Title: Our Lullaby
Author: Marie J.W.
Chapter: CHAPTER THREE
Rated: PG
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary:
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even
know her own mother.
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.
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"Aunt ReCinny?" This time the question came from Darien. The girl
had obviously startled him for his eyes were wide and his expression
confused. He looked down at me with a question in his eyes.
I swallowed, "Uh…"
I turned to see Rini climbing up the hay loft towards us. Great, great,
great, this is NOT what I need right now. She was supposed to be in bed,
not here! Now what is Darien going to say? Will he find out? Will he guess?
I can't let him! I've come this far.
Rini made it and kneeled down beside us, "Who is he, Aunt ReCinny, and
why are you in that dress?"
I struggled to say something, anything to solve this problem. Darien let
go of one of my wrists but still held the other one tight. He held out his
other hand to Rini and addressed her, "My name is Darien, what's yours?"
Rini smiled and shook Darien's hand, "Rini… Rini Starant," she then
looked at me, "Why are you wearing that dress? You don't go to parties."
She looked confused and curious at the same time.
I sighed and refused to answer her question, "Aren't you supposed to be
in your room?"
She frowned, "So, I can be up! It's not fair that the others are up and
I have to stay in bed. Grown-up's always get to have fun!"
I frowned back, "Lady Rini, you know what your mother said-"
"So what! She doesn't care."
"Rini!" I snapped, "Go back to bed and mind your mother."
Rini stuck up her chin and ignored me, turning to Darien. I glared at
her, promising her a death sentence. How dare she be so insulting! She then
put puppy dog eyes on Darien, "How come you wanted to talk to Aunt ReCinny?
Do you know her? Did you make her cry?" Suddenly her eyes turned one shade
darker.
Darien smiled softly and leaned towards her, "Sere-Your Aunt ReCinny and
I are friends. We just needed to get reacquainted. And... did I make her
cry?" He glanced at me and I turned away, refusing to let him out of this
one, "Yes, I probably did."
"You shouldn't have made her cry, Aunt ReCinny never cries," Rini
placed her fists on her waist, giving Darien the evil eye.
I was pleased to find Darien looking somewhat grieved since he chased
me around everywhere and had the gall to show up after all these years.
If he hadn't come none of this would be happening.
"She never cries?" Darien asked, somewhat surprised.
"No, she always has a stern face and she doesn't cry and she never looks sad."
I could tell Darien was getting even more confused and frustrated.
I about had enough.
"Rini, that's enough. Please go back to your room. You're mother
might check up on you."
"She never does. She's too busy dancing."
I pulled my other hand out of Darien's grip and glared at Rini, "You are such
a disagreeable little girl. It's about time you started thinking of
others instead of yourself. When your mother tells you to go to bed, you
had better do it Rini. If you want to grow up to be a Lady you have to
be respectful and mind your elders. I thought you knew better. Now, go to
bed."
Rini lifted her chin for only a moment before lowering it back down
again and biting her lip. I could tell I had hurt her feelings again but
I didn't know how else to get to her. She sighed, "Yes, Aunt ReCinny,"
She lifted her head again and nodded her head towards Darien, "Good night,
sir."
We watched her slide back down the hay stack and walk slowly back to
the house. I bit my lip. It always hurt me to see her like that. She was
such a willful girl.
"She's sweet," Darien said.
"Yes…" I smiled sadly then remembered where we were. I coughed lightly, "Well,
I better go inside too. It's past my bedtime. It was nice seeing you
again Darien." I tried to get up but he put a hand on my shoulder and pushed
me back down.
"We're not done yet, Sere, I have a few questions."
I sighed and felt like rolling myself into a ball, "Not right now. I can't
tell you everything."
"Fine, just one question… for now."
"What?"
"You know as well as I that Ellen can't have children. How in the
world does she have a daughter?"
"She just does! The doctors were mistaken!" I said a little too
forcefully, I shook my head, "I… she just does… just take it as it is,
please?"
He looked suspicious but nodded, "I… don't believe you Sere, but…
I'll leave it at that for now."
I sighed, very grateful, "Can I go now? I'm tired."
He nodded, "But I want to talk to you tomorrow."
Groaning, I nodded, "Alright." Hopefully, I'll think of something
and things will be back to normal tomorrow.
"Good. Do you want me to walk you to your room?"
"No, I'll be fine… thanks," I stood up and slid off the hayloft. Then I made
my way back to the house. I could tell Darien was watching me, probably
trying to figure me out. I entered the house and shut the door behind me.
I leaned against it for a moment and sighed. This day was a nightmare as well
as a blessing. I only hope Rini doesn't figure it out before Darien.
-----
Dressed in my black silk dress, black shoes, and with my hair pinned up
in a tight bun, I looked at myself in the mirror. I no longer saw the girl
that existed last night. I was now back to the stone woman that I had been
for the last four years.
Leaving my room, I shut the door and smoothed down my skirt. I looked
down the hallway to find Rini leaning over the banister in a blue ruffled
dress and a blue ribbon in her curly hair. She seemed interested in
something going on down below.
"Aren't you going to eat breakfast, Lady Rini?" I asked as I
approached her.
"Look, it's that man from last night," She pointed.
I looked down and felt my heart drop. Darien was below talking quietly but
quite animatedly with my sister Ellen. Neither one looked very happy. I
sighed and closed my eyes, trying to gather my wits.
Opening my eyes, I lifted my head, "Alright Rini, that's enough.
Let's go down and eat breakfast. You have lots of studies to do today."
Sighing loudly, she nodded, "I bet Mother doesn't like Darien…
I think Darien is a nice man. Why would Mother be mad at him? Do you
think he made her cry too?"
I listened to her chatter as we descended the stairs. We made it to
the bottom and that is when Ellen and Darien noticed us. They
immediately stopped talking and turned to us. Ellen had a frown on her
face while Darien's expression related to shock or surprise. It wasn't
until we got closer that I realized he was looking at my dress and hair.
Oh. I felt kind of embarrassed. He wasn't used to seeing me like this.
"Morning Ellen, Darien," I nodded towards them, "I didn't expect you
to be here this early, Mr. Chiba."
He frowned at me, "I thought I would get an early start," He was
still looking at my appearance. I frowned back at him. He noticed and
brought his eyes back to my face.
Ellen shifted on her feet with impatience, "So, you're the one that
invited Mr. Chiba back?"
"He insisted," I looked strait at Darien as I said this before turning
a not-so-sweet smile on my sister, "Is breakfast ready?"
"I'm sure it is…"
I nodded and we all entered the dinning room. Rini waved at Darien who
smiled back. John was already seated at the head of the table with a
newspaper in his lap.
"Are you finally done arguing, Ellen?" He never took his eyes off
the newspaper.
Ellen glared at her husband as she seated, "We shall see," she glanced
at Darien who was seating himself on the other side of John.
I sat next to Ellen and Rini took a seat next to Darien. She was
obviously already attached to him. A part of me was thrilled with the
idea while the other part only brought apprehension.
Breakfast was quiet except for Rini asking questions of Darien ever
so often. She asked him if he liked horses, if he ever played chess and
if he was married. Darien replied to all her questions with a yes and a
smile, except for the last question which he answered with a no and a
frown.
---
After breakfast, I found myself sitting in the parlor-room with Darien
standing across the room on the opposite end. I listened to the clock tick
and the tree branches next to the window tap the pane every few seconds.
I took a deep breath of air and then let it out slowly.
"Why are you dressed like that?"
I blinked and looked up at Darien. THAT was his first question? I
clenched my teeth, "That is my business, not yours."
"Fine," he began pacing the room, "Will you come with me?"
"No."
"Why?" He stopped to look at me.
"I… I like it here. I have family here."
"Oh? What about your father?"
I swallowed and lowered my head so he wouldn't see the longing in them,
"I will… write him."
"I don't believe you. You know as well as I that he will come here and
try to bring you home."
"Please, Darien," I looked up at him, "You don't understand. There
are certain things tying me here."
He looked at me, trying to figure me out; I could tell he was examining
me. Finally he looked away, "Is it a man?"
"Huh?"
"Are you engaged? Are you seeing someone?" He bit out the questions harshly.
"No! No, of course not! I… no, look at me Darien, why would any man in
his right mind want to marry me like this, let alone court me?"
He lifted an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly, "Are you saying
you dress like that to discourage men?"
I didn't answer.
"Why in the world would you do that?"
I couldn't tell him all my reasons, although that was one of them.
I couldn't let another man get close to me; it would only make
things complicated.
He sighed loudly, "Okay, okay… let's go over a few things, shall we?
First, I'm not leaving without you. Second, you're not happy here. No,
don't deny it; I can see it in your eyes. And third, I know you love your
father but hate your sister. Now, what is wrong with this picture?"
Biting my lip, I stood up and began to pace. I had to think of something
to stop him, to make him go back.
"You won't come up with anything, Serenity. I know you too well. I
know you don't want to be here, I know you want to see your father and I
know that you will come home with me."
"You're too sure of yourself, Darien."
"Am I?"
I opened my mouth to object but I realized I couldn't. He was right.
I wanted all those things. I wanted to go back home and stop living this
life.
What about Rini? I couldn't leave without her? Would she want this?
And then it hit me and I felt like I wanted to die.
I looked out the window to find Rini, the very person of my
thoughts, sitting outside, out in the wind, on a bench, shoving her feet
into the dirt. Her back was facing me but I knew by the slouch in her
shoulders and the hard digging of her feet that she wasn't happy today.
In fact, now that I thought about it, she was never really happy. She was
always so serious, demanding, complaining, frowning, crying, being
disagreeable and being disrespectful. The only thing I could truly think
of that made her the least bit happy was her horse Ally.
I wiped away the tears that had fallen and looked away from the
window. Here, all this time, I had wanted to make her happy, give her
a real family, a whole family and Ellen and John had not fulfilled that
hole in her heart.
Was I such a terrible mother to let her go so easily? She was happy
once with me, laughing all the time and discovering new things with
such interest. And then… when I let her go, she just stopped being so
happy. What went wrong? What changed so much?
"Darien, I'll be back, don't move! Please, I'll be right back!"
I ran out of the room and out the front door without even grabbing a cloak.
I found the bench she was sitting on and quickly walked over to her. I wiped
the stray tears from my eyes and carefully sat down next to her. She glanced
my way but didn't say anything.
I sighed, "Rini?"
"Yeah?"
"It's 'yes' not 'yeah'," then kicking myself for correcting her I
quickly added, "Are you happy?"
Her head whipped up and her eyes looked a bit startled.
"Hmm?"
Tears seemed to fill her eyes before she quickly looked back down
at the dirt.
My heart broke. She was unhappy.
"Rini? Why not?"
She sniffed, "You wouldn't understand. You don't like me very much."
I stiffened, "What? Rini, I lov- you're my favorite niece, of course I
like you. It's just… I want you to be a good girl and- Please, Rini, tell me.
I promise to listen."
Rini let out a shuddered breath of air before answering, "No one
ikes me, I don't have any friends, mother just complains and then tells
me I'm an angel at the end of the day, she doesn't give me rules or… um…
she tells me what to do but then she doesn't do anything about it, she
just-" She broke off crying, "No body cares weather I'm good or bad except
you and you don't like me very much."
"I'm sorry-"
"And then Mother got mad at me for liking Darien… that friend of yours.
She says he is a bad man and that I shouldn't talk to him. Father told me I
was being disrespectful to my mother when all I was trying to tell her was
that I liked him anyway. He told me to go to my room," Her head snapped up,
"Oh, please Aunt ReCinny! Don't send me to my room! And don't tell Father!"
I looked away from her as tears fell down my face. I was an awful
mother. John and Ellen knew nothing about raising a daughter and I, the
only person that did, acted like an unfeeling Aunt that only told her what
she looked like socially. No wonder she rebelled so much. She wasn't
being treated like a person, like a loved daughter… I was a terrible
mother.
"Aunt ReCinny? Are you crying?"
I took a deep breath and once again wiped the tears from my cheeks,
"I'm fine, Rini. I'm sorry you're not happy," I turned and looked down
at her, "I'm so sorry and it's entirely my fault. I've been a terrible
Aunt, you deserve so much more."
And then she hugged me. A choked sob escape me, one that I couldn't
hold back. She hadn't hugged me in years! I slowly wrapped my arms around
her and began rocking her back and forth, "I'm so sorry, Rini, I'm so
sorry. I'll make it better, I promise."
Rini hugged me tighter and I felt like crying harder but I knew if
I did that she would only ask more questions that I knew I couldn't answer.
I didn't want to leave her but I had to talk to Darien. I slowly and
carefully unwound her arms from around me and for the first time I
smiled sincerely, "Thank you, Rini."
Her eyes were also teary, "You're welcome… I think," she looked
adorably confused, "How are you going to make it better?"
"I just am. Things might be different. And… you might not like it all
but it will be good for the both of us, I hope."
When the confusion in her eyes didn't leave, I sighed, "Just trust
me, okay?"
She nodded and I continued, "I need to go talk to my friend. Okay?"
She nodded again.
"Don't stay out here too long. You don't want to catch cold."
With that I stood up, wiped the tears from my eyes and walked inside.
I found Darien standing at the window. Had he been watching us? I walked in,
and cleared my throat.
"You're attached to her, aren't you? Is that what's stopping you?"
"Yes."
"Are you coming?"
"Yes."
"What?" He spun around and looked at me with surprise on his face.
I smiled, "I'm going home… but not without Rini."
His brow scrunched up, "But… Rini is Ellen's daughter. I don't think
she will let her go."
"She has to," I nodded my head, "When do you want to leave?"
"Uh…" he seemed to have to gather his thoughts, "The day after tomorrow.
I have some things to tie up here first."
"We'll be ready."
---
That night, I entered Ellen's room. John was out playing cards with
some business men. Ellen sat at her vanity, pulling pins out of her soft
blonde hair. I sat down at the end of her bed, on her hope chest.
"If I knew that Mr. Chiba would be coming to the party the other night
I would have insisted that John dis-invited him. He had no right coming
here this morning. I thought you hated that man."
"I don't hate him. I hate myself. Ellen, I'm going with Darien. I'm
going home."
She stopped and turned around, "Are you serious? You would leave me?"
"I have to, Ellen; it's been far too long. They didn't even know if I was
alive or not. I have to go home. I want to be me again, Ellen. I want to
see Father and I want to live a normal life. I don't want to be the stern
Aunt anymore."
She rolled her eyes, "You want to go back and see that old man. He
was hardly interesting. But I guess he always liked you more. So… go, go
back home, I'll just raise Rini on my own."
I took a deep breath, "Ellen, I'm taking Rini with me."
Her eyes went wide, "WHAT?!"
"I'm taking her with me. She is my daughter, Ellen, not yours."
"Of course she's mine! You gave her to me!"
"Just until I could figure out what to do! I was lost and alone.
I was a young single mother, Ellen! You have to let me take her."
"I will not," She stood up away from her vanity and started pacing
the room, "She is my daughter now, you gave her up."
"I did NOT give her up! You know that. I told you that I needed you to
take care of her until I knew what to do. I know what to do now, Ellen. She
is going back to live with her Grandfather. She needs family and at home
there are children her age. Here there are only elders and older teenagers."
"So, you will just take her and go with that stupid ass, Darien Chiba,
the one that got you in this mess in the first place!"
I felt like slapping her, "You don't know what you're talking
about, Ellen."
"I do too! Remember, I was there when you came crying to me, asking
for help. You told me the whole story!"
"Then you weren't listening! Because I also told you that it wasn't
his entire fault. It was mine, too Ellen, mine too! I love him and I will
not let him ruin his reputation and the respect he has earned."
"And what about you?" She sneered, "If you take Rini, they will
wonder whose child she is, what are you going to tell them?"
"I don't know yet but if I have to I will tell the truth. I definitely
plan on telling Father, he at least deserves that."
"What? Are you serious? He will disown you!"
"Then so be it! But I am taking Rini and living away from this hell hole,
do you understand? There is nothing you can do about it, Ellen. I know you
want to keep Rini because she is the only daughter you can ever have, but
you must settle for being her Aunt as I have."
"I will not! What will society say when MY daughter goes missing?"
"Tell them the truth, Ellen!" I yelled.
Her face went ashen.
"I'm sorry, Ellen. But you have to understand, Rini isn't happy here. She's
not happy and she hasn't been truly been happy in a long time."
"She's happy! Of course, she's happy! She has me for a mother! I give
her everything she could ever want! I give her pretty clothes, dolls, toys,
a large pink canopy bed, and a horse! She has everything she could ever
want here!"
"Did it ever occur to you that that's not what she needs? I told you not
to buy her all that. I knew that it wouldn't satisfy her."
"Oh, that's right. Mother gave you everything you needed. But you know
what; our mother never gave anything real to me or to you!"
I felt my lower lip quiver, "I swear, if you speak of Mother like
that again, so help me I will let this temper go. She suffered everything!
So, don't go disgracing her name!"
Silence issued.
We stared each other down, neither of us moving but both of us breathing
hard.
"I will never let her go!"
I straitened up and smoothed down my skirt, "We shall see about that.
I will take her the day after tomorrow. You better get your act together
by then."
"She won't be there."
-------
To Be Continued…
Author: Marie J.W.
Chapter: CHAPTER THREE
Rated: PG
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan
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Summary:
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even
know her own mother.
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.
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"Aunt ReCinny?" This time the question came from Darien. The girl
had obviously startled him for his eyes were wide and his expression
confused. He looked down at me with a question in his eyes.
I swallowed, "Uh…"
I turned to see Rini climbing up the hay loft towards us. Great, great,
great, this is NOT what I need right now. She was supposed to be in bed,
not here! Now what is Darien going to say? Will he find out? Will he guess?
I can't let him! I've come this far.
Rini made it and kneeled down beside us, "Who is he, Aunt ReCinny, and
why are you in that dress?"
I struggled to say something, anything to solve this problem. Darien let
go of one of my wrists but still held the other one tight. He held out his
other hand to Rini and addressed her, "My name is Darien, what's yours?"
Rini smiled and shook Darien's hand, "Rini… Rini Starant," she then
looked at me, "Why are you wearing that dress? You don't go to parties."
She looked confused and curious at the same time.
I sighed and refused to answer her question, "Aren't you supposed to be
in your room?"
She frowned, "So, I can be up! It's not fair that the others are up and
I have to stay in bed. Grown-up's always get to have fun!"
I frowned back, "Lady Rini, you know what your mother said-"
"So what! She doesn't care."
"Rini!" I snapped, "Go back to bed and mind your mother."
Rini stuck up her chin and ignored me, turning to Darien. I glared at
her, promising her a death sentence. How dare she be so insulting! She then
put puppy dog eyes on Darien, "How come you wanted to talk to Aunt ReCinny?
Do you know her? Did you make her cry?" Suddenly her eyes turned one shade
darker.
Darien smiled softly and leaned towards her, "Sere-Your Aunt ReCinny and
I are friends. We just needed to get reacquainted. And... did I make her
cry?" He glanced at me and I turned away, refusing to let him out of this
one, "Yes, I probably did."
"You shouldn't have made her cry, Aunt ReCinny never cries," Rini
placed her fists on her waist, giving Darien the evil eye.
I was pleased to find Darien looking somewhat grieved since he chased
me around everywhere and had the gall to show up after all these years.
If he hadn't come none of this would be happening.
"She never cries?" Darien asked, somewhat surprised.
"No, she always has a stern face and she doesn't cry and she never looks sad."
I could tell Darien was getting even more confused and frustrated.
I about had enough.
"Rini, that's enough. Please go back to your room. You're mother
might check up on you."
"She never does. She's too busy dancing."
I pulled my other hand out of Darien's grip and glared at Rini, "You are such
a disagreeable little girl. It's about time you started thinking of
others instead of yourself. When your mother tells you to go to bed, you
had better do it Rini. If you want to grow up to be a Lady you have to
be respectful and mind your elders. I thought you knew better. Now, go to
bed."
Rini lifted her chin for only a moment before lowering it back down
again and biting her lip. I could tell I had hurt her feelings again but
I didn't know how else to get to her. She sighed, "Yes, Aunt ReCinny,"
She lifted her head again and nodded her head towards Darien, "Good night,
sir."
We watched her slide back down the hay stack and walk slowly back to
the house. I bit my lip. It always hurt me to see her like that. She was
such a willful girl.
"She's sweet," Darien said.
"Yes…" I smiled sadly then remembered where we were. I coughed lightly, "Well,
I better go inside too. It's past my bedtime. It was nice seeing you
again Darien." I tried to get up but he put a hand on my shoulder and pushed
me back down.
"We're not done yet, Sere, I have a few questions."
I sighed and felt like rolling myself into a ball, "Not right now. I can't
tell you everything."
"Fine, just one question… for now."
"What?"
"You know as well as I that Ellen can't have children. How in the
world does she have a daughter?"
"She just does! The doctors were mistaken!" I said a little too
forcefully, I shook my head, "I… she just does… just take it as it is,
please?"
He looked suspicious but nodded, "I… don't believe you Sere, but…
I'll leave it at that for now."
I sighed, very grateful, "Can I go now? I'm tired."
He nodded, "But I want to talk to you tomorrow."
Groaning, I nodded, "Alright." Hopefully, I'll think of something
and things will be back to normal tomorrow.
"Good. Do you want me to walk you to your room?"
"No, I'll be fine… thanks," I stood up and slid off the hayloft. Then I made
my way back to the house. I could tell Darien was watching me, probably
trying to figure me out. I entered the house and shut the door behind me.
I leaned against it for a moment and sighed. This day was a nightmare as well
as a blessing. I only hope Rini doesn't figure it out before Darien.
-----
Dressed in my black silk dress, black shoes, and with my hair pinned up
in a tight bun, I looked at myself in the mirror. I no longer saw the girl
that existed last night. I was now back to the stone woman that I had been
for the last four years.
Leaving my room, I shut the door and smoothed down my skirt. I looked
down the hallway to find Rini leaning over the banister in a blue ruffled
dress and a blue ribbon in her curly hair. She seemed interested in
something going on down below.
"Aren't you going to eat breakfast, Lady Rini?" I asked as I
approached her.
"Look, it's that man from last night," She pointed.
I looked down and felt my heart drop. Darien was below talking quietly but
quite animatedly with my sister Ellen. Neither one looked very happy. I
sighed and closed my eyes, trying to gather my wits.
Opening my eyes, I lifted my head, "Alright Rini, that's enough.
Let's go down and eat breakfast. You have lots of studies to do today."
Sighing loudly, she nodded, "I bet Mother doesn't like Darien…
I think Darien is a nice man. Why would Mother be mad at him? Do you
think he made her cry too?"
I listened to her chatter as we descended the stairs. We made it to
the bottom and that is when Ellen and Darien noticed us. They
immediately stopped talking and turned to us. Ellen had a frown on her
face while Darien's expression related to shock or surprise. It wasn't
until we got closer that I realized he was looking at my dress and hair.
Oh. I felt kind of embarrassed. He wasn't used to seeing me like this.
"Morning Ellen, Darien," I nodded towards them, "I didn't expect you
to be here this early, Mr. Chiba."
He frowned at me, "I thought I would get an early start," He was
still looking at my appearance. I frowned back at him. He noticed and
brought his eyes back to my face.
Ellen shifted on her feet with impatience, "So, you're the one that
invited Mr. Chiba back?"
"He insisted," I looked strait at Darien as I said this before turning
a not-so-sweet smile on my sister, "Is breakfast ready?"
"I'm sure it is…"
I nodded and we all entered the dinning room. Rini waved at Darien who
smiled back. John was already seated at the head of the table with a
newspaper in his lap.
"Are you finally done arguing, Ellen?" He never took his eyes off
the newspaper.
Ellen glared at her husband as she seated, "We shall see," she glanced
at Darien who was seating himself on the other side of John.
I sat next to Ellen and Rini took a seat next to Darien. She was
obviously already attached to him. A part of me was thrilled with the
idea while the other part only brought apprehension.
Breakfast was quiet except for Rini asking questions of Darien ever
so often. She asked him if he liked horses, if he ever played chess and
if he was married. Darien replied to all her questions with a yes and a
smile, except for the last question which he answered with a no and a
frown.
---
After breakfast, I found myself sitting in the parlor-room with Darien
standing across the room on the opposite end. I listened to the clock tick
and the tree branches next to the window tap the pane every few seconds.
I took a deep breath of air and then let it out slowly.
"Why are you dressed like that?"
I blinked and looked up at Darien. THAT was his first question? I
clenched my teeth, "That is my business, not yours."
"Fine," he began pacing the room, "Will you come with me?"
"No."
"Why?" He stopped to look at me.
"I… I like it here. I have family here."
"Oh? What about your father?"
I swallowed and lowered my head so he wouldn't see the longing in them,
"I will… write him."
"I don't believe you. You know as well as I that he will come here and
try to bring you home."
"Please, Darien," I looked up at him, "You don't understand. There
are certain things tying me here."
He looked at me, trying to figure me out; I could tell he was examining
me. Finally he looked away, "Is it a man?"
"Huh?"
"Are you engaged? Are you seeing someone?" He bit out the questions harshly.
"No! No, of course not! I… no, look at me Darien, why would any man in
his right mind want to marry me like this, let alone court me?"
He lifted an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly, "Are you saying
you dress like that to discourage men?"
I didn't answer.
"Why in the world would you do that?"
I couldn't tell him all my reasons, although that was one of them.
I couldn't let another man get close to me; it would only make
things complicated.
He sighed loudly, "Okay, okay… let's go over a few things, shall we?
First, I'm not leaving without you. Second, you're not happy here. No,
don't deny it; I can see it in your eyes. And third, I know you love your
father but hate your sister. Now, what is wrong with this picture?"
Biting my lip, I stood up and began to pace. I had to think of something
to stop him, to make him go back.
"You won't come up with anything, Serenity. I know you too well. I
know you don't want to be here, I know you want to see your father and I
know that you will come home with me."
"You're too sure of yourself, Darien."
"Am I?"
I opened my mouth to object but I realized I couldn't. He was right.
I wanted all those things. I wanted to go back home and stop living this
life.
What about Rini? I couldn't leave without her? Would she want this?
And then it hit me and I felt like I wanted to die.
I looked out the window to find Rini, the very person of my
thoughts, sitting outside, out in the wind, on a bench, shoving her feet
into the dirt. Her back was facing me but I knew by the slouch in her
shoulders and the hard digging of her feet that she wasn't happy today.
In fact, now that I thought about it, she was never really happy. She was
always so serious, demanding, complaining, frowning, crying, being
disagreeable and being disrespectful. The only thing I could truly think
of that made her the least bit happy was her horse Ally.
I wiped away the tears that had fallen and looked away from the
window. Here, all this time, I had wanted to make her happy, give her
a real family, a whole family and Ellen and John had not fulfilled that
hole in her heart.
Was I such a terrible mother to let her go so easily? She was happy
once with me, laughing all the time and discovering new things with
such interest. And then… when I let her go, she just stopped being so
happy. What went wrong? What changed so much?
"Darien, I'll be back, don't move! Please, I'll be right back!"
I ran out of the room and out the front door without even grabbing a cloak.
I found the bench she was sitting on and quickly walked over to her. I wiped
the stray tears from my eyes and carefully sat down next to her. She glanced
my way but didn't say anything.
I sighed, "Rini?"
"Yeah?"
"It's 'yes' not 'yeah'," then kicking myself for correcting her I
quickly added, "Are you happy?"
Her head whipped up and her eyes looked a bit startled.
"Hmm?"
Tears seemed to fill her eyes before she quickly looked back down
at the dirt.
My heart broke. She was unhappy.
"Rini? Why not?"
She sniffed, "You wouldn't understand. You don't like me very much."
I stiffened, "What? Rini, I lov- you're my favorite niece, of course I
like you. It's just… I want you to be a good girl and- Please, Rini, tell me.
I promise to listen."
Rini let out a shuddered breath of air before answering, "No one
ikes me, I don't have any friends, mother just complains and then tells
me I'm an angel at the end of the day, she doesn't give me rules or… um…
she tells me what to do but then she doesn't do anything about it, she
just-" She broke off crying, "No body cares weather I'm good or bad except
you and you don't like me very much."
"I'm sorry-"
"And then Mother got mad at me for liking Darien… that friend of yours.
She says he is a bad man and that I shouldn't talk to him. Father told me I
was being disrespectful to my mother when all I was trying to tell her was
that I liked him anyway. He told me to go to my room," Her head snapped up,
"Oh, please Aunt ReCinny! Don't send me to my room! And don't tell Father!"
I looked away from her as tears fell down my face. I was an awful
mother. John and Ellen knew nothing about raising a daughter and I, the
only person that did, acted like an unfeeling Aunt that only told her what
she looked like socially. No wonder she rebelled so much. She wasn't
being treated like a person, like a loved daughter… I was a terrible
mother.
"Aunt ReCinny? Are you crying?"
I took a deep breath and once again wiped the tears from my cheeks,
"I'm fine, Rini. I'm sorry you're not happy," I turned and looked down
at her, "I'm so sorry and it's entirely my fault. I've been a terrible
Aunt, you deserve so much more."
And then she hugged me. A choked sob escape me, one that I couldn't
hold back. She hadn't hugged me in years! I slowly wrapped my arms around
her and began rocking her back and forth, "I'm so sorry, Rini, I'm so
sorry. I'll make it better, I promise."
Rini hugged me tighter and I felt like crying harder but I knew if
I did that she would only ask more questions that I knew I couldn't answer.
I didn't want to leave her but I had to talk to Darien. I slowly and
carefully unwound her arms from around me and for the first time I
smiled sincerely, "Thank you, Rini."
Her eyes were also teary, "You're welcome… I think," she looked
adorably confused, "How are you going to make it better?"
"I just am. Things might be different. And… you might not like it all
but it will be good for the both of us, I hope."
When the confusion in her eyes didn't leave, I sighed, "Just trust
me, okay?"
She nodded and I continued, "I need to go talk to my friend. Okay?"
She nodded again.
"Don't stay out here too long. You don't want to catch cold."
With that I stood up, wiped the tears from my eyes and walked inside.
I found Darien standing at the window. Had he been watching us? I walked in,
and cleared my throat.
"You're attached to her, aren't you? Is that what's stopping you?"
"Yes."
"Are you coming?"
"Yes."
"What?" He spun around and looked at me with surprise on his face.
I smiled, "I'm going home… but not without Rini."
His brow scrunched up, "But… Rini is Ellen's daughter. I don't think
she will let her go."
"She has to," I nodded my head, "When do you want to leave?"
"Uh…" he seemed to have to gather his thoughts, "The day after tomorrow.
I have some things to tie up here first."
"We'll be ready."
---
That night, I entered Ellen's room. John was out playing cards with
some business men. Ellen sat at her vanity, pulling pins out of her soft
blonde hair. I sat down at the end of her bed, on her hope chest.
"If I knew that Mr. Chiba would be coming to the party the other night
I would have insisted that John dis-invited him. He had no right coming
here this morning. I thought you hated that man."
"I don't hate him. I hate myself. Ellen, I'm going with Darien. I'm
going home."
She stopped and turned around, "Are you serious? You would leave me?"
"I have to, Ellen; it's been far too long. They didn't even know if I was
alive or not. I have to go home. I want to be me again, Ellen. I want to
see Father and I want to live a normal life. I don't want to be the stern
Aunt anymore."
She rolled her eyes, "You want to go back and see that old man. He
was hardly interesting. But I guess he always liked you more. So… go, go
back home, I'll just raise Rini on my own."
I took a deep breath, "Ellen, I'm taking Rini with me."
Her eyes went wide, "WHAT?!"
"I'm taking her with me. She is my daughter, Ellen, not yours."
"Of course she's mine! You gave her to me!"
"Just until I could figure out what to do! I was lost and alone.
I was a young single mother, Ellen! You have to let me take her."
"I will not," She stood up away from her vanity and started pacing
the room, "She is my daughter now, you gave her up."
"I did NOT give her up! You know that. I told you that I needed you to
take care of her until I knew what to do. I know what to do now, Ellen. She
is going back to live with her Grandfather. She needs family and at home
there are children her age. Here there are only elders and older teenagers."
"So, you will just take her and go with that stupid ass, Darien Chiba,
the one that got you in this mess in the first place!"
I felt like slapping her, "You don't know what you're talking
about, Ellen."
"I do too! Remember, I was there when you came crying to me, asking
for help. You told me the whole story!"
"Then you weren't listening! Because I also told you that it wasn't
his entire fault. It was mine, too Ellen, mine too! I love him and I will
not let him ruin his reputation and the respect he has earned."
"And what about you?" She sneered, "If you take Rini, they will
wonder whose child she is, what are you going to tell them?"
"I don't know yet but if I have to I will tell the truth. I definitely
plan on telling Father, he at least deserves that."
"What? Are you serious? He will disown you!"
"Then so be it! But I am taking Rini and living away from this hell hole,
do you understand? There is nothing you can do about it, Ellen. I know you
want to keep Rini because she is the only daughter you can ever have, but
you must settle for being her Aunt as I have."
"I will not! What will society say when MY daughter goes missing?"
"Tell them the truth, Ellen!" I yelled.
Her face went ashen.
"I'm sorry, Ellen. But you have to understand, Rini isn't happy here. She's
not happy and she hasn't been truly been happy in a long time."
"She's happy! Of course, she's happy! She has me for a mother! I give
her everything she could ever want! I give her pretty clothes, dolls, toys,
a large pink canopy bed, and a horse! She has everything she could ever
want here!"
"Did it ever occur to you that that's not what she needs? I told you not
to buy her all that. I knew that it wouldn't satisfy her."
"Oh, that's right. Mother gave you everything you needed. But you know
what; our mother never gave anything real to me or to you!"
I felt my lower lip quiver, "I swear, if you speak of Mother like
that again, so help me I will let this temper go. She suffered everything!
So, don't go disgracing her name!"
Silence issued.
We stared each other down, neither of us moving but both of us breathing
hard.
"I will never let her go!"
I straitened up and smoothed down my skirt, "We shall see about that.
I will take her the day after tomorrow. You better get your act together
by then."
"She won't be there."
-------
To Be Continued…