A/N - Thanks so much to Racetrack's Goil and Carmilla for alerting me to the Mary Sue factor. Can you believe that I didn't actually know what an MS was and had to go research? Anyways, a little adjusting and I hope this is better. Let me know if there's more I can do.
Also, I'm a little fuzzy on the Russian -ovich endings for names. Something is telling me that it's the masculine version. What's the feminine? And also the nicknames for Victor and Nikka in the next chapter. Is there a better way to do those?
"My name is Nikkola Anastasia Pietrovich Creed. Nicole for short, Nikka to a select...well, to a select one." She smiled slightly in Logan's direction, then stared unseeingly at the wall, staring into the past. The two men were immediately captivated by her soft accent, now more apparent.
"I was born in Russia, in 1913. Myself, and my older brother Victor...are mutants. In the modern day, our father, Pietro, would have been a staunch anti-mutant advocate. He hated us for what we were...for what we had no control over being.
"Victor and I had some similar mutant characteristics. We both had heightened senses, increased speed, strength and agility. We also had sharp claws, slitted pupils, and fangs. But that is where the similarities ended. I was more agile, Victor was stronger, and I had a telepathic ability as well. And for the physical characteristics, the eyes, teeth and nails...while I discovered mine later and could conceal them, Victor was born with his and could not hide what he was. Whatever our father could have been to us, that changed everything. He hated Victor for what he was...hated my mother for ruining his son..and before he hated me for being a mutant, he hated me for being the same gender as my mother.
"My brother's life...was a living hell. Imprisoned in the basement, he was tortured by my father for as long as I could remember in my young life. I never knew what went on down there, and I never wanted to know. All I know was that I sometimes had to take meals down to Victor, and some of those experiences were...not pleasant. My father's treatment of Victor had given him two minds. One was normal, rational, even admirable. But the other...my father accused Victor of being a monster, and so that was what he created.
"You have to understand, that when Victor was sane, he was the most wonderful older brother a young girl could ask for. And I loved him dearly. I...love...him dearly. When I think of Victor, it is those quiet conversations, those good memories, that I remember. All else is unbearable."
Nicole's voice drifted off as she lost herself in memory. Just before Logan moved to touch her hand, her gaze cleared and she took a deep breath, her gaze again fixing on the wall.
"I remember one night when I was fifteen, listening to Victor's screams from my room. I heard my father come upstairs, and get ready for bed. My...my mother must have said something...something against my father, for the next screams I heard were hers. But suddenly, they stopped..."
Charles and Logan watched in concern as Nicole's eyes slid shut and a tear slid down her cheek. After a quiet moment, she took a shuddering breath and continued, her voice shaky.
"The next thing I heard was my father going outside, and the sound of a shovel against the cold ground. The next morning, there was a fresh pile of dirt just outside the treeline. I obviously never saw my mother again."
After holding each of their gazes for a moment, Nicole shifted her weight against the headboard of the bed.
"I did not think that I could sleep that night, but I must have, for the next thing I knew, the sun was shining through my window. I got up and looked in the mirror...and saw my brother's eyes looking back at me. I opened my mouth and saw my brother's fangs. I raised my hands and saw my brother's claws. And for the first time in my life I was truly afraid. In a moment of panic, I clenched my eyes shut and fisted my hands. When I relaxed again, I was back to normal."
Nicole laughed softly.
"That almost scared me more than seeing my mutation. But I could feel my father's mind and knew that he was still asleep. For the moment, I was safe. So before I left my room I knew how to change from one to the other in a split-second. And in the weeks and months that followed, I slowly trained my body to react. To save me, if necessary.
"It was in training myself to react that I actually made my mistake. Because one day when I was taking food to Victor, he lunged towards me. I fell back, claws and teeth ready to defend myself. Victor stopped dead in his tracks and just smiled. I will never forget that smile.
"If I thought life was hard before my father knew, it was a thousand times more difficult once my brother told him what I was. I became a slave, only alive to care for my father who was too lazy and too pompous to do anything himself. My only blessing was that he did not touch me, preferring to take his aggression out on my brother. I was...below the effort, I suppose.
"By this time, I was nineteen. And my life was about to take a turn for the worse again. One night, my brother escaped from his prison. He found my father and killed him in his bed, then found me in mine."
Logan watched as Nicole flinched at the memory and he could feel his anger rising. He could imagine what Victor would have done to her when he found her, and his thoughts were only confirmed by Nicole's next words.
"Whatever lies my father told Victor, his mind was poisoned against me, against my gender, really. I wished I could have died that night. The next morning we took only what we could carry, and we left our home forever. Victor burned it as we walked away.
"The next few months we just roamed, following the seasons, just surviving. It was in the dead of winter when my life changed for the better, finally.
"We had found a small cave to shelter us from a storm. I was...in trouble. In that cave, even with what was going on, even with what had happened to bring us to that point, I never loved my brother more fiercely than I did then.
"His mind changes were not instant. He would become confused, disoriented, and then...whatever he wasn't a few moments before. When I saw the confusion on his face that night...I have never been more relieved."
Nicole drew her knees up to her chest and clenched her eyes shut again, remembering. When she opened her eyes again, they were moist with tears.
"My brother was a fully grown man, in his twenties, and yet he did not know some of the basic things about life. He did not know what was happening to me, only that somehow, he must be responsible for it. It was tearing him up inside..."
Again, Nicole's voice faded to nothing. The two men could do nothing but sit and watch as tears streamed down her face. Her lips moved slightly, and suddenly Charles and Logan could hear a young man's deep, accented voice in their heads, his words matching those Nicole was whispering.
"Nikkola...do not cry. Shah, child, it will be alright. Nicole... Nikkola, please... I am so sorry, small one, I did not mean to. You know I did not mean to. Nikkola, please say it will be alright, please forgive me. Say it will be alright...
"Nicole, I must go for help, I must save you. I have to find a way. I will be right back, I will only be gone for a second. Do not cry, darling. Your brother will make it right. I will make it right again, Nikkola."
The room was silent for many moments before Nicole took a deep breath. When she spoke, the two men flinched at the dead sound.
"By the time Victor returned, it was too late. I had already given birth, had killed the child as I delivered it, and had hidden the body away from the cave. My brother would never know that he once had a son."
She looked at the expressions on Charles and Logan's faces, and frowned defiantly.
"You do not understand. I was merciful. If my brother had gotten his hands on that baby when he was not himself...it would have taken days for it to die. I saved its life by taking it." Her chin raised recklessly, daring them to say she was wrong. But Logan noticed that even as she made her point her lower lip quivered slightly, mourning the life she had taken.
"But that does not matter now," Nicole said firmly. "What matters is who Victor brought back to save his little sister, his darling. We were in the wilds of Siberia, and yet my brother found someone who was willing to come." She laughed slightly.
"You have to understand that Victor was not a small man. At eight, he was as big as I am now. Fully grown, he was close to seven feet tall. Well over three hundred pounds. Any offspring he produced would be...not good for someone so small-boned as I. After delivering, I was losing blood fast and my healing factor could not catch up. And my life was saved by a stranger who was traveling through Siberia after finishing training as a samurai in Japan."
Nicole looked towards Logan, and just held his gaze with her own. After a moment his eyes widened in shock and he stood abruptly, his mouth open.
"Me?! It was me?" She just nodded quietly, giving him as long as he needed before she continued with her story. Finally he sat down, still in shock.
"I met you in 1933. And after I regained consciousness, you introduced yourself...as James William Logan." Her voice dropped to a whisper.
"I have known you for over seventy years. And by your own admission, I know everything there is to know about you, Logan." He shut his eyes and shook his head slightly. When he opened them again, he met her gaze and motioned for her to continue. She nodded back decisively.
"You knew exactly what had happened to me, and you kept my secret. You stayed with us, becoming my self-proclaimed protector and bodyguard. You learned to weather Victor's mood changes as well as I, and we grew closer.
"We were not always roaming. We crossed the ocean. Came to America. Settled in Canada. And all three of us joined the army. We became part of a top secret project known as the Weapons Program, a special division for mutants like us. We were given codenames...two to be exact. You were Wolverine, Weapon X. I was Wildcat, Weapon XI." Nicole stopped to study Logan's face carefully. His expression was now open, taking in the information and processing it as quickly as he could.
"The 'X' is not a letter in this case. It is Roman numeral ten. Chronologically, we were weapons nine, ten, and eleven. Before that and beyond that, I do not know anything about the other mutants, only that there were some before, and possibly some after. It was our healing factor that set us apart from everyone else and made us part of the program. We were trained as part of the army, and carried out specific missions that needed a more...analytical weapon. And we loved our lives. But again, it was too good to last long.
"There was a new aspect of the program that they wanted to implement. But the success rate was...not good, to say the least. It would make a better, stronger soldier, but only those that could survive it would be of any use. And only those with a healing factor could have a chance at surviving it. So it needed 'volunteers'. Only nobody volunteered. We may be mutants, we may have been considered little more than animals, but life is precious even to an animal. We refused." She shook her head.
"It was again my brother who turned life upside down. One night, late, we awoke to see him standing in our bedroom door, confused and penitent. 'They are coming', he said. 'I am so sorry.' And we knew exactly what he meant..." Nicole's brow furrowed and she squinted.
"I do not...I do not know how to describe what happened next. May...may I show you?" When both men nodded, she licked her lips and blinked once, and they were instantly seeing from her point of view.
Logan was laying on his left side, facing the door. With her right arm draped across him, Nicole supported herself on her left arm and squinted at the light behind Victor.
"What did you do, Victor?" He shuffled his feet anxiously.
"I am so sorry, Nikkola. They are coming. Now."
With a growl, Logan launched himself out of the bed towards Victor.
"You told them where we were?!" Victor flinched.
"I am sorry, Logan. I did not want to." Controlling his anger, Logan clenched his fists.
"I know Victor. I know you didn't mean to. But now we have to go." His gaze was dark and menacing when he looked up at the taller man.
"Take only what you can carry and run for the woods. We'll meet you there. Get out of here while you still can." Victor looked beyond him to where Nicole was hurriedly stuffing clothing and other items into a backpack. With their acute hearing, they picked up the sound of several helicopters heading in their direction.
"Victor, go now!" Nicole shouted, and the big man turn and raced down the hall.
Cursing under his breath, Logan joined Nicole in packing the army-issued pack. When she reached under the bed to grab his backpack as well, he held onto her wrist.
"No, Nikka. There's just time for the one." She looked in confusion as he buckled the pack and helped her settle it on her back, then took her elbow and headed to the door. While she had taken a minute to throw on some clothes, he was still only clad in a pair of baggy sleep shorts.
"Logan...what are you doing?" His gaze was guarded and his jaw clenched.
"Someone has to stay behind, Nikka. Someone has to keep them from following." Nicole's eyes widened and she felt her heart begin to race.
"You cannot...Logan, you cannot stay behind." When he didn't reply, she grabbed his arm and swung him around to face her.
"I am not leaving you!" Whatever Logan said was drowned out by the sound of two army helicopters landing in front of the house. Both Nicole and Logan snarled and ran towards the window at the back of the room.
"Nikka, you have to. It's the only way." She shook her head in panic, her breath coming in short gasps.
"I do not want to go without you. I can help you, we can fight together. Logan, this is what we do!" Logan turned the full force of his anger towards her.
"Not tonight, Nikka! We won't win this fight! And I won't let them capture you! I'm not going to lose you!" Nicole was now crying openly, trying to hold onto Logan.
"But what about you?! I do not want to lose you either!" For one brief moment Logan held Nikka in his arms and kissed her desperately. But it was over too soon, and he was pushing her away again.
"Nikka, if they take me, you're the only one who will be able to find me again. You're the only one I know who can find me. Track me. Hunt me down, and rescue me. I know you can do it." Nicole shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I...will not...leave you, James!"
As heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs and towards their room, Logan grabbed Nicole's arms tightly. With one last kiss he looked deep into her eyes.
"You don't have a choice, Nikkola." With that one last look, he threw her backwards out the window. Glass shattered around her and she was falling, but true to her animal counterpart she twisted in midair and landed on her feet, running. Once she reached the treeline she turned to look into their bedroom window to see Logan fighting furiously with seemingly dozens of men. With her hands covering her mouth to deaden the sound of her crying, she watched as Logan was finally taken down and dragged from the room.
Flashlights illuminated an area close to her, leading soldiers who were looking behind the house for herself and her brother. Even as her heart was breaking for leaving Logan behind, her feet carried her silently away from the house, away from her captors.
Again the room was silent. When Nikkola finally opened her eyes, her gaze instantly connected with Logan's.
"That was nearly twenty years ago, about a year and a half before your present memories begin." She shook her head in despair and frustration.
"When the soldiers finally left, Victor found me in the woods and I was forced to run. But I did find your scent, followed your trail for as long as I could. It led me to Alkali Lake, but I lost it above the dam, and could not find it again. The longer I looked, the more hopeless it became, and I finally knew that I would not find you, no matter how hard I tried. Giving up was the hardest thing I have ever done, and something I berate myself for even now, but I had searched for you for over a year. The disappointment and condemnation that I felt for myself was renewed everyday for the last nineteen years, ever since I gave up the search. Even long after the memory of your face left my mind..."
Nikkola found herself drowning in Logan's eyes, just like she had the first time they saw each other. His dark gaze spoke volumes and yet nothing, all at the same time, and she could feel herself falling for him all over again. It wasn't until the professor gently cleared his throat that she managed to tear her gaze away from his.
"Nicole, could you please tell us the circumstances that led up to you being attacked in the woods?" Nicole shook her head to clear it, then squinted in concentration.
"I had been roaming again for the last nineteen years, relatively in peace. Three years ago I caught a glimpse of my brother, Victor, in New York City. I knew that if I had seen him, he had most likely seen me as well. So I retreated to the woods where it is easier for me to protect myself. Two weeks ago, I noticed signs in the surrounding area that pointed to Victor's presence. He found me yesterday and we fought. For the last few years he had been searching for me, intent on killing me. And he almost succeeded, but I did manage to escape. Even wounded, I laid a trail that he could not easily follow. I knew I had wounded him as well, so the longer I could last, the less likely it would be that he would take the time to find me. He would wait until he had healed fully, and then pick up the trail again. I found no sign that he had followed me at all last night, and this afternoon I managed to find you before he found me."
As Nicole was talking, the professor's brow was growing more and more furrowed. When she finished and sat back against the headboard expectantly, he looked intently at her.
"Did you say that you saw Victor in New York three years ago?" When she nodded, he frowned again.
"Can you please describe exactly what he looks like?" Nicole frowned, but complied with a nod.
"I don't know his exact height and weight, but he is near seven feet tall, and over three hundred pounds. He has long blonde hair, feline eyes, black curved claws, fangs, and he wears animal furs." Logan stood abruptly, his chair skidding back along the floor.
"Sabertooth," he growled savagely. Nicole nodded immediately.
"Yes. That was his codename in the Weapons program." She shook her head at the dark expression on Logan's face.
"I see that the two of you have met again. He did not say anything about your past?" Logan shook his head, still glaring. Nicole nodded, not surprised.
Professor Xavier finally sighed slowly, and backed his wheelchair away from the bed.
"Thank you, Nikkola, for sharing this with us. I know it must have been hard." Nicole just smiled.
"It needed to be said." The professor nodded in understanding, then slowly moved towards the door.
"I will leave you now, and see what I can do about finding your brother. Please feel free to move about the mansion as you wish. The others have been alerted to your presence and are expecting to see you at some point." Nicole nodded her thanks, and watched as the door silently swung shut behind the professor. When the room was silent again she turned towards Logan, who was standing by a window. After a moment he turned towards her with an unreadable expression on his face. Seconds later he spoke quietly.
"I've got a lot to think about, but would you be willin' to sit down later and tell me about me?" Nicole smiled softly.
"For as long as it takes before you are satisfied, Logan." He nodded once, then silently made his way out of the room, leaving Nikkola alone.
When he was gone, Nicole considered leaving as well and seeing who else inhabited the mansion, but instead she curled into a ball on her bed, staring off into space. Seconds later she heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," she called, and the door opened to expose the red haired woman from earlier that day. Nicole quirked her brow slightly, and the woman cleared her throat.
"My name is Jean Grey. I'm the doctor." Nikkola's eyebrows rose in shock, then in mockery.
"I apologize, Dr. Grey, but I have no broken bones for you to practice setting." Jean's cheeks colored in consternation.
"I'm very sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have concentrated that hard." Nicole smiled slightly.
"It is all right, Dr. Grey. On a normal day it would take much more than that to damage me. My name is Nikkola. You can call me Nicole if you want." Jean nodded and smiled.
"And you can just call me Jean. Only the kids call me Dr. Grey." Nicole's smile grew broader, and for the next few minutes the women chatted amiably as Jean checked Nicole's injuries. Finding no sign that they even existed, she asked if Nicole would like to shower. The response was instantaneous.
"Oh, Jean, that would be absolutely heavenly!" With another grin, the two new friends headed to a suite of rooms that had a private bathroom. Jean ran to her own room to grab some extra clothes and toiletries, as well as to the kitchen for a tray of food, then left Nicole to get make herself at home.