What I meant to say

"Well, I guess this is gonna be it."

Jess nodded as he waited for the bus out of Stars Hollow to pick up Jimmy that night after the wedding. "Yeah."

They stood in silence, and both said the words "I'll call you" at the same time. Jimmy laughed a little and Jess smirked and rolled his eyes.

"I'll call you when I get home," Jimmy said. "Well... I'll probably have Lily call you, but it'll be the same thing."

"Right," Jess replied. "Did you say goodbye to Grandma Sofia?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yeah, I did... did you know that Gloria hates me?"

Jess shrugged. "She hates you just about as much as I hate Uncle Tommy."

"Right... no word from him?" Jimmy asked.

Jess shook his head. "No word in eleven years... not since Aunt Anna died."

Jimmy nodded. "Right..." he sighed. "You gotta wonder how he and I turned out so shitty."

"You're not shitty," Jess replied. "You're just flaky."

"Thanks," Jimmy snapped with a roll of his eyes.

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not."

"Well, there you go."

"I just... wonder," Jimmy went on with his original thought. "Y'know... Frankie and Sofia did right by Tommy and me... and we still turned out to be a couple of schmucks."

"Yeah, well, maybe there was a latent gene in there somewhere for schmuckiness," Jess retorted.

"Makes sense. If I got the dormant gene and it became dominant... that's where you get it from," Jimmy smirked.

"Go to hell, old man."

"Old man..." Jimmy pondered. "It's a step up."

Jess didn't reply.

Jimmy shoved his hands in his coat pockets and sighed. "Your grandfather was a good man."

"I know."

"He was so excited when Liz got pregnant with you," Jimmy went on. "Broke out cigars, wine, the works, cause you were on the way."

Again, Jess stayed silent, preferring to glance at a spot on pavement bellow.

"I came to the funeral, you know."

He looked up at Jimmy, a little startled. "You did?"

Jimmy nodded. "I saw you and Gloria... was gonna talk to you..."

Jess furrowed his brow a little, curious. "Why didn't you?"

"I don't know," Jimmy admitted. "I just... I saw you sitting there, and I just couldn't."

Jess nodded slowly.

The bus pulled up slowly, and Jimmy sighed. "This is me." He turned to Jess, not quite sure what to do. "Work on your left hook a little more, and you could kick my ass the next time."

Jess smirked. "You're going down."

"Sure," Jimmy laughed. He patted Jess on the shoulder. "Take care."

"You, too."

Jimmy pushed him playfully before getting on the bus.

Jess sat on the bus stop bench and sighed in the November sunlight, watching the bus carry Jimmy off to the airport.

"I'm thinking about something."

They were lying in her bed far too early the next morning. He had another hour before his shift, and she couldn't help the smile that crept up on her as she cuddled into his side, her head resting against his t- shirt clad chest. They were both looking up at the ceiling.

"Animal, vegetable or mineral?" She asked.

"Huh... how do you classify a memory?"

"None of the above?"

"Guess so."

Rory turned her head from the ceiling to look at him. "What memory?"

"Our first kiss," Jess replied, keeping his gaze upwards.

"Oh." She reddened at the memory of the impulsive move she'd mad. She'd kissed him and run. She'd run all the way to Washington without a word to him for weeks and when she'd returned...

A wave of guilt hit her. "What about it?"

He blinked and finally turned to her. "Why did you?" He'd wanted to know for years what had brought on that bout of passionate spontaneity. It had come up briefly at the wedding the day before, mostly as a joke, but the more he thought of it, the more curious he became.

She gave him a thoughtful look and tilted her head. "Just... wanted to." She smiled as his words from those few years ago left her lips.

He smirked wryly and looked back up at the ceiling. "Huh."

"Can I ask you something?" Rory asked.

He nodded.

"If I'd let you talk afterwards... after I kissed you... what would you have said?"

She watched him as he stayed silent, his eyes glued to the ceiling.

"Jess?"

He stayed silent for another moment. "It's not important."

Her brow furrowed slightly. "Neither is why I kissed you."

"Well, you kind of gave me a cop-out answer, don't you think?" He bit, obviously annoyed.

"Says the king of cop-outs."

He sat up. "I have to get ready for work."

"And watch as he proves my point entirely."

He rolled his eyes and gathered his pants and jacket.

"Look at him go, ladies and gentlemen. Avoiding conflict at all costs!"

"I'm not fighting with you."

"What would you have said?" she asked again.

He glared. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I asked you first."

"Hello, maturity."

"Look who's talking."

He shook his head. "I'm leaving."

"Well, you've always been good at that," she snapped quickly, but regretted it a little.

He stared at her for a moment, and then walked out of the room, running right into Lorelai.

She blinked drowsily. "Hello, Diner Boy. What're you doing up so early?"

"Leaving," he replied, trying to get around her.

She stopped him from leaving. "Why?"

"Because I have to work."

"Not for another hour," Lorelai pointed out. She gave him a suspicious look. "Did you and Rory get in a fight?"

"No."

Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm leaving," Jess told her. "If I'm late, Luke is going to kill me."

"What did you fight about?"

"We're not fighting. Whatever's going on, it's none of your business," Jess glared. "So just... let me leave."

"Nope."

He sighed.

"If you have issues, fix them," she told him. "Fight it out! I don't care! Just don't leave her in the lurch."

"Well, apparently, it's what I'm best at."

"I said it's what you're good at!" Rory corrected from her room. "Not best at!"

"Whatever!" Jess yelled back. "You're the one who started with the evasiveness!"

"I was trying to be cute!"

"You're already cute!" Jess yelled. "Look what happens when you try too hard!"

"You're so mean!"

"You've known that for years!"

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Okay. It's really early. I haven't had any coffee yet, and you're standing here in a t-shirt and your boxer shorts arguing with my daughter, who is in a completely different room."

Jess tried to get past her again, but she grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around and led him to Rory's room. She knocked on the door.

"He can't come in."

Jess tried to turn and leave again but Lorelai stopped him. "He wants to apologize."

"What?!" Jess cried. "No I don't! She's at fault just as much as I am!"

"So you admit you're at fault, too!"

"You started this!"

"No! You started this! You wanted to know why I kissed you!"

"And you evaded the question completely!"

"I didn't evade the question!" Rory yelled. "I did want to kiss you! That's why I kissed you!"

Lorelai was completely baffled. "Which kiss?"

Jess turned back and glared at the older Gilmore before turning back to the door. "Can I come in?"

"No!" she cried. "You can stay out there and let my mother harass you!"

He groaned. "Rory!"

Lorelai smacked him upside the head. "What did you do to her?!"

He flinched and glared. "I didn't do anything!"

"Why won't you just tell me what you were going to say?" Rory cried, her voice shaking.

Jess knew that tone all too well. Tears. "Oh shi-... Rory... come on, open the door."

Lorelai sighed when Rory didn't answer. "I'm making coffee." She walked off, glancing back at Jess before going into the kitchen.

"Rory?"

She sniffed a little. "What?"

He sighed and paused for a moment. "It doesn't have to mean anything," he told her quietly. "We can just... forget about it if you want. No one saw. No one has to know. But... just so you know... I'm not sorry."

She opened the door slowly, and stood before him, wiping her eyes. "That was it?"

"Yeah."

She sighed. "I don't know what I would have said."

"That's okay."

"I kissed you because I wanted to... I saw you, and I didn't think, I just... did."

He nodded, and stepped forward and kissed her softly. "Like that?"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "Kinda. Yeah."

"Are we okay?" he asked.

She held him tighter. "Yeah. I'm sorry for the things I said... I was just kind of angry."

He nodded again, and put his arms around her. "I'm hungry."

She snickered at his change of subject and kissed him. "That's my line."

"Hey, Rory," Luke said from behind the counter. "Where's Jess?"

"He told me to tell you he's calling in dead," she replied, sitting at the counter. "And therefore, this order is to go."

"Ugh... I told him I needed him here this morning," Luke complained.

"I'll drag him in later, I promise."

"Where's your mom?"

Rory sighed. "She went back to sleep. I think she had too much wine at the wedding."

Luke merely nodded. "So, what're you having?"

"One order of pancakes, two orders of eggs, one cheeseburger, and four Danishes."

"Cheeseburger?"

"He wants a cheeseburger."

"He's spending too much time around you," Luke shook his head. "Anything else?"

"Yup. I'd like an order of when are you going to ask my mother out on a date."

"Got it-... what?"

Rory smiled. "I saw you guys dancing..."

"I'm putting in your order now."

"You were so cute together."

Luke shook his head and walked into the kitchen, and Rory snickered.

"Hey, Rory."

She turned and smiled. "Hey, Dean. What's up?"

"Not a lot... just getting breakfast," he replied, taking a seat next to her at the counter. "You?"

"Picking up breakfast for myself and the lazy bum lying in my bed, reading my books."

"Ah."

Rory frowned. "Hey... is everything okay? You look kinda bummed."

"It's nothing, really," Dean replied. "Lindsay and I had a fight this morning, is all."

"Wow, seems to be going around," she nodded.

"Oh, yeah?" Dean asked, interestedly. "You guys, too?"

Rory shrugged. "For a little while, but I think it was just both of us being really stubborn... we're good at that... anyways, it was fine once we got everything out into the open... unless he decides to write in the margins of my books again... then he will pay."

Dean smirked. "Do you guys fight a lot?"

"No more than any other normal couple," she replied.

"Lindsay and I fight a lot," Dean informed her. "I think we're getting really sick of each other..."

"Oh."

"I think maybe I want to take a break," he said. "I mean... that's normal, right? To want to take a break...Do you ever feel like that with Jess?"

"Not...really," Rory said, shifting in her seat. "I mean... he's only been back from California for a little less than two months...and even before he left, I wasn't ready for the five months I spent without him...and it's a little different, seeing as you and Lindsay are married."

"Oh," Dean nodded, looking a little disappointed. "Because...well, it's kind of stupid, but...I was thinking if you wanted to take a break together..."

"No, thanks," Rory responded quickly. "I...Jess and I are very happy with the way things are right now."

"Okay."

Luke walked out with a bag of food and handed it to Rory. "Here you go."

Rory pulled out the money she owed and paid. "See you, Dean," she said as she walked out.

"Bye," he muttered.

"Which kiss?"

"For the millionth time, Lorelai, it's none of your business," Jess snapped.

"Oh, yes it is," Lorelai replied. "This kiss involved my daughter. Therefore, it is my business."

"It was nothing."

"Obviously. Because you guys fight about absolutely nothing all the time."

Jess shook his head and got off the couch. "Will you just drop it?"

"Nope. Which kiss?"

Jess groaned.

"Food!" Rory called from the front hall.

"Food!" Lorelai repeated, forgetting about Jess. She rushed out to greet her daughter and grab the bag of food. Well... try.

Rory held on tight. "Mom!"

"Food!"

"Oh, my god! Jess how much coffee did she have?!"

He shrugged.

"Mom, let me put the food in the kitchen."

Lorelai pouted and let go. "Fine."

Rory led her mother into the kitchen, and Jess slowly followed, taking a seat at the table.

"Luke mad?"

"Just slightly annoyed," Rory replied. "I told him I'd drag you in later."

Jess nodded and unwrapped the cheeseburger Rory had handed him.

"He's angrier at you for eating a burger for breakfast," Rory smirked, watching him, as she unloaded more food.

Jess shrugged and took a bite.

Lorelai grabbed her food and started digging in.

Jess watched, crinkling his brow. "Horrible... terrible... yet... so... so fascinating..."

Rory sat down in between them and started eating quietly.

Lorelai gave her daughter an interested look.

"What?" Rory asked.

"You seem kind of off."

"Oh."

Jess reached out and put a gentle hand under her chin, turning her face toward him. He studied her carefully. "She's not wrong," he concluded. "What is it?"

Rory shrugged. "Nothing... it's just..."

Jess kept his eyes on her.

"I ran into Dean."

He rolled his eyes and sat back.

"He... he asked me... something weird."

"How weird?" Lorelai asked. "Threesome weird? Because I don't think Jess goes for that."

"Sitting right here, thanks," Jess cut in.

Both Gilmores ignored him, and Rory turned to face her mother.

"He asked if I ever felt like taking a break," Rory explained.

"A break from what?"

Rory bit her lip and turned to Jess. "Girl talk time?"

He nodded, and walked out of the room with his burger.

Rory waited until she heard her bedroom door close to continue, and then turned to Lorelai again.

"He wanted to know if I wanted to take a break from Jess."

Lorelai gave her a confused look. "Why does he care?"

"Because he wants a break from Lindsay."

"So... in other words, he wants you to help him cheat on his wife, and he wants you to let him help you cheat on Jess."

Rory nodded.

She shook her head. "That's... really convoluted... what did you say?"

"I said no!" Rory cried. "What else could I say?"

Lorelai sighed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Rory replied. "I just... it was such a weird question... I mean... he wants... he wants me to be... his mistress... I mean... poor Lindsay! And... And he wants to be my man on the side... I don't want a man on the side! I don't have room for a man on the side! All sides are taken up!"

"So, just let it go," Lorelai shrugged. "He asked... you said no...it's over, right?"

Rory nodded. "Yeah... I hope so."

Inside Rory's room, Jess leaned against the door and listened intently.