A Little Dramatic Irony #54: Big Balls

He sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed, wearing his tux with a velvet ring box in hand.

To ask... or not to ask?"

T'was the question indeed.

"Jess?!"

He looked up at his closed bedroom door. "Yeah!"

"We're ready to go!" Sasha's voice called.

"Be right out!" He replied. "He sighed and stared down at the box another moment before placing it in the drawer of the night stand just as the door opened.

"Hey," Jimmy said. "Let's go."

Jess nodded and got up. "Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You gonna say anything other than 'yeah'?" Jimmy asked.

Jess shook his head, and Jimmy shoved him out the door.

Emily smiled as she looked in the mirror. She wore the dress Lorelai had made for her, her hair done up nicely. "Well... I must say, you've outdone yourself with this dress."

Lorelai beamed. "I know." She looked down at her own sleek, red dress and grinned more. "Rory! Come in here and tell Mommy she looks pretty!"

Emily rolled her eyes.

Rory walked in, wearing her own silver gown. "Mommy looks pretty," she smiled.

Lorelai smiled back. "Rory looks pretty, too."

Emily sighed. "Yes, yes we're all very pretty. Come on. We have things to take care of before going to the ball room."

Lorelai sighed. "Goody... where's Dad?"

"He's already there," Emily called as they followed her down the hall. "Making sure things go well."

Rory shrugged at her mother as they walked down the hall.

Liz snickered and straightened out Luke's tie. "My big brother looks so handsome."

Luke rolled his eyes.

"She's not wrong," TJ interjected, straightening out his own tux. "Ya look hot."

"Jeez," Luke muttered. It was times like these that he really missed Jess.

He mentally slapped himself for thinking that.

"How do I look?" Liz asked, twirling in the pink evening gown she wore.

"Like a big wad of chewing gum," Luke smirked.

"Hey!" Liz laughed, smacking him lightly on the arm.

"A beautiful wad of chewing gum," TJ added.

Liz rolled her eyes.

"Go change."

"What?!"

Jess glared at his best friend. "Go change."

"Change into what?" Jamie demanded. "This is what I got!"

Jess growled. "You're not getting into the car until you put on something else!"

Gloria sighed. She, Sofia and Jamie had met up with Jess and company outside of his apartment complex in New Haven. She smoothed out her slinky, purple dress.

Jamie had opted for something a little less classy.

Namely, a neon pink tuxedo.

Sofia shook her head. "Jess, we don't have the time for this."

"Listen, if he shows up like that, Emily Gilmore is gonna kill me," Jess snapped. "Not a pleasant death. I've heard the stories."

"I doubt she'll lose face at the ball," Sasha said. "We need to leave."

Jess glared at Jamie. "You better be lucky this tux is rented. Otherwise, I'd be kickin' your ass right now." With that, he shoved himself into the driver's seat of his car and slammed the door.

Jamie blew him a kiss, and got into the back.

Sasha sighed as they stood outside the entrance of the ballroom in Hartford. "Inspection time!"

Jimmy, Jess and Lily lined up for her scrutiny. Sasha began to straighten them out a little.

"Hi!!"

Jess sighed heavily. "Why did I choose to put myself through this?" he muttered.

"Because you're in idiot," Luke replied, sauntering up to him. "Nice tux."

Jess glared.

Jimmy shifted awkwardly. "Liz."

She nodded. "Jimmy."

"Jimmy," TJ repeated.

"TJ," Jimmy acknowledged.

"Liz," Sasha nodded.

"Sasha," Liz muttered.

Jess rolled his eyes and turned to Luke. "Luke."

"Jess," Luke nodded.

"What about me?" Lily snapped.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't count?" Jess smirked.

She pinched him on the hand.

"Ow!"

Gloria rushed up to them, hopping on one leg, trying to get a heel onto the other foot. "Sorry! Had to... take care of something really fast!"

Jamie walked up casually behind her, a smirk plastered onto his face.

Jess grew horrified. "You... you had a quickie?!"

Gloria blushed, and Jamie shrugged, his smirk growing wider.

Jess shook his head. "I hate you both... where's Sofia?"

"She went in already," Jimmy replied. "She doesn't wanna wait around out here while we act like assholes."

"I don't blame her," Jess snapped. "Let's get this over with."

"Christopher."

He nodded uncomfortably as Sherry hung off of his arm. "Hey, Lor."

"Hi, Dad," Rory said, crossing her arms.

"Hey," Chris smiled a little. "You guys look great."

"Thanks," they both muttered.

Sherry smiled. "How have you guys been?"

"Fine," Lorelai nodded. "Perfectly- Luke!!" She rushed over to where Luke had just walked in and dragged him over to Chris, Sherry and Rory. "You guys have to meet Luke!"

"I've met Luke," Chris replied, a puzzled expression playing on his face.

"I haven't," Sherry said. She smiled wider. "Hi, Luke! You must be Lorelai's date!"

Luke cleared his throat. "Yeah, that would be me."

Rory sighed and looked around. She spotted Jess standing awkwardly by the door, and smiled. "I'll be back in a bit." She walked away from them and up to Jess. "Hi."

He smirked at her. "Hi."

"You look great," she told him with a grin, smoothing out the arm of his sleeve.

"So do you," he nodded. "That's some dress."

"A Lorelai original," Rory nodded. She looked around and spotted Jamie. "Oh... wow..."

Jess gritted his teeth. "He's getting his ass kicked when we get home tonight."

She giggled. "That's a very pink tuxedo."

Jess sighed and spotted Emily eyeing Jamie disapprovingly. "Oh, great..."

"Don't worry about it," Rory told him, taking his hand. "Don't worry about anything, just... try and have fun."

"Are you having fun?"

She sighed. "Well..."

"Let's go."

"Jess..."

"Come on, we'll get outta here," Jess urged.

"No," Rory told him firmly.

He sighed. "Fine."

"Lane...Lane the tux is choking me..."

Lane sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Brian, you're not choking."

"I am!"

Dave sighed and wrapped an arm his girlfriend. "This is really nice."

Zach nodded at them and looked around a little. He spotted a couple of girls their age in a corner and smirked. "I... I might not be back." With that, he walked off.

Lane rolled her eyes.

Dave smiled at her. "May I have this dance?"

Lane sighed and let her own smile show through. "Of course."

"Jamie, don't," Gloria snapped.

Jamie smirked as he dumped a large amount of alcohol from a flask into the large, crystal punch bowl. "Come on, Gloria, have some fun."

"Y'know, every time you do this, it never turns out well," Gloria chided.

Jamie grinned and kissed her on the cheek. "You worry too much." He promptly took a glass and filled it with punch. He took a long swig and smiled broadly.

Emily jumped back as she opened up the coat room door to put another couple of guests' jackets in. "Oh!"

Lily looked up from her book. "Hi."

"Hello..." Emily replied warily as she hung up the jackets. "What are you doing in here?"

"Reading."

Emily nodded slowly and walked out. "Richard?"

He turned as his wife walked up to him. "What is it, Emily?"

"Did you know that Lily is reading in the coat closet?"

"Really?" Richard asked interestedly. "What book?"

Emily rolled her eyes.

"Ah, Rory. Wonderful to see you."

"Hi, Gram," Rory smiled politely as her great-grandmother walked over to her with her cane. "How are you?"

"Well, thank you," Trix nodded. "I trust you are equally of good health?"

"I am."

"Splendid. How is Yale?"

Rory nodded. "Going very well."

"You're still living on campus?"

"I come home on weekends," Rory informed her.

"Nonsense," Trix protested. "A girl your age should be participating in weekend activities! Meeting new people!"

"My boyfriend spends his weekends in Stars Hollow, Gram," Rory replied. "That's our time together."

"Oh... I see... and who is this boyfriend?"

Rory bit her lip. "Well... he's..."

At that moment, Jess and Gloria walked past, carrying Jamie between them.

Gloria smiled brilliantly. "Hey, Ror!"

Rory blushed. "Hi..."

"Too much punch," Jess informed her. "He's got no one to blame but himself."

"My word," Trix snapped. "That inebriated young man isn't your boyfriend, is he?!"

"Oh!" Rory cried. "No. It's the young man holding him up."

Jess nodded. "Mrs. Gilmore."

"Gram, that's Jess," Rory said hopefully. "His cousin Gloria, and his best friend, Jamie."

Trix eyed them warily. "I see..."

Sofia walked over at that point and rolled her eyes. "Oh, just let him drop."

"Yes, Grandma," the two Marianos said at once, and let Jamie fall to the floor.

Trix raised an eyebrow at Sofia. "Hello."

Sofia nodded tersely. "Hello."

"Gram," Rory introduced. "This is Jess's grandmother, Sofia Mariano. Sofia, this is my great-grandmother, Lorelai Gilmore."

Sofia gave her a confused look. "Another Lorelai."

"It is a family name," Trix told her.

"Quite conceited to name children after family members who are still alive," Sofia commented.

Rory flinched slightly, and Jess raised an eyebrow at his grandmother.

"I beg your pardon?" Trix asked, slightly taken aback.

Sofia smirked and nodded. "It was a pleasure meeting you... Jess, Gloria, take Jamie outside, please."

Both of them nodded and lifted Jamie off the floor again. Sofia followed them as they walked outside.

"What was that?" Jess asked his grandmother.

"I don't take kindly old ninnies with too much money," Sofia replied. "And don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

"Never said that," Jess shrugged. "Just... wow. And the Gilmores were worried about my behavior."

They stopped as they neared the side of the building, and they set Jamie down.

"I'm gonna go back in," Gloria told them.

Jess nodded. "I should, too."

"I want to talk to you," Sofia told him, holding him back as Gloria went inside.

"What?"

"How hard do you think it was for Richard Gilmore to make a living when he got out of college?" Sofia asked.

Jess shrugged. "Not hard... why?"

"How hard do you think it was for Frankie to make a living when he got out of high school?"

"Not easy... what's this-"

"The Gilmores may have a lot of money," Sofia cut him off. "But that doesn't make them better than we are."

"I know," Jess replied, scratching the back of his head.

Sofia smiled and straightened his hair out a little. "Don't let that old bat intimidate you."

"Not a chance," Jess smirked. "You're scarier than she is."

She smacked him lightly, and they headed back inside.

Luke shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks, and glanced at Lorelai, who was smiling at the dance floor.

"Lane and Dave are so cute," she said, watching the couple dance. "It's so great that he came back from California."

Luke nodded. "They're good together."

Lorelai turned to him. "Any chance of my dragging your butt out there?"

Luke nodded a little. "I may be persuaded."

She smiled wider and took his hand, pulling him onto the dance floor.

Rory grinned as she watched Luke and Lorelai start dancing. She glanced around and, but didn't see Jess.

It wasn't all that surprising.

She glanced out one of the large windows to see him standing out on the grass, a ways away from the building, smoking a cigarette.

"Rory!"

She turned and smiled. "Hey, Gloria, having fun?"

Gloria grinned and nodded. "Oh, yeah."

"Where did you guys stash Jamie?" Rory asked.

"The side of the building," Gloria replied. "He'll come to eventually. I think before he does, Jess and I are gonna steal his clothes."

Rory snickered. "Someone should, that tux is awful."

Gloria gave a giggle and wrapped an arm around the other girl. "Don't tell Jess, but... I picked it out."

Rory laughed loudly and shoved the other girl a little. "Evil!"

"Damn right!"

"Your secret's safe with me."

"Thanks," Gloria nodded. "When you see Jess, tell him to find me for the Jamie torture."

"Will-do," Rory nodded back.

Gloria gave her a playful shove and then disappeared into the crowd of guests.

Rory glanced out the window again, and smiled.

"Where's Rory going?" Emily asked, watching her granddaughter head for the door. "She isn't leaving, is she?"

Richard smiled and took his wife's hand. "You worry too much. May I have this dance?"

Emily sighed and smiled a little. "I suppose."

Rory walked out onto the grass, careful of her dress. "Hey."

He turned, stubbing out his cigarette. "Hey."

"What are you doing out here?"

Jess shrugged. "Just getting some air."

She smiled a little and walked to stand next to him. "You okay?"

He nodded, putting an arm around her. "You look nice."

She smiled, looping her own arm around his waist. "So do you... the tux looks great."

"I hate it."

"You'll live," she snickered.

He smirked out at the night. "I will." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a book.

"Jess!"

"What?" Jess snapped with a smirk.

She pushed him to the ground, and he laughed a little, pulling her down with him.