Chapter 11
"First we can go to dinner....or we can skip it if you want...I can deal with just the karaoke or whatever cause I mean...it would be so much fun! So do you guys want to come with?" Trish asked excitedly. Adam, Jay and Amy looked at each other confusedly.
"I'm sorry again?" Adam asked.
"Karaoke! Tonight! I just think this'll be a great way to get everyone together."
"And by everyone....you mean us...here in this room, and you, Jeff and Chris?" Amy waited expectantly though she knew what the answer would be.
Trish frowned. "Yes, haven't you guys been listening? You guys, Jeff, Chris and me...all out together...what's wrong with that?" She asked rather deflatedly.
"Oh nothing....nothing!" Amy said assuredly, but cast a worried glance at Adam and Jay. "Chris is coming right?"
"Well he said he would think about it but I'm pretty sure he'll go."
Jay cleared his throat. "Then we'll all...meet up with you later."
"Okay, great! I'll see you guys!" Trish said as she turned and walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, Adam and Jay turned to Amy.
"You think he's going to go?" Jay asked skeptically.
Adam shrugged. "Guess we'll see."
"What the hell happened last night Adam?" Amy asked.
"I found Chris...downstairs at the bar listening to some music and wallowing in self misery. Basically, he felt like shit, and didn't know if he could handle this crap."
"I almost slipped and told Trish last night." Amy murmured biting her lip guiltily.
Jay turned to her, his eyes wide with surprise. "Are you serious??"
"Yeah, but I turned it around and made her feel guilty...basically told her that she just shouldn't flaunt her relationship with Jeff in front of Chris."
"Why didn't you just tell her?" Adam asked frustratedly.
"Are you kidding me? And what would that do exactly? Get me in the middle of this he said, she said bullshit. No way! Chris will tell her when he's good and ready." Amy said resolutely.
Several hours later:
"Hey Chris! Chris!" Trish called out to his retreating back.
Chris stopped in mid stride and closed his eyes. He had been hoping to avoid her and the inevitable invitation to go out tonight.
"Chris?" She asked tentatively.
"Oh hey you. What's goin on?" He asked nonchalantly.
"We were supposed to go out tonight...remember?" She said looking up at his uncertainly.
"Oh yeah. I just...umm I thought we were all going to meet at the hotel." He lied uneasily.
Trish smiled. "That's so silly. Adam and Jay are at the parking lot already and they said they would give you a ride. Tonight...it's Karaoke night!"
"Karaoke huh? I'm not really sure I'm in the mood Trish."
"Come on, it'll be fun. I promise you...it'll be a great time. Please come Chris." She pleaded.
Chris stared down at those deep brown eyes and felt a tug at his heart. He just couldn't say no to this girl.
He sighed, "All right. I'll go." He finally said.
"Yes! Okay, so I have to wait for Jeff, but I'll see you guys over there. I told Adam where it is so he'll know where it is." Trish said excitedly. Chris smiled briefly at her then turned around to walk to the parking lot.
At the Karaoke Bar:
"Dude, where the hell did Trish dig this place up?" Adam asked as they entered the dimly lit room. Dozens of people were littered around a small stage where a bald man was belting out "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
Chris couldn't help but laugh as at the guy started to dance around.
"Maybe this won't be so bad." He mumbled under his breath.
Jay looked at him. "Anytime you want to leave Chris, just let us know. Adam and I devised a strategy to get you out of here with no problem whatsoever." He nodded assuredly.
Chris raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. "And what exactly would this strategy be?"
"Well, you just nudge me. And I'll get up to make a "phone call" and then I'll walk away and come back and pretend that Denise has some problem and I'm going to go back to the hotel and talk to her. Adam will stay here and you'll offer to drive with me. Easy."
Chris shook his head in disbelief, he couldn't believe that his friends were so concerned about him that they had already planned an escape route. "Thanks guys...but I think I'm going to try to make it through this one. It's not going to be the only time I'm going to have to hang out with both of them." He shrugged as he sighed.
"Well get ready cause here they come..." Adam whispered when he spotted Amy, Trish and Jeff walking in.
Trish tugged at Jeff and pointed to where Chris, Adam and Jay were standing. "There they are!" She said eagerly.
Jeff looked up and saw Chris there and frowned. He hadn't expected him to be there but then looking down at the happy expression on Trish's face, knew that he couldn't comment on it. Hell...both him and Chris were just going to have to act normal around her.
"Hey guys!" Amy smiled at them as she walked over. She looked pointedly at Chris and heaved a sigh of relief when he offered a small smile towards her. She had been afraid that he wouldn't be so eager to see her.
"Hey Aims." Everyone said simultaneously.
Chris met a waitress' eye and nodded his head for a round of beers for the table. He supposed that alcohol could only help this situation.
As they all sat down, a waitress came with the beers and several books to choose music from.
"You guys isn't this fun!" Trish said happily staring across the table at the three guys. Each offered her a wan smile. Jeff placed a possessive arm around Trish's shoulders and looked at Chris with a raised eyebrow. Trish didn't notice the exchange, but having promised herself earlier that evening not to act like a couple with Jeff, stealthily shook off Jeff's arm as she turned towards Amy.
Adam and Jay noticed and looked at each other in surprise.
"Aim's what song do you want to do? Let's do a duet!"
"Sure thing Trish." Amy mumbled looking down at her book.
"Babe, we've got to do the Pat Benator song!" Trish said excitedly, pointing down on the wrinkled pages of the karaoke booklet with a shiny pink fingertip.
"We Belong!" Amy yelled, before running up to the dj booth to sign up.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Chris said sulkily, rolling his eyes when Amy ran back and Trish clapped her hands excitedly as they waited for the song to come on.
"Oh come on Chris! It'll be fun!"
"I hate that song!" He murmured stubbornly. Trish walked over and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, much to his chagrin. Jeff, unbeknownst to Trish, couldn't help but frown at the familiar contact between the two friends.
"It'll be funny listening to us try to do Pat. And since you, Mr. "I'm in a Band, so I'm better than you", are here, you're just going to have to deal with it. Oh my god...I'm so ridiculously excited about this song! Ooh, we're up!" Trish squealed, and she grabbed Amy's arm as they bounded up the stage together.
We belong, we belong to the light
Many times I've tried to tell you
Many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you
Cut my feelings to the bone
The lights shining down on Trish's face illuminated her flaxen hair and her angelic looking face. Chris couldn't help but feel rather sad as the words of the nostalgic 80's song, conjured up his feelings. His concentration was so much on the words of the song that it didn't even bother him that Amy and Trish were basically butchering the song with their interspersing giggles and shrieks.
Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
He really didn't want to leave her. The idea of Trish and him as a couple had so consumed his mind in the past year or so, that the very notion of abandoning it completely. But he wanted her to be happy. Hence, he had to stand aside and let her discover whatever it was between her and Jeff. No matter how much it hurt him, she should and would always be first to him. We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We belong, we belong
We belong together
Maybe it's a sign of weakness
When I don't know what to say
Maybe I just wouldn't know
What to do with my strength anyway
Have we become a habit
Do we distort the facts
Now there's no looking forward
Now there's no turning back
When you say
Was it really the idea of abandoning his dreams of Trish that hurt him? Or was it just that he wanted some kind of assurance of his feelings. Was he truly addicted to the feeling, or being in love? But no, it wasn't simply love. It was that he felt that Trish was an extension of him. He loved her for everything that she was. For her intelligence and her warm heart. Her beauty, of course, but it wasn't even about that. She made him laugh and feel like a better person. Wasn't that what was important? So basically, by trying to forget the way that he felt about her, he would essentially be cutting off a part of him. That part of his heart that had glorified her for so long and had held on to the hope that one day, she would be his.
Close your eyes and try to sleep nowClose your eyes and try to dream
Clear your mind and do your best
To try and wash the palette clean
We can't begin to know it
How much we really care
I hear your voice inside me
I see your face everywhere
Still you say
It would never really be over. Somewhere in the back of his mind, would always be an image of what could have been. But for now he would let go. He would let, whatever it was that stood between them, be a part of space, that never ending void that would go on forever, just like his love for her would. She would have done it for him, because that was the kind of person she was. It was the least he could do. At the very least she was his friend, and it was only greed that made him want so much more. He stared into the beer in his hand, watching the label quiver and distort as tears came to his eyes.
We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We belong, we belong
We belong together
He blinked away the tears, slyly wiping them away, the knowing that he couldn't hold it in, he simply laughed loudly, holding his stomach, pretending that the performance had reduced him to tears with laughter.
"There now, that wasn't so bad was it? You just had to take it all in and.....oh my god, I cannot believe you laughed that much!" Trish yelled indignantly when she made it back to the table and saw Chris wiping away tears.
"Yeah...it wasn't so bad." Chris said, smiling through his tears. He reached out and tucked an errant piece of hair from Trish's face. They stared at each other, smiling, hers out of true happiness that Chris seemed to be enjoying himself, his, because, well, he simply couldn't help but smile when he saw her face.
"I thought you were great baby." Jeff's voice interrupted the warm, friendly glow that had surrounded them. He wrapped a proprietary arm around Trish's waist and pulled her between his legs, tucking his chin on her shoulder as she leaned against him.
Chris watched the two of them and smiled sadly. "Right. It wasn't so bad."
Author's note: This story will be done soon damn it! I promise! I've already written the ending so I know who she'll end up with. Just a few more chapters to fill in some gaps!