Disclaimer: I did not create any of the LOTR characters; I am just borrowing and claim no right to who they are. I also mean no offense

to Tolkien's original purpose for

The characters I will be using. (Or Yu-Gi-Oh)

Chapter One

Run in with a Retard

One day I was walking thru like a forest and I ran into this dude. He was some freaky shit to. Blond hair blue eyes and a certain resemblance to a two-bit actor (no names.) So I stared screaming. He started to freak out. I mean like really freak out, he started pissing his pant and everything. At this I stopped screaming cause really who likes to see a grown man (elf) wet his pants. It was like I could have smelled it from a mile away. Actually I think someone did because this short little dude came running out of the forest yelling (and pulling up his pant like he just let the trout swim down stream)

"Legolas orcs. Coming from all sides."

At this the "Legolas started screaming and fumbling with a worn out bow. Once he got the bow under control he tried to pull an arrow out of his quiver. He did finally get it out while some how managing to stab himself right were the sun don't shine very well.

All during this show put on by the "Legolas" the short little dude had started chopping down orcs. I mean really he was chopping those fuckers like there was no tomorrow. They went down one after another after another. Now as you can imagine this got quiet bloody; so I (naturally not wanting to be touched by the nasty looking stuff) climbed up a tree. One of the so-called "orcs" wanted to follow but got cut down by the little dude's axe. I kept climbing. In about fifteen minutes it was all over. The little dude went to help the "Legolas" which had been squirming on the ground the whole time (apparently he had almost lost something very important.) Couldn't say I wasn't happy about what happened to the pants pisser.

Just soon after that the little dude came a calling. (Kinda like a dog the little shit face.)

"Come on little girl come here. Come on."

Like a normal person I spat on him and said

"Go away shit face and take your little retard friend with you."

At this a lot of incomprehensible garble came out of the "Legolas'" mouth.

The little dude said, "Please just come down that I may explain some things to you."

I spat on him and came down.

Once I got down the little dude said

"My name is Gimli. What is your name?"

"Why should I tell you?" (Under my voice "asswipe".) You have given me no reason to trust you."

Gimli countered with "W-w-hat do you mean "you have given me no reason to trust you." I just saved your life from orcs that would have raped you then eaten you! What do you do to thank me you spit on me. I should skin you right now."

Me as I usually do when people talk to me that way got angry; so I wanted to annoy him; so I told him "You have the privilege of calling me Yami-Kristin alter ego to Kristin. I shall travel with you and the retard (more garble from the retard) till I have decided that I no longer wish to be around the two of you or whomever we might run into. And hence forth or until I get tired I shall sing the song that "Never Ends". But first where are we going?"

A/N

Kristin: Thanks for reading please R&R

Yami-Kristin: Llamallamallamallama nohavellama