Author's Note Do I really need to write these? Like I said in the first chapter, I really felt bad for Kagura.
Summary She was desperate for love. That was all that she had ever wanted and it was torn from her by Tohru… Will Kagura ever find solace in another person?
Disclaimers I don't own Fruits Basket, but if I did… I would make sure that Tohru got a better personality… sorry to all the Tohru lovers.
I'll Forget It All
Chapter Eight
Kyo's POV
I watched as Hatori drove away. Maybe seeing me happy would make her happy? It sure as hell didn't seem that way. To me, it felt that seeing me miserable gave her pleasure. She only wants me to be with her, only her and no one else. She never wanted to see me with other girls; she doesn't want me to be with Tohru. She doesn't want Tohru to love me, to want me, and eventually need me. She didn't want me to love Tohru as I do now. Can one really, truly call this love?
I don't care what she wants. I would only love Tohru and never love anyone else.
Tohru was an angel, onethat stayed by me no matter what happened. She stayed with me during my third form. She cried for me whenno one else would. Not even my own mother cried for me. My mother didn't love me. She feared me.
She checked my bracelet everyday because she was scared. She just thought she was being motherly when she told me she loved me, but it was easy to see that she was lying. She didn't understand me, nor did she accept me. She pretended to, butshe never tried. She was always smiling that fake smile that I loathed so much. She always told me she wanted to keep me all to herself, when in truth she was ashamed of me. She didn't want anyone to see me,her cursed son, the cat.
Because of that legend, the damn rat that decieved the cat by telling him the party was a few days later. Now, because of that, I'm excluded from all family events, from the feeling of acceptance. Because of that damn rat, Yuki.
But, I have something that he never will, whichis Tohru's love. She loves me and not him. Sometimes I feel sorry for him, to have to see us together everyday. I know he loves Torhu too. I know he wants her, but he wants her happiness more.
I watched as Shigure walked into the room and look at the sleeping Kagura. It was almost noon. She was going to spend the week? How will I be able to bear this? She will probably cling to me till she goes back to the main house.
Why can't she find someone knew to love? Shigure looks up at me.
"Can you carry her to her room?"
I fall to the ground, hitting my head.
"Why the hell can't you!"
"I'm not as strong as I used to be." He grinned at me while waving his hand. I look down at the sleeping girl. She looked so peaceful, when she's not chasing me.
I sigh impatiently and pick her up. Shigure flashes me a radiant grin. A leads me to the guestroom with Kagura's bags and her book.
Shigure's POV
I watched as Kyo carried Kagura to the guestroom. I don't know why Kagura loves him so much… but it was so romantic how she always hoped that he would come to her. I put a hand under my chin and grin.
If only someone would help her recover. If only someone would help her love again.
Kagura whimpered in her sleep.
Yuki came out of his room. He saw Kyo carrying Kagura and looked at me questioningly. I grin evilly.
"What's wrong Yun-chan?" I ask mockingly. "Are you jealous?" He glares at me and goes back into his room.
"Yuki! Kyo needs help." Yuki opens the door of his room and keeps his head down out of annoyance. He takes Kagura from Kyo.
Kyo smiles in gratitude. Yuki just turns away and carries her into the room. I open the door for him and he walks in and places Kagura in the bed. A faint smile made its way to his lips as he brushes her hair from her face. Tohru appeared at the doorway.
Yuki's face lit up when he saw her.
"Um… it's dinner time!" She gave everyone a big smile. She looked into Yuki's eyes and her smile grew bigger. "Is Kagura coming down?"
He looked back at her.
"I'll just bring up her dinner later." With a smile he and Tohru walked out the door. I took one last look at Kagura and leave the room skipping to dinner. Poor, poor Kagura. It's hard being the boar. She would be stereotyped as rude because the boar is a masculine sign. Poor, poor Kagura, to love completely and not be loved back. Poor, poor girl. I pity you.
Yuki's POV
I was bringing the food up to Kagura's room. Kagura was still in bed. She seemed to be sleeping, but I knew better. I stared hard at her face and I saw her flinch. Evidently she could feel my presence and she could feel the hard stare I gave her. She shuddered slightly and opened her eyes.
"Yuki?"
I smiled down at her.
"I brought up your food."
"Thank you." She was unusually silent. I wonder what she's thinking.
"Yuki? You shouldn't have to worry about me. Next time I sleep in, I'll just get my own food so you can rest!" She smiled up at me. But, I knew she was just trying to hide something. She went into silence as she ate.
"Tohru is such a good cook!" She looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "And pretty too! Maybe that's why you like her so much!" She took another slurp of the soup.
I shook my head. She was really trying to hide something.
"Tohru is so nice… she'd make any man happy! She can do everything." Kagura stopped eating for a while, and then shrugged it off.
Was that it? Was she pitting herself? Did she really want to be like Tohru just to have Kyo?
"Shigure and Mii-san are having a celebration party about their hit. They want us all to come, but it's pretty formal. So tomorrow we're all going shopping."
Kagura smiled.
"That's nice."
She finished all her food and rose to put it downstairs.
"I'll do it."
"That's okay Yun-chan. I need the exercise." She laughed and put a hand over her stomach as if to say that she was fat.
She grinned a little.
"Or were you hoping to bump into Tohru in the kitchen?" She looked at me with the most innocent look she could give. I sighed and pushed her out of the room. I could hear her laughing through the door. All I could do was laugh with her.
I don't know why. There was nothing funny about what she said. In all actuality, it was kind of offending. But, the way she said it… it seemed like I had a chance. She made it seem like I could still win her. It seemed like she could learn to love me more than just a friend and I could love her too.
I just had to laugh. She loved Kyo and there was nothing that could change it. There was nothing I could do or anyone else could do to make Tohru love me.
I did not know when my tears started to fall, but I didn't brush them off like I would normally do. Instead I cherished these tears. It made me feel relieve. Like there was no pain in the world larger than mine and it was being washed away by my tears.
I haven't cried since I was a child and now I have found a way to vent out my frustration and unreturned love.
Kagura's POV
I leaned against the door. All I ever do is hurt people. I hurt Kyo for love of him. I hurt Tohru with my sadness. I hurt Yuki with my words. I hurt the people who mean a lot in my life. Yuki was crying. I could tell. At first it came out as a loud sarcastic, evil laugh…. Then it turned to little sobs.
He was choking because of his love for Tohru. Deep vines of despair wound its way around the frail body and choked the happiness out of him, but he stood tall in all his glory. Yuki never gave up his fight with this vine of despair. He fought on… but, I have already forgotten the words happiness and eternal joy.
I have forgotten them and lost myself to the complete darkness of emotions. I lost my love and life to the darkness within myself… to the envy and anger and self-hatred. I lost my soul, the very thing that kept me going for Kyo was gone and it was replaced by the rusting chain of eternal sadness.
Happiness, you used to be my friend. Now you abandon me when hope is not there. You abandon me to the deep tortures of hell itself and yet you stand there with the love of Tohru and Kyo. You mock me and insult me, and yet I want nothing more than for you to stand by me. I want happiness. I want love and hope and dreams… I want everything in the world and yet at the same time I want nothing.
Kyo… giving you up is going to be harder than I thought.
I walked downstairs and cleaned the plates. The lights suddenly switched on and Tohru was standing at the doorway with her hair in her nightly braids and her yellow pajama's hanging on her shoulders.
"Kagura-chan! You don't have to clean those! I can clean it… Just go up and get some rest." I smiled down at her. She is so sweet.
"It's okay."
She seemed to want to protest again, but she kept silent.
Another figure entered the room. I could tell, I heard his footsteps. Tohru turned to see who it was and suddenly disappeared from my side. That meant that the person who had just entered the kitchen was… Kyo.
"Kyo…" I whispered under my breath.
I finished the plates and saw Tohru happily chatting away with Kyo. His eye met mine and I saw the happiness withdraw and coldness take over. I stood shocked, but as quickly as the coldness appeared, happiness took over again.
Did he really hate me so much? I haven't gone after him all day… I guess it was only because I was asleep. I know he will never love me the way I do… but, I only wanted him to be happy and too see me as someone he'll always cherish.
I never will know why he fell for Tohru, but I will strive my whole life just to discover why. I want and need to change for him, because he is worth it. Some people don't think so, but they don't see him the way I do… not even Tohru. I love him and Tohru can never take that away from me. She can win his love, but our past is intertwined and she will never be able to change that.
I love them, I love them all. With my whole heart and being, but jealousy can't be helped.
Love needs more than silly nothings and chocolates, I need to change and learn what love is all about. I thought I knew, but I guess I don't. Kyo, I need to change… just so he can look at me with a warm expression. I need to change just to make him smile, even if it is not to me. I need him to see me for who I am and not an annoying girl who chases him in the name of 'love.'
I forced a smile on my face and walked out the room. I was going to go upstairs when I collided with warm flesh.
I looked up and stared into the dark eyes of…
TO BE CONTINUED…
LOL! Shorter than usual… LOL! I hope you enjoyed the chappie… please review and check out my other stories!