A Little Dramatic Irony #53: Christmas Time is Here, by Golly!

"Let me see!"

"No!" Rory cried as she held the box she was wrapping away from her mother. "It isn't Christmas yet. No advanced viewings!"

Lorelai pouted and sat down. "It's not fair."

"You never let me see what you get me for Christmas," Rory pointed out.

"That's because I don't know," Lorelai claimed. "Santa is mysterious in his ways, remember?"

"I stopped believe in Santa when I was five, remember?" Rory asked. "You sat me on his lap at the mall, and his beard fell off."

Lorelai sighed. "Your childhood was ruined and it was all my fault."

"Darn tootin," Rory agreed.

"So, what did you get for Jess?" Lorelai asked.

Rory pursed her lips. "Nothing yet... I'm having such a hard time figuring out what to get him! I swear, he's the hardest person to shop for."

"Show up naked on his doorstep," Lorelai suggested, but then stopped. "Did I actually just tell you to show up naked on Jess's doorstep as his Christmas present?"

Rory nodded and blushed slightly. "You did."

"I must be loosing my mind," Lorelai muttered. She got up. "I'm going to Luke's for coffee."

Rory smirked as she kept wrapping the present. "Uh-huh."

"What?!" Lorelai cried. "Just for coffee!"

"Mhm," Rory replied, her smirk turning into a smile. "Coffee."

"Coffee," Lorelai agreed.

"Go," Rory ordered. "I have to leave soon, anyways. Jess and I are gonna go pick up Jimmy, Sasha and Lily at the airport."

"Come with me, then you and Jess can leave from the diner," Lorelai pointed out.

"I need to finish wrapping," Rory replied. "I need to Lorelai-proof this box."

"It is Lorelai-proof!"

Rory crossed her arms. "You can still get into it."

"Let me try," Lorelai countered. "I'll show you I can't!"

Rory got up to stop her from reaching for the box. "No touchy! You'll run off with it."

Lorelai gave her an insulted look. "I will not!"

"You will. You've done it before."

"I promise, I will not run off with the box," Lorelai said calmly.

"Go get coffee," Rory ordered.

Lorelai stared longingly at the box sitting on the table behind Rory.

Rory groaned, grabbed both their coats, shoved her mother's into her arms, and pushed her to the door. "We're going to Luke's."

Lorelai grinned. "I'm glad you see things my way."

The plane was late.

Very late.

Jess sighed and slumped back on the stuff airport bench.

"They'll be here soon," Rory reassured him as she sat down next to him. She held a to-go cup out to him.

He smirked at her. "You found coffee."

"I did."

"God, it's like a sixth sense," Jess muttered, taking the cup gratefully and took a sip.

"All part of growing up with Lorelai Gilmore," Rory replied. "Did your mom teach you to sniff out anything when you were growing up?"

Jess shrugged. "Her house keys. She never remembered them... and beer. She liked beer."

"She sure did."

They looked up to see Jimmy standing in front of them.

Jess got to his feet and shook his father's hand. "Hi."

"Hey," Jimmy replied. "Sorry. Sasha had to go to the bathroom, and Lily ran into a pillar."

"What?" Rory asked, getting up to stand next to Jess.

Jimmy shrugged. "She's not used to this airport, and she was reading and walking... it happens."

Jess smirked. "Amateur."

"Jerk," Lily snapped from behind Jimmy.

"How was the flight?"

"Crap," Jimmy replied. "Cramped... smelly..."

"Loud," Sasha added, coming into view. "That baby behind us was loud."

Jimmy sighed. "Can we get outta here?"

Jess nodded and got to his feet. "Let's go."

"We're back!" Rory called as they entered the house.

Lorelai rushed down the stairs and smiled. "Hi! I'm Lorelai Gilmore."

Jimmy nodded. "Hi. We met briefly last year."

Lorelai nodded and shook his hand. "Right."

Sasha held out her own hand to Lorelai. "I'm Sasha."

"Lorelai Gilmore," Lorelai replied with a smile, taking her hand after letting go of Jimmy's. "It's nice to meet you both."

Sasha gave Lily a push forward. "This is my daughter, Lily."

"Hi, Lily," Lorelai smiled down at her.

She nodded, but didn't look up from her book.

"You've got one of those, too, huh?"

Sasha nodded and wrapped an arm around Jess, who raised an eyebrow at her. "We've got two."

Jess rolled his eyes.

"Luke!!"

Luke walked out from the kitchen to find Liz leaning against the diner counter. "Hey!"

She smiled. "Hey, big brother."

"You just got in?"

Liz nodded. "Just got in. TJ is parking the car."

Luke tried to smile. "Good..."

"Be nice," Liz ordered.

"Only if Jess is nice," Luke grumbled.

"Luke," she warned.

He sighed. "Fine."

"Mom, be nice."

Emily sighed as Lorelai hung her coat up on the rack by the front door. "Why wouldn't I be nice?"

"Because you don't have a lot in common with Jess's family," Lorelai replied slowly. "Just... be polite."

Richard smiled as he entered the house. "Hello, Lorelai."

"Hi, Dad," Lorelai replied. She held out her hand.

He slid it off and handed it to her. "Thank you."

Lorelai nodded and hung it up. "So. We're all going to go in there and act like normal, civil people."

"Dammit, TJ! Keep your hands outta the spaghetti sauce!" Jess yelled from the kitchen.

Emily raised an eyebrow at Lorelai, who sighed.

"I invited you so you wouldn't be surprised by anything that they say or do at the ball," Lorelai said.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, Lorelai," Richard reassured.

"Jesus Christ, Liz, get outta my way!"

"Go to hell, Jimmy!"

The three Gilmores stayed silent.

Dinner was eaten without much incident, and the occupants of the house spread out. Rory, Sasha and Lily went digging through the books in Rory's room, and Liz and Luke were talking in the kitchen, but the rest of the group were gathered in the living room.

Emily stared at the half-finished gown adorning Lorelai's mannequin. "Why does it have to be brown?"

"You look good in brown," Lorelai replied as she mended a seem on the dress. "Don't think of it as brown... think of it as... Auburn, or Autumn."

"Feces," Jess muttered.

Lorelai turned a glare on him. "One more word out of you and I'll kick you so hard in the butt your feces won't be regular for a week."

"That's disgusting," Emily commented, obviously revolted.

"I thought it was funny," Jimmy said, walking in and sitting next to Jess with a beer.

Jess gave him a sideways glace. "What's that?"

"Nothing."

Jess snatched the beer from him.

"Hey!" Jimmy cried.

"You're an idiot," Jess told him.

"Give it," Jimmy ordered.

"Sasha!" Jess yelled. "Jimmy's trying to drink beer again!"

Sasha walked out into the living room and glared at Jimmy.

He cringed. "Hey, Sash..."

"No beer, Jimmy," she ordered.

"I don't see what the problem is," Emily muttered. "A grown man wants beer."

"A grown man with heart problems," Lorelai pointed out.

Emily stayed silent for a moment. "...Oh... I'd forgotten." She sighed, changing the subject. "You know Jess and his father don't look at all alike."

"So?" Lorelai asked. "I don't look like you."

"You do so," Emily objected. "You have my nose; and we have the same hair consistency."

"Okay, Mom," Lorelai nodded.

Liz walked out into the living room and spotted Jess, beer to his lips. "Jess Benjamin Mariano! You put that beer down!" she cried.

Jess put the beer down after a long swig and sighed.

"Benjamin?!" Rory cried from her room. She rushed out and stood in front of her boyfriend with a grin on her face. "Boyfriend?!"

Jess shifted uncomfortably.

Rory snickered at him.

Jess glared at Jimmy.

"Hey," Jimmy defended. "I gave you your first name. The middle name was all Liz."

Jess turned his glared to his mother. "Shoulda known."

Liz gave him a brilliant smile and waved before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Both men rolled their eyes.

Rory merely laughed out loud and rushed back into her room. "Benjamin!"

Jess sighed as he unlocked the door to his apartment in New Haven. He swung it open and flipped on the lights.

Jimmy looked around as his son led them in. "Not bad."

Jess nodded. "Thanks."

Sasha looked around and nodded. "It's not as messy as I thought it'd be."

Jess rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna crash here tonight, too... so you guys can have the fold-out couch, and I've got a sleeping bag for Lily."

Lily gave a bitter expression. "How come I get the floor?"

Sasha raised blinked at her. "Why do you think."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"We meet back here in two hours. I don't wanna have to come looking for any of you."

They were standing in the mall, ready to shop. Luke didn't even get his last words out before the entire group dispersed into the wild atmosphere.

Christmas shopping.

Luke hated Christmas shopping.

He hated it with a passion, but he really needed to get gifts. For Jess; For Liz; For Lorelai...

Lorelai.

He sighed.

It was going to be a long, long day.

Rory sighed as she sifted through the bookstore. She just couldn't find a decent gift for Jess.

Until she tripped over a discarded book on the ground.

She looked down and grinned at the paperback.

picked it up.

Lorelai smiled as she purchased her gifts.

He roamed the mall, carrying the heavy bags filled with his purchases. A present for Liz; a present for Jimmy and Sasha; some books for Lily; new boxing gloves for Jamie; a couple of video games for Gloria; a nice set of picture frames for Sofia; the new Buffet CD for Luke.

He was on his way to the jewelry store to find something nice for Rory.

Something nice.

He walked in and wandered around, studying the glittering pieces through their glass cases. He glimpsed an opal star on a silver chain. It was nice. It was her birthstone.

Score.

He had it boxed and wrapped, and bagged, and he was about to leave.

About to.

It caught his eye out of nowhere.

Okay, not out of nowhere.

It was small. Thin. Perfect. One diamond set in a plain silver band.

Huh.