New Year
In the days that followed, there was much activity in the city. Travel plans were made, personal treasures were packed and provisions were gathered. Nyére was busy seeing to the needs of her people with Cilmo and Séretur helping. Polodrin drew the interest of the curious and visitors came to sit in the garden and ask questions about the Men of the West.
Legolas also drew attention as the only fair haired Elf they had seen in their wood. The beginning of friendship between the Avari and their future neighbors was being formed and Legolas was pleased. For the most part, the Avari were not hateful people. They were skilled artisans and musicians, in tune with the land and growing things. Gardens were a common sight in the city and they were an impressive sight even in winter. Legolas hoped they would feel welcome and comfortable in their new home.
Thelyn and Jamie spent much of their time in the forest. Jamie liked the trees here and felt strangely drawn to the stone in the glen. For Thelyn it was good to just be alone with her and listen to her sing. For Jamie it felt refreshing, like coming home.
Alcon spent his days with his new family. He just wanted this time to let them get comfortable with him. Godwin seemed the most ready to accept this newly formed family. Alcon used the title 'son' more frequently, and Godwin began answering to it. Lyneya noticed how close they were becoming but said nothing about it. She seemed distant, even more than before and it worried Alcon. He was the perfect respectful Elf, maintaining his distance as if she were an acquaintance. He thought he could be happy just having her near, but it was miserable. Her smiles were forced, and any signs of kindness or acceptance from her were motivated by gratitude. So he kept his word, though it hurt, never asking anything of her. She seemed to have a heart of stone, and he thought he would never see the day when she returned his love.
Three days had passed since the council, and Alcon was walking Lyneya to their room after putting Godwin to bed. He ventured his first attempt at showing her affection by putting an arm around her shoulders as they walked. She didn't pull away, but they were still in public. When they reached the privacy of their room, he saw her blush and timidly step away to go to the wardrobe.
Alcon reminded himself that their relationship was still very new and tried not to feel hurt. He left her the space she still needed and changed for bed. She stripped off her clothes and put her nightgown on without even glancing his way. He wondered if she was beginning to trust him. While her back was turned, he snuck a look. She was about to slip her nightgown over head and he saw her naked form briefly. His eyes doubled in size when he saw her back marred by nearly a dozen long red scars. She turned to come to bed and he quickly turned away. If she knew he'd seen her she'd be upset. His need to build her trust was greater than his need to know what happened to her. She came to bed and lay down, still maintaining her distance.
"Goodnight Alcon," she said softly.
"Goodnight Lyneya," he said.
She rolled over and went to sleep but Alcon just stared at the ceiling. He felt as though he shared his bed with a stranger. She kept her feelings hidden, and he was growing frustrated. It took all of his patience to keep from crushing her in his arms and pouring his heart out to her. After a while of watching her sleep, he finally lost himself to oblivion as well.
Sometime during the night he felt the bed move and he woke. All was quiet save the restless sleeper beside him. She was tossing and turning, and there was terror on her face. He sat up and moved closer, unsure of what to do. When he heard her whimper, he couldn't take it anymore and spoke.
"Lyneya, wake up, it is a dream," he said.
Her eyes flew open and she was panting as if trying to catch her breath, "Wha…?"
"Shhh, I am here, it was but a dream," he soothed softly. "You are safe, Lyneya. I won't let anything happen to you."
Lyneya looked at him with searching eyes. He waited for her to speak, but she said nothing. Then he saw a tear in her eyes and just pulled her close. She buried her face in his chest and he held her tight and let her cry. As her body racked with sobs, she didn't pull away but snuggled close and Alcon closed his eyes. Comfort, only comfort, but she was in his arms and it was heavenly. Finally she quieted, but made no move to pull away.
"Thank you," she whispered softly.
"Shhh, no thanks are needed. Go back to sleep, I am here," he said. "I will not leave you."
She shifted a little in his arms but didn't leave the comfort of his embrace. With her head resting on his arm and her body tucked in close to his, she drifted back to sleep. Alcon wrapped a hand around her waist and sighed contentedly before joining her in slumber.
Lyneya woke in Alcon's arms that morning and realized she didn't mind. It was strange that after all her protests, she found that she really did trust him. He treated her with dignity and respect, something that the women of her country never see. She liked him; she knew she could not deny that. He was the only person who had ever treated her with such selfless kindness. She looked at his face, serene and handsome. His red hair fell over his shoulders and onto her neck, and she smiled. It was not what she had expected for her life. She expected to be caught in a raid and mistreated until she died. The life expectancy of a woman in the plains was short. Never would she have thought to be rescued by an Elf. She never would have thought she'd be married to one, even if it was just for show. She closed her eyes and listened to him breathe. She could feel his heartbeat, and it was strong and steady, like him. When she opened her eyes, he was looking at her.
"Did you sleep okay?" he asked.
Lyneya smiled, "Yes, thank you. I'm sorry about last night."
"I'm not," Alcon said. "I'm sorry your dreams were unpleasant, but I'm not sorry we…"
"I know what you meant," she said.
Alcon smiled, but made no move to release her.
"Alcon?"
"Yes?"
"I really do trust you. I've never trusted anyone before, but I trust you," she said seriously.
Alcon looked into her eyes and saw truth in their depths. "Your trust is a gift, Lyneya, but I must confess, I want more."
"Trust is all I can offer you," she said with a furrowed brow. "This was your idea, not mine, remember?"
Alcon sat up and turned away. "Yes, it was," he said quickly. "I gave you my word and I will not break it."
He was trying to convince himself he could maintain his distance, but his will was failing. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, and love her. Last night she had let him get close, but this morning she was pulling away again. It was painful beyond description. He rose and dressed quickly, desperate to get out of here for a little while. If he remained in this room another minute he would say or do something he would regret. He reached for the door and turned back to her a moment.
"I'll see you at breakfast," he said softly.
Lyneya offered him a smile, but it was obviously a shaky one. He turned back to the door and scowled. This was much harder than he'd thought.
Thelyn ran into Alcon just as he emerged from his room. He noticed the frustration immediately and cocked a brow at him.
"What?" Alcon asked in annoyance.
"I am not blind," Thelyn said. "You may keep your secret from everyone else, but not me."
"I have no secret," Alcon said.
"Really? Then you are not just pretending to be married," Thelyn said.
"You would not understand," Alcon said.
"Try me," Thelyn said sternly.
Alcon looked around and paused. He just gave his brother a nod toward the door and they went outside. Once he was satisfied they were alone, he confessed.
"It is true," he said simply.
"Why?"
"So I could protect her and Godwin, at least at first," Alcon said. "I love them, Thelyn. It makes my whole chest ache I love them so much."
"But?" Thelyn prompted.
"You remember when we were children and we found that sparrow?"
"The one with the broken wing? Yes, I remember," Thelyn said. "I remember you cried when he was mended and flew away."
"Lyneya is like that," Alcon said. "She's been hurt so much she needs time to get her wings back."
Thelyn sighed, "Is she mending?"
"Slowly," Alcon said sadly. "Very slowly."
"So you haven't…"
"That is not your business," Alcon said.
"Hmmm, that's a no then," Thelyn said with a grin. "I'll wager I will know when your sparrow is mended and your marriage becomes official."
"There is nothing humorous about this," Alcon said. "I'm all tore up inside."
"You are the most patient one in the family," Thelyn said seriously. "You can see this through."
"Easy for you to say, your wife adores you," Alcon said and just headed back inside.
He looked around for Lyneya and found her in the hall sitting with Godwin. He sat beside her and once again played the part of loving husband. She maintained her part as loving wife but Thelyn knew, and Alcon suspected the others knew as well. Only Godwin seemed to believe the act. There was little to be said or done to change it. Alcon just treated her with respect and devotion while he waited on her heart.
The one encouraging part of Alcon's days was his time spent with Godwin. The child not only accepted and trusted him, he loved him. They spent hours playing together or riding in the wood. Alcon found a child's bow and was teaching the boy archery.
Lyneya watched the pair together, sometimes covertly. She was pleased to see her brother happy and safe. There was sincere affection in Alcon's eyes and Lyneya's opinions about Elves was slowly changing, at least where Alcon was concerned. She found herself smiling more, and she actually looked forward to sitting by him at meals. At night she still watched him, but without fear. She thought of the night he'd comforted her and she smiled to herself. She'd never felt that safe before. She was too proud to admit it, but she liked him, she liked him very much.
The week went by quickly and the arrangement had not changed between them. Alcon made no more overtures of affection and Lyneya still slept on the edge of the bed. On the morning of New Year's Eve, Lyneya woke to the sight of Alcon rummaging for something under the bed.
"What are you doing?" she asked as she sat up on her elbows and looked at him curiously.
"It is New Years tonight," he said as if that would explain it.
"Happy New Year," she said. "What are you doing?"
Alcon found his parcel and stood up. "This is for you," he said, "for the feast tonight."
Lyneya sat up and looked at the brown paper package with surprise. "A gift?" she said in wonder.
"Open it," he said.
Lyneya opened the paper carefully, almost reverently and Alcon felt a lump in his throat. Were gifts so rare for her? When she saw what was inside she gasped.
"It is a new gown," she said with a catch in her voice. "It's beautiful, my favorite color." She held it up and admired the delicate pink fabric. "I never… It's the nicest… Thank you very much." Tears filled her eyes and she looked at him and smiled warmly. "I love it, thank you."
Alcon reached out and gently wiped a tear from her cheeks, "You are welcome he said softly through the lump in his throat. "I can't wait to see you wear it."
"I'll put it on now," she said.
"I'll wait outside," Alcon said and headed for the door.
"No," she said. "I'll trust you not to look. I think everyone is suspicious of our arrangement as it is."
Alcon stopped at the door, resting his head against it and sighed. Was she really that blind? Did she think he had no feelings at all? "I am certain they know, but it doesn't matter. I cannot stay, I just …can't."
Alcon left abruptly and Lyneya stared at the door. Why not? He was fine at bedtime and she trusted him. She just didn't want things to be awkward for him with his friends. She furrowed her brow and looked at the gown again. It was the most feminine gown she'd ever seen. She put it on and went to the wardrobe to see how it looked in the mirror. The reflection before her was a stranger. She always expected to see a boy looking back at her. The dress was a fine gift and she couldn't wait for him to see her in it. She emerged from the room and looked at him expectantly.
He looked at her, standing there blushing innocently. Her fair skin was glowing and her eyes shone bright. He couldn't help but notice the delicate curve of her breasts and the narrow waist that accentuated her enticing round hips. He found her desirable from head to toe. She looked at him, waiting for him to speak but all he could see was her full red lips.
"What do you think?" she asked nervously.
"You are beautiful," he said softly.
Her blush darkened and she smiled shyly. Alcon felt his breeches tighten over his groin and he groaned inwardly and took her hand. He led her to breakfast and Godwin stared at her.
"Oiy, Lyneya! You look nice," Godwin said.
"Yes, the color is most becoming," Legolas agreed.
Lyneya thanked them for the compliments and breakfast went on as usual. Nyere discussed the business of the departure and plans were made for the feast. Polodrin mentioned the need for a little hunting, and Alcon and Thelyn were quick to volunteer.
"We'll be glad to go with you," Alcon said.
"Are you sure you can tear yourself away from your bride?" Polodrin asked with a smirk.
Alcon gave Lyneya's hand a squeeze, "My wife will probably enjoy the break," he said, emphasizing the word wife.
"I'll miss you," Lyneya said, "But I know how much you like to hunt. Go on and have a nice day. I'll see you tonight."
Alcon smiled at her response and he leaned over and kissed her cheek, "Thanks, love. I'll see you later." He got up and strode out of the room with Thelyn and Lyneya looked at Polodrin smugly. When he'd left, and she was left, she let out the breath she was holding and touched her cheek. He kissed her. It was the first time, and she suddenly blushed.
Legolas chuckled, "When are you going to see his heart, Lyneya?"
"What do you mean?" she asked, trying to maintain the charade.
"I've known him all his life, and he loves you desperately," Legolas said. "I don't think you can see it."
"Of course I can," she said quickly. "I married him, didn't I?"
Nyére cleared her throat and gave Legolas a look. He just sighed and left the hall. Nyere glanced at Lyneya and smiled.
"Legolas talks a lot," she said.
"No one is fooled at all, are they?" Lyneya said.
"No," Nyére said. "But what is between you and Alcon is not our business. We just don't want to see him hurt."
"I don't want to hurt him," she said as she stood to leave.. "I owe him everything."
"All he wants from you is your love," Nyére said seriously. "He is your husband, Lyneya."
"I don't know what I feel…" Lyneya said softly. "When I was a child, I loved many people and lost them all, except Godwin. I never wanted to feel the pain of loss again so I stopped letting myself care. But in my heart there is a place that is lonely and empty. When I am with Alcon I do not feel lonely and my heart is full of joy. When he is near me I lose my breath, my heart races and my knees are weak. I do not know if this is love, I only know I feel this way with Alcon."
"You have just described love perfectly, Lyneya," Nyére said.
"I'm afraid," Lyneya said.
"So was I," Nyére said. "Polodrin frightened me, but when I finally admitted my feelings, my fears left. Just think about it."
Lyneya nodded and changed the subject. "I can't believe he gave me a gift."
"It is New Year, Lyneya. Gift giving is common," Nyére said. "Most gifts are given at the feast, but the gown was for you to wear so he gave it to you early."
"I never heard of this custom," Lyneya said. "I have nothing to give him."
"That can be mended," Nyére said with a smile. "Come with me to the Sword smith's. I am sure he has something you could give as a gift."
"I cannot pay him," Lyneya said. "I pay my own way."
"We are leaving here two days hence. Much of what we have will be left behind. Do not worry over money, Lyneya. Elves place little value on coins," Nyére said seriously. "Go get Godwin and we'll see what Neido has in his shop."
The broad, dark haired Elf stood in the corner watching as the human looked over his craftsmanship. She seemed impressed, but could not seem to make up her mind. He looked at Nyere questioningly.
"What is she looking for?" he asked.
"A gift for her new husband, Alcon," Nyére said.
Niedo looked back at Lyneya and frowned, "She doesn't want a sword, show her the daggers."
"I don't think a weapon is appropriate," Lyneya said seriously. "Thank you for letting me look, my lord, sword smith. Your work is the finest I've ever seen.. It is simply not what I'm looking for."
Neido bowed, "I did not know you spoke our tongue, lady. What gift would you give if you had a choice?"
"I do not know your customs," she said.
"Let me show you some other things," Neido said. "I do not just make blades." He showed her some of his silver work. There were intricate brooches, belts trimmed in silver, sheaths and bracelets. Lyneya was impressed. Some of the brooches had writing on them.
"I do not read your script, what does this one say?" she asked.
"Aratoamin," he said. "It means 'my champion."
Lyneya smiled, "That is the one."
Neido took the brooch and polished it for her. "A great compliment to your lord, my lady. I have a box for this." The Elf left and Nyére looked at Lyneya with a smile.
"He'll like it," she said.
"I hope so," Lyneya said. "Your sword smith is as kind as he is skilled."
He returned with a small wood box. It was carved into a scroll design and stained with a rich red stain. "Here," he said. "A worthy New Year's gift."
"I cannot pay you, sir."
"No need," he said.
Nyére thanked him and they left. Godwin, who'd been playing outside waiting joined them and looked at the box curiously.
"What's that?" he asked.
"It is for Alcon," Lyneya said.
"Oh," Godwin said. "Is it his birthday?"
"No," Nyére said. "It is New Year's Eve. Elves give gifts on New Year's Eve."
Godwin was thoughtful for a moment and then he smiled. "I should get him a gift too."
"Children do not give gifts," Nyére said with a smile. "Go and play, Godwin. The feast will be at sunset."
It was mid afternoon when Polodrin and the twins returned from the hunt. Their game was delivered to the cooks who were preparing the meal for the feast and Alcon went to clean up. He bathed and put on clean clothes, thankful for the freshly cleaned tunic and breeches hanging in the wardrobe. He combed out his long wet hair and braided it in the traditional Elvish style.
When he was satisfied with his appearance he went to the bed and found his second parcel where he'd hidden it. The small wood box looked so insignificant, but it held his heart. He opened it and looked at the delicate necklace. The pendant was the most delicate, feminine style he could find. Three silver strands weaved into a scrolled design with a single clear stone shining like a star from within them. It was symbolic of their new family, three single lives bonded into one. He closed the box and hid it in his tunic. He looked forward to the feast. It was for the New Year, but it would be special to him for a more personal reason. Lyneya never got her wedding feast. He was anxious to share the night with her.
The feast was a grand affair. The great hall was bright with music and dancing, and good food. It was not as full as in ages past. Only a little more than a hundred Elves and guests were there to enjoy the celebration, but their joy was still substantial.
Thelyn and Jamie watched with fascination as the Avari danced. Thelyn, ever the bold one, asked Jamie to dance with him. He didn't' know the steps, but he didn't care. The couple went out onto the floor and tried to follow the music. Legolas laughed and Nyére just looked at Polodrin.
"Shall we show them how it is done?" she asked.
"Speak for yourself, my lady. I'm a Ranger with two left feet," he said seriously.
"I'll never believe it," she said with a smirk, "Come on, it is tradition."
Polodrin dragged his feet, but after a few minutes, he found he enjoyed it.
The music and dancing continued into the late evening and Godwin fell asleep at the table. Alcon and Lyneya smiled at the sight of the usually active boy dozing in his chair. Alcon lifted him carefully into his arms and they left the hall to put him to bed. Lyneya walked close to Alcon and put her hand in the crook of his arm. When they reached Godwin's room, Alcon gently laid him on the bed and removed his boots. He tucked the boy in and stood up, and Lyneya kissed his forehead.
"Goodnight, kid," she whispered, "Happy New Year."
Alcon put an arm around her shoulders and led her to the hallway. He closed the door and looked at his wife.
"We cannot leave him here alone," he said.
"That's alright," she said. "The feast was great, but a little loud for my taste."
"I can hear the music from here," Alcon admitted, then looked at her with a mischievous smile. "Dance with me."
"But this isn't dance music, it is too slow," she said.
"There are other dances than those you saw," he said. "Please, dance with your husband on New Year."
Lyneya took his hand and he drew her close, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Put your other hand on my shoulder," he said.
Lyneya obeyed and they swayed to the music, stepping slowly and fluidly around the hallway. Alcon drew her up against him and she rested her head against his chest. He gave up on steps and just swayed with her, slowly turning a circle as the music played. By the time the music died down, they were no longer dancing, but were simply standing in the middle of the hall in a warm embrace.
"That is a dance?" she asked softly.
"Yes," he said. "Happy New Year."
Lyneya suddenly remembered her gift. "Alcon?"
"Yes, love?" he asked softly.
Lyneya didn't notice his endearment; she was too excited about her gift. She stepped back and looked at him with a smile. She took his hand and backed up heading for their room. "Come on, I have something for you." She practically dragged him the few steps it took to get to the room.
Alcon was curious and just closed the door and looked at her with a cocked brow. Lyneya ran to the wardrobe and then turned around with a small box.
"Here," she said, "Happy New Year."
Alcon looked at the small box and ran his fingers over the carving. It was very nice and he was suddenly nervous about what was inside. He opened it and smiled. A brooch… and a very fine one. He took it out and admired the engraving. Then he noticed the script.
"Aratoamin," he said softly.
Lyneya smiled, "Yes, you are my champion."
"Oh, Lyneya, it is a great gift," he said sincerely. "And I have one for you."
Lyneya smiled, "Yes, the dress, it is the finest I've ever…"
"No," he said, taking the box from his tunic, "The gown you needed. I will see to it that your wardrobe is complete in time. This is the gift I spoke of."
Lyneya timidly took the box and stared at it. She was afraid to open it. The box was pretty and she was just so stunned by his kindness and generosity.
"Open it, Lyneya, I am anxious to see your face when you see it," he said.
She slowly lifted the lid and her eyes doubled in size. She'd never seen anything so beautiful. "It is too fine," she said. "Surely it was made for a great lady."
"Yes, it was made for you, Lyneya," Alcon said, taking it out to put it on her. "Why do gifts move you so? Have you never received gifts before?"
"Once, when an Elf saved my life by a river," she said looking up into his eyes.
"Lyneya, can you ever love me?" Alcon asked huskily.
Lyneya's eyes filled with tears and she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. "I already love you," she said as she rested her head against his chest.
Alcon wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He was overwhelmed by joy at her words. He had thought it would take forever to win her heart, but she loved him. He had no idea what he would do this night. He didn't want to rush her, but he wanted more than this hug.
"Woman, you have made me very happy," he said. "I have loved you from the beginning, and it has been a very long week for me."
"I am sorry," she said.
"No apology is needed," Alcon said. "I tricked you into marrying me. I admit my deception. My motives were more than protection. It was not purely for Godwin's sake, but for my own. I did not want to let you go."
"Yet you kept your promise," she said.
"I will keep it still if you need more time," he said. "I want you to come to me when you are ready and not before."
"I'm… afraid," she said softly.
Alcon bent down and kissed the top of her head, then released her. "You need never fear again," he said. "You are my wife, in my care. No one will ever hurt you again."
Lyneya nodded, but that wasn't what she'd meant. She was afraid of fully surrendering herself to him. She trusted him, and she loved him, but she'd always been told that men hurt women. She'd even seen it, and heard the screams. The thought of intimacy frightened her. But Nyére had told her to face the fear, so she would leave it up to him.
"What is your wish?" Lyneya asked.
"I want us to be married for love, not convenience," Alcon asked.
"I love you, Alcon," she said.
"And I love you, but I see fear in your eyes," he said. "Do you release me from my promise?" he asked.
"I… yes," she said softly. "I am your wife, and you are my husband."
"Only for love, Lyneya," he said. "Not for gratitude, or duty or pity."
"It is for love," she said. "I am yours, Alcon."
Alcon stepped closer to her and gently took her face in his hands and kissed her. He could see that despite her love, she was afraid. He moved very slowly and kept his touch feather soft. He treated her as a new horse, gentling her with his patience and love. She trembled in his arms and he broke their kiss and looked into her eyes.
"Let us rest," he said. "I would be pleased if you would but sleep a little closer."
"But, I am giving myself to you," she said.
"And I can see that you are still not ready for that," he said. "I am a patient husband. When I touch you and you tremble from joy and not fear, then I will accept the gift of your body."
Lyneya searched his eyes. "You are not angry?"
"Lyneya, I love you," he said seriously. "I care more for your happiness than my own desire."
Lyneya kissed his cheek, "I do not even know what it is I fear."
"It is not important," he said. "Dress for bed."
Alcon left her a little privacy and once again went to bed wearing his breeches. He forced himself not to look, especially now. When she came to bed, he drew back the blanket for her and waited to see what she would do. She lay beside him, only inches away and he covered her with the blanket and drew her small body up against his and wrapped her in his arms.
"Here is where you will sleep," he said, "In my arms."
She smiled, "I hoped you would say that."
Alcon kissed her tenderly and then lay back and closed his eyes. "Sleep now, fair wife."
"Goodnight, husband."