Author's Note: I'm in school… on my laptop… in an open lab… put two and two together, okay. I'm really sleepy right now, but thank gods I have lunch next! Happy, happy, joy, joy! Oh yeah, it's my birthday on May 18! That's so cool! Happy, happy, joy, joy! Will anyone sing happy birthday for me?

Summary: She was desperate for love. That was all that she had ever wanted and it was torn from her by Tohru… Will Kagura ever find solace in another person?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters… just the plot… I think…

I'll Forget It All

Chapter Fifteen

Yuki

I noticed that there was still an unfading emptiness in Kagura's eyes, and this made me wonder what made her so distant.

What would happen if she did go to America? Would this really help her to heal? What about me! I need to heal, I need to escape as well, but I can't! I can't leave! I can't just forget everyone… I'm so different from Kagura…

I need to be stronger, but all she wants to do is yield to her sorrow and run away. That's everyone's initial reaction, to run away from pain, but I must stay here so I can be close to Tohru. She was the only person who saw me as a real person. Not a prince, not the president, not perfection, but a person with real feelings. I thought my love for Tohru would never waver, but whenever Kagura's around the pain just seems to disappear to an extent that I could actually bring myself to smile.

Memories of the past week appear and fade in my mind, one scene ending as another begins. I kissed her… after about a day, the thought finally clicked… I kissed her. I kissed Kagura and I… liked it?

I press my cold fingers against my own lips and I find myself aching to kiss her again. What was this feeling? It was deeper and warmer than anything I've ever felt before. I finally accepted the fact that I will never have Tohru, but that never stopped me from loving her. She was my everything, and I wasn't about to let 'everything' go to pursue a silly intuition. I should be reasonable in all that I do, and I know that thinking, even for a moment, that I'm in love with Kagura goes against everything I stood for all my life.

I looked up at the roof of the car wondering what I should do. Shigure had decided to bring Ayame to a restaurant with us, since it was so close to lunch time. That meant that it was not silent, it was far from silent. Kagura was chatting happily with the Ayame, who was sitting next to her, and Shigure, who was sitting in the front seat.

I saw Kagura suddenly smile and that made me feel warm. I don't know why, but seeing her and being with her made me happy. It was the same thing I felt with Tohru, but at the same time it was different. Suddenly, Hatori stopped the car. We were there and soon we all climbed out of the car. I saw Kyo immediately grab Tohru's hand, it was like he was constantly making sure that she was there. Kyo just didn't seem to realize the pain he kept on inflicting on Kagura and myself. Tohru, in all her obliviousness, just blushed causing further harm on myself. I looked up at Kagura and saw that she was ignoring the scene that unfolded before me by chatting happily with Ayame and Shigure.

I looked at her face and saw that although she was smiling, there was a definite coldness in her eyes. I let my gaze drift down to her plain leather bag and I think about the airline ticket. Would she really go? Would Akito let her go? Could I allow her to go?

I looked back at Tohru and Kyo, then back to Kagura. Letting my feet guide me, I slowly drifted to the small group gathered about Kagura. I looked at the three men and then at little Kagura who cowered from my presence. Feeling a little hurt, I let a small fake smile grace my lips and when my brother saw this, he shot off with his long speeches.

"See Shii-chan! Yuki can't go on without his dearest brother!"

"You're my only brother…" I let my comment trail off, creating a small silence. I heard a small giggling sound. I looked behind me and saw Kagura trying to stifle a small giggle. I smiled slightly as we walked into the small restaurant. We looked around and saw the waitress, who smiled and lead us to a 'secluded' table.

I watched as the waitress placed a menu before everyone at the table, she paused and looked at me. I could tell that she was somewhat afraid, why? Well maybe it's because I put up my mask, my violet eyes flashed dangerously. She hastily placed, almost threw, my menu before me and ran off.

"Yuki…" Shigure shook his head as he looked down at the table.

I looked around the table. I was sitting across from Tohru, who was sitting next to Kyo. I was sitting between Kagura and Shigure while Ayame and Hatori sat at the head of both ends of the there was an empty seat besides Tohru and this made me wonder why I didn't get up and sit there. Kagura seemed to sense my confusion because she looked up at me and gestured to the seat with her eyes.

I smiled lightly; it was funny how she seemed to know what I was feeling at a given moment. I glance at Tohru once more and see that she had started a conversation with Hatori and Kyo; as much as I wanted to join in I refrained from doing so. Kyo eyed me for a second then turned his full attention to Tohru.

"Ne Tohru-kun? What are you talking about over there?" Shigure called out while giving a little wave of his hand.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we had a picnic tomorrow? I mean, we don't have school seeing as it is a weekend and there's nothing else to do around the house since Kyo-kun and…" There was a small pause, "Sohma-san hasn't been fighting as much."

I could always trust Tohru to hurt me unintentionally. Suddenly she became quiet and everyone knew in an instant that something was wrong. She was always quiet when something was wrong, suddenly she burst out laughing. I could tell that she was trying to drive attention away from herself so she pointed towards Kagura and smiled.

"What profession are you thinking about doing when you leave college?" She smiled as brightly as she could. Kagura looked pensive for a moment, "I'm not really sure…"

"You could be a designer! You love sewing and you made that cute little cat bag!"

That one hit home… Kagura looked as if she would have busted into tears, but I must commend her on her ability to hide it almost as well as I could. Since I myself have been shielding all my emotions, I knew all the tricks used to hide the pain that others inflicted. Kagura bowed her head in what seemed to be mock modesty and slowly whispered, "Tohru-kun, you exaggerate!"

Her head snapped up as she flashed everyone a radiant smile, "But, my bag was pretty cute!"

Poor Kagura, I looked over to my side and saw her smile, but small tears were threatening to fall from her eyes.

I gently take her limp hand in my own and just smiled when she looked up at me. She looked so confused… and so cute. Taking a small sip of my drink, I give her small hand a gentle squeeze. I saw her neck start turning red and gave a small chuckle; I don't know why, but she's just so cute when she blushes.

"Kagura, are you feeling well?" Tohru reached over and touched Kagura's other hand. Kagura pulled her hand back as if she had been burned, but instead of leaving a pause she scratched the back of her head as if she intended to do that.

Smiling slightly, she excuses herself to get some air outside. I don't understand why she seemed so stress. I can understand that she may feel a little anger and envy towards Tohru, but why does she seem to be taking it too far…

Kagura

I know that Yuki is just trying to help, but why does he have to do things that just further confuse me? Why must I feel warmth when he's around? Why does that warmth just make me want to be close to him all the time?

I walk outside and stare at my hand. He held it, he squeezed it, and he treated me as if we were lovers. I hear footsteps behind me and a hand gently patting my back. I shy away from it, thinking that Yuki has followed me again.

"Why do-" I suddenly cover my mouth with my hands. It was Kyo… I looked deep into his eyes and tried to tell myself once again, this is the love of my life.

"Kagura…"

Is this the moment I have been waiting for? Did he finally change his mind? Oh Kyo, please let it be so that Yuki can stop whatever he's doing to me! Don't you know how much I love you?

"Kagura, I… I'm sorry, I can't understand what's going on between you and Yuki, but please try to open up to him. I know Yuki and he'd never want to hurt anyone, but Kagura stop pushing him away. I don't know why you love me, but I do know that I may never love you any more than a bigger sister." Kyo looked down into my eyes; I see pity in his eyes.

Turning my head, I let my words just spill from my mouth, "How would you know? You never want to understand, how could you when you hated me so much? I guess I should be blamed for that, but… I don't know Kyo… I love you, I've always loved you. I don't need your pity."

"But, you need help and Yuki might be the person who could help you."

"I don't want him, I don't want anyone! Kyo, I know I'm selfish and I can't help it, it's just that… that I feel so guilty without you! I feel guilty knowing that I caused you pain… Kyo I-"

"The waitress is taking our orders!" A voice suddenly cut my onslaught of words and both us look at the source of the interruption. It was Ayame and being the person he is, he ran off before either me or Kyo could say a word.

Feeling so torn open and empty, I bowed my head to hide my face. I revealed so much, too much. I can't afford to do this again! I don't want to ruin Tohru's relationship, but at the same time I want Kyo for myself.

I could feel his cold hard stare at my head, "We'll talk about this later…"

I slowly nod my head, "I'm not really hungry anymore, tell them I'll just wait…" I pause a moment and observe our surroundings, "at that pet shop." I commented while pointing to a petit pet shop that had little marker drawings of animals on the window.

I look up at Kyo and saw a frown that marred his normally calm face. "Okay…" Was his hesitant reply.

I sighed and walked towards the pet shop, animals always seem to comfort me when no one else can.

Ayame

I frowned as I walked back into the restaurant. Kagura seemed hurt and Kyo seemed to be caring… what could be going on? Shaking my head, I try to ignore the growing sense of dread within me, but feelings like this can't just disappear. These events that past… the events that Shigure is constantly pestering me about, it's more complicated than I initially thought. I turn and look behind me to see if Kyo or Kagura were following, to my great discomfort it was only Kyo.

"Hey, lucky Kyo, where's Kagura?"

"She's not really hungry, so she just went to the pet shop across the street." I sigh loudly as I look down at the floor. Although I never admitted it out-loud, Kagura was one of my more favored cousins. Most of it was because in a way we are so alike. Unrequited love keeps us moving, it's our reason for waking up in the morning.

I try desperately to rekindle a brother relationship that has long diminished, just as she tries to further her relationship with Kyo although he pays her no heed. Both me and Kagura understand what it feels like to be 'jet down' or 'left behind.' No one can truly say that they are depressed till all the world is against them and when someone you love rejects you, it sure as hell feels like the whole world is putting you down.

At the table, I noticed that Yuki seemed to have a special – I don't know – bond with Kagura? Could Yuki be developing a fondness for our Kagura-chan?

It seems like a fairytale… the hero comforts the heroine and they begin to rely on each other for 'escaping' the real world and delving into one of their own.

Then it struck me like a ten ton of bricks, Kyo didn't notice that I called him by his little 'pet name.'

Sighing ruefully, I notice, with great distaste, that it's no fun picking on someone if they don't respond. I look towards the table and I saw the look that flashed onto Yuki's face when he saw that it was only Kyo and I who returned. He quickly puts on his 'mask,' but it's too late because I saw him on that one moment when his guard was down.

I knew Tohru could feel a certain 'tenseness' radiating off of Kyo, but being the light-hearted person she was she didn't comment on it.

Kyo forced a strain smile onto his face, but I knew that something – more like someone – was bothering him. Kagura… poor Kagura-chan who wanted nothing more than to have her love, love her back. I know how it feels to wish on every star that one person would just pay attention to you, that you don't have to hide yourself. I know more than anyone else could possibly understand…

But, it isn't like me to be depressed. Being the energetic Sohma, a punch will not keep me down forever, just as pain and pleasure are fleeting.

I sat down in my chair and glance at Shigure, who was staring at me with questionable eyes. It seems that Shigure would always know when there's something wrong. Taking a brief glance at Hatori I find that the same thing applies to him as well.

I toss a carefree smile towards the waitress, who in response blushed. Before anyone was able to order, Yuki stood up and walked away from the table. Before he left, he stopped by Kyo and asked him a single question that seemed to surprise everyone at the table.

"Where's Kagura?"

I heard from Shigure that whenever Kagura disappeared it seemed that Yuki would as well.

Kyo overcame his surprise with a slight tilt of the head and pointed to the chain of stores opposite of the restaurant.

"She's at the pet shop…"

I looked up at Yuki and see that he seems somewhat confused, "Don't you know where the pet shop is?"

He shakes his head. I shake mine as well, mostly because my brother was quite dense at times… I'm just kidding of course. Smiling brightly, I yank my brother's arm towards the door and out we went.

"I'll take you there!" I exclaimed before dragging him out of the restaurant. This could give me and my brother some time to 'bond.'

TO BE CONTINUED…

Sorry for the EXTREMELY short chapter and the LONG update, but I couldn't think of what to write. Can anyone give me ideas? Please! I'm pretty desperate right now… Oh well, that's okay! Don't worry though, I promise that I'll finish this fic!