Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot.

Summary: She was desperate for love. That was all that she had ever wanted and it was torn from her by Tohru… Will Kagura ever find solace in another person?

I'll Forget It All : Chapter Four

Kagura

I walked to the park with a heavy heart. I was too grief-stricken to wipe the tears that just kept coming and coming. My vision became blurred and I could no longer see where I was walking. He slapped me, it was the first time he had ever  struck me. Was my love really that terrible? Can't anyone see the pain  that I was going through? I was hurting inside and I felt that no one in the world cared, that I was useless and unworthy.

Can't Kyo tell my smiles are fake or am I just an invisible? Did anyone know that I just wanted to hold him, and hold him, and hold him, and never let go? Was I too clingy or am I not pretty enough? Is my hair the wrong color?  Is it my eyes? Kyo! Look what you have done to me!

I finally made it the park, my small little haven, and sat down in one of the small swings. I gently swing back and forth and I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the cool breeze. I wonder would things be different if I had never met Kyo. I love him so much and I know that it's pointless to love someone who will never love me back, but if there was a chance if he discovered that Tohru wasn't everything he expected I could take him back, I could always take him back. He just has to tell me that he wants me and I'll forget the pain he put me through. He just has to tell me he needs me and I'll embrace him with love. He just has to tell me he loves me and I'll forgive him for everything. All he has to do is just accept me and everything will be brighter, for me that is. I'll forget the pain and loneliness if he just tells me he loves me. Please, Kyo, tell me you love me because I love you so much.

It's getting darker and the stars are beginning to shine in the night sky.

I want to smile, I want to be happy. I don't want to pretend anymore. I want to smile a real one and never feel unaccepted again. I want happiness, I want love.

I can't bare the thought of having to live without him. He was my strange obsession, he was my love. I loved him more than I loved anything else possibly can, yet he did not return my love. Shall I be a victim of unrequited love?

Why do I go on loving him, when he obviously doesn't love me?

He has me hooked on love and it just won't let me go. I'm drunk with unattainable love and I just need someone, anyone, to save me from the pits of my own despair.

Yuki

I saw Kyo enter the house, he was very angry I could tell. Tohru immediately runs to him, to comfort him, like she had done that night they proved to the world that they deserved one another.

Through all the pain both of them had gone through, it was only appropriate that they would end up together. Kyo's pain of never being accepted was soothed by Tohru's innocence which enabled her to show him how wonderful life could be. They both deserved someone who would make them happy.

I can't truly ever be with anyone because of my fear of being rejected. Why does it seem that people can't accept me for who or what I am?

Well, I have myself to blame seeing as I never revealed the true Yuki Sohma to anyone except Tohru. I never believed that anyone could accept me, but then she appeared with her goofy smile claiming that everything will be alright and I trusted her. Now that she's chosen someone else, the pain is evident in my heart. The loss of her brought me to the reality that I did indeed love her.

In the background I can hear Kyo talking to Tohru about his encounter with Kagura. "She was strange."

At the sudden comment, Tohru looked up at Kyo most likely checking him for any injuries that might have occurred because of Kagura's raging behavior. Seeing that he wasn't harmed, Tohru smiled and replied, "Now, Kyo, she's just probably tired. She did look quite tired when she came. I mean she is in College and taking extra classes. Oh! Maybe we shouldn't have asked her to come, but if we left her out she might get offended!" Tohru clasped her hands together. "We must call her now! Let's take her out to lunch tomorrow, she may need a brake and we still need to repay her for taking up her whole afternoon."

Tohru ran into the other room and when I looked up at the cat I saw that he still seemed to be confused. "What happened? Couldn't find her, could you?" His began breathing in more deeply, as if to try and calm himself.

"It's not that, you damn mouse! She's acting all strange! She told me, she loved me!"

"Baka neko, she tells you that every time she sees you." Then, for what seems to be the first time, Kyo was actually serious. He sat down at the tea table and laid his head against the wood.

"It was different… she was crying when she said it. Sh-she asked me why I love Tohru…"

He trailed off, but his statement got me thinking, why did I love Tohru? Why her out of all the girls in the world?

"She asked me, why didn't I choose her?" Kyo shook his head, "Isn't the answer obvious?" Kyo gave out a sarcastic laugh and at that I was suddenly overcome with the urge to hurt him.

"She was really sad today, though." Kyo looked at me and immediately looked down out of guilt.

"Tohru is calling her right now." Kyo looks up at me, his mouth opening as if to say something when Tohru entered the room with a worried look on her face.

"Honda-san, what's wrong?" Kyo's eyes perked up when he saw Tohru.

"Kagura isn't home yet." Tohru turned her eyes away as if she felt personally responsible for what has just happened. "Oh, no. What if something happens to her? What if it's my fault?"

"Tohru, it's not your fault." Kyo replied, rising up to comfort her.

I look out the window and sigh. What was Kagura thinking? Didn't she realize that we would all be worried? Was she suffering because of the rejection?

Fed up with thinking, I went to my room and fell asleep hoping that Kagura would return home.

I woke up moments later and the rest of the night was spent deep in thought of Kagura. Did she go home? Was she there now? Feeling sympathetic, I climbed out of my bed and sneaked out to look for her. When outside the first thing that came to mind were places where would I find her, then I remembered the small park that Kyo would always avoid at all costs.

I need to quench this growing fire of anxiety. She should be at home, in bed, and sleeping. She shouldn't be out here at this time of night. I quickly made my way to the park when worry took over my body.

When I see the park around the corner, I speed up in hopes to see it empty. My hopes, however, were diminished when I see a small body swinging back and forth. It was Kagura. Why didn't she go home? Didn't she know it's dangerous at night? I collapse from exhaustion and relief, she was safe.

TBC

Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed this short chapter. I know it may not be everything you were hoping for, but at least I updated.

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