Summary She was desperate for love. That was all that she had ever wanted and it was torn from her by Tohru… Will Kagura ever find solace in another person?
Disclaimers I don't own Fruits Basket.
I'll Forget It All : Chapter Seven
Kagura
I looked at Yuki's back and contemplated the choice of running away or not. I didn't know why he had to take me back there just to be tortured. This is so painful because I wasn't sure if I could be able to watch them be happy together.
"Yun-chan!" I tried to pry my hand out of his. "Yun-chan, I can go home!"
I don't know why, but it seemed that Yuki was trying to help me. I don't know how, but he really seems to be trying.
"Yun-chan?"
He finally stopped and looked down at me.
"What's wrong?"
He gave me a long hard stare, as if to try to see through me. I tried to raise my head and meet his gaze, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to see distaste in his eyes, I didn't want to be rejected as a friend. Kyo always stared at me with that long stare of distaste, but I'd just brushed it off. I thought he would always be mine, I thought that there would never be another to try and win his heart.
I never thought that anyone could accept any one of the zodiac. I tried with all my might to show him how much I loved him, but I ended up going crazy. Do you think it's easy for me to hurt him? Do he think it was easy for me not to run after him?
I wish I could just tell him to stay with me, but whenever I do he just turns away. Kyo…
"Nothing."
"…"
His grip on my hand lessens a little and his face slowly relaxes into a small smile. He leans his forehead against mine.
"It's okay." He breathed, his sweet breath brushed against mine.
And for that one instant I thought that I could find a new love in Yuki. Is it so wrong?
Just as swiftly as the thought came to me, it went away and a cold emptiness replaced it. We are all part of the same curse of loneliness. Kyo, he found his redemption, but what about the rest of us? I could never replace Kyo. He's too precious to me. I love him with my whole heart and I never want him to go away. I never want to replace him. Never, never, never…
I don't want to fall in love again. It's too much pain, it's just too much pain.
"Don't go." My voice sounded hoarse and pathetic. I just wanted someone who understood my sufferings and right now that was Yuki.
"I'm right here." He smiled weakly and pressed a hand against my cheek. It was then that I noticed that I was crying.
I needed someone to console me. Someone who understood me and my pain. In life we must feel pain and sorrow because we are only humans. Our flaws make us who we are and they also mold us into what we are to become. We must suffer because we have love. We must suffer because we have compassion, we have emotions. We're not like animals that follow their primal instincts. We are living beings with souls and hearts for love. We have dreams and wishes.
I am the boar of the zodiac, the stubborn and violent boar. Of course I also have boar-like behaviors and habits, for instance my appetite matches that of a boar and my explosive temper are both boar-like behaviors. The boar, of course, isn't a very lady-like sign, it is better fitted for a man.
"Kagura?"
He wiped my tears away and gripped my hand. He started pulling me to Shigure-san's house. The one place I did not want to go to. I did not want to go to Kyo, I just didn't want to go back.
Yuki
I could tell Kagura was hesitant about going back to Shigure's, but I didn't want to go back again. I know that if I went back alone, I would be lost. I'd see Tohru smile, a smile that was never meant for me but for Kyo. I didn't want to face this alone and so my darker side shows as I bring Kagura to suffer with me. I didn't want to be there watching the happy couple while I was sad and alone.
Kagura doesn't know why I want to bring her back. She doesn't know. She could never know. Sure she understands the pain of a broken heart, but she is too innocent to understand the bitter-sweet cruelty I was currently inflicting upon her in forcing her to return with me. I didn't want to face this alone and so I needed someone there with me. I don't want to keep running, but dragging you into this is making me run faster and I can't stop. I told Kyo that I didn't want to run anymore and that he shouldn't either, but I can't help it. I'm too cowardly to meet my sorrow face to face. Tohru, although angelic, cannot possibly know how much pain she has inflicted upon me and Kagura by choosing Kyo.
We're finally home. I look up at the house and hear shouting.
"Shigure?!" It's probably Mii-san. I honestly don't know why that lady puts up with him when all he does is turn in his papers late. We enter the house and immediately all I wanted to do was walk out again. There was Mii-san doing a little victory dance.
"Guess what Yuki! We just hit the best seller's list!" Shigure shoved a book into my hands.
Love and Sorrow
What a unique title? I turn to the back and start to read.
A tragic love triangle. Two friends love the same girl, but when she chooses one has to go. The three "friends" go through hardships and obstacles to reach their common goal: love. Though Toki is oblivious to all that is around her, she tries to help everyone and make their lives as comfortable as possible. She is a beautiful girl living in a house full of men. She is kind and gentle and there is probably no flaw to her except her low self-esteem.
What happens when another girl enters their already tangled hearts? Kasaki loves Kouga, but Kouga loves Toki. Yuuhi loves Toki as well.
It is one of the most riveting love triangles of our time.
I had the urge to slap Shigure. How dare he take our story and publish it? How dare he? I give the book to Kagura and walk into the kitchen. Upon entering, I could hear Tohru and Kyo talking.
"Kyo-kun! Shigure's book is really on the best seller's list!" She was as excited about the book as Mii-san was.
"Feh! I wonder where he got the idea…"
"Shigure-san is so brilliant!" I look inside and see Tohru with her hands folded under her chin. She looked up at Kyo with those lovely brown eyes, which were outlined for love. Kyo really doesn't know where Shigure got the idea? Baka neko…
I casually walk in and grab a soda from the fridge. Tohru doesn't even say hi, she's just so happy that Kyo is there, she's so happy to be with him. I leave the kitchen without a sound and sit at the coffee table. I see Kagura sitting at the other side reading Shigure's book. Her hair fell over her shoulder and she pushed it back, and as she did I noticed a long scar marring her cheek. I don't know why I didn't see it before. I quickly walked towards her, pushed back her hair, and examined the scar.
"Who did this?"
She remained silent. Why didn't I notice before? Why didn't anyone notice?
"I… I fell." She didn't look at me, but stared at the window.
"You're lying."
She bowed her head in defeat.
"Who did it?"
"It's doesn't matter who did it."
"Yes it does."
"No one cares anyway."
Had she already fallen that deep? Had she fallen to a place where she thought no one cared for her? What about Shigure, Hatori, Momiji, and Kisa? They would care. Does she really think no one cares for her? I care.
"Kagura…"
She mumbles.
"What?"
She lifts her head and looks into my eyes with her sorrowful ones.
"Akito."
Her voice was so low and I could tell that she immediately wanted to stay quiet about it. I rise to my feet and leave the room.
Shigure
I watched Kagura and Yuki. They didn't know that I was there. Kagura was reading my novel and then flipped her hair. Yuki seemed to notice something and was at her side immediately. He fingered her cheek gently. They exchanged words, and from their small conversation I concluded that Kagura must have hurt herself in what she claimed to be a fall. Yuki, however, didn't accept this answer and persisted to know what has happened. She bowed her head and replied that 'no on cares.'
I felt shocked at the answer, no one cares anyway. How can no one care? We all love one another. How can she say that no one cares?
"Kagura…"
She mumbles and keeps her head down. Their voices whisper and I strain to hear, but I can't catch what she is saying.
Yuki stands up suddenly and leaves the room. I took this chance and entered the room myself, and as I did she took to reading my novel once again.
"Shigure? Does this have a happy end?"
"Read it and you'll find out." I smile and her eyes widen as she becomes engrossed in the book once again. I sit myself next to her and examine her face. I want to know why Yuki seemed so distress. Suddenly he enters the room again.
"You're staying, Kagura. Hatori-san will bring your stuff."
I smile, "Hatori is coming!" Yuki looks at me and nods. I turn back to examine Kagura's face again. She pulls her hair back and I see why Yuki was so distressed. She had a long scar along her ear. She hid it from us by covering it with her hair. I look at Yuki and nod to the door. He takes the hint immediately and walks out. Once we were both in the hallway, my curiosity was voiced out.
"What happened to her?"
"Akito."
I nod. I understand right away.
Yuki walks back into the living room and lays his head against the coffee table. I could tell that this was really stressing him out. Kagura glances at him and I saw the pain flash onto her face, but she doesn't say anything.
Hatori came around an hour later.
Ding… ding… ding…
I open the door and low and behold… Hatori!
He glances in the living room and sees Kagura. She was reading, still. The novel was a rather short book, so she was already halfway through.
"I brought her stuff."
"Why did Akito give her the scar? I know it isn't a big injury and all, but he has never hurt her before."
"You know the boy. He wanted to break the already broken heart. Kyo hurt her bad, even though he doesn't realize how much he has. Did you know that she came to me one day and asked me to erase her memory? She wanted to forget him, but Akito won't allow it."
Poor Kagura.
Hatori hands me a rather large bag.
"Let her stay a week at least."
"But, Kyo…"
"Maybe seeing him happy will make her happy."
Hatori turns and drives away.
Hatori… you understand her. You know how it feels. Do you see Kana anymore? Are you happy when she is?
Are you sure Kagura will like being here? I glance into the living room. She finally put the book down and was sleeping. Yuki was standing in the doorway leading to the kitchen. He leaned against the door post and smiled contently.
I walk over to her and open the book to see that she was almost done. While folding the page to mark her place, one line jumped out at me.
Kasaki made him feel whole again.
TBC
I hope you liked it and about the novel thing, I hope you liked it! We're finished with seven chapters now! VICTORY DANCE!
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