A/N: Thanks for the all the great feedback on this! And Thanks to Samijoe for the beta!

Raining Recipes on My Coat 3

Jess stopped as he set foot on the Dragonfly's lawn, watching the odd sight in front of him.

"Luke?"

Luke growled a little and pushed the man who was trying to fight him away. "Little help please?"

Jess rolled his eyes and stepped between the two men. "That's enough, Ladies."

"He started it!" Jason Stiles yelled frantically.

"I did not!" Luke countered.

"You kissed my girlfriend!"

Jess held back a laugh. "Luke, you player."

"She's not your girlfriend!" Luke yelled. "You broke up!"

"I already told you: we're working through our rough patch!" Jason argued.

"Who in hell are you two idiots talking about?" Jess cut in.

"Lorelai," they said in unison.

"Listen, you delusional freak," Luke spat. "Get it through your head: You broke up. Move on!"

Jason moved to try and hit Luke but Jess shoved him back. "Stop it," Jess snapped. "Jeez." He turned to Luke. "What is it with us this week?"

Jason swung and clipped Jess in the jaw. The younger man stumbled back into his uncle.

"We keep finding stupid people," Luke muttered, steadying Jess. "Lay off my nephew, ya jerk!"

Jason readied another punch.

"I'll save you, Luke!"

Before he could swing, Jason was tackled to the ground.

Jess blinked. "Kirk?!"

Kirk slapped Jason in the face.

"Please... please tell me he isn't naked," Jess muttered.

Luke sighed. "Sorry."

Jason growled and shoved Kirk off of him and got up. He looked about ready to lunge again but Jess slugged him first, knocking him to the ground.

And then someone else slugged Jess, making him stumble back again and wind up on the ground. He looked up. "That... was uncalled for."

Dean shook his head grimly. "Wait till Rory hears about this."

Jess glared as he got to his feet.

"Hey, Dean!"

Dean whirled around, and Luke's fist connected with his face. He stumbled back, holding his nose. "AH!"

Luke shook his head. "Been wanting to do that for years." He looked to Jess. "You alright?"

Jess nodded and rubbed his jaw. "That's gonna leave a mark."

"Oh, my god."

All five men looked up.

"Uh-oh," Jason muttered.

Emily Gilmore stared at them in shock. "What on earth is going on?"

Jason, Dean and Kirk all began talking, while Luke and Jess stood stiffly, obviously embarrassed.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" Emily cried, silencing them. "Fighting like Neanderthals!"

"Jess started it," Dean said loudly.

"Why can't it be someone else's fault for a change?" Jess muttered.

"Actually, Emily, Luke started it," Jason cut in.

"Bull," Luke snapped. "You threw the first punch. Jess showed and tried to break us up. Kirk showed up and tried to defend me and Dean..." He blinked at Dean. "Why in hell are you here?"

"I saw Jess fighting," Dean replied awkwardly.

"Don't you have a wife to annoy?" Jess snapped.

"Go to hell, Mariano," Dean snarled back.

Emily groaned. "You- Diner Man, go get that nudist some clothes." She turned to Jason. "Were you even invited?"

Jason paled. "Well... no..."

"Then for god's sake, go home," Emily told him. She turned her attention to the two nineteen-year-olds. "Jess, go inside and help your uncle. Dean... you weren't invited either, were you?"

Dean looked down at his feet. "No, Ma'am."

"Go home."

The quartet stood completely still.

"Well?!" Emily yelled. "Go!"

They all dispersed, leaving Emily to huff out a sigh.

"Mom?"

Emily turned a cold eye on her daughter. "Lorelai."

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Lorelai asked, walking over. "I thought you went home."

"I forgot my coat," Emily replied tersely.

Lorelai gave her a somewhat hurt look. "Oh."

"Hey." Rory walked up, Jess's jacket wrapped tightly around her. "Grandma? I thought you left."

"I forgot something," Emily replied, a little warmer. She did her best to ignore Lorelai's expression. "Did you know that the Diner Man, Jason, Jess, Dean and some nudist were ripping each other apart about ten feet away from us a moment ago?"

Lorelai's eyes nearly fell out of her head. "Excuse me?"

"Jess and Dean again?!" Rory cried.

"I wonder who started it this time," Lorelai joked. "Let's see... which one has the violent tendencies?"

"Both," Rory replied. "Where's Jess?"

"Inside, helping the naked man back to his room," Emily replied.

Rory blinked. "Who was naked?"

"Kirk," Lorelai replied. "He came bolting down the stairs in the buff, screaming his head off when Luke and I were..." she trailed off.

"Luke and you were what?" Rory asked.

"Yes, Lorelai, do tell," Emily prodded.

"Excuse me!" Lorelai cried. "You're mad at me, remember? Mad people don't get details!"

Rory sighed. "Your plan backfired, didn't it?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Lorelai replied. She sighed. "Come on, Mom. Let's go get your coat, and then I can tell Rory details."

"It's so nice of you to bring him back," Lulu smiled as she wrapped Kirk in a blanket. "I don't know why he didn't just tell me about his night terrors."

"I'm thinking insanity," Jess chimed in.

Luke nudged him warningly. "No problem. I suggest you lock the door next time, though."

Lulu nodded. "Not a bad idea." She blinked at them. "Wow, you guys look like you've had a rough night."

Luke nodded. "Everything's fine."

Lulu grimaced and stared at Jess's chin. "That's not going to look pretty in the morning."

"I'll get ice," Jess replied.

"Alright," Lulu nodded. "Thanks again. Goodnight!"

"Night," Luke replied. "Goodnight, Kirk."

"See you tomorrow at the gym, Luke!" Kirk replied gruffly.

Luke and Jess blinked at each other, and promptly left.

"Thank you, Lorelai," Emily said firmly. "We'll talk soon."

Lorelai sighed. "Mom, wait. We should talk now."

"I don't want to talk now," Emily replied as she walked to the car. "I'll call you later."

"Mom-"

"Oh, my lord."

Lorelai blinked. "What?" She followed her mother's gaze to where Rory was standing.

A small packet sat formerly unnoticed at her feet.

Lorelai smacked herself in the head. "Goddammit!"

Rory blinked and looked down. "Oh, no..."

TBC