A/N: Thanks for all the great feedback! This part has heavy Literati, and
heavy angsty!Jess. so be warned.
Jess's phone call had been calm. They'd talked about her reading list for the semester, and he told her he'd read them with her if she wanted. She'd smiled at that, and realized then how much she'd missed having a reading buddy.
When Rory walked into the hospital that afternoon, she hadn't expected anything to be amiss. Jess hadn't mentioned that his father had arrived.
She spotted Liz sitting in the waiting room with a scruffy-looking man sitting next to her.
"Rory," Liz said, getting up. "I thought you weren't stopping by today."
She shrugged. "Jess called... I guess I just..."
Liz smiled. "Yeah."
Rory glanced behind Liz at the man, who was still sitting, and then gave an inquiring look to Liz.
"Jimmy," Liz told her quietly.
"Oh," Rory replied, slightly surprised. "Jess didn't mention..."
Liz nodded. "Didn't think he would. Wanna meet him?"
"Uh..." she was a bit unsure. "Sure, I guess..."
Liz turned and nodded Jimmy over. He got up and made his way to them.
"Jimmy Mariano, Rory Gilmore. Rory, this is Jess's dad, Jimmy."
They shook hands, and Rory remained polite. Liz told Jimmy that Rory was Jess's girlfriend, and he sighed and smiled a little and commented that it was "nice" that Jess had someone.
She felt awkward about meeting Jess's father like this. She felt as if she should have a stern talking to about how she was to treat their son, like the one Jess would get from her mother when he was a little better. She thought about asking Luke for one later.
She wondered why Jimmy had left. Maybe if he hadn't things would be different for Jess. Then again, if this were so, she probably wouldn't have ever met him. She didn't really want to think about that, though. He was, after all, just down the hall and to the right.
After Rory finished exchanging pleasantries, she walked down the hall and to the right and opened Jess's door. He was lying in bed again, hooked up to the same monitors as before, holding Hephaestus in front of him, staring.
She smiled a little and climbed onto the bed to sit with him. "I bet that bear can hold the most invigorating conversations."
He looked up at her and sat up slowly. "Hi. I thought you said you were going to study today."
"I was," she nodded. "But we're reading 'Howl' in class."
"So?"
"So," Rory went on. "When I read 'Howl' I think Jess."
"Ah, so I'm a cheap distraction."
"Very."
He smirked.
She sighed and turned to face him. "So... your dad's here."
His expression turned stony, and he went back to staring at the small bear. "He is."
"I met him," Rory told him. "He's seems... polite."
Jess didn't reply.
"You fought, didn't you?"
He nodded.
She sighed. "Jess, why didn't you tell me?"
"You were in a good mood from class," he replied. "Why spoil that?"
"Because I want to know what's going on with you," Rory replied. "This is what I was talking about when I said he had to work to be together. You've got to tell me things."
"I'm not good at it."
"Well, get good at it, because that's how this is going to work," she told him.
They sat in silence.
"I hate him."
She nodded, and looked at him, as he stared back at the bear.
"He left the day I was born," he said quietly. "And he came to see me last year. So I followed him, because he just... cut out on me again, and I wanted to know."
"Know what?"
"Everything."
They sat in silence.
"He doesn't want me," Jess said flatly.
"I do," she told him.
He kept looking at the bear. "Why?"
She stared. He couldn't be serious. After this past month, he couldn't possibly be serious.
"I'm not kidding," he told her, still not looking her in the eyes.
"Because I love you, you doofus," she replied, a tinge of anger in her voice.
He finally turned from the bear and stared at her. He loved her eyes. Big, blue, swallow-you-whole eyes. He could stare for hours. "Love you, too," he told her quietly. The words still felt strange coming from his mouth, but it was what she wanted to hear, and it was what he wanted to say. He looked back down at the bear in his hands, and shoved it in her arms.
"No."
"Take him," Jess replied. "I want you to."
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't fit my image."
"I bet you James Dean had a teddy," Rory snickered.
Jess nodded with a smirk. "I bet he sucked his thumb, too."
"Mhm." She sighed and finally took Hephaestus from him. "Fine. I'll take him. But if you want him back, you're getting him back."
He nodded and kissed her briefly. "Okay."
"So, when are you going to talk to your dad?"
He shook his head. "Not going to."
"Why?"
"Because I don't have anything to say."
"Well... he did come all this way..."
"Because he felt guilty," Jess told her. "Because the week after I leave his place I nearly get killed."
"What if he does care?" Rory asked him. "You're assuming something pretty hurtful."
Jess didn't reply.
"It's your decision," she told him. "All I'm saying is...maybe you should try to talk."
Jess snorted. "You think I'm no good at talking things out, you should see him."
Rory sighed and got up. "I have to get my homework done," she told him. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Just... think about what I said."
He nodded, not looking at her. "You mad at me?"
"Nope. Exasperated."
He nodded. "Bye."
She kissed the top of his head and then walked out.
*****
She called him after class the next day, and, to her surprise, he picked up the phone, and not the nurse who usually had to set things up so they could speak.
"Hello?"
"Jess?"
"Hi."
"What are you doing?"
"Downloading porn."
"Liar."
"Yeah."
"Did you talk to your dad?"
"Yeah," he told her. "He left."
"That bad, huh?"
"No," Jess replied with a sigh. "It was just... a mutual agreement of distance."
She nodded and sighed, sitting on her bed. "Is that what you want?"
He didn't reply.
"You don't know."
He sighed again. "I don't know."
"Is your mom still there?" Rory asked, playing with her foot a little.
"She's leaving tonight."
"Why?"
"TJ."
She frowned. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he replied. "I didn't expect her to stay."
"Do you wish she would?"
He didn't reply.
He didn't know.
Jess's phone call had been calm. They'd talked about her reading list for the semester, and he told her he'd read them with her if she wanted. She'd smiled at that, and realized then how much she'd missed having a reading buddy.
When Rory walked into the hospital that afternoon, she hadn't expected anything to be amiss. Jess hadn't mentioned that his father had arrived.
She spotted Liz sitting in the waiting room with a scruffy-looking man sitting next to her.
"Rory," Liz said, getting up. "I thought you weren't stopping by today."
She shrugged. "Jess called... I guess I just..."
Liz smiled. "Yeah."
Rory glanced behind Liz at the man, who was still sitting, and then gave an inquiring look to Liz.
"Jimmy," Liz told her quietly.
"Oh," Rory replied, slightly surprised. "Jess didn't mention..."
Liz nodded. "Didn't think he would. Wanna meet him?"
"Uh..." she was a bit unsure. "Sure, I guess..."
Liz turned and nodded Jimmy over. He got up and made his way to them.
"Jimmy Mariano, Rory Gilmore. Rory, this is Jess's dad, Jimmy."
They shook hands, and Rory remained polite. Liz told Jimmy that Rory was Jess's girlfriend, and he sighed and smiled a little and commented that it was "nice" that Jess had someone.
She felt awkward about meeting Jess's father like this. She felt as if she should have a stern talking to about how she was to treat their son, like the one Jess would get from her mother when he was a little better. She thought about asking Luke for one later.
She wondered why Jimmy had left. Maybe if he hadn't things would be different for Jess. Then again, if this were so, she probably wouldn't have ever met him. She didn't really want to think about that, though. He was, after all, just down the hall and to the right.
After Rory finished exchanging pleasantries, she walked down the hall and to the right and opened Jess's door. He was lying in bed again, hooked up to the same monitors as before, holding Hephaestus in front of him, staring.
She smiled a little and climbed onto the bed to sit with him. "I bet that bear can hold the most invigorating conversations."
He looked up at her and sat up slowly. "Hi. I thought you said you were going to study today."
"I was," she nodded. "But we're reading 'Howl' in class."
"So?"
"So," Rory went on. "When I read 'Howl' I think Jess."
"Ah, so I'm a cheap distraction."
"Very."
He smirked.
She sighed and turned to face him. "So... your dad's here."
His expression turned stony, and he went back to staring at the small bear. "He is."
"I met him," Rory told him. "He's seems... polite."
Jess didn't reply.
"You fought, didn't you?"
He nodded.
She sighed. "Jess, why didn't you tell me?"
"You were in a good mood from class," he replied. "Why spoil that?"
"Because I want to know what's going on with you," Rory replied. "This is what I was talking about when I said he had to work to be together. You've got to tell me things."
"I'm not good at it."
"Well, get good at it, because that's how this is going to work," she told him.
They sat in silence.
"I hate him."
She nodded, and looked at him, as he stared back at the bear.
"He left the day I was born," he said quietly. "And he came to see me last year. So I followed him, because he just... cut out on me again, and I wanted to know."
"Know what?"
"Everything."
They sat in silence.
"He doesn't want me," Jess said flatly.
"I do," she told him.
He kept looking at the bear. "Why?"
She stared. He couldn't be serious. After this past month, he couldn't possibly be serious.
"I'm not kidding," he told her, still not looking her in the eyes.
"Because I love you, you doofus," she replied, a tinge of anger in her voice.
He finally turned from the bear and stared at her. He loved her eyes. Big, blue, swallow-you-whole eyes. He could stare for hours. "Love you, too," he told her quietly. The words still felt strange coming from his mouth, but it was what she wanted to hear, and it was what he wanted to say. He looked back down at the bear in his hands, and shoved it in her arms.
"No."
"Take him," Jess replied. "I want you to."
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't fit my image."
"I bet you James Dean had a teddy," Rory snickered.
Jess nodded with a smirk. "I bet he sucked his thumb, too."
"Mhm." She sighed and finally took Hephaestus from him. "Fine. I'll take him. But if you want him back, you're getting him back."
He nodded and kissed her briefly. "Okay."
"So, when are you going to talk to your dad?"
He shook his head. "Not going to."
"Why?"
"Because I don't have anything to say."
"Well... he did come all this way..."
"Because he felt guilty," Jess told her. "Because the week after I leave his place I nearly get killed."
"What if he does care?" Rory asked him. "You're assuming something pretty hurtful."
Jess didn't reply.
"It's your decision," she told him. "All I'm saying is...maybe you should try to talk."
Jess snorted. "You think I'm no good at talking things out, you should see him."
Rory sighed and got up. "I have to get my homework done," she told him. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Just... think about what I said."
He nodded, not looking at her. "You mad at me?"
"Nope. Exasperated."
He nodded. "Bye."
She kissed the top of his head and then walked out.
*****
She called him after class the next day, and, to her surprise, he picked up the phone, and not the nurse who usually had to set things up so they could speak.
"Hello?"
"Jess?"
"Hi."
"What are you doing?"
"Downloading porn."
"Liar."
"Yeah."
"Did you talk to your dad?"
"Yeah," he told her. "He left."
"That bad, huh?"
"No," Jess replied with a sigh. "It was just... a mutual agreement of distance."
She nodded and sighed, sitting on her bed. "Is that what you want?"
He didn't reply.
"You don't know."
He sighed again. "I don't know."
"Is your mom still there?" Rory asked, playing with her foot a little.
"She's leaving tonight."
"Why?"
"TJ."
She frowned. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he replied. "I didn't expect her to stay."
"Do you wish she would?"
He didn't reply.
He didn't know.