The Bloody Baron's Bloodiness
AN:
I'm BAAAACK, and I still do not own HP.
"HI! We're back after an incredibly long absence! But unfortunally, we had some technical difficulities. You see..." Sirius said babbling.
"He insulted the Frying Pan Lady... which resulted in her becoming angry," Lily sighed as Sirius continued to talk apparently oblivious to the fact that Lily was explaining the same situation in fewer words.
" ...and then..."
"She gets scary when she's angry. She stole Sirius's vocal chords and hid them, it took us two months to find them, and then two more months to figure out how to get them back into his body," James explained.
" ... of course...."
"I'm beginning to think we shouldn't have put them back in... It was the quietest four months we've had since he died," Lily said regretably.
"... but..."
"I personally think it was a good idea, he stopped hitting us to get our attention now... he punches hard when he's annoyed," James replied.
"HEY! Even though I'm talking doesn't mean that I'm not listening to you two bad talking me!" Sirius exclaimed.
Lily pointed her wand at Sirius and said, "Silencio"
Sirius tried to talk but failed and settled for glaring at Lily.
"Lils, you do realize that he has to help us tell the story?" James sighed.
"Are you sure? Its so nice without the constant chattering in the background don't you think?" Lily asked conversationally.
Sirius threw around some Whizbangs to make noise and a lightshow for him.
Lily blinked, "How did he get those?"
"No idea..."
Sirius tapped his foot impatiently pointing to his throat.
"Will you promise to shut up when someone else is talking?" Lily asked.
Sirius shook his head.
"Fine... you can stay like that, I can ignore fireworks."
Sirius gestured angrily at the woman.
"Padfoot, remember in our sixth year when she said she she could outwait us at anything and you chose bathing? Remember what happened?" James grinned at the memory.
Sirius glared angrily at James.
Lily snickered, "That was an ammusing year..."
"SIX MONTHS Padfoot..."
Sirius crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
"And this has the added bonus of no one getting incredibly smelly besides the fireworks. They are pretty cool," she grinned.
"Give up Sirius. For everyone's sanity, I beg of you," James said getting on his knees and putting his hands together.
Sirius sighed and nodded.
"Finite Incantum. Now was that all that hard?" Lily asked continueing to grin.
"Yes. But I would like to be able to talk before the New Year," Sirius muttered
"Do you realize how off topic you've all gone?" The Infamous Voice From Above asked.
"Yes, is that a problem?" Sirius asked.
"Why are you looking down?" Lily asked.
"Because that voice said that it was ammused when I looked up when addressing it and it wasn't there. Something that evil must be in hell," Sirius explained.
"I'm not underneith you either. You do realize that hell is not down but merely in another dimension? And if I were in hell why aren't you with all the pranks you played?" The Infamous Voice From Above asked.
"Because I am incredibly good looking, was punished for twelve years for crimes I did not commit, and I appear to have a body," Sirius replied.
"Remember what happened the last time you insulted a being that you do not have to be in the same general area to be able to hear?" James reminded him.
"Good point, Sorry."
"Appology accepted, now get back on topic. You are supposed to be explaining why the Bloody Baron is bloody," The Infamous Voice From Above demanded.
"You do realize that you were helping in the distraction just now?" Sirius asked.
"Just tell the dratted story."
"What if I don't want to?" Sirius asked smartly.
"Lily, would you do the honors?" The Infamous Voice From Above questioned the red-headed witch.
"Gladly, Silencio"
"I don't know why I even try..." James said shaking his head.
The Infamous Voice From Above prompted "The story???"
"Oh... right... sorry about that..." Lily said.
"Well everyone knows about the Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost, and the only one truely able to control Peeves... " James started
"And everyone is always wondering how he became so bloody, they all assume that he was murdering someone..." Lily continued.
Sirius sulked.
"...Or was..." James said.
Lily whispered "Finite Incantum"
"... in some battle when he died."
"The story is actually kind of funny. The Bloody Baron, whose name was actualy Baron Nigel Warington, was anticipating his daughter's wedding," Lily said normally.
"He wanted to help out with the wedding so he decided to help the cooks butcher the large hog they were going to have for the wedding feast..."
Sirius pouted.
"He had a freak accident while cutting up that hog..." Lily continued.
"He was covered in the hog's blood and so the knife he was using was pretty slippery..."
Lily snickered, "Apparently he really got into his work."
James grinned, "The knife slipped and ended up stabbing him in the heart."
"Well the Baron was so surprised that he died he didn't believe it."
"And so he became a ghost. When he went to Hogwarts after he watched his daughter's wedding he didn't tell anyone the way he died," James finished.
Sirius muttered to himself not realizing he'd be heard, "Well duh... Its a humiliating way to die... Hey! I heard myself!"
"I took the charm off a while ago, didn't you hear?" Lily asked sweetly.
"WHA? I wanted to tell the story, I could have told the story, and I didn't??? NOOOOOO!"
"You are absolutely evil Lils," James said.
Lily grinned broadly, "Thank you."
"You've gone over your time limit, ACTUALLY you went over your time limit back when you were argueing with me. Say goodbye to the nice people," The Infamous Voice From Above said.
"Goodbye to the nice people..." Everyone said.
James whispered to Sirius before the author stopped typing, "I think we've converted her to our side..."
AN:
please review...
AN:
I'm BAAAACK, and I still do not own HP.
"HI! We're back after an incredibly long absence! But unfortunally, we had some technical difficulities. You see..." Sirius said babbling.
"He insulted the Frying Pan Lady... which resulted in her becoming angry," Lily sighed as Sirius continued to talk apparently oblivious to the fact that Lily was explaining the same situation in fewer words.
" ...and then..."
"She gets scary when she's angry. She stole Sirius's vocal chords and hid them, it took us two months to find them, and then two more months to figure out how to get them back into his body," James explained.
" ... of course...."
"I'm beginning to think we shouldn't have put them back in... It was the quietest four months we've had since he died," Lily said regretably.
"... but..."
"I personally think it was a good idea, he stopped hitting us to get our attention now... he punches hard when he's annoyed," James replied.
"HEY! Even though I'm talking doesn't mean that I'm not listening to you two bad talking me!" Sirius exclaimed.
Lily pointed her wand at Sirius and said, "Silencio"
Sirius tried to talk but failed and settled for glaring at Lily.
"Lils, you do realize that he has to help us tell the story?" James sighed.
"Are you sure? Its so nice without the constant chattering in the background don't you think?" Lily asked conversationally.
Sirius threw around some Whizbangs to make noise and a lightshow for him.
Lily blinked, "How did he get those?"
"No idea..."
Sirius tapped his foot impatiently pointing to his throat.
"Will you promise to shut up when someone else is talking?" Lily asked.
Sirius shook his head.
"Fine... you can stay like that, I can ignore fireworks."
Sirius gestured angrily at the woman.
"Padfoot, remember in our sixth year when she said she she could outwait us at anything and you chose bathing? Remember what happened?" James grinned at the memory.
Sirius glared angrily at James.
Lily snickered, "That was an ammusing year..."
"SIX MONTHS Padfoot..."
Sirius crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
"And this has the added bonus of no one getting incredibly smelly besides the fireworks. They are pretty cool," she grinned.
"Give up Sirius. For everyone's sanity, I beg of you," James said getting on his knees and putting his hands together.
Sirius sighed and nodded.
"Finite Incantum. Now was that all that hard?" Lily asked continueing to grin.
"Yes. But I would like to be able to talk before the New Year," Sirius muttered
"Do you realize how off topic you've all gone?" The Infamous Voice From Above asked.
"Yes, is that a problem?" Sirius asked.
"Why are you looking down?" Lily asked.
"Because that voice said that it was ammused when I looked up when addressing it and it wasn't there. Something that evil must be in hell," Sirius explained.
"I'm not underneith you either. You do realize that hell is not down but merely in another dimension? And if I were in hell why aren't you with all the pranks you played?" The Infamous Voice From Above asked.
"Because I am incredibly good looking, was punished for twelve years for crimes I did not commit, and I appear to have a body," Sirius replied.
"Remember what happened the last time you insulted a being that you do not have to be in the same general area to be able to hear?" James reminded him.
"Good point, Sorry."
"Appology accepted, now get back on topic. You are supposed to be explaining why the Bloody Baron is bloody," The Infamous Voice From Above demanded.
"You do realize that you were helping in the distraction just now?" Sirius asked.
"Just tell the dratted story."
"What if I don't want to?" Sirius asked smartly.
"Lily, would you do the honors?" The Infamous Voice From Above questioned the red-headed witch.
"Gladly, Silencio"
"I don't know why I even try..." James said shaking his head.
The Infamous Voice From Above prompted "The story???"
"Oh... right... sorry about that..." Lily said.
"Well everyone knows about the Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost, and the only one truely able to control Peeves... " James started
"And everyone is always wondering how he became so bloody, they all assume that he was murdering someone..." Lily continued.
Sirius sulked.
"...Or was..." James said.
Lily whispered "Finite Incantum"
"... in some battle when he died."
"The story is actually kind of funny. The Bloody Baron, whose name was actualy Baron Nigel Warington, was anticipating his daughter's wedding," Lily said normally.
"He wanted to help out with the wedding so he decided to help the cooks butcher the large hog they were going to have for the wedding feast..."
Sirius pouted.
"He had a freak accident while cutting up that hog..." Lily continued.
"He was covered in the hog's blood and so the knife he was using was pretty slippery..."
Lily snickered, "Apparently he really got into his work."
James grinned, "The knife slipped and ended up stabbing him in the heart."
"Well the Baron was so surprised that he died he didn't believe it."
"And so he became a ghost. When he went to Hogwarts after he watched his daughter's wedding he didn't tell anyone the way he died," James finished.
Sirius muttered to himself not realizing he'd be heard, "Well duh... Its a humiliating way to die... Hey! I heard myself!"
"I took the charm off a while ago, didn't you hear?" Lily asked sweetly.
"WHA? I wanted to tell the story, I could have told the story, and I didn't??? NOOOOOO!"
"You are absolutely evil Lils," James said.
Lily grinned broadly, "Thank you."
"You've gone over your time limit, ACTUALLY you went over your time limit back when you were argueing with me. Say goodbye to the nice people," The Infamous Voice From Above said.
"Goodbye to the nice people..." Everyone said.
James whispered to Sirius before the author stopped typing, "I think we've converted her to our side..."
AN:
please review...