Chapter Four
"Still frame."
By: Evil Clown
Song by: Trapt
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Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down,
This picture's frozen and I can't get out (of here)
Believe me, I'm just as lost as you
And every time I think I've finally made it
I learn I'm farther away than I've ever been before
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It's only a matter of time now before the baby's born. But ever since I saw him at the dinner that Heero and I have built, I can't stop thinking about him. He was my first love, but he was the one who fucked up everything. But with everything that we've done is going through my head in pictures. But I can't make them stop, I can't stop that wound that has been reopened. So it's just confusing the hell out of me. Am I in love with Duo or Heero? I can't make up my mind. I reach down and feel the little one inside me kick. I can't just pick up and leave and start all over again, I just can't. It was way too hard to the first time and it'll be even harder this time. I'm so confused.
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I see the clock and it's ticking away, and the hourglass empty
What the fuck do I have to say
Keep it inside the image portrayed
I think I'm drifting away from the people I really need
A small reflection on when we were younger
We had it all figured 'cause we had everything covered
Now we're older it's getting harder to see
What this future will hold for us, what the fuck are we going to be?
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I fall to the ground in pain, the clocks time has come. Whether or not I want to, in a couple of days I'm going to be a mother. What the fuck do I have to say? I'm happy that I can share this joy with Heero as he comes to my side and rushes me into the car to take me to the hospital. But I'll hold a picture of Duo close to my heart and never forget him.
When we get to the hospital, the doctors say something has gone terribly wrong with the baby and they have to do an emergency c-section. The doctor's assure me that everything will be alright... but how can I believe it when Heero is about to kill them with just glaring at them?
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I'm afraid I'm falling farther away (from where I want to be)
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They place the mask over my face to make me sleep but as I close my eyes, I feel as though I'm falling and I'll never be able to stand up again. Is this the end? Is this what it is like?