The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear
Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.
A/N: Just as I promised. Here it is. I was writing this when I was listening to Gackt "Lust For Blood" and L'arc-en-ciel- "Neo Universe." I encourage you people to buy their CDS they are awesome. Also to buy Glay and x-Japan. Well its Monday, May 31, 2004; still the weekend for me. So I'll post it today. Just so you people know this chapter won't be happy.
To my reviews on chapter 4.
Kero-chan- thanks
Iceman619- thanks again. I also think the Yugi is like that. HEHEHE
Kawaii Chibi Yami - Hehehe I love Yami angst too!
Darker Light - thanks. I won't change.
AnimeLvr – I'm sorry. Don't cry.
To my reviewers I love to hear what you like and all. Thanks
Chapter 5: Too Much Pain to Handle
"Let's break up. Our relationship won't work out. We only hurt each other." Seto said looking at his face.
"I…" Yami's world just hit rock bottom. Not only did his love rape him, but now he's breaking up with him for a stupid misunderstanding. Yami could forgive him for the other thing but not this. He tried to hard to forgive him this morning and he dumps him like a piece of shit.
"Hahahahaha…" Yami laughed.
"You got to be kidding me. To end our relationship after everything you put me through last night and for a stupid thing. Its not like I slept with Yugi, all I fuckin' did was hold he hand and comfort him. Not like you; you fuckin' FUCKED Joey. Damn! Why do you have to be so fuckin' jealous?! That's your stupid weakness; you get too jealous over stupid things!"
"Yami calm down. I know I might be stupid be I won't allow someone like you to cheat on me!"
"Some one like me? What's that suppose to fuckin mean?!" Yami said shouting.
"I mean someone who fuckin pretends to love someone, but loves someone else!"
"O yea right! If I fuckin loved Yugi I would be with him and not you! You don't even know me that well even though we were together for about 3 years. Since the end of our first year in High school. And now look at us. I guess we aren't meant to be together. You're so right all we do if fuckin hurt each other. I think we should never see each other again. So if you leave me now it's the end of everything. The end of our friendship, love and hope. I just can't understand what goes through your head anymore. I thought I knew what you were feeling; what went through your head and heart. I guess I was just tricking myself. I was just telling myself everything was gonna be ok. That we will be together forever, but forever is a long time. It might not even exist. I was being stupid and ignoring the signs. I just hoped that you would love me back like I loved you. But I was so wrong. So leave and don't come to me anymore because we have no reason to. It's over. You wanted it to be over so it's over. Just leave." Yami said now turned away from Seto so his back was facing him. Yami took out a pack of cigarettes that he had brought early. I open the new pack and took one thin white cigarette out and put it in his parted lips. Yami took out his green lighter and lit his cigarette. He puffed it and blew out exhaled the smoke.
"Well, leave."
"Yami, stop smoking you're going to get sick." Seto said putting his hand on his shoulder.
"What I do is none of your concern now!" Yami push his cigarette on Seto's shoulder. Putting it out.
"Ow, why the fuck did you do that?!"
"Later, Kaiba." Yami said walking away waving his hand at him with his back still turn to Seto.
Yami walked down the hall lighting another cigarette. He laughed to himself. He always laughed to hind his pain.
He walked looking out side the side windows on the wall of the school.
"Yami!" He heard a familiar voice call.
"What Yugi?" He said already recognizing the voice.
"We need to talk."
"Like I said before what."
"Well, if you stop walking maybe I could talk to you."
"Maybe I don't want to listen."
"You are a backstabber Yami."
"Me? A Backstabber? Hahahahahaha. Come one Yugi. Last time I checked I fuckin saved you from an angry Kaiba! And now I'm a Fuckin BACKSTABBER!" Yami said stopping and throwing his cigarette at Yugi.
"When did you start smoking? I lived with you and I didn't know you smoked."
"Well, you were never there. You always left to be with Joey because you thought I was with Kaiba 24/7. I was always home, meanwhile you played duel monsters with that stupid blonde. And you had the nerve to say you loved me when you knew it would just break up my relationship with Seto. You don't love me. I'm just an important friend you don't want to let go of. All you just want is to have someone to say I love you to. You like the idea of being in love but you just love the idea your not sure if you're ready to be in love. You just don't want to be lonely. I know you very well Yugi. So if you don't want me to be with Seto, so you won't lose me. But guess what where ever we are even if we are apart, we will still be together. So stop being a snotty little brat."
"But I do love you Yami. I do."
"Stop lying. Then why do you want to move out."
"How do you know? I didn't tell anyone other then…"
"Joey. Next time don't talk to loud."
"But…I do…I do love you…"
"Like I said stop lying. Later Yugi. I got things to think about. And congrates Seto and I are over. I hope you're happy."
"Yami…I'm still leaving."
"Go ahead."
Yami walked away from Yugi not saying another word. He had it with everyone.
Time passed and it was lunch already. He went where all his "friends" and he hanged.
They all laid down on the ground not saying a word.
"What's with you guys?" Yami asked.
"Nothing…just don't have anything to talk about." Joey said looking at the sky.
"Well then I should leave. I rather be alone."
"Later Yami…" They said.
Yami walked to the place where he first talked to Seto. He sat at the base of the tree.
"What happened? Why did it end like this? Too much questions but never enough answers. What happen to our friendship? Now all we do is call each other back stabbers. It hurts. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I just want to make everything the same as it was before. Then no more pain or sorrow." Yami said, but this time he wasn't the only one to bare the pain alone. There were two others.
"I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I don't! I was so in love with him. But once he said that I didn't love him, I couldn't hold back these feelings I hid inside of me for so long. I loved him, I trusted him. I want everything to be back as it was. I want him to love me." Yami said holding back the tears.
"I won't cry for him no more." He already had a cigarette lit to smoke right away. He inhaled and exhaled the smoke. The bell rang not to long ago but he didn't care. He smoked when he had stress or when he was sad/mad.
"So you're ditching class to smoke. Shame on you Yami." A soft of tall brunet said looking at Yami. Yami didn't say a word he just kept smoking.
"I heard you and Seto broke up. Sorry about that."
"I don't need you pity."
"Are you sad?"
"No…what's it to you anyways?"
"Nothing, I was just wondering. You're not going to try and commit suicide again, are you?"
"No, he's not worth it."
"So now you're single."
"Yeah…"
"Wanna give me a try."
"Yami huffed another puff of smoke into his mouth.
Anzu walked fast up to Yami and kissed him.
Meanwhile at the second story window of the school were 3 friends of Anzu watching her kiss Yami.
"Hehehe she did it." One girl said.
"I can't believe it. What a slut! She knows he barely broke up with Kaiba." The other said.
"His lost…every girl wants Yami." The blonde girl said.
"My lost…. Huh…"
"Kaiba…I…we…mean…look…"The blonde girl said pointing at Anzu and Yami kissing.
Yami exhaled the smoke that was in his mouth into Anzu's.
"Yea…right. I'm heartbroken not desperate." Yami said getting up. He turned to look at the window where Seto was standing. He licked his lips at him then leaving.
"You guys are broken up, right?" One girl said.
"Yea…" Seto said walking away.
Meanwhile with Yugi
'You don't love me. I'm just an important friend you don't want to let go of. All you just want is to have someone to say I love you to. You like the idea of being in love but you just love the idea your not sure if you're ready to be in love. You just don't want to be lonely.' Yugi thought.
"I'm not in love. He's right." Yugi said with a sigh.
"Hey Yugi!" Mokuba said handing a soda to Yugi.
"Ditching too."
"Yea…class is boring."
"Are you sad?"
"Why do you ask?"
"You look so sad Yugi. What's a matter?"
"Nothing…."
"You sure…."
"Yea…it's just Yami said so many things about me I didn't even know." Tears ran down his face.
"Yugi…."Mokuba was holding Yugi.
"He was so right. I don't love him. He's just an important friend. I was just lying to myself. I just want someone to love me and that I could say I love you to." Yugi said crying.
"I...love you Yugi." Mokuba said looking at Yugi in the face.
"Stop kidding with me. I'm serious."
"So am I. look I'll tell you I love you in 3 more different languages. Je T'aime, Te Amo and Aishiteru. "
"Mokuba…I didn't know."
"I was afraid you wouldn't love me back. Please Yugi love me back." Mokuba said looking down.
"Mokuba…I will." Yugi said kissing him.
It was Mokuba's first kiss. He didn't know how to kiss. He pressed his lips hand on Yugi's. He pushed Yugi onto the floor, still kissing him.
"I promise I will never hurt you like Seto hurt Yami…"
"What!? How did he hurt Yami?!"
"Damn…I forgot…I wasn't suppose to say anything." Mokuba said sitting up and putting his hand on his head.
"Tell me Mokuba."
"Well, last night when Seto pulled Yami in the house. They went straight to his room. He pushed Yami onto the bed. And forced him to have sex with him. I was in shock…I couldn't stop him. Yami was crying and yelling for him to stop but he wouldn't. I didn't know what I could do, so I didn't do anything but watch. I'm sorry Yugi."
"Poor Yami…I made him go through so much pain. It's all my fault."
"No…it's not."
"But it is…I know it is. I'm so stupid!"
"Mokuba…what am I suppose to do."
"Forget…just forget…"
"But…I can't…"
"Just love me and everything will be ok. I promise."
8 months past
Yugi had moved out and Mokuba had moved out of his house. Now Mokuba and Yugi lived together.
Yami was out smoking and drinking at a parlor. He was raining tonight. He started to walk home. He couldn't forget about the things that happened in the past months.
He wondered about how Yugi and Mokuba were, but mostly about Seto. He still loved him. It wasn't easy to forget about someone you love.
'But guess what where ever we are even if we are apart, we will still be together.'
"That's so true. Even if I don't want to be near him. I'm always with him, even though it's no physically. You and I were still one. We both still have all of each other. I still loved you as a friend Yugi"
Yami got to his house and went up to the room that he once shared with Yugi.
My Immortal by Evascence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childhood fears
If you have to leave
I wish that you will just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Chorus 1
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Chorus 2
You cried I wiped a way all of your tears
You screamed I fight a way all of your fears
I held your hand through of these years
You still have all of me
You used to captivate me
Bu you resonating mind
Now I'm bounded by the life you left behind
You face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
You cried I wiped a way all of your tears
You screamed I fight a way all of your fears
I held your hand through of these years
You still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But thought you're still with me
I've been alone all along
You cried I wiped a way all of your tears
You screamed I fight a way all of your fears
I held your hand through of these years
You still have all of me
Me ahh me ahh me
END SONG
"I miss you, Yugi but I miss Seto more. O Seto…I still love you. Seto come to me."
Tears came down from Yami's eyes.
At Seto's house
"Yami, what are you doing now. I wonder. I wish I was with you. I'm so stupid. I can't believe I believed stupid Joey that Yugi liked Yami. I should have ignored him that day and left. But Yami left his bag and since Joey said that to me outside of their house I thought it was true. I'm so stupid."
"Aishiteru, Yami. I can't stop it." Seto blinked making tears roll out of his sad eyes.
Birdcage by Gackt
Inside of the light, I saw my youthful memories
They're still too far for me, filthy as I am now
Inside of the darkness, I called your name over and over again
Inside of the endless time, there's no one but you
I lock myself up, unable to even stone
I can't do anything but pray…my sadness is not cured
I tore off a single damp petal from a hydrangea
It floats in a puddle, and I remember you
In the evening just after the rain, I faintly heard the far off whistle of a ship
For some reason, it made me sad
If I can't be forgiven, then everything can disappear
The sadness and the pain, to the world that doesn't need anything
I lock myself up, unable to even stone
I can't do anything but pray…my sadness is not cured
From the gently crying sky, I also heard your voice
I laughed through the gathering tears, but I couldn't see anything.
Inside of the light, I saw my youthful memories
They're still too far for me, filthy as I am now
Inside of the darkness, I called your name over and over again
Inside of the endless time, there's no one but you
End Song
meanwhile with Yugi and Mokuba
They had be out for a long time now. They had barely came from a bar and were laughing like crazy. The weren't drunk because they weren't they for the bar. They were there to have an exiting rush. (Know what I mean.)
"I love you Mokuba."
"I love you, too."
Mokuba and Yugi kissed not looking at the road.
"Watch out!" Yugi yelled.
This little kid was in the middle of the street picking up his ball.
Mokuba swilled to the right missing the kid. The floor was slippery from the rain making the compacted car turn over.
They both yelled. The rain poured down on the now turned over car.
To be continued.
Well what do you think. I know its short. I just couldn't help but put a Gackt song. I love him. Well you know what to do. REVIEW TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER. AND see what happens. Sorry i had 2 songs. I'm sorry for being late in updating. But right now its 12;19 am, so please forgive my misstakes. I looked and read over it so i hope there aren't many. ok LOVE YA ALL. PLEASE REVIEW