Chapter Seven

Are you in or are you out?

Scully knew that what she was doing was wrong. Asking Monica on a date, what was she thinking? Scully wondered as she stared at her open closet. Of course she had let things happen between her and Monica after Tara's Haven, but that was when she hadn't seen Olivia again and she had absolutely no hope of seeing her again. But, now that she had stood in the same room with Liv, provided along with her long lost girlfriend, but Liv had kissed her. Kissed her to save her life, but never the less it was a kiss, and it had stirred all the feelings that Scully was certain she had buried them just like the everything else among her piles of paperwork at her office.

But now it had resurfaced and how was she dealing with it, by dragging someone else into it. It wasn't like Scully at all, but whenever Liv was concerned, Scully had never been herself. After all when she started to know Liv, she had ignored all the red flags that Liv clearly showed, she even had at one point discussed with Mulder of moving to NYC just to be near Liv. Something who knew Scully would have never ever believed that she had thought about, but she thought that she was in so much in love that she was willing to give her all, unfortunately it was for a woman who had given her all to someone else. She knew it then, on that night when she had walked out. That was a big part of the reason why she had never called even after she had returned from her abductors.

And now? Alex comfortably back in Liv's life, and her witnessing it first hand, made it easier to go out and move on. Dana told herself as she checked her dress in the mirror.

Before she could put on her make up she heard the doorbell.

"You are early." Dana decided to scream out so that Monica was afore warned that she wasn't completely ready. "That means you can't complain when I make you wait."

Dana had only finished her sentence when the open door revealed her guest, which certainly wasn't Monica.

"Liv!"

"I don't know if I should do this." Alex was fretting in the airport to her friend.

"Yes, you should." Miranda said handing her friend the boarding pass. "Listen to me Alex. You have had too damn easy for too damn long, now its time to fight for what you want. If you love Liv, you fight for her, make sure she knows that you are not letting her go that easily you get it. You get down on your fucking knees if you have to, but let that woman know how important she is to you."

"Yes, yes, I will." Alex replied as though she was answering to a drill sergeant.

"And you are going to do it because I am saying so?" Miranda asked to make sure that she wasn't pushing her friend in the wrong direction.

"No, because I love her." Alex replied knowing full well why Miranda had asked her that. "I do Mir… I love her beyond anything and I will chase her to the other side of the world if I have to, but I'll fight for her."

"Good, now aren't we lucky Washington is only an hour flight and you are catching the very next flight so you'll only be about an hour behind her, and here take this, this is Agent Scully's address that she had looked up in the map quest for direction. Just head right there, and when you see her, give her a piece or two of my mind to, for leaving my best friend." Miranda said as she walked briskly towards the airline gate.

One would think that being a Federal Agent meant that you would have better alertness for the lights sounds etc., now that might have been true for when one is awake, but for this particular Federal Agent, sleep switched off everything around rendering the body dead to the world. But, tonight the caller who was trying to reach was not giving up, even after almost hundred unanswered rings. The phone paused for a moment, and then it started ringing right back again, and this time actually reaching the ear drums of the body lying still.

"Who is it?" The hand had grabbed the annoying invention of Alexandra Grambell and the mouth had yelled at the same time.

"This is Agent Dogget." John replied to the person now fully awake and in full Federal Agent mode.

"No, I am sorry. It's just that there is no case right now that's why I relaxed a little." John tried to make an excuse wondering how long the phone might have rung before he actually heard it.

After that John listened to the caller for a good couple of minutes before saying anything.

"Listen, I am coming right there, call for back-up, and do not, I repeat do not even try to go in." He warned mostly because of concern than as a command, as he got out of the bed and rushed to get out.

"Where is this?" Alex said as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and she could make out another body right in front of her that was breathing as heavily as she was.

"It's my closet." A familiar woman's voice replied.

"Agent Scully?" Alex asked even though she already knew who it was.

"Yes." Dana answered and then as an after thought decided to ask, "What are you doing here?"

"I came after Olivia." Alex replied. Just then she felt the sharp pain in the back of her head and wondered aloud if what she remembered about the cause of the pain was accurate. "Did she actually hit me?"

"Yes." Dana replied as though Olivia hitting her girlfriend, tying her up and stuffing her in the closet with her ex-girlfriend was normal.

"Are you telling me that Detective Olivia Benson, hit me, possibly you too, and tied both of us up and put us in the closet?" Alex asked a little annoyed at the normalcy that she heard in Dana's voice.

"No, Olivia didn't. AJ did. She is in Olivia's body." Dana replied with a little more seriousness this time.

"What?" Alex asked in disbelief.

"Or you can believe that your girlfriend actually hit us and tied us and put us in the closet." Dana replied with no interest in trying to present her case with reasons.

"Are you sure that is AJ and not Detective Benson?" Agent Dogget asked as he followed the woman walking in Agent Scully's apartment with his binoculars.

"I saw her hit ADA Cabot. I don't think Detective Benson would be attacking her girlfriend." Agent Reyes was following the woman with her own binoculars.

"Agent Reyes. Agent Dogget. The long view cam in set up for the window." One of the operative informed them, as they put their binoculars down respectively and walked to where a 27 inch screen that was set up on what they were peering through the lens was now in the screen.

"But, you told me that Agent Scully had previous relation with the Detective. May be this is just a lover's quarrel." Agent Dogget still preferred to find a normal explanation rather than paranormal ones.

"Well, I don't think that Detective Benson would tie them up and put them in the closet for any kind of lover's quarrel." Agent Reyes reasoned.

"She is all alone, why can't we just shoot her and get Agent Scully and ADA Cabot." John asked wondering why the extensive set up was being made.

"We can't do that because that is not AJ's body. We don't want to kill an innocent detective." Monica replied as she watched the screen.

"So, what do we do?" John asked.

"Well, I am hoping that because it was Dana's brilliant idea to zap AJ's brains, which has actually trapped her soul outside her body; I am hoping she'll give me some kind of hint." Monica said as she looked for the officer who had set up the screen. "Excuse me. You think we could get some sound too?" She asked the man.

"We are working on it." He replied.

"Well, if it is indeed AJ then, let me go to the hospital and see if the Doctors can try and get her soul back into her own body." John offered finally giving into Monica's theory. "But, if Scully and Cabot are in the closet how is she going to give you a hint?"

"Can't you see? AJ is preparing dinner, and the place is set for three, I am sure they will be coming out of the closet soon." Yep two gay closeted women will be coming out of the closet. Monica thought just after she spoke and chuckled at the double meaning it provided.

"That's what AJ wanted to do." John said and chuckled too sharing the same thought.

"The only thing I can think of, is that when Liv kissed me, AJ must have transferred to Liv, and just at that moment the Doctors zapped her brains which must have closed her door way, and she was trapped outside."

"But, Liv was in the hospital waiting for me to wake up, it certainly wasn't AJ." Alex said remembering the crying woman by her bedside.

"AJ must have been too weak at first, or Liv might have been too strong for her to take over. Then at a point when Liv might have felt a little vulnerable she must have taken over." Scully reasoned.

Alex remained silent as she knew the reason why Olivia who didn't even flinch at the worst of the worst crime scenes must have been weak for a moment or two. If Olivia had lost herself to a monster in her body then it was certainly because of her. Because she told her to get out of her life. How could she do that? Tears started to form as her heart filled with guilt.

"There is nothing we can do now, except try and get Liv to fight for her body." Scully said noticing that the ADA was almost in tears. "She was in my body, I know how it feels. You are still there, you can see and hear everything that is happening, you just can't command actions. Now, somehow we have to make Olivia want to burst out."

"How do we suppose we do that?" Alex asked though interested but not very optimistically.

"We talk, we talk to Liv. Ask her stuff that she needs to answer?" Scully answered but wasn't sure if she phrased herself right.

"There are few things I want her to answer." Alex confessed as she stared at the older woman.

"I am not the one who lied to you." Scully defended herself knowing exactly what Alex meant.

"But, you covered. You shook her hand as though you two were strangers." Alex complained.

"You know it wasn't my place to tell you anything." Dana replied coldly. "If it's any consolation, she refused to talk about you to me either."

"No, that makes it worse as that means that you meant more than all the one night stands and few flings that she told me about." Alex retorted as though Dana had actually insulted her. "I just get this feeling that she didn't tell me because she was scared I would find out something." Alex voiced her fear for the first time.

"It certainly was more than a fling, but you don't have to worry about anything else, after all she was pinning for you even when you were dead, or as good as dead."

"If that was so then where do you fit in?"

"I don't know and truly I don't care. The bottom line is she chose you."

"Did she?" Alex asked her self as much as she asked Scully. "She told me that you walked out. Why?"

Scully didn't answer; after all she didn't need to answer to Alex as why she walked out. Actually, Alex was the last person she needed to answer to.

"You can tell me, you know. I am not Liv." Alex nudged, as she really wanted to know.

"Because of you." Scully replied softly.

"Because of me. I wasn't even there. I was supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, and that's what I thought. I didn't know you were alive and I certainly didn't know Liv knew about it. So when Liv just refused to talk about you, I thought she was bottling up her sorrows and I wanted her to vent. So, I pushed a little more than I should have, because I certainly didn't want to compete with a dead girlfriend. But, hell you were alive and the wound was alive, and my little nudges finally made her snap, and I snapped back and walked out."

"And when you read the news that I was alive you didn't see the reason to come back."

"No, not really. I didn't know you were alive till I saw your picture for the case."

"Then why didn't you come back?"

"At first I wanted the things to cool down a little. After that, well, I was abducted."

"You were abducted as in abducted?"

"Yes, abducted by Aliens or by top government secret agents who pretend to be Aliens. It's still under investigation."

"When did you come back or when did they release you?"

"About six months ago."

"Did you contact Liv after that?"

"No. What was I to say, sorry I got abducted, but now I am back, I hope you haven't moved on with your life as I want it back exactly the way I left it." Scully mocked her voice as she could never even imagine herself saying it.

"That's what I did." Alex confessed as the realization of what she had done to Liv hit her.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. Life did move on and life had kept me busy." Dana answered ignoring the guilt that Alex was feeling.

"But, she didn't choose me." Alex voiced as at that moment even Dana's heart found a little bit of hope with the cause that she had thought she had lost.

"So ladies are you ready to come out of the closet?"

Alex and Dana both looked up as they heard Olivia's voice but definitely not in her accent.

"Isn't it funny, come out of the closet." She pointed out as she helped Dana to stand up.

"What is your plan AJ?" Dana asked.

"For now its simple, I just want to have some dinner with friends, namely you two."

"Good, I was hungry." Alex said following AJ.

"Now I am going to untie you both for dinner. You are more than welcome to shoot me, as you'll be shooting your girlfriend." She said looking at Alex, then she turned to Dana, "Or is she your girlfriend…God her mind is so confusing it is hard to make sense of it." AJ made a frustrated gesture and untied Dana.

"I am sorry." Dana said looking directly into AJ's eyes and right at that moment AJ flinched as though she had lost control for a second.

"I loved you, God I loved you." Dana continued.

"Oh what the fuck are you trying to do?" AJ asked confused at Dana's declaration.

"I shouldn't have left, and most of all I certainly should have come back…" Scully confessed.

"So, you left your little girlfriend huh, continue I don't mind a good lesbian love story."

AJ commented as she sat down on the head of the table.

"She couldn't come back because she was abducted and when she came back she just didn't feel right about walking into your life assuming that you hadn't moved on. But, I am sorry, as that is exactly what I did. I didn't even for once think that you might have moved on." Alex decided that she would have her say as well.

"But you were right to do so." Dana was now telling Alex. "You loved her and you never once stopped loving her so when you were back you wanted her back. There is nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah but that was selfish of me. I see it now. I mean you loved her and you only thought about her when you decided to let her move on. Your love for her is not selfish like mine."

"But selfishness is love. Possessiveness, selfishness, jealousy all is a product of love and as long as you don't go overboard with it, it is the greatest show for real love." Dana was backing Alex's heart as she realized how her love had been wrong.

"May be so, but when one can overcome it all and actually love so unselfishly that the happiness of the person you love supercedes everything else, even your own happiness that is the greatest love of all."

"And that is how you love her …"

"No…Dana that is how you love her…"

"Anyone care to ask me who I love?" It was clearly Olivia's voice and accent which interrupted the conversation.

Just then Dana picked up the glass and threw it at the window. No sooner had the glass flung upward, a bullet came shattering the window and landing on Olivia's shoulder.

"That was Olivia." Alex screamed as she saw the blood rushing out.

"I know…" Dana said hurrying by Olivia's side and checking her wound. "It only grazed passed your arm, you'll be ok." Dana said as she did a thumbs up sign towards the window.

"When I came into the room, I saw a red laser following Olivia. I knew that Mo… Agent Reyes must have set up a unit across the street. I knew I had to get Olivia out even for a moment and at that moment if we injured Olivia, her survival instinct would definitely keep AJ out of her body." Dana explained.

"That was a nice shot." Dana said getting up from Olivia's side as she saw several Federal Agent rush inside her apartment.

"Agent Dogget just called. AJ is back in her body and there is a hemorage in her brains so the doctor are going to do an emergency brain operation right now." Monica explained. "How is she?" She asked seeing that the emergency medical team had already put Olivia in the stretcher.

"So what got Olivia out?" Monica asked once she saw that the apartment was less crowded.

"Oh! Alex was talking to her." Dana lied.

"Already in nick name basis with the ex's girlfriend?" Monica raised her eyebrow trying to assess what might have happened.

"We were stuck in the closet together we had to talk."

"Oh yeah the closet." Monica remarked as the two women shared a sly smile at the double meaning of the sentence.

(Couple of days later in a side street café four friends are having lunch and talking and sharing their life as usual.)

"Oh God look!" Samantha said excited at what she was looking.

"Isn't that Detective Stabler?" Charlotte asked recognizing the handsome man that was getting inside a car.

"Yes, that is. Now how come a guy like him didn't get me knocked up when I was in high school." Carrie was asked as she watched the car drive by.

"Because you had the sense to use condom." Miranda answered with logic humor usual.

"And no matter how good looking he is do you see yourself with four kids married to a Detective?" She asked seriously.

"Well, that doesn't mean I can't drool." Carrie retorted.

"Oh you can drool, and so can I." Samantha second Carrie's fantasy.

"Miranda you never told us what happened with your ADA friend." Charlotte asked.

"Oh yeah, the last thing you told us was that you shipped off Alex in a plane to Washington." Samantha added to the question.

"There is nothing much to tell." Miranda answered in her usual, nothing is important to mention tone.

"What do you mean by there is nothing to tell, you said that Olivia might still be in love with her ex right, so is she back with Alex or is she back with the Federal Agent?" Carrie certainly wanted to know.

"Neither, she left them both." Miranda answered matter of factly at her friends who were now staring at her like she had told that the world was ending story.

"I think I can understand her. She did love them and they loved her too, but Agent Scully gave her too much space by just letting life take over and Alex just took too much for granted by walking back into her life and wanting her back, even though she waited for Olivia to come to terms with it, you know how she was when Olivia had said she needed space and Alex was all like what does she need space for, we love each other and that's all that should matter and she kept pushing Olivia get over it. Well now Olivia is over her." Miranda said as though what had happened was a good thing.

"How is Alex doing?" Charlotte asked genuinely concerned.

"She is ok, she is trying to move on with life you know. She has been offered ticket to run for the mayor, she might take it. She also came out, for all you know you'll be voting for a gay woman very soon." Miranda said with more enthusiasm in her voice.

"I'll definitely vote for her. It's about time New York City had a gay mayor." Samantha said with a bang of her fist on the table.

"Aye Aye to that." Carrie added raising her soda glass.