Author's Note: It's summer, yippee! Okay, I'm sorry about the long update, but I just came back from San Antonio and didn't have time to think about this fic until now. Oh well, I hope you guys like this chapter seeing as it isn't very long… again. I think this fic is almost finished… maybe about two or three more chapters.

Summary: She was desperate for love. That was all that she had ever wanted and it was torn from her by Tohru… Will Kagura ever find solace in another person?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters… just the plot… I think…

I'll Forget It All

Chapter Sixteen

Kagura

Cats… there were a lot of cats in the pet shop. Kyo… He was cursed with the sign of the cat and ever since he was born, was feared because of his third form. That horrible monster-like form, which separated him from the other zodiac members, was also a blessing to him. Because of that form, he was able to find his true passion for Tohru. She didn't run away from him, instead she stayed by him and helped him.

It didn't matter to him anymore if he was accepted in the family or not because now he had Tohru. She was able to open his eyes and show him things I wanted to. She was able to let him feel things I wanted him to. She was his hero, his savior, his love; everything I wanted to be, everything I dreamed of.

Now that my dreams of love are shattered I had to replace them with another, but seeing something so precious shatter before my very eyes was too much. I have to get away, escape. I need peace and something new to help me forget about the old.

My gaze drifted to the small mousse behind the glass windows.

Yuki… he also lost someone. He wasn't able to love Tohru the way he wanted. He wasn't able to claim her for his own. I know it's wrong of me to wish so, but I just wished Tohru would love Yuki instead. That way everyone would be happy… or well, I'd be happy and Kyo would probably fall into the depression I'm in now. But, should I strive for my own happiness at the expense of others?

No, and that is why I am so sad. Because there is nothing I can do and nothing I would do to prevent Kyo from finding his happiness in Tohru.

She's my friend, as well as my rival. I love her and yet part of me wants to hurt her like she hurt me. But, I can never really, truly hate Tohru. She's too kind and gentle. She's beautiful and wonderful. She's like a flower that grows on the care of others and in turn bring happiness and beauty into the world.

I wanted to be just like Tohru, just to catch Kyo's eyes, but every time I tried I always failed. I wasn't good enough to perfectly imitate her actions. I was too selfish, too greedy. Whenever I saw Kyo, I just had to have him. I pounced like a wild animal pouncing upon food. I wasn't lady-like as I should be, but it didn't matter. After all, I was the boar of the zodiac. The stubborn, strong, and wild boar.

"Can I please see the cat?" I asked the woman in charge while pointing at the orange kitten playing with the yarn ball.

It was so adorable. It played with the yarn ball, pouncing on top of it and eventually toppling off of it.

I watched as the back hatch opened and two hands pulled the kitten out of the glass confinements. The door closed once more and I waited patiently for the lady to return. When she did, with the kitty in tow, she handed the little one to me and guided me to one of the vacant play pens.

"Thank you."

"That little one is a boy." She stated as she left.

I smiled down at the kitten and smiled, "You're a really handsome boy. I wonder can I give you a nickname. A name you while you're with me."

I know I sound silly talking to a cat that could not even understand me, but I couldn't help it. As the small cat looked up at me with its big brown eyes it felt as if the cat could understand what I was talking about. I know it sounds like a cliché and maybe it's just in my mind, but the cat looks just like Kyo in his cat form. I hugged the cat and plucked a yarn ball from the toy basket in the corner of the play pen.

I wonder, can we ever break the curse? Would there ever be a time when we could be like normal people? A time when I could give my daddy a hug. A time when I could date like a normal person.

Maybe when that happens, I'll finally be able to let Kyo go… but, still there's always Yuki… No. Yuki loves Tohru and nothing's going to change that. But still, that doesn't stop me from wondering how it would be to be loved by him. He's so kind, gentle, and polite. After the kiss he had given to me on the roof, I've caught myself thinking about him.

There was something different, something that I hadn't notice until now. There was something gentler, kinder, and loving about Yuki, but I always pinned it to Tohru. Everything was about Tohru, but she was too naïve to see it. She was so oblivious, she was like a child. She accepted all of us, even our curse, with a childlike innocence.

Her love was able to free many of us from the second part of our curse: loneliness.

She loved all of us, even Akito. She cared for him, sympathized him, and pitied him. Through the pain he inflicted on her, she would always smile. Like a child she would fall and bounce right back up.

But I, as the fragile woman I am, I had to hold onto something tangible, something that I could feel just to make sure I could feel. I needed something alive. That's why I grew so attached and possessive of anything that I owned or loved. Kyo didn't like it, of course, and that lead to the downfall of our pathetic relationship.

Then, I heard little mewing and remembered that I was in a pet shop.

"…"

Was I really going to talk to a cat?

"What does it feel like to have only one form? At least you can hug both of your parents." Sigh. "I can't even hug my daddy because of this curse."

Yuki

My brother and I walked in silence towards the chain of shops at the other side of the parking lot. Sometimes my brother can be someone reliable, like now, but sometimes he can be someone I hate with passion, like during my childhood.

"What's been going on lately?"

Ayame didn't seriously think I'd answer that, did he?

Silence.

"Are things fine between you and Tohru?"

Silence.

"Yuki, you need to tell someone about your feelings, don't bottle it up." He reprimanded lightly, "Let me be your confidant!"

"Would you ever give up?"

Blink, blink.

Ayame was about to reply, but then stopped himself and turned away. He continued to walk, but the little 'bounce' wasn't there. Instead of walking tall and proud, his head drooped and his shoulders slouched. Did my comment really hurt him?

Letting my conscience get the better of me, I apologized.

"Its okay, Yuki. You didn't say anything wrong."

I turned to him as he smiled at me. I didn't understand what was going on in his mind, but I did understand that he would never give up.

"Yuki, you're my brother and I treated you badly in the past, so it is to be expected for you to hate me. I just thought that we may bridge our two minds…"

Dramatic, as usual.

"We must at least meet 'half way."

Sometimes I wanted to know more about my older brother, but my pride wouldn't let me. He, indeed, has treated me badly, but now he was willing to apologize and start over. Even if we start over, that won't erase the fact that he has ignored and abandoned me through the years. Even if we forget everything that's happened up to this point, the pain would still be there.

"Yuki?"

I realized that I was spacing out once again.

"Yeah?"

Ayame smiled brightly, doing something that I didn't understand. How could he smile at a time like this?

"What?"

"My little brother is SMILING!"

I pressed my hand against my lips and found that I was smiling. Why was I smiling though?

I was thinking about the pain he caused me and then… smile…

Maybe it was his crazy antics to gain attention. Even though I pretend not to be interested, his high school stories are very amusing.

And in my mind… I knew that we had met 'half way.'

We walked once again in silence, letting the other reflect on the events that happened up to now and the events that could happen in the future.

Again I remind myself, tonight is the party and we should enjoy.

"Everything between Tohru and I are fine." I confided, breaking the silence. Ayame glanced at me and smiled.

"That's nice. At least my little brother learned to grow up."

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?"

"Oh… the little baby is finally maturing!" He cooed happily.

"I don't know what that means; I am more mature than you are." I said finally, crossing my arms over my chest and turning my head the other way in a childish sort of way. Isn't it weird that when I least need him, he's here…

For once in my life, I finally respected and acknowledge him as my older brother. Sensing this, he beamed with happiness and once again we walked in silence although this time it wasn't as tense as it had been only minutes before.

When we finally reached the pet shop, he left without a word. Instead he winked at me over his shoulder and gave a small wave, leaving with his little 'bounce.'

TBC

Really sorry about the long update, but I had things on my mind and well we got a puppy. We named it Po-chan. It's so cute, I think it's a Yorkshire Terrier.

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