The school makes a big deal out of every football game and it makes Melissa vaguely uncomfortable. She isn't sure she'll ever get used to going to her locker and seeing a group of cheerleaders putting up a sign that says, "We Love You, #8!" or "Stomp Em Darry!" She usually catches a ride home from Paul, who takes both her and Darry and whatever girl he's dating that week, but on Fridays she has to find another way home which is just fine with her, because Paul's car is inevitably decorated with shoe polished messages on the windows like, "Eagles Rule!" and maybe a big heart on the windshield that has Paul's name and jersey number in it. They make up the passenger side window special for Darry with hearts all over it and messages like "Cheerleaders Love Darry!"
Today, it's making Melissa sick. Not figuratively, like it does every week, but literally. She's already thrown up twice since third hour. She's probably got a flu or some kind of stomach bug, or maybe it's food poisoning from the cheeseburgers they ate at Jay's the night before. In the back of her mind, nagging like guilt that just won't go away, she knows there's another possibility, but she isn't ready to face that one yet. It's been five weeks and six days since she's had her period, which is a good thirteen days longer than she usually has to wait.
Melissa goes into math class, forcing her mind to remain on quadratic equations. She's supposed to meet Darry outside the cafeteria at lunch. He gets the last two hours free on Fridays because the football team either has to prepare for the pep rally after school, or, if the game is at another school, they have to get on the bus. Melissa tries to see Darry at the cafeteria at lunch every day, but Fridays she makes a special effort to be there, lest he forget about her when he's on the bus with all those cheerleaders.
Cheerleading isn't something Melissa has ever considered, so she can't say she's jealous of them. It sometimes looks like fun but mostly looks like a lot of work for a whole lot of nothing. Melissa is partial to riding horses, and she keeps a small mare at the Broken Arrow Stables not far away. She used to compete when she was little and her father was interested. Once her father started drinking and lost his job, he said they couldn't afford for her to be competitive anymore. No, what Melissa is jealous of is all the time those cheerleaders get to spend with Darry. He's dated a few of them off and on over the years, but she trusts him when he says that hes' not interested in scamming around anymore. It helps that Melissa has a few friends on the squad; Charlene Miller, who everyone calls Chatty Charlie (except for Paul, who re-christened her Charlie Shutthefuckup), and Kristy Stevenson, who everyone thinks doesn't talk but you just have to get to know her a little. Melissa met them when Paul was dating Charlie for a while, and they used to double date a lot with Darry and her. Kristy goes wherever Charlie goes for the most part...it's like Charlie's loud mouth makes up for Kristy's complete lack of anything to say.
Melissa likes them anyway, even if they do have to wear their uniforms to school on Fridays (the football team wears their jerseys over their t-shirts, too) and do stupid stuff like decorate cars with shoe polish and slip encouraging notes into the boys lockers.
Math class is as stimulating as ever, which is to say it's not. Melissa isn't all that interested in school work. She can get good marks if she really applies herself but honestly it seems like a waste of time to do more than you have to. She's not a perfectionist like Darry, and because Darry's a perfectionist, he cannot fathom not being one. Melissa is very interested in riding her horse and reading big, fat novels by Russian authors. The quadratic equation just doesn't rank all that high up on her list of things she cares to do well.
She follows the crowd surging to the cafeteria and it's not hard to pick out Darry, since he's bigger and taller than most of the sudent population, and surrounded by his friends from the team who are also bigger and taller than most of the student population. It's not hard to pick him out, but getting to him is another story. Everyone seems to have something to say to him. Melissa can't figure out why they feel the incessant urge to slap his hand and wish him luck every single Friday of the year. She hopes it's not the same as her incessant urge to touch him and feel his lips slant over hers. It shouldn't be the same, and if it is, well, then that's disturbing.
In the quest to reach Darry, Melissa runs smack dab into Sodapop, Darry's fourteen-year-old brother who is a freshman. All the girls think Sodapop is just such a cutie, and Melissa's inclined to agree except that in her eyes, Darry's still better looking. She knows all the girls like them both; they like to say, "Those Curtis boys sure are dreamy!" and corny stuff like that. The youngest is Ponyboy and if he grows up to look anything like either one of his brothers, he'll do just fine. Darry once told her that Sodapop is the most important person in the world to him, even more important than his mom and dad. Melissa is sure Darry's never breathed a word like that to anyone else before.
Sodapop picks her up and swings her around, which isn't the smartest thing to do in a crowd full of hungry teenagers. She kicks a few kids on accident and they grumble in hers and Soda's general direction.
"Hi Melly!" Soda trumpets. He's the only person in the world that's ever called her Melly. It isn't a nickname she sanctioned, he just did it all on his own. Most everyone calls her Mel, except her parents who call her Lissy. She hopes her friends never catch on to that one, because Lissy is worse than Melly.
When he puts her down, Melissa fixes her long hair behind her ears. "Hi Soda," she says back.
Soda's standing with a pretty girl with short light brown hair and blue eyes that Melissa isn't sure she's seen before. Soda doesn't introduce them, so Melissa smiles politely and says, "Hi." The girl says hi back, but it doesn't sound like she wants to. Melissa didn't think Soda was all that interested in girls yet, although girls were real interested in him. Sometimes Darry brought Soda along when they went to the drive-in, and boy, those two brothers could cause a stir when they were together. Girls acted like they were famous or something. Celebrities in their own little world.
Some girls don't like Melissa, specifically because of Darry. One of those girls is Ashley Anderson, the girl who went out with Darry last year. Ashley thinks Melissa isn't good enough for Darry. For one, she's not a cheerleader. For two, she's not all that popular. Melissa knows that Darry isn't really the type that usually becomes good friends with a girl and then realizes he likes her. It was that way with her, though, and to Melissa that means they actually have a better chance of staying together.
Until A&M of course. They haven't had "the talk" yet although it's been a week since Darry's letter came. Now Melissa has more pressing things on her mind. Like getting out of the oppressive crowd before she hurls.
She tells Soda to tell Darry that she didn't feel well and she'd see him later. Then she hauls it outta there before Soda can ask any questions as to what's wrong. Melissa doesn't need a friendly ear right now, she needs some peace and quiet. And maybe a pharmacy in a neighboring town where nobody will recognize her.
It's a pretty lousy feeling when Darry loses a game and there was nothing he could do about it. Darry's a control freak, he'll be the first to admit it. So when he's calling plays that are right and he's executing on his side of the ball, he feels like everyone else should be performing at his caliber, too. When they don't; when a pass is dropped or the receiver just isn't in the place he's supposed to be, games are lost. Darry could make not one mistake, not one, and they could still lose.That's what it felt like tonight. Darry knows everything that happens on the football field is a team effort. Darry also knows that they have a pretty darn good team; when everyone's clicking. Tonight, there was no clicking. People weren't listening, the offensive line wasn't blocking, and everyone seemed distracted.
Darry never gets distracted. Not about football. Not about studying, not about nothing. Darry is a focused person, and that's what makes him so successful. Once the game is mercifully over, Darry jogs into the locker room and starts thinking about the next part of the night. If the team wins, he and Melissa usually go out with everyone. The team picks a celebration spot and everyone meets up and those are some of the best nights of Darry's life. If the team loses, sometimes guys want to get together but not usually. Those times, guys usually hang out alone with their girlfriends or go home and go to bed. Darry doesn't mind getting Melissa all to himself, and he's not really up for hanging out with the team when he can't help but feel like they let him down tonight.
Melissa usually sits with her friend Kimberly on the seats just behind Darry's family. Kimberly's there tonight (talking to Two-Bit, which surprises Darry because Kimberly's pretty Socy), but he doesn't see Melissa. He climbs up to the rail where Sodapop and Ponyboy are hanging. They tell him Melissa hasn't been there at all, and Kimberly says she still didn't feel well. Even when Soda had told him that Melissa left school at lunch because she was sick, Darry had honestly not even thought about her missing the game because of it. Darry took for granted that his family and girlfriend will always come to the games. They haven't missed one yet.
It crosses his mind to leave her be and call her tomorrow, but Darry had gotten set on seeing her.
"Dad, if I drop you all off at the house, could I use the truck and go over there for a little bit?"
Darry's mom thinks he should just leave her alone, but she only argues the point so far until Darry says, "I just want to make sure she's alright, Mom." She drops it, like Darry knows she will. She likes to make her opinion known, but then she lets her sons make their own decisions.
They gather themselves up pretty quick after that because the wind has picked up and it's a cold, bitter April wind. It's just past ten o'clock when Darry is finally in the truck by himself and headed to the south side. His mother has told him he has to be home by midnight. His curfew is usually one o'clock on game nights, but she says that if his girlfriend is sick, there's no reason he has to be out past midnight. His mom's a tough cookie, but Darry thinks she's pretty cool most of the time.
Melissa has a terrace that Darry could easily climb onto, but he opts for the front door anyway. He's afraid of her father, a little bit, only because he has lots of guns and is pretty sure he keeps them loaded and at the ready. Melissa's mom answers anyway, and smiles like she's exhausted. She tells Darry that Melissa's been in her room all night and is probably asleep, but that he can go up and check. He thinks her dad must not be home, because he never woulda been allowed to do that if he was.
Melissa isn't asleep at all, but sitting in the very center of her still-made bed. She's staring straight ahead and doesn't even flinch when Darry opens the door and closes it behind him. She isn't crying, but looks like she has been. Her knees are drawn to her chest, and her arms are around them. Every light in the room is on; the overhead, the lamps, her closet light, and the bathroom light that connects to her room.
Darry steps to the bed. He's uneasy, but he's not sure why.
"Hey, baby," he says softly, unsure if he should speak any louder than a whisper. He might scare her. He isn't sure she even knows he's there. He sits on the edge of the bed, sorta afraid to disturb her. "Mel, what's wrong?"
She sits there for a moment longer, and Darry finds himself glancing in the direction of her gaze, wondering what's so fascinating about the "Hard Day's Night" album cover pinned up to her closet door. He gets up, because he's starting to feel restless and jittery with all the sitting and not knowing what's going on. He starts to turn off lights; her closet, her overhead and then the bathroom. He plans to leave just the lamps on.
When he's standing just inside the bathroom door, his hand on the switch, he sees the sticks on the counter. Not one, but two, laid neatly next to each other. Both have two little blue lines and on the back of the box, which is propped up against the mirror, it clearly illustrates two lines, pregnant. One line, not pregnant.
Darry feels his heart drop to his stomach and sit there. A thumping, roiling blob just south of his ribs. He clutches the doorjamb to keep from falling down and turns, as if in slow motion, to look at Melissa again.
Suddenly she blinks and looks at him. Says, "You know, I thought about it and I think my mom will be alright. I mean, I think she'll help. Don't you?"
She doesn't wait for him to say anything, and Darry can only open his mouth before she barrels on. "I remember last summer Kristy told me about this girl who got something done -- you know -- but I can't do that, I mean, I can't! Could you?"
Darry thinks they started a conversation at its midpoint, and he can't figure out how to get back to the start. He isn't sure he wants to. Melissa has jumped off the bed and is pacing nervously. Her fingers are wringing into each other. She's watching her path across her off-white carpet.
It's selfish, and Darry knows this, but Texas A&M pops into his mind. He thinks he can probably kiss that dream goodbye now. He believes in personal accountability. If his parents, especially his mom, have hammered anything into him over the years, it's to take responsibility his own actions. He tries to focus on Melissa again. She's scared, and tears have started rolling down her cheeks. He takes a step, and is surprised to find that he is mobile, despite the fact that his heart has disloged from its rightful place.
Catching her in his arms as she walks by, he draws her into a hug. He's forcing it, and she obviously doesn't want to be there. He only tries for a minute, and then lets her go. She whirls on him, anger flashing in her eyes like this is his fault and his fault alone.
"God, Darry! Do you understand what's going on?!"
Darry isn't mad. He knows how frustrated and scared she must be. He's frustrated and scared, too. He's just always had a more firm grip on his emotions.
"Yeah, I understand," he says. He almost says, "It'll be okay," but outright lying is just going to make her more upset.
Watching her pace starts to make him dizzy so he sits down on her bed. His head feels heavy and he thinks he might throw up. He's exhausted, and he usually feels that way after a game, but this is different. He's weary right down to his bones. Putting his head in his hands, Darry slips his fingers through his hair and wonders what he can get a job doing. Construction, maybe. He'd hoped to study architecture in college and do that if he didn't play professional football. Construction is a start, and maybe he can still go to Tulsa University or something. It isn't A&M, and he won't be getting out of the neighborhood, but at least it's college.
He wants to tell Melissa all of this, but he knows she hasn't processed it this far yet. She's not like him. She doesn't need to have every little thing planned out. She's probably still stuck on how they're going to tell their parents.
Man, his mom is gonna be disappointed. Just this Christmas, she'd been pulling pies out of the oven while he was doing an English paper and she said, "Darry, I hope you're being careful. I know you care about Melissa but you have to keep focused on your future." It had been strange, her saying that right in the middle of him writing about King Lear, but he'd gotten her gist. The week before, she'd found a condom in his pocket while she was doing the wash, and ever since then she'd been saying things like that.
Darry knows he was as careful as he coulda been, but of course there are no guarantees. Melissa is still pacing and Darry wonders how long this will go on. He tries to catch her again, and says, "Come here, will you?"
He figures it's futile, and is surprised when she comes. He's sitting on the edge of her bed and she walks in between his legs. His arms go around her waist and he rests his head just above her belly. He can't believe there's a life growing there. He can't believe he's going to be a father.
TBC...
Thank you to everyone who reviews!