The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear
Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.
A/N: Sorry that I took a long time. This is for all of my reviewers and friends.
Chapter 4: Painful things
At Yugi's house
"Where could he be? Why would he leave with only one shoe? I bet Kaiba kidnapped him. I know he did."
"Yami probably was struggling and didn't want to listen to Kaiba, so Kaiba knocked him out and had his way with him." Yugi said imagining it in his head.
"No, that couldn't happen. I really have to stop reading x-rated yaoi and shoujo manga." Yugi laughed and shook his head.
"Why does Yami like him more than me? Why? Haven't I been a good friend to him and helped him emotionally and physically? He never pays attention to me anymore. Kaiba is too important to him now. After everything Kaiba did Yami still ditched school with him and had sex. That's good no teachers or students were out in the hall way and that there's no classes near the computer room or they would be in trouble. Could Yami even moan any louder than that. Sheesh they both are assholes." Yugi said laying down on his bed in his room. Yugi was throwing up a rainbow swirled ball as he was thinking aloud. Yami's bed is just across from Yugi's bed. Their room had dark black walls covered with posters of their favorite singers. Yugi looked at his book case that was in the middle of their beds. It is filled with doujinshi and his favorite manga.
Yugi was mad because Yami never paid attention to him. He hates Kaiba. He threw the ball higher and harder once more into the air. The ball twirled as it hit the ceiling coming down twice as fast and hard when it hit the ceiling. It came down and hit Yugi's head.
"Dammit!" Yugi cursed.
Yugi rolled on his stomach so he could put his face in his pillow. Yugi had put on a cd earlier that he loved to hear. When he was sad or mad he would lock himself in his room.
And hear his favorite song over and over. The cd that is paying is a burn cd. It had some of Utada Hikaru, Yuri Chika, Ayumi Hamasaki and BOA songs. He loved their songs. Right now Utada Hikaru "Traveling" was on. Yugi sobbed in his pillow. He kicked his extra black covers on to the floor.
"I love you Yami."
"But I think I hate you more," he yelled tears streaming from his eyes. He stood up on his bed and grabbed his pillow that he was just sobbing in and threw it at a picture of Yami.
Yugi couldn't help the tears that were coming out of his big violet eyes. Yugi jumped of his bed and went to go pick up his picture.
I can't hate you. I'm sorry." He said kissing Yami's picture.
He walked to his red stereo that was on his desk near the door. He took out the silver cd and put another one in but this one had english love songs. Now his favorite song started playing.
For All Time
You've been the first in my life
who had ever made me feel this way
And I will not deny
I'm gonna need you right here by my side
Baby I can't wait
(Come and hold my hand and let me lead the way)
Let me take your breath away
(By holdin' and kissin' and lovin' and touchin' you)
Never will be too late
( see myself through your eyes)
Baby I can't wait
(till the day I hear you say)
You are mine
There's no other one for me
Keep in mind
You make my life complete
And tonight
We'll make love endlessly
Cuz your mine
You'll the on I'll keep for all time
Now that you're here boy
I'm never gonna let you go
Can I touch you there boy
Do you mind if we kiss really slow
You're my everything
You're my hopes and dreams
Baby, you know it ain't no lie
I'm gonna be with you till the day I die
Baby I can't wait
(Come and hold my hand and let me lead the way)
Let me take your breath away
(By holdin' and kissin' and lovin' and touchin' you)
Never will be too late
( see myself through your eyes)
Baby I can't wait
(no no till the day I hear you say)
You are mine
There's no other one for me
Keep in mind
You make my life complete
And tonight
We'll make love endlessly
Cuz your mine
You'll the on I'll keep for all time
You're the one that lights my fire
You're the one that keeps me strong
You're the one that I depend on
When my world going wrong
You're the one that I hold closer
You're the man I'm dreaming of
And I really really love you
I just want you to know that
You are mine
There's no other one for me
Keep in mind
You make my life complete
And tonight
We'll make love endlessly
Cuz your mine
You'll the on I'll keep for all time
I can't wait till the day
I hear you say
You're the one I need
You're the one that I'll keep
For all time
For All Time End
After Yugi sang his favorite song that reminds him of Yami, he walked to his bed and laid down. He started to cry because he knows Yami would never have that kind of feelings for him.
"I think I should just sleep. Yes, I love sleeping. When I sleep I don't have to see them together. In sleep I could dream of us together. There my desires and hopes come true. I don't have to face harsh reality. I could live in my little world." Yugi said closing his eyes.
"I wish I had eternal sleep." Yugi said tears streaming from his now swollen eyes. He smiled a sad weak smile knowing that when he does wake up reality will smack him in the face.
"Yugi, I'm home!" A voice shouted from down stairs.
"Yami's home. I thought he would not come after that fight we had. Maybe he doesn't remember. I won't bring it up." He said jumping up in bed and getting up.
"Yugi, you there?" Yami said coming up the stairs. Yugi panicked. He had been crying a lot. If Yami saw him now he would be asking what happen. He didn't want Yami to know.
Yugi rushed to the door locking it. Yami turned the knob on the now locked door.
"Yugi, open this door now!" Yami demanded.
"No, I'm busy! I won't let you in."
"What's a matter with you voice? Have you been crying?"
"No! Go Away! I won't open the door."
"Ok then be that way, Yugi!" Yami shouted going down stairs.
Yugi sobbed on his bed. Yami went up the stairs with his room key quietly.
He quickly stuck the key in and opens the door.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha, I beat you." Yami said scanning the room for Yugi. There on Yugi's bed was Yugi shocked that he was in the room. Yugi didn't remember that Yami had a key. Yugi stared at Yami with his face full of tears.
"Yugi…I…what's…a matter?" Yami said with concern going to Yugi.
"Don't look at me!" Yugi shouted turning his face away from Yami's.
Yami got closer and touched Yugi's head.
"Don't touch me!" He barked.
Yami sat on his bed.
"Don't cry Yugi. I'm sorry." Yami said in a gentle voice and turned Yugi's head so he was looking at him now.
"Don't cry, Yugi. I'm sorry." He said again wiping his tears away with his finger.
"Yami…"
"Yes…"
"I love you…."
"I love you too Yugi." Yami said with a smile.
"………" Yugi didn't know what to say. Yami didn't know what he was meaning.
"Were you worried that I didn't love you anymore because I had Kaiba?"
Yugi nodded in response.
"I will always love you Yugi." Yami said holding Yugi hand.
"No, I don't love you as a friend. I love you as more than one."
A bag fell to the floor by the door.
"What are you doing, Yami?!"
"Kaiba?" Yugi and Yami said shocked.
"I heard you Yugi! Get away from Yami! He's mine!"
Yami let go of Yugi's hand and walked over to Kaiba.
"Calm down Kaiba. He didn't mean it right, Yugi." Yami said holding Kaiba back then looking at Yugi.
"No I meant it, YAMI. I love you with all my heart. I love you more than anything in this world." Yugi shout tears coming down.
"Why you little…." Kaiba said pushing Yami to the floor and walking to Yugi.
"You Asshole!" Kaiba said grabbing Yugi by the neck and holding him up in the air over his bed.
"Yami help me. I'm scared. He wants to kill me!" Yugi shouted.
"He's mine Yugi."
Yami pushed Kaiba down. Kaiba released his grip on Yugi as he fell to the ground.
"You ok Yugi." He said putting his hand on Yugi's back. Yugi touched his neck softly while he coughed.
Yami turned to Kaiba.
"Seto, I'm sorry but you were hurting Yugi." He said with concern.
"It's ok Yami…but let's go. NOW!" Kaiba said angrily.
"But I can't leave Yugi. I won't leave him. You hurt him."
Kaiba grabbed Yami's arm and pulled him out of the room.
"Yugi, I'll be back I promise."
Yugi got up quickly and ran down stairs after Kaiba.
"Let Yami go. He didn't do any thing to you. I'm the one who you should be mad at!"
"Shut up Yugi. You're just gonna make it worst." Yami said worried for Yugi's safe being.
"You backstabber, Yami."
Kaiba pushed Yami into the car and looked at Yugi.
"He'll never love you, Yugi." He said getting in the car and French kissing Yami in front of him.
Then they drove off leaving a broken hearted Yugi.
Moments later at the Kaiba house
"Seto stop pulling me it hurts."
"If this hurts you wait until we get inside."
"Stop Seto you're scaring me!"
Seto ignore Yami's comment and dragged him into his house.
Seto picked up Yami climbing up the steps to his room.
After many steps they finally got there. Yami had a worried look on his face.
"Seto why…why are we here?" Yami said scared.
"Who do you love more Yami? Me or Yugi?! Give me an answer!" He said pushing Yami on the bed.
"I love you more Seto."
"Then show me." He said getting on top of Yami and kissing him.
"Stop Seto. I don't want to have sex right now."
"What? You don't want to have sex with me? You don't love me?!"
" No, I'm not saying that. I do love you . I'm not in the mood. Seto you're scaring me."
"Shut up Yami." He said kissing Yami's neck at taking off Yami's shirt off.
"Stop Seto!" He said trying to push him off.
Yami's POV
"Stop Seto!" I cried.
I tried to push him of but I couldn't. He took off my shirt already.
'No…' I scream in my head.
"Stop Seto…I beg you.." I pleaded but he didn't.
"I'll show you never to say no to me. I love you Yami."
He said ripping of my pants. The only thing that is between us is our underwear. He had managed to take off all his clothes quick.
He ripped my underwear and his off, so our bodies were now bare. I couldn't help but cry and be scared. I know it is gonna hurt.
"Seto...please…..stop." I cried.
"No…I'll show you I love you more than him."
He thrusted into me with out any preparations or a lot of lube.
'Stop…" I could only say but that would make him go faster and harder.
It hurt. It hurt like hell. I felt my body tense up.
'Don't tense, don't tense.' I told myself.
He pulled out of me and flipped me over so my head was on the bed. He wiped some more lube on and stuck his member in me. He pushed into me harder. He went in and out faster than in the other position.
I screamed in pain. All I heard in response was a chuckle that escaped his lips. I could feel his breath on my back. I could feel his body heat on mine. I cried more. He leaned to my ear and said "I told you I loved you more than him."
He was mad that's why he's doing this to me. I know it's all my fault. He flipped me over again now making me face him. His face was all sweaty. He had a smirk on his face. He pushed my legs upper making my back arch so it wouldn't hurt me that much.
He leaned to my face and kissed my lips then said, "you never liked this kind of sex."
I wished it would just be over. He pushed in once more into me then pulled out leaving his sperm in me. I looked at the sheet that I was laying on and sat up seeing blood on them. I had started bleeding. I know he didn't care because I know he liked the site of me in pain just this once. He walked to the mirror in the front of the bed.
"I'm sorry." Was all I could say. He walked out of the room not saying anything not even looking at me. He left me in his room alone.
'I never meant to hurt you. This pain I can't bare. Why do I always have to bare this pain alone? No one has ever loved me. I was always alone. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really real or not. Am I just someone in someone's dream? Am I Someone who would be deleted whenever some ones wish. These tears are just a symbol of weakness. Its sight it horrible. I try not to cry. I try not to be mean. I always ended up being cold. I always ended up alone. I tried to be like everyone, but friends come and go. They betray you call you backstabbers and hate you. That's why I trust no one. I live with these self inflicted scars on me. Slit wrist scars always will be there. I'm good for nothing. I'm good for nothing! I'm only good to cause people pain and suffering. These scars in my body will heal but not the ones unseen. I try to forget but every thing just comes back. I want to forget my past but yet remember. I know that I not worth anything to anyone. I'm worthless. I even cut myself just to feel pain to know if I'm even real. I'm a sick person.' Was all I thought when I was in that room, till I cried myself to sleep.
Morning
Normal POV
Yami opened his eyes only to look into Mokuba's which was staring at his.
"You look a lot like Yugi. Can I kiss ya? I like Yugi. He very nice. Are you going to school today? Don't worry Seto left. I'm sorry he hurt you. He's just jealous." Mokuba said.
"It hurts." Yami said in pain.
"Are you going to school?"
"Yea."
"Let's take the limo! I need to go to school too."
School
Yami walked quietly through the halls think to himself. 'You backstabber Yami!' 'He'll never love you, Yugi.' 'Stop Seto!' Those sentences repeated over and over in his head.
He looked at the floor while he was walking. He tired to smile as hard as he could, but he couldn't. Yami just sighed to himself and walked till he bumped into the person he didn't want to see right now.
"Seto…" Yami said looking up from the ground and at his face.
"Yami….listen I have to talk to you about something."
"What is it?" Yami said in a small sad tone.
"Let's break up. Our relationship won't work out. We only hurt each other." Seto said looking at his face.
"I…" Yami's world just hit rock bottom. Not only did his love rape him, but now he's breaking up with him for a stupid misunderstanding. Yami could forgive him for the other thing but not this. He tried to hard to forgive him this morning and he dumps him like a piece of shit. What will he do now? Will he say what he truly feels or let his love of his life walk away?
To be continued
A/N: I know that was a really short chapter and it sucked. Yes I know that I barely got them back to together and now look what happened. Poor Yami I still have so much in store for you. If at least 2 people review I'll post chapter 5 by this WEEKEND. I PROMISE. I'm sorry about the rape scene, I know it sucked and I rewrote it so many times, I just put this one. If you're wondering Why Mokuba said that, yes he likes Yugi. I had to make him an important chapter because something happens in the next chapter that involves him. Now PLEASE REVIEW. Tell me what you hate tell me what you like.
Now to the people who reviewed my story in chapter 3,
My friends: thank you for reading it.
catey : I promise I'll keep writing
Iceman619: Thank you so much
AnimeLvr: Thank you too. I will continue.
Kero: You not getting some
Kawaii Chibi Yami: Sorry I hurt yami a lot. Hehehhe their my fav couple too.