Part 7
"So anyways, what do you think?" Adam asked expectantly. Jay nodded in agreement as they both stared at Amy.
"Oh man, I don't know you guys, I mean I know Jeff likes Trish. He's definitely attracted to her at the very least and I mean come on, Trish has a great personality. But, you're also right Adam, in that Jeff really has JUST gotten out of a long term relationship and I know that he's still really close to Beth. And Chris, if what you're saying is true, is already in love with Trish and...oh Christ, I don't know." Amy threw her hands up in the air in frustration. They had been sitting in the restaurant for over an hour discussing the love triangle between their friends.
"Has Trish ever expressed any interest in Chris?" Jay asked suddenly.
"What do you mean? Like as a boyfriend?" Amy inquired curiously.
"Well yeah, I mean, cause if she has a thing for Chris too then this whole thing can get even more complicated." "Well," Amy looked at the two of them and fiddled with her napkin awkwardly, "I don't know if I can tell you this..."
"Oh come on Amy, I wasn't supposed to tell you about Chris either!" Adam said indignantly.
"Ok ok, relax. Well, yes...Trish had a sorta crush on him a couple of months ago. But then they became really good friends and she told me that she didn't want to risk that friendship cause she likes him so much. But she definitely was attracted to him..." Amy paused as Adam interjected suddenly.
"She had a crush on him??? And she never told me?? Well I just...oh shit! Chris!" Adam said straightening up in his seat abruptly.
"I thought I saw you guys through the window." Chris said sullenly. "Mind if I join you? I'm starving."
"Sure. Move over Aims." Jay said.
Chris nodded at Amy as he sat down.
"Hey Buddy," Amy said quietly, but she couldn't quite disguise the sympathy in her voice. She looked up guiltily when Adam kicked her under the table.
Chris looked at Adam suspiciously, then shook his head. "You told her didn't you." He stated flatly.
"Umm.." Adam glared at Amy, then looked back at Chris, "Listen man, I was just..."
"No! Damn it Adam. Look Aims, I know Jeff's one of your best friends, so don't worry about it ok! I'm going to get over this."
Amy looked down at her food then said, "Chris, you're my friend too. And honestly, even if Jeff and Trish are dating, it doesn't mean that...you should hide your feelings the way that you have been. I think you should tell her before she gets too deeply involved in this relationship." Amy patted him on the shoulder comfortingly.
Chris shook his head and all of a sudden got up from the table. "I can't sit here with you guys. Look, I'm going to handle this my own way, and I'd appreciate it, if the three of you just forget all about how I feel about her. And Aims, please don't tell Jeff." He turned and began to walk away.
"Wait Chris!" Adam protested.
"Seriously, just forget it." Chris said resolutely before walking out of the door.
"Oh no," Amy said sadly. "Well...we fucked this one up." Jay murmured.
Adam shook his head as he looked at his friends. "What the hell are we going to do?"
"Nothing. You heard him. He wants us to forget about it. If we try to pull anything, it'll only make this worse." Jay declared.
"Yeah Adam, we're just going to have to wait and see. Besides, we're all friends with Jeff and Trish and if it works out for them, we're all going to have to deal with it." Amy rationalized.
"But man, what about Chris?" Adam asked. Neither Amy nor Jay answered him.
Meanwhile, Chris walked out into the warm summer night and hurried to his car. He couldn't stay mad at his friends; he knew that they were only trying to help. It only irritated him that they even discussed the notion of him and Trish together since it made it seem like he even had a chance. The hard rock music playing in his stereo was unbearable and he quickly began changing stations as he pulled onto the highway. A good long drive was all he needed to calm him down.
BACK TO The Date: Jeff gently took Trish's hands in his as they walked into the hotel that had been booked for the wrestlers. Dinner had been about 3 hours of comfortable discussion and he felt like he was really getting to know her.
"So,I guess I'm not really supposed to ask this." He said, breaking the silence.
"What?" She asked, staring up at him inquisitively.
"Well, what did you think? Do you wanna go out again sometime?" Jeff uncertainly.
Trish smiled. He was so adorable when he wasn't sure of what he was saying. "Of course. I had a great time Jeff."
"Really? I'm so glad. I just...ya know sometimes you can't tell if...well ya know." They stopped walking when they got to the door to her room.
"I know. But I did have a great time. And I would definitely like to do this again sometime." Trish said, placing a hand on his cheek.
Jeff covered her hands with his as he leaned down to kiss her on the lips, softly at first, before gradually deepening the kiss. His tongue swept inside of her mouth, gently sweeping, rubbing against hers. She moaned softly, and then he slowly pulled away, kissing the corner of her mouth, then her forehead.
"Sweet dreams Trish." He said quietly against her lips.
"Good Night." She still had her eyes closed and he smiled and shook his head, she was just so sweet.
He hugged her tightly, then said, "I'll see you tomorrow."
She waved at him as he walked towards his own room. She opened the door to her room and was surprised to see that Amy still wasn't inside.
"Hmm..." She thought curiously. "I wonder where she is?"
She grabbed her cell phone from her bag and tried to think of whom she should call first...
"Ooh Chris! Besides I have to talk to him about this bitch ex-girlfriend..." she mumbled to herself as she dialed his cell number. Meanwhile Chris had just walked into the lobby and was headed towards his room when his cell phone went off.
"Oh Christ," He muttered, it was Trish. It could only mean one thing...and the acknowledgment of this date between her and Jeff sent a pain in his heart that he simply couldn't control. But he also knew that he would have to pick up his phone, because he could never deny her anything. And if she needed him...he would always be there. He took a deep breath and pasted a smile on his face, willing the phony happiness to be echo in his voice.
"Hey sweetie." He said as he walked towards the elevator.
"Chris! I'm so glad you picked up! Where are you?" Trish said happily and naively...not knowing the pain she was causing the receiver of the call.
"Erm...I was just on my way up to my room. What's up?" Chris bit back his questions about the date. He simply wasn't sure if he could handle anything more tonight.
"Well, I just got back from my date. I was just wondering if you felt like hanging out. I wanted to talk to you about this thing with your ex- girlfriend too." Trish said concernedly. The tone of his voice, sounded falsely cheerful and she believe that it was all due to the ex girlfriend.
"Oh...well I don't know...I mean..." Chris mumbled in his cell phone trying to think of an acceptable excuse for not having to go up to her room.
"Aw come on Chris. I've barely seen you all day. Come on up, Amy's not here...we can just talk and listen to music or whatever." Trish said earnestly.
Chris sighed quietly. "All...All right...I'll be there in a bit."
"I'll be waiting."
Back at the restaurant:
"So what are we going to do?" Jay asked again suddenly, they had been sitting in the restaurant for several hours now. The conversation had remained mainly on the issue of this unexpected love triangle between their friends, but no one had as of yet made any clear decisions on what should be done.
Amy stared at him blankly. "What do you mean? I thought we just discussed this. There's nothing to do. Jeff and Trish...they have a right to figure each other out and decide for themselves what they want. And Chris...I think we all know that Chris is too nice to ever be an asshole about this and break them up. We're just going to have to lay low and let whatever happens...happen."
Adam slowly nodded halfheartedly. "Yeah, she's right Jay. Nothing to do here but wait it out...damn...I just feel so damn bad for Chris ya know."
"I know man...it's just too fucking bad." Jay shrugged helplessly.
HOTEL ROOM:
"Okay, so tell me once and for all...who is this girl?" Trish asked as she placed a c.d in the stereo inside the armoire of the hotel room.
"She's my ex-girlfriend Jessica," Chris said slowly, avoiding her eyes as she stared at him. Well at least that was the truth, he did once have a girlfriend named Jessica...but he hadn't thought about her since he dumped her when he realized he had been falling for Trish.
"Jessica? I don't think I've ever met her..." Trish said as she sat down on the bed beside him. She stared up at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate on the relationship.
Chris turned away slightly and then tried to change the subject. "Hey, what's this you're playing?"
"Oh umm," Trish said distractedly, "It's Sarah McLachlan. It's a mix my friend made for me a while back."
Chris sat silently and as he listened to the words of the music, he felt a sudden shiver pass through him. He had never been one for the type of music Trish listened to, but the words of the music evoked sudden emotion from him that he couldn't hide.
---What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage,
created you a monster,
broken by the rule of love?
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
--------
He turned around slowly and stared into Trish's eyes.
"I don't know how to let her go..." He said slowly, he knew she thought that he was talking about Jessica, but in reality...he meant her. Trish silently stared back at him sadly, willing him to continue, not knowing that she was wrenching the very confession of a heartbroken man.
---Every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul.
I'm ever swiftly moving,
trying to escape this desire,
the yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
--------
The melancholy notes echoed through the silent room, the heart wrenching words ripping through Chris's senses.
"I feel like I need to be with her...all the time. I know that...that she doesn't know how I feel, but I can't help it. I love her...and I need her." Chris looked away suddenly, unable to meet the sympathetic eyes that looked at him.
"Oh Chris," Trish said quietly, she could feel the sadness coming from Chris...and it hurt her to know that he was in such pain.
---- I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
------------
"She's so much a part of me...she's the best part of me." Chris continued, "I don't know how to tell her...or make her realize that she's the most important thing in my life. I'm half a man without her. And the worst thing is...she cares about someone else. And it's killing me to know that I'm not that man and I can't ever tell her how I feel."
"But Chris," Trish began, but he held his hand up to silence her.
"Just let me say all of this ok?" He said quietly, and she nodded silently, concern etched across her features.
---A glowing ember, burning hot,
AND burning slow.
Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you.
-----
"It scares me that I can feel this strongly about a person without having any validation of her feelings for me. But really, it doesn't matter you know?" Chris shook his head before Trish could say a word, "It doesn't matter how she feels about me because no matter how she does feel, it doesn't lessen this love that I feel." He touched his heart, emphasizing the feelings that he couldn't even put into words.
"I know that she's everything that I'm looking for and that I've dreamed about for so long. I'm a better man for even having her in my life."
------
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
--------
"Now that she's with someone, I feel trapped. Because I love her so much...and her happiness is what's really important to me. And if this man," He swallowed hard, as though he was forcing the words out of his mouth, "if this man, is what will make her happy, then I will stand by and let him have her. It's killing me...deep down inside, it's tearing me apart, but if he's the one that'll make her smile...well then he...he deserves her." He closed his eyes; unable to continue now...Trish was shocked when she saw a single tear roll down his cheek.
---And I have the sense to recognize
But I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.---
"Oh sweetie," She said quietly, reaching and holding on to his hand as he struggled to control his emotions. She hadn't expected this at all...and the sight of Chris, usually so composed, breaking down in front of her broke her heart.
"I'll do it all...I'll be there for her, even though she has no idea how much it hurts me. I'll listen to her talk about how great he is...and I won't say a word about how I feel. I'll always be there for her." Chris whispered finally as the final notes of the song echoed through the quiet room.
"Chris...I..." Trish began, but he stood up abruptly.
"I have to go." He said softly. "Thanks for listening." He smiled down at her as he reached over and touched her face softly, his fingers barely grazing her skin. She gasped softly as she stared up him, his eyes so desolate and bleak that she couldn't speak, couldn't do anything...but watch helplessly as he turned around and walked out of the room.
***This was a really hard chapter for me to write, a lot was pulled from personal experiences...so please let me know what you guys think.
"So anyways, what do you think?" Adam asked expectantly. Jay nodded in agreement as they both stared at Amy.
"Oh man, I don't know you guys, I mean I know Jeff likes Trish. He's definitely attracted to her at the very least and I mean come on, Trish has a great personality. But, you're also right Adam, in that Jeff really has JUST gotten out of a long term relationship and I know that he's still really close to Beth. And Chris, if what you're saying is true, is already in love with Trish and...oh Christ, I don't know." Amy threw her hands up in the air in frustration. They had been sitting in the restaurant for over an hour discussing the love triangle between their friends.
"Has Trish ever expressed any interest in Chris?" Jay asked suddenly.
"What do you mean? Like as a boyfriend?" Amy inquired curiously.
"Well yeah, I mean, cause if she has a thing for Chris too then this whole thing can get even more complicated." "Well," Amy looked at the two of them and fiddled with her napkin awkwardly, "I don't know if I can tell you this..."
"Oh come on Amy, I wasn't supposed to tell you about Chris either!" Adam said indignantly.
"Ok ok, relax. Well, yes...Trish had a sorta crush on him a couple of months ago. But then they became really good friends and she told me that she didn't want to risk that friendship cause she likes him so much. But she definitely was attracted to him..." Amy paused as Adam interjected suddenly.
"She had a crush on him??? And she never told me?? Well I just...oh shit! Chris!" Adam said straightening up in his seat abruptly.
"I thought I saw you guys through the window." Chris said sullenly. "Mind if I join you? I'm starving."
"Sure. Move over Aims." Jay said.
Chris nodded at Amy as he sat down.
"Hey Buddy," Amy said quietly, but she couldn't quite disguise the sympathy in her voice. She looked up guiltily when Adam kicked her under the table.
Chris looked at Adam suspiciously, then shook his head. "You told her didn't you." He stated flatly.
"Umm.." Adam glared at Amy, then looked back at Chris, "Listen man, I was just..."
"No! Damn it Adam. Look Aims, I know Jeff's one of your best friends, so don't worry about it ok! I'm going to get over this."
Amy looked down at her food then said, "Chris, you're my friend too. And honestly, even if Jeff and Trish are dating, it doesn't mean that...you should hide your feelings the way that you have been. I think you should tell her before she gets too deeply involved in this relationship." Amy patted him on the shoulder comfortingly.
Chris shook his head and all of a sudden got up from the table. "I can't sit here with you guys. Look, I'm going to handle this my own way, and I'd appreciate it, if the three of you just forget all about how I feel about her. And Aims, please don't tell Jeff." He turned and began to walk away.
"Wait Chris!" Adam protested.
"Seriously, just forget it." Chris said resolutely before walking out of the door.
"Oh no," Amy said sadly. "Well...we fucked this one up." Jay murmured.
Adam shook his head as he looked at his friends. "What the hell are we going to do?"
"Nothing. You heard him. He wants us to forget about it. If we try to pull anything, it'll only make this worse." Jay declared.
"Yeah Adam, we're just going to have to wait and see. Besides, we're all friends with Jeff and Trish and if it works out for them, we're all going to have to deal with it." Amy rationalized.
"But man, what about Chris?" Adam asked. Neither Amy nor Jay answered him.
Meanwhile, Chris walked out into the warm summer night and hurried to his car. He couldn't stay mad at his friends; he knew that they were only trying to help. It only irritated him that they even discussed the notion of him and Trish together since it made it seem like he even had a chance. The hard rock music playing in his stereo was unbearable and he quickly began changing stations as he pulled onto the highway. A good long drive was all he needed to calm him down.
BACK TO The Date: Jeff gently took Trish's hands in his as they walked into the hotel that had been booked for the wrestlers. Dinner had been about 3 hours of comfortable discussion and he felt like he was really getting to know her.
"So,I guess I'm not really supposed to ask this." He said, breaking the silence.
"What?" She asked, staring up at him inquisitively.
"Well, what did you think? Do you wanna go out again sometime?" Jeff uncertainly.
Trish smiled. He was so adorable when he wasn't sure of what he was saying. "Of course. I had a great time Jeff."
"Really? I'm so glad. I just...ya know sometimes you can't tell if...well ya know." They stopped walking when they got to the door to her room.
"I know. But I did have a great time. And I would definitely like to do this again sometime." Trish said, placing a hand on his cheek.
Jeff covered her hands with his as he leaned down to kiss her on the lips, softly at first, before gradually deepening the kiss. His tongue swept inside of her mouth, gently sweeping, rubbing against hers. She moaned softly, and then he slowly pulled away, kissing the corner of her mouth, then her forehead.
"Sweet dreams Trish." He said quietly against her lips.
"Good Night." She still had her eyes closed and he smiled and shook his head, she was just so sweet.
He hugged her tightly, then said, "I'll see you tomorrow."
She waved at him as he walked towards his own room. She opened the door to her room and was surprised to see that Amy still wasn't inside.
"Hmm..." She thought curiously. "I wonder where she is?"
She grabbed her cell phone from her bag and tried to think of whom she should call first...
"Ooh Chris! Besides I have to talk to him about this bitch ex-girlfriend..." she mumbled to herself as she dialed his cell number. Meanwhile Chris had just walked into the lobby and was headed towards his room when his cell phone went off.
"Oh Christ," He muttered, it was Trish. It could only mean one thing...and the acknowledgment of this date between her and Jeff sent a pain in his heart that he simply couldn't control. But he also knew that he would have to pick up his phone, because he could never deny her anything. And if she needed him...he would always be there. He took a deep breath and pasted a smile on his face, willing the phony happiness to be echo in his voice.
"Hey sweetie." He said as he walked towards the elevator.
"Chris! I'm so glad you picked up! Where are you?" Trish said happily and naively...not knowing the pain she was causing the receiver of the call.
"Erm...I was just on my way up to my room. What's up?" Chris bit back his questions about the date. He simply wasn't sure if he could handle anything more tonight.
"Well, I just got back from my date. I was just wondering if you felt like hanging out. I wanted to talk to you about this thing with your ex- girlfriend too." Trish said concernedly. The tone of his voice, sounded falsely cheerful and she believe that it was all due to the ex girlfriend.
"Oh...well I don't know...I mean..." Chris mumbled in his cell phone trying to think of an acceptable excuse for not having to go up to her room.
"Aw come on Chris. I've barely seen you all day. Come on up, Amy's not here...we can just talk and listen to music or whatever." Trish said earnestly.
Chris sighed quietly. "All...All right...I'll be there in a bit."
"I'll be waiting."
Back at the restaurant:
"So what are we going to do?" Jay asked again suddenly, they had been sitting in the restaurant for several hours now. The conversation had remained mainly on the issue of this unexpected love triangle between their friends, but no one had as of yet made any clear decisions on what should be done.
Amy stared at him blankly. "What do you mean? I thought we just discussed this. There's nothing to do. Jeff and Trish...they have a right to figure each other out and decide for themselves what they want. And Chris...I think we all know that Chris is too nice to ever be an asshole about this and break them up. We're just going to have to lay low and let whatever happens...happen."
Adam slowly nodded halfheartedly. "Yeah, she's right Jay. Nothing to do here but wait it out...damn...I just feel so damn bad for Chris ya know."
"I know man...it's just too fucking bad." Jay shrugged helplessly.
HOTEL ROOM:
"Okay, so tell me once and for all...who is this girl?" Trish asked as she placed a c.d in the stereo inside the armoire of the hotel room.
"She's my ex-girlfriend Jessica," Chris said slowly, avoiding her eyes as she stared at him. Well at least that was the truth, he did once have a girlfriend named Jessica...but he hadn't thought about her since he dumped her when he realized he had been falling for Trish.
"Jessica? I don't think I've ever met her..." Trish said as she sat down on the bed beside him. She stared up at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate on the relationship.
Chris turned away slightly and then tried to change the subject. "Hey, what's this you're playing?"
"Oh umm," Trish said distractedly, "It's Sarah McLachlan. It's a mix my friend made for me a while back."
Chris sat silently and as he listened to the words of the music, he felt a sudden shiver pass through him. He had never been one for the type of music Trish listened to, but the words of the music evoked sudden emotion from him that he couldn't hide.
---What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage,
created you a monster,
broken by the rule of love?
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
--------
He turned around slowly and stared into Trish's eyes.
"I don't know how to let her go..." He said slowly, he knew she thought that he was talking about Jessica, but in reality...he meant her. Trish silently stared back at him sadly, willing him to continue, not knowing that she was wrenching the very confession of a heartbroken man.
---Every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul.
I'm ever swiftly moving,
trying to escape this desire,
the yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
--------
The melancholy notes echoed through the silent room, the heart wrenching words ripping through Chris's senses.
"I feel like I need to be with her...all the time. I know that...that she doesn't know how I feel, but I can't help it. I love her...and I need her." Chris looked away suddenly, unable to meet the sympathetic eyes that looked at him.
"Oh Chris," Trish said quietly, she could feel the sadness coming from Chris...and it hurt her to know that he was in such pain.
---- I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
------------
"She's so much a part of me...she's the best part of me." Chris continued, "I don't know how to tell her...or make her realize that she's the most important thing in my life. I'm half a man without her. And the worst thing is...she cares about someone else. And it's killing me to know that I'm not that man and I can't ever tell her how I feel."
"But Chris," Trish began, but he held his hand up to silence her.
"Just let me say all of this ok?" He said quietly, and she nodded silently, concern etched across her features.
---A glowing ember, burning hot,
AND burning slow.
Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you.
-----
"It scares me that I can feel this strongly about a person without having any validation of her feelings for me. But really, it doesn't matter you know?" Chris shook his head before Trish could say a word, "It doesn't matter how she feels about me because no matter how she does feel, it doesn't lessen this love that I feel." He touched his heart, emphasizing the feelings that he couldn't even put into words.
"I know that she's everything that I'm looking for and that I've dreamed about for so long. I'm a better man for even having her in my life."
------
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
--------
"Now that she's with someone, I feel trapped. Because I love her so much...and her happiness is what's really important to me. And if this man," He swallowed hard, as though he was forcing the words out of his mouth, "if this man, is what will make her happy, then I will stand by and let him have her. It's killing me...deep down inside, it's tearing me apart, but if he's the one that'll make her smile...well then he...he deserves her." He closed his eyes; unable to continue now...Trish was shocked when she saw a single tear roll down his cheek.
---And I have the sense to recognize
But I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.---
"Oh sweetie," She said quietly, reaching and holding on to his hand as he struggled to control his emotions. She hadn't expected this at all...and the sight of Chris, usually so composed, breaking down in front of her broke her heart.
"I'll do it all...I'll be there for her, even though she has no idea how much it hurts me. I'll listen to her talk about how great he is...and I won't say a word about how I feel. I'll always be there for her." Chris whispered finally as the final notes of the song echoed through the quiet room.
"Chris...I..." Trish began, but he stood up abruptly.
"I have to go." He said softly. "Thanks for listening." He smiled down at her as he reached over and touched her face softly, his fingers barely grazing her skin. She gasped softly as she stared up him, his eyes so desolate and bleak that she couldn't speak, couldn't do anything...but watch helplessly as he turned around and walked out of the room.
***This was a really hard chapter for me to write, a lot was pulled from personal experiences...so please let me know what you guys think.