"Something's lost."

By: Dreamer

Chapter One

"How it came to be."

By: Dreamer

I sit down and think after we got into fight. I open up my beer bottle and light a smoke after the bottle's been open. I take a long drag and watch the embers glow bright in this dark room, my hideout from the world. I start thinking about everything she's ever told me, truth is I don't think she ever wanted me around.

I screamed at her for some stupid shit and then she told me to fuck off and I stormed out the door, pissed off at everything. I remember the look of pure rage in her eyes and from the looks of it, there was something else there. Something that I couldn't find, much less see. So I left, was that the smart thing? Or could I have been dumb enough to let something good go away.

I returned after a few days, feeling worse than what I did when I left. But nonetheless happy to be home. Shortly after I got there I heard the slamming of a suitcase. Damn my luck, I thought and dashed to her room. We have been dating the better part of the year and we just weren't really comfortable in taking a step in our relationship and I respected her for that. I came to her room and leaned on the doorjamb and crossed my arms over my chest. Without even looking at me she mutters something in German... it was so sexy to hear talk in her native tongue... but she wasn't doing it trying to seduce me. No, it carried a pissed off tone to it. I wanted to cringe at it, but I kept a steely look on my face, I was mimicking that bastard.

"I'm leaving as you can see," she said without looking at me and hauling her only suitcase off the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked my voice passive of all feelings like I showed while I was out on the streets.

"I'm leaving you," she snapped and with that she had left my life forever.

After that I kept myself locked up in my work and when I went home I began lifting my weights none-stop, then when my body could no longer handle it, I stopped and took an ice cold shower.

One day for some odd reason, I left like breaking the habit that I had started over the last year. Every chick in town wanted me because of my well-built body... but I turned them down, there was only one person I wanted but I could never have. I walked up to this new dinner that was recently built on the old plot of the Maxwell Church, I'm the only one who even remembered what was there a long time ago.

I walked in and sat down at the nearest table and ordered a beer. I lifted the bottle up to my lips and froze. I saw her, the only woman I ever cared about. I threw down some money on the table and left. Damn it, I scolded myself. Out of all the fucking restaurants on this Colony... why that one? I wasn't quite ready to face her after just a year of her leaving me. I wasn't going to try and win her back, she was the one who left me.

Maybe to change the past, I went to a hair stylist and got a hair cut. Not a trim by any means. I had them shave my hair until it was four inches in the back and two inches on the top. I had her leave a small rat-like tail so I could still have it braided and gave my hair up for the kids who needed it the most. Now when I look into the mirror I can't even recognize myself. I needed to start over, anew, and this how I planned to do it.