AN: Only two parts left... A big thank you to everyone who has written to me about the story or reviewed. It's nice to know there are people out there reading. Also, a very big thank you to Cria for betaing.

Part 8

"What are your plans for your birthday?" Harm asked Mac when she stepped into the break room. It was a Monday in early February.

"I don't know. I hadn't really planned on doing anything special for it considering it's not really my birthday anymore, just what was on a piece of paper."

"It was your birthday for 32 years," Harm protested.

"I guess that's true," Mac admitted.

"So will you let me celebrate with you?"

"I guess," Mac smiled feeling herself getting a bit excited about it all.

"Good morning Colonel, Commander," Bud said when he too entered the break room.

"Good morning Bud, " they answered back.

"Harriet and I was wondering if either you'd like to baby-sit Baby AJ on Friday? I thought I'd ask you both since you seem to be joined at the hip lately..." he stopped talking realizing this might be exactly what he shouldn't say to his superior officers.

"We're not joined at the hip," Mac protested to busy trying to deny what Bud had said to have time to be upset with him.

"No, we do lots of things apart," Harm said trying to convince them all three that so was the case "Yesterday afternoon Mac was up in Baltimore visiting her parents I was out on the air field working on Sarah."

"And yesterday morning?" Bud asked.

"We went jogging in the park," Mac said.

"Together?"

"Well, yes. It's easier to motivate yourself when you do it with someone else," Harm tried to explain.

"OK," Bud said not feeling at all like they had actually proven anything to him.

"I'd love to come over and baby-sit. Just let me know when I should come," Mac decided that escaping to her office was a good way out of the conversation for now and therefore left the room.

"Well, I don't have anything else to do either, so I'll come too," Harm tried to say as casually as he could to Bud and then left the room as well.

Mac was almost finished with dinner when there was a knock on the door. It must be Harm she thought and took off the apron she had been covering her clothes with and went to open up. On the other side of the door was the tall and handsome Harmon Rabb just like Mac had thought waiting. She was speechless when she caught sight of him. He was wearing a suit that she didn't recognize and his smile made her heart skip a beat.

"Hey," she got out "Welcome inside," she stepped aside and Harm reached over the enormous bouquet of roses to her.

"Happy birthday, Mac."

"Oh, they're... they're beautiful, Harm. Thank you!"

"You're welcome," he tried to kill her with another one of his smiles.

"I just need to do one more thing and dinner will be ready," Mac said inhaling the wonderful scent of the flowers.

"Take your time, Mac," Harm told her.

"It was fun yesterday, wasn't it?" Mac asked as she gave the final touch to her spicy cucumber soup. After the soup they were having salmon with honey and cashew-nuts

"Yeah, AJ has gotten so big. I can see why Harriet and Bud would need a break from it all though."

"Oh yeah," Mac answered him.

It wasn't long until they were sitting at the table enjoying the dinner.

"I should let you cook more often. This was really good," Harm admitted.

"I never said I couldn't cook. I just don't like to do it a lot." She smiled and he smiled back at her.

"You are... you are so beautiful tonight, Mac," Harm told her and watched her face like he couldn't get enough of it.

"Oh Harm," Mac said and when he just continued to watch her she added a shy "Thank you."

He just smiled back at her. They were finished with dinner and Mac took the plates and glasses over to just put in the kitchen. After putting the left-overs in the refrigerator, she turned around to Harm and told him that the rest could wait.

"Do you want to wait with dessert?" she asked being completely stuffed herself at the moment.

"I couldn't get anything down now."

"Me neither."

They went out to the living room and Mac put on a new CD she had bought herself as a present.

"I have something for you," Harm said and got out a small package "I hope you'll like it," he nervously added.

"Thank you," Mac slowly unwrapped the red package with golden strings and discovered a golden heart on a chain. Turning the charm over there was an inscription, it said 'H and M'. "Oh, Harm this is too much," a tear started making it's way down her cheek.

"No, it's not. You deserve it and when I found it in that shop close to my apartment that you love and saw the inscription I knew I had to give it to you."

"Harm, it's beautiful, but it's still too much." Now tears were steadily moving down her cheeks.

"Mac, I didn't mean to make you cry. I just wanted you to know how important you are to me. You're my best friend, my other half. Without you I'm not a whole person."

"Harm, the necklace is wonderful, but it isn't a present you give your best friend. Lately it's been like we're just pretending that we're not having a relationship, but right now in a lot of ways we do, we just don't call it that. We go out to dinner together and... Even Bud had noticed that we spend almost all of our time together," Mac paused trying to gather her thoughts. "Right now I have all the disadvantages that a relationship with you would have... the complications with my family and all... but we're not really together. I don't have you... not the way I would like to. I just don't think I can go on like this."

Harm had been quite during her speech, but now gathered himself to say what he felt. "Mac, you know why we can't be together like that."

"No. I'm not so sure that I do know that anymore."

"I can't have you risk anything about your relationship with your family for me. I just can't let you do that, because I know how important they are to you..."

"They are important to me, but... When you were leaving last spring you seemed to be feeling differently."

Harm paused like he was thinking and then decided to say "Yes, I did."

"What changed? Something changed when you were out there, I could see it in your letters."

"Two weeks into my deployment, I had a close call during a landing and... well, all I could think about was you. If we were together and then something happened to me I wouldn't want you to be alone. I'd want you to still have your family especially then," Harm was slowly and carefully explaining what had changed his mind about them.

"I wouldn't want that either, for me or for you, but you can't live your life waiting for accidents that may never happen. Maybe we should take a chance at this. I could talk to my parents, they might feel differently if they got to know you and realize you were not the same person who was with Diane..." Mac was silenced by her own words. Some people's approval they were never going to be able to get.

"Mac, I'd rather stay your best friend then risk loosing that. It's what matters most to me in the whole world."

"But you do realize that it means we have to change things between us. I can't play this game with you any longer, because if we do I'm afraid we're going to loose just that"

Harm swallowed "Yes, I do."

TBC