Title: Our Lullaby
Author: Marie J.W.
Chapter: CHAPTER SIX
Rated: PG
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary:
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even
know her own mother.
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING NOTE: The ending to the last chapter has been changed. Make sure
you read that first! This will not make sense unless you read it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
…Memory…
Sitting with a kitten in her lap, little Serenity watched her mother sew
a quilt together in her lap. The quilt had bright colors and, on some of
the bright squares, intricate designs.
"Are you going to make Ellen another quilt?" Serenity looked up at
her mother from the floor where she was sitting. She petted the soft kitten
as it purred in her lap.
"No, this quilt is for you."
"Me?" Serenity looked at the lovely quilt and smiled, "It's pretty. When will
it be done?"
"Not for a while but then again, you won't get married for a while either."
Serenity frowned.
Smiling, her mother explained, "This is a wedding blanket. This will be
my gift to you on your wedding day. It's very special and you'll have to
take good care of it."
Serenity nodded slowly, "When will I get married?"
"When you're older. Some nice young man is going to take you away from me and
I want you to still remember me when you have a family of your own."
Young Serenity could hardly understand what her mother really meant
but nodded anyway, "Even without the quilt, I'll never forget you."
"I'm glad."
"Mother?"
"Hmmm?"
"I love you this much!" Serenity held her arms as far as they could go on
each side but as she looked at the distance she quickly added, "And three
times that much!"
Her mothers laugh echoed around the room.
…End Memory…
---------
I told her everything. I told Mina the whole story from the very
beginning. I knew I couldn't possibly explain my ordeal if she didn't
understand the past. I told her about Darien, our friendship; I told her
about my father and how I lost my mother; I told her about that life
altering night. I told her about the cabin where I gave birth to Rini and
where we lived for a few years. Then I finally told her about coming to
Ellen and John.
"You see, I knew Ellen hated our father. She wouldn't tell and she
would jump at the chance to take Rini in as her own. I wanted Rini to grow
up with a family and have the chance to become something. I wanted her
to experience life to its fullest, not to be hidden up in the mountains,"
I leaned back against the sofa and stared off into the dimly lit sitting
room, "I was wrong though. I wanted her to be happy. I thought having
two parents and wealth and good up bringing would be enough. It's not enough,
it wasn't enough," my voice broke as tears threatened to come to my eyes,
"I'm a terrible mother."
Mina was quite the whole time. Dried tears remained on her cheeks as
she looked solemnly down at me. She sat next to me on the sofa, holding my
hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze.
"You're not a terrible mother, Sere, although I think you made some
horrible decisions," here she seemed to hesitate, "You should have told
Darien, that I am sure of-"
"No," I immediately sat up, shaking my head, "no, I couldn't, I can't!
Do you know what society would do to him? Yes, he would marry me despite
the consequences. He doesn't deserve that kind of a wife! He deserves-"
Mina threw my hand away from her and stood up, suddenly looking angry.
I pulled back, frightened.
"Serenity, do you honestly believe that Darien would regret marrying
you? Isn't there proof enough that he loves you and cares about you more
than anyone? For goodness sakes, Sere, he's not married! He's still a
bachelor. If he wanted to get married, he sure as heck had plenty of time
while you were gone!"
I turned hurt eyes away from her, "He doesn't know about the baby though…"
"He's better than that, even I could see that when he ran after you. He
would love Rini just as much as you despite the circumstances. Why do you
think so little of him?" Mina went quiet, "Did you ever think, despite
his alcoholic induced state, that he fell into what he did because he
wanted to… at least at some future date? Maybe not then, but he could very
well have been in love with you."
I stared at her. That had never occurred to me. However, as I mulled it
over in my head, it could very well be true. I mentally shook my head. It was
a logical explanation but at the same time, I couldn't completely believe it.
"I can't tell him. He deserves to know but not yet…not yet."
Mina sighed and sat back down, "Alright, but at least you're thinking about
it. Now, when does Darien arrive?"
I looked at the grandfather clock and sighed, "Maybe a half hour."
"Good. Alright, this is what we're going to do. Ellen took Rini to a
girl's school. Right? So we look for her."
"But there are so many! Where do we start looking?"
"Lita and the girls own a girls academy a few miles away. I'm sure they can
give us a list of schools and their locations," Mina took a deep breath
and patted my hand, "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
I stared at her as I lifted an eyebrow.
She giggled to release some tension, "Right," She grabbed my hand and pulled
me off the sofa, "I want you to, ah, change in something less dreary if
possible and put your luggage in my carriage. We'll be gone before the Duke
even arrives. Then we'll stop at my place, gather my things and be off to
the girl's academy."
I relaxed and nodded. What would I do without Mina? Wait a minute-
"What about Darien? He's sure to be upset! I told him I would go with him.
He's expecting me to be here."
"Well, you obviously can't go with him without Rini, so we find her
first. And unless you want to stick around and explain all of this to
Darien right now, I suggest you leave a vague message with one of the
servants and be off."
I swallowed nervously and nodded, "Okay," I nodded a second time as I
walked out of the sitting room, 'Right, when Darien finds out, he's not going
to be happy.'
-----------
An hour later, I sat in Mina's carriage. We had taken surprisingly
very little time at Mina's residence to gather her things. I sat stiffly
against the carriage window, "Mina?"
She turned to me, "Hmm?"
"Thank you."
Mina smiled, "No problem. You know, I'm actually glad to help. This town
is so dreary," She made a face, "and the people are so old. I'm excited to
get out of town and have a little adventure. So you're doing me more of a
favor then you realize."
I smiled for the first time in what seemed millions of hours.
"I just hope I can truly help you. From what you told me we're hours behind
your sister, which means she has a head start. Hopefully, when she returns
she won't find you missing as a threat to loosing Rini. She might just move
her again."
I had to admit, I hadn't thought of that.
Sighing I nodded, "I just hope Rini is okay. It's her first time away from
home… and really, her first time truly away from me. I've always been with
her; it was one of our deals. I'm sure she's quite nervous being so far
from home."
"Rini's a tough girl and she'll be okay. Besides, she's her
mother's daughter, right? She'll pull through."
Shaking my head, I gave a small smile, "You're such an optimistic
Mina, however do you manage the energy?"
Mina laughed and shook her head. Apparently, it was to be her own
little secret.
---------
He was a little late but he was sure they would still make it in time
by nightfall to their first stop on their way home. Darien tightened his
gloves as he looked out the window. The mansion was just in view. The
carriage rolled up to the front and came to a stop.
Darien stepped out and called to his coachman, "This will only take a
few moments. Don't bother bringing the carriage into the barn."
"Yes Sir."
Darien approached the door and knocked. Several seconds later, a maid
answered the door. She looked at him curiously before giving him the
regular speech, "I apologize, but all occupants of the house are away, sir.
Were you to be expected?"
Darien frowned, "Yes, in fact I was. I'm supposed to take Lady ReCinny
and her niece Miss Rini with me this morning."
The maid's face scrunched in confusion, "Well, Miss Rini went with
Lady Starant to a ladies school and Lady ReCinny just left just over a half
an hour ago, sir. I believe she said she was planning to be out of town
for weeks."
Frustration and anger immediately grew as he tightened his fists
together, "Did she say where she was going?"
"No sir. However, she did leave with Lady Mina Revolli, if that helps
any. Should I leave a message for their return?"
Darien took a deep breath and forced himself to smile, "No, that won't
be necessary, sorry to bother you." Darien gave a short bow in farewell
and turned on his heels. 'That girl has some explaining to do!'
Quickly entering his carriage, he ordered his coachman, "Take the
nearest road out of here and follow it and fast! I'm going to catch up
with those girls!"
The coachman quickly pushed the horses into a trot and then into a lazy
run as he came out of the Starant driveway. Darien held onto the open window
as he glared at the passing scenery. What did she think she was doing
running off like that? Had she lied to him to get him off her case? Well,
if she thought she could run away again, she had another thought coming.
He was bringing her home and finding the underlying cause of this before
his return home as well. He owed that to himself, her father as well as to
the woman herself.
--------
It seemed to take forever to get away from Mina's dear friends. Lita
insisted that we stay for lunch and then Amy had a little trouble finding
the list of schools.
Eventually, we found ourselves bound for the "Chimalds Ladies Academy",
the first school on the list. It would take us the rest of the day just to
get to Chimalds and by then it would be too late to inquire about Rini. We
would have to do that in the morning. Mina informed me that she had some
friends in Chimald who might accommodate us while we were there.
For the moment, the road seemed long. I watched Mina who had fallen
asleep against one of the windows as she softly snored. This was an
adventure for Mina but so much more to me. Rini was my daughter and although
I hadn't been a mother to her in years, I still felt I needed to salvage
my future. I couldn't change my past but maybe, if I could just find her,
I could change things.
I was such an awful Aunt. I made sure I was strict, even more so, when
I found that Ellen lacked disciplinary skills. Rini was such a sweet
daughter when she was young but the more time we spent at Ellen's the more
she became rebellious, ill mannered and withdrawn. Part of it was due to me,
I have to confess. My own mother, if she were alive, would be
sorely disappointed in me for being less than I am.
When I felt happy, I squashed the feeling, when I felt content, I
shook myself out of it, when I felt a smile coming to my face I turned away.
I did all of this to hide my feelings from the world. If one happy or
sad emotion were to be recognized, I wouldn't be able to pretend I wasn't
Rini's mother any more. My emotions were so connected to Rini. She was the
only family I had left.
I only hoped Rini would be able to forgive me and be patient.
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.
What was with all the emotions lately! What was I going through? Even
before Darien arrived, I was becoming more emotional than I had in years.
I swallowed around the tears in my throat and held my head up, letting the
tears flow silently. Well, I was done not showing my emotions!
When I find Rini, our life is going to be different. I'm going to be the
best mother in the whole world and I'm going to prove that "I am" my
mother's daughter. I don't care what society thinks! My mother wouldn't
have cared. She would have stood up for me if she were here. She would have
held me and whispered how everything was going to be fine. She would make
things better and I'm going to make things better for Rini.
I'll buy a house near father in the countryside and maybe I'll become
a schoolteacher or something of that nature. Maybe I'll teach piano lessons
or dance lessons to the young girls in town.
My life could be better.
Just when I felt my hopes rising and my confidence in my future gaining,
the sound of horse hooves hitting the ground not too far behind us reached
my ears. Surprised to not be the only one on such a long and far out road,
I craned my head out the window and looked back. Frowning, I wondered who
it would be. They were traveling fast, hard, and gaining on us.
I quickly put my head back in and reached across to shake Mina awake,
"Mina, Mina, there is someone behind us."
Confused, Mina looked around, "What?"
"There is someone behind us."
"Really?" Mina put her head out the window, in much the same way I had
just moments before, "Hmmm…" she ducked back into the carriage, and "It
looks like a noble's carriage."
"I know that! But who in the world would be out here at this time of the
day besides us?"
"Oh," Mina was just getting what I was saying. She frowned, "Well, it
could be just some nobleman in a hurry to get somewhere or-"
"Or what?"
"It could be your prince looking for his runaway princess," Mina
looked thoughtful, "I wondered if he would chase after you," smiling
Mina added gleefully, "Well, now we know!"
--------
To be continued…
Author: Marie J.W.
Chapter: CHAPTER SIX
Rated: PG
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary:
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even
know her own mother.
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING NOTE: The ending to the last chapter has been changed. Make sure
you read that first! This will not make sense unless you read it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
…Memory…
Sitting with a kitten in her lap, little Serenity watched her mother sew
a quilt together in her lap. The quilt had bright colors and, on some of
the bright squares, intricate designs.
"Are you going to make Ellen another quilt?" Serenity looked up at
her mother from the floor where she was sitting. She petted the soft kitten
as it purred in her lap.
"No, this quilt is for you."
"Me?" Serenity looked at the lovely quilt and smiled, "It's pretty. When will
it be done?"
"Not for a while but then again, you won't get married for a while either."
Serenity frowned.
Smiling, her mother explained, "This is a wedding blanket. This will be
my gift to you on your wedding day. It's very special and you'll have to
take good care of it."
Serenity nodded slowly, "When will I get married?"
"When you're older. Some nice young man is going to take you away from me and
I want you to still remember me when you have a family of your own."
Young Serenity could hardly understand what her mother really meant
but nodded anyway, "Even without the quilt, I'll never forget you."
"I'm glad."
"Mother?"
"Hmmm?"
"I love you this much!" Serenity held her arms as far as they could go on
each side but as she looked at the distance she quickly added, "And three
times that much!"
Her mothers laugh echoed around the room.
…End Memory…
---------
I told her everything. I told Mina the whole story from the very
beginning. I knew I couldn't possibly explain my ordeal if she didn't
understand the past. I told her about Darien, our friendship; I told her
about my father and how I lost my mother; I told her about that life
altering night. I told her about the cabin where I gave birth to Rini and
where we lived for a few years. Then I finally told her about coming to
Ellen and John.
"You see, I knew Ellen hated our father. She wouldn't tell and she
would jump at the chance to take Rini in as her own. I wanted Rini to grow
up with a family and have the chance to become something. I wanted her
to experience life to its fullest, not to be hidden up in the mountains,"
I leaned back against the sofa and stared off into the dimly lit sitting
room, "I was wrong though. I wanted her to be happy. I thought having
two parents and wealth and good up bringing would be enough. It's not enough,
it wasn't enough," my voice broke as tears threatened to come to my eyes,
"I'm a terrible mother."
Mina was quite the whole time. Dried tears remained on her cheeks as
she looked solemnly down at me. She sat next to me on the sofa, holding my
hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze.
"You're not a terrible mother, Sere, although I think you made some
horrible decisions," here she seemed to hesitate, "You should have told
Darien, that I am sure of-"
"No," I immediately sat up, shaking my head, "no, I couldn't, I can't!
Do you know what society would do to him? Yes, he would marry me despite
the consequences. He doesn't deserve that kind of a wife! He deserves-"
Mina threw my hand away from her and stood up, suddenly looking angry.
I pulled back, frightened.
"Serenity, do you honestly believe that Darien would regret marrying
you? Isn't there proof enough that he loves you and cares about you more
than anyone? For goodness sakes, Sere, he's not married! He's still a
bachelor. If he wanted to get married, he sure as heck had plenty of time
while you were gone!"
I turned hurt eyes away from her, "He doesn't know about the baby though…"
"He's better than that, even I could see that when he ran after you. He
would love Rini just as much as you despite the circumstances. Why do you
think so little of him?" Mina went quiet, "Did you ever think, despite
his alcoholic induced state, that he fell into what he did because he
wanted to… at least at some future date? Maybe not then, but he could very
well have been in love with you."
I stared at her. That had never occurred to me. However, as I mulled it
over in my head, it could very well be true. I mentally shook my head. It was
a logical explanation but at the same time, I couldn't completely believe it.
"I can't tell him. He deserves to know but not yet…not yet."
Mina sighed and sat back down, "Alright, but at least you're thinking about
it. Now, when does Darien arrive?"
I looked at the grandfather clock and sighed, "Maybe a half hour."
"Good. Alright, this is what we're going to do. Ellen took Rini to a
girl's school. Right? So we look for her."
"But there are so many! Where do we start looking?"
"Lita and the girls own a girls academy a few miles away. I'm sure they can
give us a list of schools and their locations," Mina took a deep breath
and patted my hand, "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
I stared at her as I lifted an eyebrow.
She giggled to release some tension, "Right," She grabbed my hand and pulled
me off the sofa, "I want you to, ah, change in something less dreary if
possible and put your luggage in my carriage. We'll be gone before the Duke
even arrives. Then we'll stop at my place, gather my things and be off to
the girl's academy."
I relaxed and nodded. What would I do without Mina? Wait a minute-
"What about Darien? He's sure to be upset! I told him I would go with him.
He's expecting me to be here."
"Well, you obviously can't go with him without Rini, so we find her
first. And unless you want to stick around and explain all of this to
Darien right now, I suggest you leave a vague message with one of the
servants and be off."
I swallowed nervously and nodded, "Okay," I nodded a second time as I
walked out of the sitting room, 'Right, when Darien finds out, he's not going
to be happy.'
-----------
An hour later, I sat in Mina's carriage. We had taken surprisingly
very little time at Mina's residence to gather her things. I sat stiffly
against the carriage window, "Mina?"
She turned to me, "Hmm?"
"Thank you."
Mina smiled, "No problem. You know, I'm actually glad to help. This town
is so dreary," She made a face, "and the people are so old. I'm excited to
get out of town and have a little adventure. So you're doing me more of a
favor then you realize."
I smiled for the first time in what seemed millions of hours.
"I just hope I can truly help you. From what you told me we're hours behind
your sister, which means she has a head start. Hopefully, when she returns
she won't find you missing as a threat to loosing Rini. She might just move
her again."
I had to admit, I hadn't thought of that.
Sighing I nodded, "I just hope Rini is okay. It's her first time away from
home… and really, her first time truly away from me. I've always been with
her; it was one of our deals. I'm sure she's quite nervous being so far
from home."
"Rini's a tough girl and she'll be okay. Besides, she's her
mother's daughter, right? She'll pull through."
Shaking my head, I gave a small smile, "You're such an optimistic
Mina, however do you manage the energy?"
Mina laughed and shook her head. Apparently, it was to be her own
little secret.
---------
He was a little late but he was sure they would still make it in time
by nightfall to their first stop on their way home. Darien tightened his
gloves as he looked out the window. The mansion was just in view. The
carriage rolled up to the front and came to a stop.
Darien stepped out and called to his coachman, "This will only take a
few moments. Don't bother bringing the carriage into the barn."
"Yes Sir."
Darien approached the door and knocked. Several seconds later, a maid
answered the door. She looked at him curiously before giving him the
regular speech, "I apologize, but all occupants of the house are away, sir.
Were you to be expected?"
Darien frowned, "Yes, in fact I was. I'm supposed to take Lady ReCinny
and her niece Miss Rini with me this morning."
The maid's face scrunched in confusion, "Well, Miss Rini went with
Lady Starant to a ladies school and Lady ReCinny just left just over a half
an hour ago, sir. I believe she said she was planning to be out of town
for weeks."
Frustration and anger immediately grew as he tightened his fists
together, "Did she say where she was going?"
"No sir. However, she did leave with Lady Mina Revolli, if that helps
any. Should I leave a message for their return?"
Darien took a deep breath and forced himself to smile, "No, that won't
be necessary, sorry to bother you." Darien gave a short bow in farewell
and turned on his heels. 'That girl has some explaining to do!'
Quickly entering his carriage, he ordered his coachman, "Take the
nearest road out of here and follow it and fast! I'm going to catch up
with those girls!"
The coachman quickly pushed the horses into a trot and then into a lazy
run as he came out of the Starant driveway. Darien held onto the open window
as he glared at the passing scenery. What did she think she was doing
running off like that? Had she lied to him to get him off her case? Well,
if she thought she could run away again, she had another thought coming.
He was bringing her home and finding the underlying cause of this before
his return home as well. He owed that to himself, her father as well as to
the woman herself.
--------
It seemed to take forever to get away from Mina's dear friends. Lita
insisted that we stay for lunch and then Amy had a little trouble finding
the list of schools.
Eventually, we found ourselves bound for the "Chimalds Ladies Academy",
the first school on the list. It would take us the rest of the day just to
get to Chimalds and by then it would be too late to inquire about Rini. We
would have to do that in the morning. Mina informed me that she had some
friends in Chimald who might accommodate us while we were there.
For the moment, the road seemed long. I watched Mina who had fallen
asleep against one of the windows as she softly snored. This was an
adventure for Mina but so much more to me. Rini was my daughter and although
I hadn't been a mother to her in years, I still felt I needed to salvage
my future. I couldn't change my past but maybe, if I could just find her,
I could change things.
I was such an awful Aunt. I made sure I was strict, even more so, when
I found that Ellen lacked disciplinary skills. Rini was such a sweet
daughter when she was young but the more time we spent at Ellen's the more
she became rebellious, ill mannered and withdrawn. Part of it was due to me,
I have to confess. My own mother, if she were alive, would be
sorely disappointed in me for being less than I am.
When I felt happy, I squashed the feeling, when I felt content, I
shook myself out of it, when I felt a smile coming to my face I turned away.
I did all of this to hide my feelings from the world. If one happy or
sad emotion were to be recognized, I wouldn't be able to pretend I wasn't
Rini's mother any more. My emotions were so connected to Rini. She was the
only family I had left.
I only hoped Rini would be able to forgive me and be patient.
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.
What was with all the emotions lately! What was I going through? Even
before Darien arrived, I was becoming more emotional than I had in years.
I swallowed around the tears in my throat and held my head up, letting the
tears flow silently. Well, I was done not showing my emotions!
When I find Rini, our life is going to be different. I'm going to be the
best mother in the whole world and I'm going to prove that "I am" my
mother's daughter. I don't care what society thinks! My mother wouldn't
have cared. She would have stood up for me if she were here. She would have
held me and whispered how everything was going to be fine. She would make
things better and I'm going to make things better for Rini.
I'll buy a house near father in the countryside and maybe I'll become
a schoolteacher or something of that nature. Maybe I'll teach piano lessons
or dance lessons to the young girls in town.
My life could be better.
Just when I felt my hopes rising and my confidence in my future gaining,
the sound of horse hooves hitting the ground not too far behind us reached
my ears. Surprised to not be the only one on such a long and far out road,
I craned my head out the window and looked back. Frowning, I wondered who
it would be. They were traveling fast, hard, and gaining on us.
I quickly put my head back in and reached across to shake Mina awake,
"Mina, Mina, there is someone behind us."
Confused, Mina looked around, "What?"
"There is someone behind us."
"Really?" Mina put her head out the window, in much the same way I had
just moments before, "Hmmm…" she ducked back into the carriage, and "It
looks like a noble's carriage."
"I know that! But who in the world would be out here at this time of the
day besides us?"
"Oh," Mina was just getting what I was saying. She frowned, "Well, it
could be just some nobleman in a hurry to get somewhere or-"
"Or what?"
"It could be your prince looking for his runaway princess," Mina
looked thoughtful, "I wondered if he would chase after you," smiling
Mina added gleefully, "Well, now we know!"
--------
To be continued…
