The Pain I Feel; The Song I Hear
Disclaimer: I don't own any thing of Yugioh or the song.
I'm so sorry it's been more than 2 months. I've been really busy. I'm sorry for making you wait for a long time. Well, I got to go to the ANIME EXPO in Anaheim. YEA! It was awesome. I also had summer school. Bummer. It was for FIVE hours. I also turn 15. Well on with the story. I promise it will be long. Sorry for the long wait again. My Internet was refusing to connect. P.S. I also rewrote many times.
Chapter 6: Goodbye my love
The rain pours hard onto the flipped over car. The tri-color haired boy comes out of the passenger seat of the car injured. He looks around for his love as he gets out of the car.
"Mokuba…" He yells.
The rain hits his head hard. Yugi woggles to the driver's seat.
"Mokuba…" Yugi yells with wide eyes at the sight of Mokuba's bloody body.
"Are you alive, Mokuba! Mokuba open your eyes." Yugi cried.
"Please o please open them. Don't die! Please don't die!!" Tears rapidly came down the bloody faces Yugi. He pulls Mokuba out of the front seat just to see his serious head wound. Yugi holds Mokuba in his arms; his grip tightening every second.
"Mokuba, my love, please open your eyes….."
my last breath by Evanescence
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you
And I'm not afraid (Ooo)
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
"…Y-Yugi…"
"Mokuba, don't die on me!"
cough "I'm….err…sorry Yugi should…have told you that I l…l…love you more cough…often."
"Mokuba please oh please don't go!" Yugi screamed holding him tight.
"It's my entire fault." Yugi cried.
"No, its not."
"Yes it is its all because I asked you to go on this date with me. If I didn't ask I wouldn't have to lose you."
"But I said yes so it's not your fault. It's no bodies fault. It just happens. I was happy I took you from Yami, you were his light and I took you from him. Then you become the brightest light in my life. I love you so much. I'm gonna miss being with you through the seasons. I'll miss touching your skin and kissing your gentle lips."
"I'll miss you, too."
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile thing
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you can hear me
I can taste your tears
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
"Mokuba, I'm sorry….." Tears fell endlessly out of his eyes.
"…I don't want you to die."
"I'm not afraid so you shouldn't be either. Soon I will draw my last breath. My love my phone it was under my seat you should get it and call for help. Tell my brother and the others I love them. Tell my brother that don't be sad; that I died happy. Everything is going to be okay. I wanted my last breath to tell you that…."
"Tell me what Mokuba! Please hang on. Don't leave me here all alone. I won't ever have anyone like you that makes me happy. I can never love any one other than you. .Mokuba you're the only one for me!"
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dream will leave you here
But you still woke and know the truth
No one's there!
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me,
Calling me,
As you fade black
Say goodnight
"I…." Yugi was stopped by Mokuba's cold bloody lips.
"Yugi, I know you will love again. Don't be sad. Love someone else. You have a lot of love you give. I know you can. Don't dolt on me, live your life to the fullest. You made me the happiest person in the world and made my life worth living. I'm glade I was even able to love you and be loved by you. Many people love you. I'm glad you chose me. Now don't cry. Be strong for me. Don't cry for me anymore. I love you so much and I always did. I'm happy to die in your arms. I'm glad I met you. Mokuba's cold almost lifeless hand held Yugi's hand tightly."
"I'm glad I met you and loved you too, Moki."
"I…l-l-love…you...Yu-gi…."Mokuba drew his last breath. His hands grip disappeared.
Holding my last breath (don't be afraid)
Safe inside myself (calling me, calling me)
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
Holding my last breath
"Mokuba, I love you too." Yugi shaked his lifeless body.
"Mo…ku…ba…NOooooooooooooooooo!" Yugi yelled crying.
"How can I ever love someone again after I killed the one I loved so deeply?!"
Yugi hugged Mokuba's body. That was the end of there love.
Yugi looked down at Mokuba. He leaned into his face. He laid a gentle kiss on his lips. Rain drops fell on his face and blended with his tears.
"Good night, my love." He laid him on the ground and got up. He walked to the turned over car. He searched for the phone Mokuba talked about.
He dialed Seto Kaiba's number. The phone rang and rang till he picked it up.
"Ahh Mokuba, you finally called me. It's been a long time. I was getting worried. I thought something bad happen to you because I got a band feeling, but hear you are calling me. Mokuba, you there?"
"What…?" he heard the person on the other line crying.
"Mokuba…?"
"Stop saying his name, Kaiba. Mokuba's dead. He just died.." Yugi just heard the phone drop to the ground. Yugi just hung up.
Seto's POV
"Mokuba is dead…?" Just ran through my head over and over.
'I felt my heart drop and my stomach hurt. I felt empty. My hands were shaking and my head hurting. I knew this feeling but from where. It was the feeling of having no one.
No one at all.
END Seto POV
back to Yugi
Yugi dialed the only other number he knew.
"Yami…" he said into the phone.
"Yes. That's me."
"Yugi….."
"No I'm sorry he doesn't live here anymore. Who's this?"
"Yami..."
"Yes."
"It's...me Yugi…"
Yami smiled, but retreat to a sad smile very fast. Yami knew something must be wrong since they haven't talked since 8 months ago. That night he experienced so much pain , but he had to learn to forgive them because he loved them both.
"Yugi, what's wrong? Did something bad happen? Yami said knowing that something DID happen but still had to make sure.
"Mokuba…"
"Mokuba…?????" Yami said.
'O yeah they were dating. Did they break up?' Yami thought
"He died…….." Yugi started to cry on the phone. The pain just took over him.
"Yugi are you there? Where are you? I'll go pick u up."
"Bye…" Yugi hung up. He couldn't face him after all.
"Oh crap does Seto…..I mean Kaiba know." Yami said sinking to the floor and holding his knees to his chest, his head buried in them. Yami had barely forgot about it and know is came up again. He finally that he had peace but not anymore. He felt so bad. His heart started to hurt unbearably again.
"I keep forgetting he doesn't love me anymore. If I call him he might get mad. I know it."
Yami said getting watery eyes.
"They don't need me. I don't matter to anyone." He said sinking into a deep depression.
Suddenly a knock on the door; Yami ignored it at first, but the knocking got louder. Yami rose to his feet and walked through his lonely house. He opened the door wiping his tears from his eyes. Two arms came from the open door; they wrapped around Yami's waist. His grip was so tight it seemed like if he didn't hold Yami he would die.
"Kaiba! You're here and soakin wet." Yami said pulling him inside of his house.
""Yami, Mokuba is dead....I didn't know who to turn to. I'm….sorry. I just had to run and so I ran and found myself at your house. I stood outside thinking if I should knock. It took me a while to get the strength to know and when I wanted to stop I couldn't….I just kept knocking till you answered." He said letting Yami go.
"I don't have anyone to turn to, Yami. No one but you. But I'll leave if you want me too." Kaiba said walking toward the door.
"No, please don't go I mean….you can stay." Yami said grabbing Seto by the waist. He leaned his head on Seto's Back.
"But…I did many bad things to you eight months ago. I yelled at you, said mean things, didn't believe you, left you alone, ignored you, but worse of all I…raped you. I have no right to ask forgiveness from you. I don't even have a right to even come to you. The last eight months that was all I thought about. I'm really sorry. I was so stupid. I'm not asking you to love me again nor to stop hating me for what I did, but I just can't go on living without letting you know my true feelings." Yami's heart started to pound like crazy.
"I thought about it a lot. I need you to know what my feelings are, because you or I could die any day or any moment and I would regret not letting you know….I love you. I'm sorry I was so stupid. I'm sorry for being jealous and I'm sorry for what I did." Kaiba said turning to Yami with teary eyes.
Yami looked down and said, "Kaiba…its ok. Right now it's not the time to talk about that. I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Cause I hurt you and Yugi!" Yami said letting go of Kaiba.
"Don't be stupid, Yami. We were the ones who hurt you."
"Heh, I tried blaming both of you for the pain I am feeling, but I can't put such a blame on you two. I thought about suicide, but when I put a razor to my wrist, I get scared. I see my old scars that are there the pain comes strong. It hurts, but it's funny that I try to forget it but when I think all I think about is what happens those months ago. I lay down to sleep, but I close my eyes; I have nightmares. I cry myself to sleep. I hate myself because I'm weak and that I hurt you and Yugi."
"How did you hurt us?! Tell me Yami because I just don't see how you hurt us! It's not your fault. Its mine! I made everything go wrong! I was the one who force myself on you. I was the one who misunderstood. It's my fault!" Seto screamed
"Seto….its mine. I never paid attention to Yugi's feelings. I just rubbed my feeling for you in his face. He was my light; now that his gone I'm lost in darkness. I hurt him. I'm so lonely. I hate this feeling. I never asked to be born in this horrible world. I never asked to be reborn. I hate life, I don't want to live! Not now, not here. I don't care if I never met everyone. I just don't care anymore. I just want this pain to go away." Yami said looking the floor.
"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry you have to feel that way but you're not alone. I feel the same. I think….no I mean I know I still love you. No matter how hard I try to forget you or these feeling for you, I know that you probably don't love or even care for me anymore, but I can't help myself. I was the one who broke up with you; that was stupid of me. When I realized the pain I caused you I couldn't look at you. It hurt sow the pain I caused you, but the worst thing was that I enjoyed it. I couldn't stop myself. I was jealous and I was scared that you would choose Yugi instead of me. I was scared. I'm sorry."
"You know I would never ever pick anyone over you. You meant a lot to me. And if that ever happen it would be 1 out of a billion."
"But I was afraid that he would be that 1in a billion. And it seems like your feelings changed. Since ment is past tense."
"Seto, I…can't be with anyone anymore. All I do is hurt them…." Yami said.
"…and they hurt me." He murmured.
"It's because of me isn't it? You found someone else? Is it one of those?"
"Seto, its not you …it's…"
"Don't give that 'its not you it's me' Bullshit!"
"I'm not! You didn't even let me finish my fucking sentence!" I was going to say its not you its just I don't feel up to any kind of a relationship Right now we are just friends and I'll stand by your side and help you with the pain for Mokuba's death."
"So its over, we can't ever have our old relationship back, can we? It's because what I did; you're scared of me. You hate me. You see me as a monster. But we all make
mistakes. And now you can't forgive me? You're the first person I loved. You're the first person who cared for me. You didn't care if I had money or that I was good looking; you didn't even care if we had sex or not. You just wanted me, not because I owed my own company. I was so happy and it seemed you were too, but I ruined everything. I ruin our relationship and your friendship with Yugi. I ruin ours lives. That's all I'm good for."
"Seto that's not true." Yami grabbed Seto by his shoulders.
"Yes it is. I need you to love me Yami. I need to have you by my side, hate grows fast, and now that you hate me I see no reason to live anymore. I can't blame you. I just wanted to be loved by the person who loved me, again. But I should be thankful that I had the chance to experience undying love, but undying love is something hard to forget. But it's undying. I'm greedy, selfish and inconsiderate of people's feelings. I always want to get what I want. I don't care what the other person is thinking or feeling, as long as it's not me feeling the pain. But with you its different, I rather carry the burden and feel the pain then have you feel it. I always push people away, but you stood there and held my hand; you never let go no matter how hard I pushed you away. Please don't let it go now.
I was thinking when were we're apart about the promise we made and you said that maybe forever was just too long. You were wrong, forever is not just too long, and it's too short. Even though no one ever asks to be born, things happen. You were born because you have a destiny to fulfill; you met a lot of people and felt many emotions other than sorrow. Sometime you feel pain but it will go way soon. I promise. That's the reason I'm glad I was born. Because I got to meet the greatest person in the world and I felt the greatest feeling, even though it didn't last long. I don't care as long as I got to experience it. I love you Yami and I'm sorry if I ever said other wise." Seto said putting his hands on Yami's cheek. They lips met in a passionate kiss. Seto pulled away and looked deep into his ex-lovers tear filled violet eyes and smiled a weak sad smile.
"Seto…."
"Shh…I understand." Tears slid from the eyes of Yami.
Yami looked at Seto's blue eyes with his burred vision.
"Seto…" Yami hiccupped.
Seto wiped away his tears and place a small gentle kiss on his lips.
Yami closed his eyes as he embraced the gentle kiss. Their lips parted as they looked at each other's eyes, searching for the answers the longed for. Seto embraced Yami tightly, their bodies press together.
"Seto…I…I…."
Suddenly some music began to play. They pulled apart form each other. Yami ran to the table and grabbed his cell phone, the cause of the music. He answered his phone ending the pleasant melody.
"Moshi Moshi."
"Hello, can I speak to Yami Yugi."
"You're talking to him."
"I'm calling from the hospital…."
Seto looked at Yami talking on the phone. Mokuba had dies and Seto tired not to think of it. He was trying to be strong and handle this carefully. Yugi was with Mokuba and he was sure that Yugi was still in a shock as much as he was.
"Yes, I'll go right away."
"What happen?"
"Yugi is in the hospital getting treated. They have Mokuba. Seto come with me so you can claim your brother's body and to see Yugi. Please you're not alone."
"Haha…Not alone, yea right. I'm not going. I don't want claim his body. I don't want to do anything. Just leave me alone." Seto's eyes were cold and empty. There was no sight of any warmth.
"I hate him. Why did he have to die? Why couldn't I die in his place? He was barely 17. we were barely in high school. He was such a smart kid. They skipped him to my grade. He left me alone, and left with Yugi. I notice the things you lose in life don't just disappear in thin are, someone takes them! I'm not ready to see him. He can't be dead. He can't!" Seto turned and ran to the door. He opened it and ran out. Yami ran after Seto without hesitation. The rain poured down hard. The two boys ran in the rain, one slightly ahead of the other. Yami ran as fast as he could, but so did Seto.
"Seto…" Yami screamed.
Seto tired to run faster but he couldn't.
'No one loves me. I'm all alone now.' He thought.
"No one loves me! You don't even love me. You're scared of me or what I would do! Go away!"
Seto screamed.
"Seto wait I …" Yami tripped and feel into a puddle of water. His vision burred as he saw the tall figure disappear.
"I do love you. I'm not afraid of you or what you would do. I'm just afraid of getting hurt again."
Chapter end
Well I'm sorry for the long wait. I'm tired and sick and I have a tennis game. This chapter has most of my feeling of life and love. My arguments that I have with myself. I haven't been feeling any good lately. I cut myself again. Stupid ain't I. Well I suck at writing. I'm sry for making this chapter kinda short. It was like 5 more pages longer but I got tired of typing and I thought I'll make that a different chapter. I wrote this chapter in June. But I couldn't type it up cause I had no time. I thought about the songs and I thought I'll put this one again. As for Seto and Yami well poor them. I hope you like it. Please review even if you hate it. If you hate it tell me what you hate about it. But don't just say it sucks tell me why. Ok later Melissa a.k.a Nina