Shallow Brock
Disclaimer- As much as I wish I did, I don't own pokemon, Shallow Hal, or any of the characters in this story. It's just a fanfic! I didn't steal! So don't sue me! Please!
A/N : This story explains a lot...such as why Brock has no eyes and why he isn't attracted to Misty or Jessie. It's a parody of the movie 'Shallow Hal', but if you haven't seen the movie it will still probably make sense.
Ash, Misty, and Brock were having a lovely day on Seafoam Island. They happily frolicked through the water, playing with their pokemon and bodysurfing in the gentle, rolling waves. Just then, two people and a meowth came into the water. Brock's large, brown eyes bugged out when he saw a beautiful young woman walk out onto the sand bar next to him. He ran up to her.
"Hello! My name is Brock, and I was wondering if I could maybe go out with you and then perhaps we can go back to my place and..." The woman slammed a mallet on his head before he could finish.
"Get away from me," she snapped. A young man with shoulder-length blue hair ran up to them.
"Jessie, who's this?" he asked.
"Some ass, I don't know," Jessie replied. Brock rose from the ground and looked up at her.
"I told you, my name is Brock," he said.
"Get lost," Jessie growled, and kicked him in the jaw. With both his face and dignity hurt, Brock ran back over to Ash and Misty.
"Hey guys..." he said glumly.
"Yo Brock...whats wrong?" asked Ash.
"I met the most beautiful girl..."Brock began, his voice trailing off.
"Oh God...not that again," sighed Misty.
"Oh yeah...she was hot..."mumbled Brock in his pretty-girl fantasy state.
Later that day, the group went back to the pokemon center to rest and eat some dinner. Nurse Joy walked over to them.
"Hello," she said in her soft, kind voice.
"Hi Nurse Joy!" replied Ash.
"Hello," said Misty.
Brock simply turned away.
"What's your friend's name?" asked Nurse Joy.
"That's Brock," answered Ash.
"Hello Brock," said Nurse Joy. Brock continued to ignore her.
"What's wrong, Brock?" asked Misty.
"Sorry, but the only girls I talk to are the hot ones," he answered.
"Oh dear, I'm sorry to bother you," said Nurse Joy sheepishly.
"You should be," answered Brock, "don't you have some sick pokemon to tend to or something?" he asked.
"Yes, well, have a good day," said Nurse Joy, her face bright red. She rushed out of the room, embarrassed by Brock's comment.
"Brock!" yelled Misty, "What is your problem?! That was the rudest thing I've ever heard you say!"
"You're no prize yourself," muttered Brock.
"You better cool it, Brock," advised Ash.
"Don't tell me what to do. You'll know why I feel that way when you're older," Brock said.
"I've yet to find a man your age as shallow, appearance-obsessed, or as downright mean as you are!" Misty shouted.
Nurse Joy walked back out to where they were sitting.
"Don't worry about it, I'm no beauty queen," she said.
"No, we will worry about it," said Misty, "Brock and I have to talk." She pulled Brock outside.
Misty sat Brock down on a bench outside the Pokemon Center.
"Brock, you need to stop being so shallow. It hurts people's feelings when you judge them based on their appearance. There are so many kind, wonderful people in the world that don't fit your 'sexy' standards," she said.
"Then they aren't wonderful, are they?" asked Brock sarcastically.
"You know what? Why should I bother talking to you? You never listen. I don't know why I ever thought I could help you," said Misty angrily. She then stormed away.
Brock laughed off her little lecture, then went down to the beach.
'There's got to be some hot babes here' he thought to himself.
Brock waded out onto the sandbar, trying to look cool as he jumped over the oncoming waves. Suddenly, a large wave came crashing on top of him! Brock was thrown off balance and dragged into the undertow. The force of the water pulled him back, out into the water. He tried to surface, but was too late. The second his head reached out of the water, two surfers on short boards barreled into his face, stabbing both eyes, blinding him for life.