Author's Note Do I really need to write these? Like I said in the first chapter, I really felt bad for Kagura. This is really out of character! LOL! Yuki is so mean in this chappie, but please don't be mad! It just fit the plot I had in mind…
Summary She was desperate for love. That was all that she had ever wanted and it was torn from her by Tohru… Will Kagura ever find solace in another person?
Disclaimers I don't own Fruits Basket, but if I did… I would make sure that Tohru got a better personality… sorry to all the Tohru lovers.
I'll Forget It All
Chapter Eleven
Kagura
I woke up to the bright sunlight breaking over the horizon. I gently rubbed my eyes, but found that any movement was impossible. I looked down at my arms and saw a hand clutching mine. I followed the hand to an arm, then up to the face.
I gasped out loud. I know that if anyone were to see me now, they would think that I was a fish caught out of the fish tank. Yuki's face was so handsome in the sunlight. His pale skin practically glowed and I see that he is more relaxed, not distant like he normally is. I see his emotions play across his face; a faint smile dominated his lips. Those lips, those soft lips that were once mine. The lips that caressed mine in a lie that we both were living. A lie, pretend, deceit… that's all it was.
He was Kyo to me and I was Tohru to him.
Today we are going to the mall to buy dresses for Shigure's formal party. He had a very interesting novel, but it wasn't that long. I finished it in one day. My attention turned to Yuki when he let out a small groan. All emotion wiped off his face. I couldn't help, but feel disappointed. He never opened to anyone before Tohru came. I just wish he would open up to me too.
"Good morning."
I smiled up at him. "Good morning."
He pulled his arms away from me as if he had been holding fire and tucked his fists into his pajama pockets. It was a very awkward moment. I remembered everything that happened yesterday. Every word we whispered and every star we wished upon. Feeling tears spring into my eyes, I simply blink them away furiously.
He seemed to have noticed that something was wrong, but didn't say anything about it. I guess he thought I needed time to myself. My mind flashed to moments ago when he rested next to me with a small smile dancing on his lips. Come to think of it, it was the first real smile I have ever seen. Smiling I turned to face him. He seemed so different now. He wasn't just the mouse of the zodiac to me; he was a friend… maybe something more.
"Yun-chan! We're going to the mall today! Tonight is Gure-san's party!" I smiled and twirled around. "I can't wait to see everyone wearing beautiful gowns!" I pretended to curtsy and started dancing with an imaginary partner.
Yuki emitted a little chuckle. I stopped what I was doing and cocked my head to the side. A smile was plastered to his face as he shook a little.
"Yuki…" I blinked to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. "Are you laughing?"
He just shook more. I don't see what's so funny. Hm… It's kind of nice hearing him laugh, but I wanted to know why he was laughing. Did I do something weird? I shuddered at the thought. I wouldn't want him to think I was weird, and then I mentally slapped myself. Why should I care if he thought I was weird? I never cared what he thought of me before.
I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "I demand to know what's so funny."
"I don't know…" He stood up and stopped laughing. "I'm sorry for laughing at you, but you looked out of place dancing with no one."
"Huh?"
"Here, dance with me." I looked up at him. This seemed like those moments in the movies when people got together. Dancing during the sunrise, on the roof… in their pajamas. I suppressed a laugh when I imagined how awkward we must look.
He took my hand in his and I just noticed how big his hands were. They were slender with long fingers and they covered mine. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, but before we could start dancing I gently pulled away.
"I think we should go inside. They might worry about us."
Upon entering the house, I could hear Kyo yelling. I listened more and heard that he couldn't find Tohru. I went into the kitchen and found that he was looking for Tohru, but couldn't find her.
"Did you check her room?"
"She wouldn't be there! She's always up first thing in the morning!"
"She could be really tired… and…" I fell silent, unsure of what to say. I could feel eyes burning into my back and when I turned around it was Yuki, still in his pajamas. That made me realize that I was also still in my pajamas. I felt a rush of heat travel to my cheeks.
"I'll check her room."
I rushed out of the situation and ran up the stairs. Why am I so stupid? I shouldn't have said anything… I should have just stayed quiet. I gently place a hand on the door to Tohru's room. I wonder what's wrong. Maybe she's just tired. That must be it… I try to think positively, but everything just comes out so wrong. I wonder what's wrong with Tohru, why didn't she go down early like she usually does.
Everyone's worried about her, don't they see that. I gave the door a gentle push and entered. I heard sniffling from under the sheets. First I walked to the window to let a little sunshine into the room.
I took a glance at the bed and knew that Tohru was crying, but I wonder what she was crying about. I sat next to her shaking form and put a hand on her back. I felt her flinch under my touch.
"Tohru… What's wrong…?"
"I can't…"
"You can't… what can't you do?"
"I can't make everyone happy…"
"Tohru…"
She sat up in her bed and looked at me with bloodshot eyes. Even in this broken state, she looked beautiful. I felt a flare of jealousy build up inside me, but pushed it down. She was my friend. I shouldn't be jealous of her. I'm happy she's with Kyo; she makes him very happy and that's all that matters.
"Tohru, it doesn't matter. There are times when people have to solve their own problems, by themselves…"
She bowed her head and covered her face with her hands. "It's just that I hurt Yuki-san. I shouldn't have stayed here. I should have just let Hatori erase my memory instead of keeping it."
"Tohru, don't regret that! Never regret that. If it weren't for you, Kyo would never have found happiness."
"But, I can't love Yuki the way he wants to be loved."
"It doesn't matter… all that matters is your own happiness and what you're going to do when an obstacle like this appears. You either fight it, or run away."
"But, I don't want to fight it. I just wish everything were back to normal."
"Tohru… Yun-chan loves you, and I know that all he would ever want for you is your happiness."
She sniffled and her little whimpers died down.
"But…"
"No more 'buts.'"
She's so doubtful of everything and yet, it seems as if she also has faith in everything. I always wanted to be able to understand Tohru so I could be like her, but sitting on this bed, listening to her cry… I wanted nothing more than to run away and cry myself. Everyone loves her to death; it just seems so improbable for someone to love me that way. I still love her. She's my friend... she's my sister. I can never be mad at Tohru… She's too innocent to deserve that. She's too loveable… It's hard to hate her, no matter how much you try, she'll just return with a smile that makes you smile too.
"I'm happy you're here Kagura."
"I'm just happy if you'll feel better!" I exclaimed, immediately going into my childish attitude. She got off her bed with a determined look on her face. Her eyes were shining with childish innocence as she ran outside the room and down the hall. I smiled to myself, knowing that I was able to console Tohru had made me feel accomplished. It was as if I had done something worth doing.
Yuki
I watched as Kagura raced up the stairs. I knew she heading to Tohru's room, and something compelled me to follow her. I noticed that I have been doing that a lot lately. I noticed that I have been looking at her more than ever… what was happening to me? Every time she ran off, I would follow her. It was as if something was holding me to her and I couldn't get away. I looked up and saw that Kagura was already standing in front of Tohru's room.
She paused, as if contemplating whether to go in or not. I was about to approach her and tell her that I would get Tohru, but she walked in. I went to the door and saw that it was still cracked open. I peeked in and saw Kagura walk to the window and open it. There was something about the way that she walked that made me feel sorry for her. She walked as if she were being prosecuted for something. Her head was bowed and her shoulders were slumped.
She sat next to a shivering figure on the bed and I immediately knew that it was Tohru. They talked, and I listened.
At the end of their conversation I felt guilty. Very guilty for having made Tohru sad. I never deserved her in the first place. She was out of my reach, but something about the way she smiled made me feel like I had a chance to be in love with this beautiful angel. Nothing would ever make me hate Tohru and nothing would ever make me hurt her intentionally. She got up from the bed and I started to walk away.
I don't think I can face her after hearing their conversation. As I walked down the stairs, Tohru sped by me and that was when I noticed that Kagura wasn't anywhere in sight. I went up the stairs again and approached Tohru's open door. I looked in and saw Kagura. She wasn't crying, but all she did was stare at something no one else could see. I didn't go in, but watched her from afar. It's best that way. I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.
TO BE CONTINUED…
I hope you liked it… shorter than usual though… --
Let's see, what to say…? Hm… I'm comin' home mama! I'm comin' home!
Hm… that's not it… I just wanna say that my other fic, King's Box, is almost finished… so if you haven't started reading it, you better… or else…
Hm… I just wanna say that Eclipse is the best! Frey is the best! Kyo Wakamiya! Tooya! Aki! My bishonen! My kawaii bishies!
I love you!
Review please… or else…