November

Chapter 6

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"Mom?"

"Yeah baby?" Jen yawned, making her way into the kitchen. Mark and Roger were still asleep, and Abby had just woken her up.

"Can I have Cap'n Crunch for breakfast?" she asked, pulling herself onto the couch.

"Sure sweetie. Just watch Sesame Street for me right now and I'll get you some," she answered, turning the lights on in the kitchen.

"Kay." Jen opened the cabinet and poured a small amount of the cereal into the bowl, added some milk to it, and brought it back over to Abby, setting it in her lap. "Be careful. Don't spill it all over the couch."

"Yup."

Jen yawned again and walked back into the kitchen, trying to figure out how to reset the coffeemaker. She pulled the plug out and replugged it back in, hoping that alone would have some effect on it, knocking over an orange pill bottle in the process.

"Fuck." She picked it up, glancing quickly at the label.

ROGER DAVIS

Azidiothymidine (AZT)

She did a double take and stared at it. Roger had HIV? She placed the bottle back on the counter and stared at it, biting her lip. Then it all made sense. The heroin. The visits to the doctor all the time. How could she have been so stupid not to think that something like this could never happen? She'd come back because she needed him, and now he was going to die on her and Abby? Oh god, Abby. How was she supposed to explain to Abby when her daddy eventually gets too sick to get out of bed? Suddenly Jen wished that she didn't have parents that were doctors, because maybe she would be a little out of the loop and pretend that it was just a regular old prescription.

She looked over at the couch, where Roger had just gotten up and was sitting next to Abby, laughing and tickling her.

"Mommy, Roger's up!" Abby called, giggling.

"Be there in a minute," Jen said, pulling open the fridge and getting herself a glass of juice. She set the juice on the counter and slumped against the cabinets, blocking herself from Abby and Roger's view.

And then, before she knew it, she was crying. She didn't want to and she knew she shouldn't, but once she started she couldn't stop.

"Mommy, I said Roger's up! Come on!"

"I said I'd be there in a minute," Jen said, more harshly then she had intended to.

Roger looked up when he noticed the tone in Jen's voice. "Hey Abby, why don't you go see if Mark's up yet? I'm gonna go talk to your mom for a minute."

Abby shrugged and slid off the couch. "But Mom's only getting juice—"

"Go wake Marky up, okay?" he repeated. Abby nodded and took off, her blonde hair bouncing over her shoulders.

Roger walked into the kitchen. "Jen?"

"Yep," she answered. He walked past the island and found her curled up against the cabinets, her head resting on her knees. He also noticed the pill bottle clutched in her hand, and her shoulders shaking.

"Oh god Jen, I'm sorry," he said, sliding next to her and pulling her against him. "I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around her as she cried into his shoulder. "I didn't want you to find out that way."

Jen sniffled, nodding into his chest. "How long have you known?"

Roger sighed and started stroking her hair. "I've been positive for almost 3 years now. 3 years in May."

This only made her sob harder, and as she tried to gulp for air, Roger pulled her into his lap and started rocking her back and forth. "Why?" she whispered, staring at the kitchen tile. "Why you? I know that's so incredibly selfish, but why?"

Roger kissed her forehead. "I don't know baby. I don't know. I made some fucked up mistakes."

"Mommy?" Abby called, rounding the corner of the cabinets. She stood there, her tiny arms resting on her hips, eyes wide. "Mommy, what's wrong?"

Roger looked up at Mark, who was standing behind Abby, a worried expression stretched across his face. He nodded his head, and Mark understood. Jen knew.

"Nothing baby. I'm just a little upset right now," she whispered, smiling at her a little.

"Oh."

"Hey, how about we go downstairs and see what Collins is up to? Then Mom and Da—Roger are going to take you to daycare," he added, catching himself in midsentence.

"I'll see you in a little bit sweetie," Jen said. Abby nodded and waved.

"I'm sorry," Roger repeated. "I should have told you. I feel like a fucking ass for leaving them out. I usually stash them in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom but I fucking forgot, and you found them, and now everything's fucked up. I seriously understand if you don't want to be with me because I'm positive and everything."

Jen shook her head and stood up, putting the juice back in the fridge. "Jesus Christ Roger, how could you ever think that? That I wouldn't want to be with you because of that? You have to come up with something better to send me packing," she laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

He stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her stomach. "Okay. Good."

"So um, how's your T cell count?" she asked, resting her head against his chest.

"It's good. My doctor lowered my dosage back in June. I'm doing good."

She nodded. "Thank god."

"Yeah." He kissed her, rubbing her back at the same time. "I'm okay. Really. Are you? I thought you were gonna get psycho on me for a minute there," he laughed, as she punched him in the stomach playfully.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Jen walked into the living room, picking up Abby's cereal bowl and dumping the leftover milk in the sink.

He ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. "Honestly, you were the only person that ever stood up to me. Like Mark, he's a pushover."

"Oh, nice thing to say about your best friend," she smiled, rolling her eyes.

Roger laughed. "And Collins never really intervened. But you always dished it out like it was, and when I pissed you off you'd fucking go off on me and put me in my place. You wouldn't be afraid to do it, or afraid of me for that matter."

"You're not a scary person."

Roger grinned. "Oh yeah?"

"You're threatening. There's a difference. Probably has something to do with you being 10 inches taller than me and the rest of the population of the city."

"I like being over six feet tall. It works for me. You're just short. How tall are you again?"

"Five-five," she said, grumbling.

"Don't forget that your boyfriend can get you in all the clubs around the city. I know people," he joked.

Jen looked up at him. He had just said it. Boyfriend. In a way it scared her, but in the other—she felt entirely comfortable with him. "Oh yeah, Mr. Well Hung over here. Well Hung my ass."

"Whoa, don't knock it. We were a perfect fit."

Jen laughed and stared at him. "Ew. Great thanks, now I don't want my toast," she said, tossing it at him.

"Thanks," he said, intercepting it and finishing it off.

Jen took a sip of her juice. "Question."

"Shoot."

"Can we…you know? Since you're positive? I mean, what did your doctor say?"

Roger started laughing, and picked her up. "You mean can I stick it in you? Do you want it now?" he asked, starting to tickle her.

"Roger!" she giggled, trying to squirm out of his grasp.

"Yeah. We can. As long as we use condoms we're okay. And this comes from the girl who's parents are both doctors," he laughed.

"Don't make fun of me. Sorry, I guess that was kind of a stupid question," she added.

He shook his head. "No, it wasn't. Was that for future reference?"

Jen glanced at him mischievously. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'll guess you'll just have to wait and see," she teased.

"That's it." Roger started tickling her again.

"ROGER! Put me down! You're gonna drop me on my fucking head!" she yelled.

"Not until you say it."

"Say what?"

"Roger Davis is a well hung sex god."

"No."

Her answer only made Roger tickle her harder. "Say it." When he reached for her feet, Jen started begging him to stop.

"Okay okay. Roger Davis is a well hung sex god. Now put me down!" she laughed, as he set her back on her feet. She walked back into the kitchen and checked the clock. 8:40 AM. "Shit."

"What?"

"Get changed and get your coat. I've gotta get Abby to daycare by 9," she said, stripping off her t-shirt halfway across the living room.

"Oh yeah. Right."

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"I really don't want to get the door," he grouched, running his hand up and down her side. "Because that requires me to get up and move."

Jen laughed, stretching out on his lap some more. Roger pulled the ratty flannel blanket closer around them and switched the channel, hoping for something else besides commercials for once.

"You could hope that whoever it is has a key?"

"Ho ho ho, it's your favorite landlord," Benny chimed, opening the door and grinning broadly. A very pregnant Alison shuffled in behind him, her hand linked through his. "And I'm not here to collect the rent!"

"Oh fuck me," Roger whispered into her ear.

"Behave," she warned. "Hey Benny." She climbed off of Roger and stood up.

"I heard Collins say you were back, but I had to come back and see for myself," he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You look great."

"Thanks," she said, as Roger came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You remember my wife Alison?" he asked. Alison smiled and extended her hand.

"Vaguely," Jen replied. "But it's nice to meet you."

Alison smiled and placed a hand on her stomach. "Nice to meet you too," she laughed.

"So when's the baby due?" Roger asked, shaking hands with Benny briefly.

"Two days ago. I think this kid is contemplating a permanent home inside my stomach," she groaned. She walked over to the kitchen and set herself on a barstool. "Sorry, I just really had to sit down. Benny thinks that walking up and down four flights of stairs is going to move this kid along for some reason."

"No problem," Roger answered.

"Hey, how come we weren't invited to the party?" Maureen whined, stepping into the loft with Collins.

"Because there really isn't a party Mo," Roger said, taking a bagel out of the bag that Collins was holding.

"Oh my god Alison, you look huge!" Maureen added. Collins shot her a look and she bit her lip. "I mean—well, you know what I mean."

Alison laughed. "No, it's fine. I've been getting it from everyone. I just wish this kid would come out already. My back has been killing me lately."

Collins placed the bagels in the kitchen and handed one to Alison. "Hungry?"

"Famished," she laughed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"So what are you having?" Jen asked, taking a seat on Roger's lap again.

"A boy," Benny grinned.

"Any names picked out?"

Alison nodded. "A few. Haven't really made up my mind yet. It's either going to be Trevor or Jesse."

"At least that'll give you something to do when you're in labor," Maureen added sympathetically.

"Don't be a hero. Go for the epidural," Jen added. "I was in labor with Abby for 20 hours, and I was in love with the epidural." She looked back at Roger, who had his chin resting on her shoulder.

Alison glanced up at her. "20 hours? You've gotta be kidding me. Jesus, I hope I don't hold out that long."

"First births are always longer."

Benny helped Alison off of the barstool, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Well we've gotta get going. Alison has another appointment in an hour, and hopefully he'll either induce her or tell us what we can do to get this kid out faster."

Alison grinned. "We'll be sure to call if something happens," she added, as Collins gave her a hug. "Bye guys."

Collins shut the door after them and grabbed his coat, putting it back on. "I'm off too. Class at 12.  I'll see you later for dinner. The Life?"

"Sure," Roger added.

"See ya," Jen added. "Thanks for breakfast."

"No problem. You game Mo?"

Maureen nodded and slipped on her coat. "I'm meeting Joanne for lunch so I'll see you guys tonight."

Roger yawned as Jen waved. "I thought they'd never leave."


"Neither did I. Mark's getting Abby from daycare, so I think I'm gonna run over to my place and start packing up my shit. Wanna come?"

Roger nodded and grabbed his jacket, throwing hers to her as well. "Subway?"

"No, we're walking," she laughed as he kissed her neck.

"Nobody likes a smart ass."

"Huh. Then I guess nobody likes you, Davis."

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"Where do you want the towels?" Roger asked. His head was lodged in the linen closet as he tried to grab a stack of towels and washcloths from the top shelf.

Jen stuck her head around the corner, a box marked 'Bathroom' in her hands. "Um, just stick them in with the sheets and pillowcases. Here. Label it." She threw him a black Sharpie.

"Okay."

Jen stepped over him and placed the box in the living room. They had done a pretty good job—remarkable for the short time they had been in her apartment. Abby's bedroom was completely packed up, and the only items left were Abby's bed and her two dressers.

"How do you want to get over to my place?" he asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Um, we could use my car and take Abby's shit over today. Then I'll probably hire someone to get the beds, dressers, washer, dryer…and the huge entertainment center over there."

"Nah, don't do that. I can get the guys from my band to do it."

"I think you should ask them before you go ahead and tell them that they have plans to move pieces of very heavy furniture up four flights of stairs," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'll just hire movers."

"Whatever you want," he added. "Your mom called before."

"She did? When?"

"When you were packing up Abby's room before. She told me to tell you that she and your dad want to take Abby to Boston for the weekend. From Thursday to Sunday morning, I think," he added.

"Probably to make up for them both not being home Thanksgiving weekend," she said, rolling her eyes. "Did she actually remember who you were?"

Roger laughed. "Kind of. She wanted to know if I was still in that band or whatever, and what I was still doing with you."

"Jesus, I'm sorry. My mom's a snob sometimes," Jen groaned, kicking a few boxes to the side.  "Most of the time."

"Nah, it's okay. She doesn't know that Abby's…?"

"Yours?" Jen nodded. "She knows. I told her. Why, she didn't make some comment did she?"

"No, I was just wondering," he said, kissing her forehead.

Jen nodded. "Go in the bottom drawer of the cabinet, right side of the TV."

"Why?"

"Just do it," she laughed, pushing him towards the TV. "See what you find."

Roger crouched in front of the drawer and pulled it open. What he found, however, was a different story. There was a whole row of tapes, marked with such names as "Abby's first Christmas" and "Abby's 2nd Birthday". "Home videos?"

"Mark would be proud."

"Probably. I want to shove that camera up his ass 90 percent of the time." He kept looking, and at the very back, there was a tape labeled 'Abby's birth'.

"What about the other 10 percent?"

"I stash it away somewhere so he can't find it," he laughed, pulling the tape out and handing it to her. "You taped her birth?"

"My friend Michelle did. That's the ultimate blackmail tape. I look like shit and I'm screaming out about every word you don't want your close family to hear. I think my favorite one was calling the doctor a douche bag—repeatedly. He was a good sport though," she laughed. "Said he's heard worse."

Roger grinned. "Can I watch it sometime?"

"Sure. Put them in the box by the door and I'll remember to put them in my car."

She walked away and into the kitchen, where she started deleting her messages on her answering machine.

"Do you want your laptop too?" he called over.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Hey Jen?"

She looked back as she exited the kitchen and started walking down the hall. "Yeah?" she asked, shifting the box she was carrying higher in her arms.

"I missed you. I don't know if I ever told you that—but I really missed you when you were gone."

She smiled at this. "I missed you too Rog."

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