor boat still parked at the dock to quickly catch up to them, but he heard a slight rumbling, and a great many squeaks behind him, as the hamster parade came around again. Another shrill cry terrified the hobbits as Larry ran screaming into the woods, and ran right into the Witch King and a few of the other Nazgul.
"What happened?" asked the Witch King? "They got away, across the river, I think I saw another boat, but it was sunk by the hamsters" replied Larry. "Darn" the Witch King moaned, "we will have to go all the way around, for 20 miles". "I'm going to kill those hamsters if it's the last thing I do" muttered Larry to himself.
First off, I still don't have a Nazgul, and I don't own LOTR darnit
The nine gallop dramatically through the black gate, and Larry seems about to fall out of his saddle.
"Don't worry Larry, the dramatic part is over" the Witch King said. "Whew, bout time" replied Larry, "Its not easy being the fifth Nazgul ya know". "See, the first Nazgul is the first one you see, so you don't notice him as much, the second you see, but not all that detailed, the third Nazgul has it a bit tougher, they watch him a little bit longer, and notice a bit more about him, by the fourth Nazgul, they are starting to notice the little things, and by the FIFTH Nazgul, me, they notice EVERY last little flaw, by the sixth Nazgul, they have lost interest and so on." The Witch King looked rather annoyed and said "Just be quiet Larry, no ones making fun of you". This remark was followed by an awkward pause. "Well then what are you doing?" asked Larry. "Well... No ones making fun of you ANYMORE" replied the Witch King.
After they had passed the dead marshes they stopped for a bit. "Well, Ive got some good news, and some bad news..." the Witch King said. "The bad news is that we are about to pass right through Rohan, we managed to bypass Gondor though". "Whats the good news?" asked Nazgul#2. "Oh, I brought a picnic basket!" replied the Witch King cheerfully. The other Nazgul thought this was a little weird, but they were all hungry, so they didn't say anything.
"I brought steaks!" said the Witch King. "Are they cooked?" asked Nazgul#7. "No but I brought a portable grill" replied the Witch King. "No you didn't" said Nazgul#2. "Sure I did" replied the Witch King. "No, you really didn't" the second Nazgul said again. The Witch King replied indignantly "Sure its right here... uhh maybe here... oh shut up."
"Ok, I guess that's all then for the picnic" the Witch King said. "Well, we better get going, we need to get to the shire asap!" said Nazgul#2. "Right, we don't need to gallop I guess, Larry, but we need to ride fast" the Witch King declared.
As they rode past Isenguard, Larry could have sworn that he saw a crazy old man on top of the tower of Orthanc, being attacked by eagles. Who knows, maybe it was Sauroman, he is kinda weird, and crazy after all.
They finally passed by (but not close to) Rivendell, they were almost to the Shire. "Hey, lets ask one of these farmers if they know where Baggins is. Just remember to ask in a raspy evil voice" said the Witch King. "shIRE bAGGINS" muttered Nazgul#3 to the farmer, and the farmer pointed, and said there weren't any Baggins there, they were in Hobbiton. So they went to Hobbiton, it was dark when they got there, and they looked even more evil and sinister at night. "Here we go, Bag End" hissed the Witch King, trying to get into the evil and sinister mindset.
Knock knock knock. "Who is it?" came a voice from inside. "Uhh, Pizza Hut!" replied the Witch King, thinking quickly. "OOOH Pizza!" came the voice from inside again. The door opened and the Nazgul saw a very small and surprised looking hobbit. "Wheres the pizza?" asked Frodo, a little confused. "Oh right, we decided to bring big swords instead of pizza" replied the Witch King. "Ahh, LOOK, IT'S A HERD OF RABID HAMSTERS (or guinea pigs, doesn't matter)" shouted Frodo. "Where!?!?" the Nazgul asked as they looked around frantically. "All I see is four hobbits running down the street" said Larry. "AHH THEY GOT AWAY!" shouted the Witch King. "Hurry, catch up to them before the hamsters get here!! (or guinea pigs)"shouted the Witch King.
The Nazgul began chasing after them on evil black horseback, and several hobbits along the road couldn't tell weather they were chasing the hobbits, or running from the annual hamster parade. "Ok, they got into the woods, lets split up so we can find them easier" said the Witch King. "Sounds good, Ill go along the road, in case they think they can out wit us by going the most obvious way" replied Larry. "Hey" said the Witch King "If you think they are close, start sniffing or something to freak em out, they might start running, or something like that".
Larry began to ride along the road, and continued to do so until he thought he heard some voices talking about surprising someone, cause they deserved it. He reached a spot along the road, and thought he saw footprints in the dirt, and got off his horse. "Sniff sniff, sniff sniff". "Suddenly four freaked out hobbits ran from under small ledge that Larry didn't know was there, he was about to give chase that would have certainly brought the ringbearers quest to an early end, when suddenly... he was mobbed by a parade of thousands of hamsters. "AAAUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" shouted Larry, but it came out as a shrill cry that terrified the four Hobbits.
After the hamsters passed over Larry, he got back on his horse intending to chase down the hamsters and kill them one by one, but as he went down the road, he saw four hobbits crossing the river in a boat. He decided the best thing to do was use the motor boat still parked at the dock to quickly catch up to them, but he heard a slight rumbling, and a great many squeaks behind him, as the hamster parade came around again. Another shrill cry terrified the hobbits as Larry ran screaming into the woods, and ran right into the Witch King and a few of the other Nazgul.
"What happened?" asked the Witch King? "They got away, across the river, I think I saw another boat, but it was sunk by the hamsters" replied Larry. "Darn" the Witch King moaned, "we will have to go all the way around, for 20 miles". "I'm going to kill those hamsters if it's the last thing I do" muttered Larry to himself.